Cause And Effect
by GrumpyMagrat
Summary: It was a mistake...just a simple mistake. TV verse. Rated T for later chapters.
1. The Mistake

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 1 – The Mistake

Alan set his packed bag near the airlock on Thunderbird 5. John was already on his way to relieve him. Alan was excited. John was coming up a week early so that Alan could accompany Tin-Tin to a scientific conference in Los Angeles. The conference was only three days long, but Jeff had given them permission to stay a few extra days to enjoy the sights of the city. Alan was surprised that his dad had agreed to the trip, but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Vacation time was a premium, but to be able to spend that time with Tin-Tin was a plus.

Out of the corner of his eye, Alan noticed that the monitor on the life support systems control console blacked out and then came back on. It happened so quickly that he wondered how many times it had done it that he had missed. Alan moved across the room to stand in front of the monitor. This particular monitor was the one that showed the atmospheric readouts for the station. Almost everything was reading in the normal range. The temperature was reading two degrees higher than the normal setting, but the oxygen level, the carbon dioxide level and the gravity settings were all within the safety margins.

"I'd better run a system diagnostic on both the monitor and the life-support system." Alan thought to himself, but before he could start it, he was interrupted by an incoming emergency call.

"Calling International Rescue." A small voice said. "Please can anyone hear me?"

Alan sat at the command console and spoke into the mike. "This is International Rescue. What is your emergency?"

The voice of a child was filled with tears. "Our plane crashed. Something happened to Grandpa so he couldn't fly the plane anymore. He won't talk to me. He only moans. I'm scared. Please help us." More was said but Alan couldn't understand it as the voice broke into sobs.

Alan locked in on the co-ordinates of the signal which was in a remote area of Modoc National Forest in northern California. He knew that he needed to calm the child down to get more information. "OK, calm down. I'm going to help you, but you need to answer some questions for me. Can you do that?"

The sobs dissolved back into ragged sniffles. "I'll try."

"Are you hurt anywhere?" Alan asked.

"Just my arm. It hurts some." The little voice replied.

"Do you think it's broke?" Alan continued his questions.

"No, I think it's just bruised." Was the response.

"Good," Alan said as he put a call into the local search and rescue. "Can you tell me your name?"

"It's Alan." The voice responded.

"Hey that's my name too. Isn't that cool?" Alan said. "How old are you Alan?"

"I'm eight. Are you coming to get me?" Little Alan asked.

"I can't come myself." Alan explained. "But I'm going to send other people to get you. Can you tell me what happened to your grandpa right before the plane crashed?"

Tears filled little Alan's voice again. "He told Mommy that his head hurt. Then he yelled and fell forward. But the seatbelt stopped him from falling all the way. The plane started going down real fast. Mommy told me to put my head down and to grab my ankles. She was yelling at Grandpa. He tried to say something back, but I couldn't understand what he said."

"Alan, is your mommy still in the plane?" Alan asked.

"No." Little Alan began to sob again. "I don't know where she is. Her door is gone. I'm scared. I want my Mommy."

"I know, bud, I know." Alan said trying to calm the little boy down. "I need you to be brave for me. Ok? I need to talk to some other people and then I will be right back to talk to you. Can you be brave for me until I get back?"

Little Alan sniffed loudly. "I'll try. Be fast. I get scared when I'm alone."

"You got it little buddy. I'll be back in a flash." Alan said.

Alan talked to the local authorities but decided that they would take too long to reach the downed plane so he called Tracy Island. He explained the situation to his father. "…So given the health concerns of the grandfather and not knowing the condition of the mother waiting almost four hours for search and rescue to reach their location would be out of the question."

"You're right Alan." Jeff said pressing the alarm to signal his remaining three sons. "Download the co-ordinates to Thunderbird 1 and Thunderbird 2. Then get back to the young boy and let him know that the Thunderbirds are on their way."

"F-A-B" Alan said switching the frequency back to little Alan. "I'm back Alan. How're you doing?"

"I thought you forgot about me." Little Alan sniffed.

"No way." Alan replied. "I talked to my boss and the Thunderbirds are on their way to get you."

"What about my Mom?" Little Alan asked.

"My buddies will look for her once they get there. I promise." Alan tried to reassure him. He just hoped that the mother was still alive. "Tell me about yourself, Alan. What grade are you in? Where do you go to school?"

"I'm in the third grade, and I go to Mountain Pine Academy in Redmond, Oregon." Little Alan said. "My best friend is Mike. We ride bikes together."

"Why were you in California?" Alan asked. "Were you on vacation?"

"We weren't in California." Little Alan said in confusion.

Now Alan was confused. The co-ordinates clearly showed the downed plane in California. "Do you know where you were flying to?"

"To Grandpa's house." Little Alan explained. "He lives in Sparks, Nevada. He said that we could go to a ghost town one day and to Lake Tahoe another."

"That sounds like fun." Alan said. "Maybe your grandpa can take you once he gets better."

"How much longer before the Thunderbirds get here? Grandpa isn't moaning anymore. I think he's dying." Little Alan sniffed.

Alan felt helpless. He was concerned about the old man's condition, but there was nothing that could be done until his brothers arrived. "Soon. They should be getting there soon. Thunderbird 1 will get there first and then Thunderbird 2 will get there a few minutes after that. You'll have a great story to tell your friends when you get home. Not many people get to ride in a Thunderbird."

"I get to ride in a Thunderbird?" Little Alan asked incredulously.

Alan laughed. "You sure do, Alan. They'll take you to the closest hospital so the doctors can help your grandpa."

"And my Mom?" Little Alan asked soberly.

Alan sobered too. "Thunderbird 1 has special scanners to look for her. Hopefully by the time that Thunderbird 2 gets…"

Alan stopped when he heard a female voice in the background. "Alan…Dad! Can you hear me? Alan? It's Mommy."

Little Alan also heard the voice. "Mommy! Alan, it's my Mommy!" He yelled. "Mommy! Mommy! I'm over here! Mommy!"

Alan heard the voice getting louder as the mother was getting closer. "I'm coming Alan. Keep talking. Mommy's coming."

Alan knew exactly when she arrived at the plane.

Little Alan shrieked in delight. "MOMMY!"

The mother's voice was filled with emotion. "Alan, oh dear God, Alan. Are you ok? Are you hurt?"

Alan could picture the scene at the plane. Little Alan would be hugging his mom. The mother would be checking her son over for injuries, relief flooding her as she finds only bumps and bruises. Alan snapped back to attention when he heard the mother exclaim. "Dad! Can you hear me? We have to get help, but how?"

"I called International Rescue." Little Alan told his mother.

"International Rescue?" She questioned her son.

"I used the radio and he answered." Little Alan explained. "His name is Alan, just like me."

Finally the mother spoke to Alan. "Hello? Is someone really there?"

A light on the console began to flash indicating an incoming call from Thunderbird 3, along with John's voice saying. "Thunderbird 3 to Thunderbird 5. Come in please." Alan ignored it though. John could wait. The rescue was more important. He spoke to the mother. "International Rescue here, Ms…uhm…I'm sorry I forgot to ask Alan your surname."

"It's Morgan, but you can just call me Lucy. Are you really International Rescue?" She replied.

A lump formed in Alan's throat. First it was a small boy with his own name needing rescuing, and now that little boy's mother's name was the same as his mother's. He was grateful that this mother was alive because he knew the hardships of growing up without a mother. Memories began to flood Alan's mind, but he pushed them away. He needed to concentrate on the rescue. Swallowing hard, he answered Lucy.

"Yes ma'am." Alan said. "Help is already on its way. Are you hurt?"

Relief was evident in her voice. "I have a headache. My arm is broken, and something is wrong with my shoulder. I hurt it when I fell out of the plane, but I'm more worried about my dad. I think he may have had a stroke."

"Did you lose consciousness at all?" Alan asked trying to assess the extent of her injuries.

"I don't think so." Lucy answered. "But I'm not positive. It all happened so fast. One second we were falling and then I was lying on the ground. I'm not even sure how I got thrown from the plane."

"Okay Lucy, we'll deal with it later." Alan said. "I'm going to contact Thunderbird 1 and get and ETA to your location."

Alan switched communication frequencies. First he contacted Thunderbird 3. "Hey John, are you ready to dock?"

"I've been ready." John answered. "What took you so long to answer?"

"We're in the middle of a rescue." Alan said. "I'll explain when you get in. Extending docking tube now."

"F-A-B, Alan. See you in a few minutes." John replied.

Alan switched frequencies again to contact Scott. "Thunderbird 5 calling Thunderbird 1."

"This is Thunderbird 1. Go ahead Alan." Scott's voice came through the radio.

"I wanted to update you on the situation." Alan explained. "The mother is alive and has made her way to the plane."

"That's good to hear." Scott interjected.

"I'd like to give her an ETA on your arrival." Alan said.

Scott checked his console. "Ok Alan, I should be over the danger zone in 2.3 minutes. Thunderbird 2 is 13.1 minutes behind me. That should give me time to develop a rescue plan."

"Thanks Scott. I'll let Lucy and Alan know." Alan replied.

"Lucy and Alan? That's their names?" Scott asked.

"Yeah, what a coincident, huh?" Alan answered.

"I would say so." Scott replied. "Keep me informed of any changes and I'll let you know what the plan is once I devise it."

"F-A-B Scott." Alan said.

Alan switched back to the frequency to talk to Lucy and Alan. "Lucy? I'm back. How are things going?"

"The same," Lucy answered. "Any news?"

"I have good news." Alan began to explain. "Thunderbird 1 should be overhead any second and Thunderbird 2 is less than 15 minutes away. The pilot of Thunderbird 1 will do a fly over and develop a rescue plan." In the background Alan could hear the engines of Thunderbird 1.

"I see it!" Lucy exclaimed. "Thunderbird 1 is here. Alan, do you see that. It won't be long now."

Alan listened as little Alan talked excitedly to his mother. "That is so cool Mom! Alan said that we will get to ride in a Thunderbird. Do you think it's that one? How fast does it go? I can't wait to tell Mike."

Alan saw John enter the control center out of the corner of his eye. He heard Lucy laughing lightly at her son's excitement. "I don't know, Alan. I'm sure they'll tell us when the time comes."

Alan's mind wondered what it would have been like to have had that kind of relationship with his mother. He suddenly felt jealous of his older brothers. They at least had their memories of their mother. Although Gordon's were fuzzy at best, more like feelings rather than true memories, but he had none. He only knew of his mother through pictures and stories that were told to him. His thoughts were interrupted by an incoming call from Scott.

"Thunderbird 1 calling Thunderbird 5" Scott's voice came from the radio.

"This is Thunderbird 5. Go ahead Scott." Alan acknowledged his brother.

"All right Alan," Scott began. "I did a fly over and I think it should be a fairly easy rescue. It looks like the plane hit the tops of a few trees as it came down. The tail and one wing are missing, but the rest of it has come to rest in a small clearing. The clearing is not big enough for me to land Thunderbird 1, but about two hundred yards away is a larger clearing around a lake. So here's the plan. I'll land and make my way back to the plane. By that time Virgil and Gordon should be here. Gordon can winch down in the rescue platform with a stretcher and medical supplies. I'll help him get the victims ready for transport and on the rescue platform. Gordon can winch them back into Thunderbird 2 and they can transport them to the closest medical facility."

"That does sound simple enough." Alan said. "I'll let Lucy know the plan. Let me know if anything changes."

"F-A-B, Alan. I'll talk to you later." Scott said as he disconnected the comm.

Before Alan could re-connect with Lucy, John addressed him. "I can take over if you want to head home. I know you're excited about your trip."

Alan shook his head. "Nah, I'd rather see this through to the end."

John was a little stunned. He had expected Alan to want to leave as soon as possible. John nodded to his brother. "Ok, if that's what you want. I'll go and unpack."

Alan nodded and re-established contact with Lucy. He explained the rescue plan to her. "…So do you have any questions?"

"No, I think that the plan is pretty simple." Lucy replied.

"Since we have a few minutes, I'd like to get as much information as I can." Alan began. "What's your father's name and does he have a history of medical problems?"

"His name is Walter Mitchell, and I'm not aware of any medical problems." Lucy began to explain. "We talk on the phone once a week, but I only get to see him in person for three weeks during the summer and one week over Christmas. It would be easy for him to hide any problems from me." Lucy paused and then quietly added. "I should've never moved away from home."

"When did you move away?" Alan asked and then added. "If you don't mind me asking."

"It's ok." Lucy replied. "I moved five years ago. My husband was killed in a car accident. I wanted to get away from the constant memories and start fresh. I work for an investment firm and they transferred me to the office in Redmond. The first two years my Dad came and visited me but then I decided that I wasn't being fair to Alan. I wanted him to know and do some of the things I did growing up so we started visiting my dad. Alan was so excited about this trip. I can't believe this has happened."

"I'm sorry to hear about you husband. I know that must have been hard for you." Alan said. "But we are going to do all we can to help you and your family."

"I know." Lucy replied. "I **am** grateful, but I'm also scared. Being able to talk to you has helped a lot. I want you to know that."

Alan blushed slightly at the praise. "I'm just doing my job."

"I think I hear something in the trees." Lucy said. "I hope it's your man."

"I'm sure it is. Thunderbird 2 should be arriving any minute too." Alan said.

Lucy sighed. "So it's really almost over." Then a second later she said. "He's here. He just stepped from the trees."

Alan could hear Scott identify himself to Lucy and Alan. Scott's voice became louder as he got closer to the plane.

"Hey Alan," Scott's voice came over the radio. "I'm here at the plane, and Thunderbird 2 should be here any second now. I can hear her engines in the distance."

"Is there anything you can do for Lucy or Walter until Gordon gets down there?" Alan asked.

"Not really, but here is Thunderbird 2." Scott answered. "Gordon will be down here in a minute."

Scott used his watch to talk directly to Virgil. "Scott to Thunderbird 2. Come in please."

Virgil's face appeared on Scott's watch. "Thunderbird 2 here. Go ahead Scott."

"I am here at the wreckage." Scott began to give orders. "We have three victims. Send Gordon down in the rescue platform. He needs to bring a med kit and a stretcher."

"F-A-B, he's on his way." Virgil replied.

It was about three minutes before the rescue platform began its decent from the underside of Thunderbird 2. Scott watched carefully and guided it down to the clearing. "Move 2 feet to the right." "Ok, now move forward about 3 feet." Good, hold it right there."

Once the platform reached the ground, Gordon met Scott with a grin on his face. "I hear you need some assistance on this rescue." Gordon said cheekily.

Scott shook his head. "I think it's the other way around. After all, I'm the one who hiked through the woods to help you."

Gordon laughed and then asked. "Okay, what do you want me to do?"

"Hand me the med kit." Scott said. "I'll splint Lucy's arm and get it in the sling. I want you to get the stretcher set up for Walter."

Scott and Gordon fell into an easy working relationship. In less than fifteen minutes they had Alan, Lucy and finally Walter loaded onto the rescue platform. Scott also climbed on the platform. "I'll ride up with you and help you get them settled in the med bay. Virg can drop me off at Thunderbird 1."

It was only a matter of minutes before Scott was winched down next to Thunderbird 1 and Thunderbird 2 left to take their passengers to the hospital. As Scott took off in Thunderbird 1 he contacted Alan. "Thunderbird 1 to Thunderbird 5." He said.

"Thunderbird 5 here. Go ahead Scott." Alan responded.

"You can officially stand down." Scott began to explain. "The three victims are on board Thunderbird 2. It does appear that Mr. Mitchell did suffer a stroke. Gordon is providing what little medical help that he can. Virgil is going to drop them off at the hospital in Klamath Falls. We'll do the debriefing once you get back home. That way you can leave right away."

"Thanks Scott." Alan replied, relief flooding him that the rescue was successfully completed. "I'll see you at home. Thunderbird 5 out." Turning to John he continued speaking. "Well, she's all yours. I'll see you next month."

John nodded and said. "Thanks Alan. Have fun on your trip, and stay safe."

"Will do big brother." Alan said, whistling as he entered the turbo-lift.

* * *

Two hours later, John stood at the window of Thunderbird 5 looking out at the celestial scene laid out before him. Scott and Gordon could never understand his love of the stars. Virgil could at least see and appreciate the beauty of space, but he still didn't like being up on five for very long. He said that it made him feel claustrophobic.

A strange noise caught John's attention. It was a sizzling, snapping sound. He looked around the station. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Then he heard the noise again. This time he could tell that it came from the console on the far wall. He turned his attention to that monitor. At first he still could not see anything wrong, but then he noticed that the monitor blacked out and then came back on in time to the sizzling noise. John moved to stand in front of the malfunctioning monitor. Again it blacked out and came back on.

"Hmm, the life-support system control monitor." John said aloud. "I wonder how long it's been malfunctioning. It couldn't have been too long. Alan would have said something. I'd better run a diag…"

At that moment, John's world exploded along with the monitor. The next few seconds were a blur for John. His vision filled with a blinding white light, but the only thing that John was aware of was the excruciating pain in his face.

John screamed in agony, his hands instinctively covering his face. It never even registered in his mind that the force of the explosion was propelling him backwards. He welcomed the blackness that enveloped him when his head connected with the floor of his beloved Thunderbird.

* * *

Author's Notes - HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone. We are finally back with a new story. We have been working on it for the past six months and have only finished about half of it, so for the first time, we are breaking our own rule about not posting until the story is complete. We intend to post a new chapter once a week. Hopefully we can keep ourselves ahead of the story.

To the other authors out there - Don't you just love it when a story takes on a life of its own? Drat the Muse!

To the reader who has been kicking our butts about posting what we have (and you know who you are! ;) just kidding, we love you anyways) - Here you go. We promised it around the New Year. Enjoy.

Also the places mentioned in this story: Modoc National Forest, Redmond, Oregon, Sparks, Nevada, and Klamath Falls were places that we found on a US Map. We have no actual knowledge of the area. If there happens to be a Mountain Pine Academy in Redmond, it is a TOTAL coincidence, so don't get upset at us for using the name. :)

We enjoy feedback, so please leave it for us. We hope that you enjoy this story.


	2. Rescuing a Brother

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 2 – Rescuing a Brother

The mission debriefing was just coming to an end on Tracy Island.

"Well, it sounds like everything went smoothly." Jeff said. "Is there any concerns that we need to address?"

"Not a concern," Scott began. "But I would like to congratulate Alan on keeping that kid calm. It's always hard working with scared kids. You did a good job."

Alan blushed slightly at the praise. "It helped having the same name. I was able to divert his thoughts away from his circumstances."

"I agree with Scott." Jeff said. "You did do a good job on this rescue. I'm also impressed that you stayed until the rescue was concluded instead of turning it over to John when he got there."

Alan just shrugged his shoulders. "It was my job. Look, I need to finish some last minute packing if I'm going to be ready to leave with Tin-Tin in a couple of hours."

Jeff nodded. "Okay, Alan, if there's nothing else…" He paused a second and looked at his other sons who shook their heads. "Okay, meeting dismissed."

Alan, Virgil and Gordon left the lounge. Alan headed to his room. Virgil headed out to the beach to paint, and Gordon headed to the pool to swim. Jeff and Scott worked together on Tracy Industries business.

Reading over a file, Jeff said to Scott. "Well, I see no way around it. I will have to go to New York to deal with this myself."

"Are you going immediately?" Scott asked.

Jeff shook his head. "I'll set up the meetings for next week. I don't want to leave International Rescue short-handed, but I don't want to force Alan to give up his vacation either. I'll go when he gets back."

Scott handed a folder to his dad. "If you're going to meet with Mr. Turner next week, maybe you should meet with Ms Dodson. Her company provides…"

A shrieking alarm interrupted Scott. Jeff checked his monitors. "Oh my God." He said sharply as he sounded the household alarm.

"What?" Scott demanded. "What's happening? What's going on?"

Jeff held up a hand to silence Scott. He keyed the comm. unit. "Base to Thunderbird Five. Come in please." The radio however remained silent. "John! Can you hear me? Answer, please."

Scott could hear the concern rising in Jeff's voice as he tried to contact John. Scott could feel his own anxiety rise as the radio remained silent.

Alan and Gordon both entered the lounge at almost the same time.

"What's going on?" Gordon asked.

"I'm not sure." Scott said. "The alarm sounded indicating a problem with Five. Dad's been trying to raise John, but so far he hasn't answered."

Just then Virgil entered the lounge. "Something's wrong with John?" He asked, just catching the last of Scott's statement.

"I certainly hope not." Scott answered.

"Okay boys," Jeff broke in. "You're going to have to go up to Five." He paused to try to collect his thoughts.

"What's wrong up there?" Scott asked.

Jeff's voice choked up a bit. "According to the computer, Five has lost her atmosphere."

Disbelief echoed in three of the brother's voices. They all realized the consequences that it could mean.

"Oh my God! This can't be happening." Gordon said.

"Did John have any warning? Maybe he was able to suit up." Virgil said.

"How'd this happen? Was Five holed?" Scott asked.

Jeff shook his head. "I don't know. According to the computer, hull integrity is still intact. This doesn't make any sense. There is no reading for the oxygen or nitrogen levels. The heat and gravity levels are also at zero. Five shouldn't have just lost her atmosphere without a major catastrophe, but nothing else is registering on the scanners. One of the computers has to be wrong. Either she has been holed or her atmosphere is still intact."

"But if the atmosphere is okay, then why isn't John answering?" Scott questioned.

Jeff shook his head. "I wish I knew."

The Tracys had been so caught up in the horrific announcement that no one realized how Alan had blanched at the report.

"Oh my God," Alan whispered to no one in particular. "I forgot."

Even though it was said softly, Virgil happened to hear it. "You forgot what?" He asked.

Alan's attention snapped back and he found his brothers and father waiting for an answer. "I…uhm…the…I…" Alan stammered.

"Spit it out, Alan." Scott demanded.

Alan swallowed hard. "Earlier I noticed that the Life Support Systems Monitor was acting up. I was going…I meant…" His voice trailed off.

"So could this 'malfunction' have caused a true loss of atmosphere?" Gordon asked.

"It's possible." Alan admitted quietly. "It depends on whether the malfunction was in the monitor or in the life support system itself."

"Would there have been any warning?" Gordon pressed.

Alan studied the floor. "I'm not sure." He answered.

Scott's anger began to rise. "You **knew** there was a potential problem with the life support system, and you didn't do anything about it? Of all the irresponsible, pig-headed, stupid…"

"I was going to run a diagnostic sweep." Alan's head snapped back up. "But then the rescue call came in and my attention got diverted. By the time the rescue was over, I'd forgotten about the monitor."

"**You FORGOT!**" Scott exploded. "Why, you selfish, immature, stupid, son of a…"

"Scott!" Jeff's authoritative voice cut him off. "We'll deal with this later. The most important thing is to get up to Five and check on John. Alan, Scott and Gordon, head to Thunderbird 3. Take Brains with you. I'll have him meet you in Three's silo."

"I'd like to go too, Dad." Virgil said.

Jeff shook his head. "No, if it is just a computer problem, Brains may need you down here to tie in the computer systems in order to make repairs."

Virgil nodded his head and quietly said. "Okay."

Jeff turned to his other sons. "Get going and keep me informed."

"F-A-B" Scott replied as he sat down on the couch next to Gordon. Alan sat on the other side of Gordon. The couch slid down and made its way to Thunderbird Three. After a quick pre-flight check, Thunderbird Three took off through the round house on its way to Thunderbird Five. Alan plotted the course to the space station.

Brains left one of the rear passenger seats in the cockpit. "I'm g-g-going down to the s-storage area. I want to p-p-prep the space suits in c-c-case we need them."

Gordon, who had been sitting next to Brains, nodded. He was tempted to go with Brains, but figured that he better stay just in case Scott and Alan went after each other.

Alan flipped a few switches on the control panel. "ETA to Thunderbird Five is one hour seven minutes." He told his brothers.

"I hope it's soon enough." Scott said with anger dripping from each word.

Gordon tried to diffuse the argument that he could see coming. "It'll be okay, Scott. Let's just concentrate on the job…" Gordon could tell by the fierce look that Scott gave him that he had said the wrong thing.

"It's **NOT** okay, Gordon." Scott snapped. "We have no idea what happened up on Five. This 'job' as you call it is personal. John is up there, and he is in trouble. Trouble that could have been avoided if Alan had done his job."

"Scott, I'm sorry. It's just…" Alan began quietly.

Scott erupted in a fit of rage. "You're sorry? **You're sorry!** Because of your selfish, self-centered desire to get back to earth, John is paying the price!"

"Scott…" Alan tried to speak.

"Don't, just don't say anything." Scott said heatedly. "Has it sunk into your thick skull yet that John could be dead? If Five lost all oxygen, he would have suffocated in minutes. If she depressurized, he would have been killed in a matter of seconds. Are you getting any of this? Can your brain comprehend anything I've said? Do you understand that **you** are responsible?"

"Yeah, Scott, I get it!" Alan yelled back at Scott, his voice trembled with emotion. "I made a mistake! It's **MY** fault! I know that. If I could go back in time three hours and change things, I would. But I can't." Tears began to fall from Alan's eyes. "Even if this turns out to be a computer malfunction, the images that my mind has conjured up will haunt me for the rest of my life. I don't know how I will live with myself if John…if…" Alan's tears began to fall harder from his eyes. Alan abruptly stood up. "I'll be in the lounge." He said as he left the cockpit.

Alan sat in the lounge by himself. He buried his head in his hands and let the tears fall in earnest. He understood his brothers' anger at him. He was angry at himself. He couldn't believe he had forgotten about the diagnostic, but it **was** an honest mistake. It definitely wasn't because he was in a hurry to get back for his trip. He stayed on Five longer than he had too. John had offered to take over the rescue, but he had declined. Doesn't that prove anything? Yes, he got distracted with the rescue, and he forgot about the problem with the monitor. Now so much rested on what they would find on Five. He was fully aware of the consequences of his action, and it scared him.

Sitting alone in the lounge, questions flew through Alan's mind. Was it stupid? Yes. Was it irresponsible? Yes. Was it intentional? No. Was it because he was selfish? No. Will that make any difference if John is dead? …No.

* * *

Gordon moved to Alan's vacated pilot's chair. He wanted to comfort Scott, but his own fears were making it almost impossible. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for over ten minutes. Gordon could see the stress and anger written in Scott's clenched jaw and fiery looking eyes. Finally Gordon got up the courage to speak. "Scott, do you want to talk about this?" He asked. 

Scott shook his head. "Not if you're going to take Alan's side."

Gordon bristled at the tone that Scott used but pushed his feelings of anger aside for the moment. "I wasn't going to take Alan's side. What he did was a dangerous breach of protocol and needs to be dealt with…later. Right now we have a job to do."

"Don't you think I know that?" Scott said angrily. "I've thought of nothing else since that alarm sounded."

Gordon shook his head. "No, I don't think that you have thought this through." He said trying to keep his tone neutral. "You're reacting on gut instinct. Your concern for John is clouding your thinking. You're the field commander. It's your responsibility to devise the rescue plan. For that to happen, you need to be thinking clearly. So you need to push your feelings aside for the moment in order to be any help to us…or John."

Scott looked at Gordon incredulously for a moment and then nodded his head. "You're right. We have to treat this in a professional manner. I'm sorry, but I'm just so worried about what we will find when we get there. I'll try to do better."

"So you'll lay off of Alan until we get home?" Gordon asked.

Scott scowled at his younger brother. "No promises there. It depends on how much he runs his mouth."

"He's just as scared as we are." Gordon said. "You saw how upset he was when he went to the lounge."

"Well he should be." Scott interrupted. "If he had done his job, we wouldn't be in this situation."

Gordon nodded. "But it is possible that he did just forget. He is human after all. We all make mistakes."

Scott shook his head. "But his mistake may have killed our brother. We **have** to be able to trust each other with our lives. No matter what we find on Five, Alan has **broken** that trust."

Scott and Gordon were so engrossed in their conversation that they did not hear the door slide open in order for Alan to hear Scott's last statement. Alan quietly closed the door and returned to the lounge. Thoughts flooded his mind as he sat back down. "They don't trust me. They will probably never trust me again. One mistake and I've destroyed everything. If John **is** dead, I'll have to leave. I could never stay if I killed my brother. Even if he isn't dead, I'll still have to leave. Scott said it. They don't trust me. I can't work without their trust, and I can't stay on the island if I can't work. They won't want me around. **I** wouldn't want to be around. I suppose I could go back to racing, but that would seem pretty lame after working for International Rescue. I have completely ruined my life and there is nothing that I can do to fix it."

Alan lost track of time as his thoughts ran wild through his mind. He heard the door slid open and looked up to see Gordon standing there.

"We are about fifteen minutes out." Gordon said. "Scott wants us to suit up."

Alan nodded. "So, we haven't heard anything from John?"

Gordon shook his head. "No, not a word."

Alan gave Gordon an imploring look. "Please tell me that you don't believe that I would purposely put one of you guys at risk. Please tell me that you believe me when I say that I honestly forgot because of the rescue and not because of the trip."

Gordon could see the pleading in Alan's eyes. He wished that he could reassure Alan, but he had to answer honestly. Shaking his head, he said. "I wish I could say yes, Alan, but I don't know. I just honestly don't know."

Alan's heart sank as he realized that he had even lost Gordon's trust. Gordon…his closest brother…the one person he figured that he could always count on…didn't believe him.

Alan stood up. "Let's get suited up." He told Gordon, and then quietly added. "I won't let my brothers down again."

* * *

Once Alan and Gordon suited up, minus the helmet, they headed to the cockpit to join Brains and Scott, who were both suited up also. Alan immediately sat down in the rear seat next to Brains. Gordon gave Alan a questioning look but didn't say anything instead he sat down in the co-pilots chair. 

"How much longer?" Gordon asked Scott.

"ETA is 5.7 minutes." Scott replied. "I can put Thunderbird Five on the viewing monitor. We can at least see if she is still functioning."

Gordon nodded and then his face lit up. "There! I can see her." He said as he pointed toward the screen where Five hung tranquilly in her orbit.

"I see her." Scott acknowledged. "Her lights are still on so that means she still has power."

"But that's a good sign, isn't it?" Gordon asked.

Scott shrugged. "I hope so, but…" He flipped the comm. switch. "Thunderbird Three to Thunderbird Five, come in please." There was no answer to his hails. "John, can you hear me? Please respond." Scott continued to call Thunderbird Five as they made their approach, but the radio remained stubbornly silent. Scott looked at Gordon. "Try using Three's docking remote to activate the docking tube."

"F-A-B, Scott." Gordon replied. He flipped some command switches and Thunderbird Five's docking tube began to extend. Once it was fully extended, Gordon turned back to Scott. "Docking tube is fully extended and locked. You can commence docking procedures."

"Thanks Gords, commencing docking now." Scott said as he carefully maneuvered Thunderbird Three into the docking port. Once the procedure was complete, he shut down Thunderbird Three's engines. "Docking complete. Let's go find John." He said as he grabbed his helmet and headed for the turbo-lift to take them to the airlock.

Once they reached the airlock, Brains began to give orders. "Everyone n-n-needs to put their h-h-helmets on. I'm going to p-p-program the computer to scan and then m-m-match the atmosphere readings inside Five."

In just a matter of two minutes the airlock door slid open. The four of them stepped into Thunderbird Five, relieved to find the gravity plating working. The airlock door slid closed behind them. Brains held up a hand-held scanner. "According to this s-s-s-scanner, all the atmospheric r-readings are n-n-normal."

Scott took off his helmet and took a deep breath. "Good, let's get up to the command center and find out what's going on." He said as he headed to the turbo-lift, with the rest following behind him.

As soon as the lift's doors opened, Scott entered the command center, his eyes scanning for any sign of his brother. "John! Are you here?" He called. Just then his eyes spotted the still form of his brother lying near the far wall. "Oh my God, John!" He yelled as he ran to his brother's prone body. Scott knelt next to John heedless of the glass fragments that littered the floor. He was shocked as he took in John's burned and bloodied face as well as his burned hands. With a shaking hand, he reached towards John's neck to feel for a pulse. John's skin felt cool and clammy, but from underneath Scott could feel a weak, rapid pulse. Scott bowed his head in relief while fighting off the tears that suddenly filled his eyes.

Gordon and Brains followed Scott across the room and stood behind him. Alan however seemed rooted to his spot just inside the door. When he saw Scott bow his head, he assumed that his worst nightmare had just come true. He had killed his brother.

Gordon also assumed the worst when he saw Scott bow his head, but he needed to hear the words. "Scott?" He questioned his voice breaking.

Scott cleared his throat and looked up at Gordon. Emotions rang in his voice as he replied. "He's alive."

* * *

Author's Note: We want to thank all those who reviewed. :-) We tried to answer all of them, but we had a few that were anonymous, so we wanted those readers to know how much we appreciated them too. Plus, we would LOVE more. So help us out and make us feel better by reviewing. Thanks a million.


	3. Injuries

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 3 – Injuries

"He's alive."

That statement echoed around Alan's head. He leaned against the closest wall as he tried to bring his breathing under control. His vision blurred as his eyes swam with tears.

Suddenly Gordon was in front of him. "Alan, are you ok?" He asked.

Alan shook himself mentally and forced himself to stand up straight. "Yeah, I'm ok. How's John?"

"He's alive." Gordon replied. "That's the most important thing. Brains is checking him over. He wants an emergency med kit and stretcher. I'm heading to the med-bay to get them."

"I'll come and help you." Alan told him. They both left the command center in silence.

"How is he, Brains?" Scott asked.

Brains shook his head. "He needs immediate m-m-medical attention. It appears that monitor b-blew up directly in his f-f-face. He has at least second d-degree burns on his face, m-m-maybe a few third d-degree ones. He also has f-first and second degree b-b-burns on his hands. I also b-b-believe that he is in sh-shock. He is showing c-c-classic signs: cool, c-clammy skin; shallow r-r-rapid breath; weak rapid p-pulse. The loss of c-consciousness could be a r-r-result of shock or from a h-h-head injury. I'll know m-more once I can use a m-m-medical scanner."

"What about his eyes?' Scott asked. "They're bleeding."

Brains nodded. "I c-can see glass f-f-fragments imbedded in his eye l-l-lids. I don't want to r-r-risk opening them in c-case there is any g-glass imbedded in the eye it-it-itself. I would pr-prefer a specialist handle that c-c-care in order to m-m-minimize the potential d-damage."

"So if there is glass in his eyes, will he be blind?" Scott pressed.

Brains shrugged. "It d-d-depends on the amount of f-fragments and how deeply they p-p-penetrated."

Gordon and Alan returned at that moment. Alan squatted down next to Brains. "How bad is he hurt?"

Scott was the one who answered. "Bad. We need to get him to a hospital as soon as possible." He said hostilely, glaring at Alan. "I need to let dad know." Scott moved to the comm. link to explain to their father what they had found.

Alan watched as Brains ran the medical scanner over John. "How is he? Is there anything that I can do?"

Brains looked up from the scanner. "The good n-n-news is that he does not h-have any broken b-b-bones, although he d-does have a mild c-c-concussion. The burns are mostly s-s-second degree burns so with the pr-proper treatment they should h-h-heal correctly. The eyes are my b-b-biggest concern. A sp-specialist needs to evaluate the d-d-damage." Brains put the scanner away and pulled an IV set up from the med kit. "If you w-want to help, you c-can get out a b-b-burn pack. Pour the burn s-solution over his hands and then w-w-wrap them in the sterile dr-dr-dressing."

Alan nodded. "Should I do the same for his face?"

Brains shook his head. "No, the c-c-condition of his eyes is d-delicate. I will take c-c-care of his f-face after I st-st-start an IV."

Brains and Alan worked on prepping John for the flight home while Gordon carefully spread a sterile sheet over the stretcher. Alan and Gordon carefully lifted John up and placed him on the stretcher. Even though they tried to be as gentle as possible, the movement elicited an involuntary painful moan from John. Brains activated the anti-grav unit that raised the stretcher up to a comfortable maneuvering height.

Scott, who had just finished talking to their father, heard John moan. He pushed Alan back away from the stretcher as he forced his way in to stand next to John. He placed a hand gently on his brother's chest. "John? Can you hear me?"

Brains interrupted. "I b-b-believe that was an in-involuntary response, not a m-m-move toward c-c-consciousness."

Scott nodded towards Brains but still addressed his unconscious brother. "You hang in there, John. We're going to get you to the hospital real soon." Turning to the rest of the group, he continued. "Alan, get Three ready to head back."

"But what about Five?" Alan asked.

"Father said that the repairs will have to wait. He wants John to the hospital as soon as possible." Scott replied. "Brains, can you get her on auto quick while Gordon and I get John settled in Three?"

"What hospital is dad planning on taking him to?" Alan asked.

"Sydney." Scott answered. "Virgil is prepping Tracy Four so they can leave as soon as we get home. Father asked if we could remove his uniform without causing anymore damage."

Brains nodded his head. "I b-believe that it's possible. We just n-n-need to be very gentle while d-doing it. Can you g-g-get me his civilian cl-clothes?"

"I'll do it." Alan said as he entered the turbo-lift to head towards John's quarters. He was back in the command center in a matter of minutes. Scott and Gordon were talking between themselves.

"Why the Sydney Hospital?" Gordon asked. "Why not Auckland? Or even up to LA?"

Brains answered for Scott. "It's a g-g-good choice. The Sydney H-h-hospital has a twenty-four hour eye emergency d-d-department. He can be examined b-by an eye sp-sp-specialist immediately."

"That's what dad said too." Scott said. "He's contacting them right now. Knowing dad, the specialist will be waiting at the door for us."

"Then let's get going." Gordon said as he moved to the head of the stretcher.

Alan nodded. "Let me know when you guys have John settled." He said as he headed toward the cockpit.

Scott grabbed the other end of the stretcher and helped Gordon maneuver the stretcher out of Thunderbird Five.

Brains addressed Scott. "P-p-put him on one of the b-b-beds in the living quarters. I'll g-g-get the medical supplies from the st-st-storage unit once I f-finish here."

By the time that Brains had finished transferring the controls of Thunderbird Five to the Island, Scott and Gordon had settled John onto the bed. Brains double checked John's vital signs and was satisfied that there had not been any significant change after moving him. Brains nodded at Scott. "He's s-st-stable right now."

Scott returned Brains' nod. He opened the comm. to Alan. "Alan, we are set back here. Get us back as quickly as possible, but keep it smooth too. John doesn't need to be jostled."

"F-A-B," Alan voice came over the comm. "Starting undocking procedures now. Co-ordinates to Tracy Island are locked in. ETA is one hour and thirty four minutes." Quietly he added. "Can you let me know if there is any change in his condition?"

Scott pinched the bridge of his nose. The stress of the past hour and a half had given him an intense headache. He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Yes, Alan, I will let you know of any changes."

Unfortunately, Scott's loud exhale sounded like an exasperated sigh to Alan. Alan disconnected the comm. Under his breath he muttered. "Believe it or not, Scott, I am just as worried about our brother as you are."

The hour and a half flight was the longest flight for Alan. Nobody came to check on him. They didn't even contact him on the comm. He tried calling back after twenty minutes which earned him a curt, "I said that I would let you know if there was any change" from Scott. He didn't try calling again because he didn't want to upset Scott anymore. He had hoped that Gordon would have brought him an update, but that didn't happen. Even though Alan could understand his brothers' feelings, their actions hurt him badly. It cut him to the quick.

Alan keyed the comm. when Thunderbird Three approached the Island. "Thunderbird Three to Tracy Island, request permission to land."

"Thunderbird Three, you have permission to land." Jeff replied. "How's John?"

"You'd have to ask Scott." Alan said. "Commencing landing procedure now." He disconnected the comm. before Jeff could say anything else.

Alan made a flawless landing in Thunderbird Three's silo. He made sure that he did all the post-flight checks before he left the cockpit. He wasn't about to ignore protocols now. He took the turbo-lift down to the living quarters which he found to be empty. He had been left out again. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that they were moving John to Tracy Four, but it would have been nice if someone would have told him. He wasn't sure if they were intentionally shutting him out or not. He hoped not. He hoped that they just didn't realize that they were shutting him out, but it still hurt no matter what their reasoning. Taking a deep breath, he blinked back the tears that had suddenly filled his eyes. Alan returned to the turbo-lift and rode down to exit Thunderbird Three. When Alan exited the spacecraft, he was surprised to find Gordon waiting for him.

Alan nodded toward his brother. "Hey Gordon," he said. "Did they take John to the plane?"

Gordon returned his brother's nod. "Yeah, dad and Virgil were waiting here when we landed. They wasted no time getting him off of Three and into the railcar. The last I heard when the door closed was Scott and dad arguing over who was going to the hospital with him."

"Why didn't you go with them?" Alan asked.

Gordon looked startled. What kind of question was that? Calmly he answered. "I was waiting for you. Why else?"

Alan just shrugged as he and Gordon entered the railcar to take them to the hanger. "Any change in John's condition?" He asked.

Gordon rested his elbows on his knees and tapped his fingers together. "He was still unconscious but Brains did say that his vitals were improving with the induction of the IV."

"Good," Alan nodded. "That's good to hear."

Silence reigned as the car traveled along the monorail. Finally Gordon tried to initiate a conversation. "What took you so long when we landed?"

Alan shrugged again. "I had to do the post-flight checks."

Gordon was a bit dumbfounded. "That could've waited a few minutes, don't you think?"

The railcar came to a stop and the doors opened. Alan stood up and headed toward the open doors. Without looking back, he said. "I didn't want to risk forgetting."

Gordon paused for a moment. Obviously Alan was taking this harder than they had imagined. He decided to have a serious heart-to-heart talk with his baby brother when things settled down.

Gordon jogged to catch up with Alan as he headed toward where Virgil stood by the open hanger door. "Scott went with them?" Gordon asked.

Virgil nodded. They watched as the plane lined up on the runway. The engines on the plane revved as it rushed down the runway and lifted into the air. Virgil turned to face his younger brothers. In answer to Gordon's question he said. "Yes, Scott went with them. He convinced dad to let him fly so that dad could sit with John."

Gordon nodded. "So what do we do while we are waiting?"

"I don't know." Virgil replied. "I guess we could go back to Three and take care of the post-flight checks."

Alan spoke for the first since arriving in the hanger. "I already took care of that."

Virgil looked surprised. "You did the checks? All of them?"

Alan's face flushed with anger, but he worked at keeping his voice neutral. "You better double check. We wouldn't want another one of 'Alan's screw-ups', now would we? I'm going to the lounge to wait for an update." Alan turned and headed toward the door.

"Now wait just a min…" Virgil started to reprimand Alan.

"Let him go Virg." Gordon broke in.

"Did you hear him just now? He is acting like he's the victim. If it wasn't for him…" Virgil began to complain.

"Yes Virg, and he knows that." Gordon tried to explain. "Scott already tore into him on Thunderbird Three. He started crying in the cockpit and ended up going to the lounge to get away from us. He's afraid for John and is really feeling guilty. This is really eating him up. I think that we should lay off him for a while. You know, give him some time to get himself together."

Virgil nodded. "Okay, you know him better than any of us. But he will have to eventually answer for his actions. I'm still going to go double check Three just for my peace of mind."

Just then the alarm went off. Virgil and Gordon sprinted to the lounge.

* * *

On his way to the lounge, Alan was surprised when he bumped into Tin-tin. "Tin-Tin? I thought you would've left for the conference by now." 

Tin-Tin shook her head. "Well, with everything that is going on, I decided not to go. I may be needed here."

Alan shook his head in disgust. "Great, another thing to blame me for."

Tin-Tin was confused. "Blame you? I don't blame you. Accidents happen."

Alan was about to argue when the alarm went off. "We'll have to talk later." He said as he headed toward the lounge.

Alan was the first one to reach the lounge. So he sat down at the desk and began to read over the information that was being relayed down to the Island from Thunderbird Five.

"What do we have?" Gordon asked as he and Virgil entered the room.

Alan was carefully reviewing the rescue intel. "There are two mountain climbers and a guide trapped by a small avalanche on Aconcagua Mountain in South America. There is a storm moving in and the Argentinean authorities can't reach them in time."

Virgil shook his head. "What in the world are they doing on that mountain at this time of year? It's the middle of winter there."

Alan gave a snort of derision. "Apparently the climbers are some rich playboys who decided it would be more 'adventurous' to climb the mountain in winter. They paid the guide an obscene amount of money to take them."

"What idiots." Virgil said sarcastically. "Money isn't worth anything if you're dead." Turning to his brothers, he continued. "Ok, since we are short handed, we'll just take Thunderbird Two. Gordon, you come with me. We'll take the Excavator. Since it can clear a landslide, it should be able to clear an avalanche. Alan, you stay here and monitor the transmissions. Let us know if there are any changes."

Alan began to argue. "I can do that from Two. Wouldn't it be better to have an extra pair of hands?"

Virgil shook his head. "With both dad and Scott gone, I'm in charge. This is what I've decided. Now follow your orders.

Alan's face flushed with anger, but then Scott's words to Gordon filled his ears. "We have to be able to trust each other with our lives…Alan has broken that trust." Virgil's actions suddenly became clear to him. "He doesn't trust me." He thought. His anger turned to despair. He turned his head away from his brothers so they could not see the tears that were building in his eyes. Quietly he said. "F-A-B."

Virgil nodded and disappeared as the wall picture tipped him back onto the slide that would take him to the cockpit of Thunderbird Two.

Gordon hesitated for a moment. "Alan…" He began but Alan cut him off.

Without even looking at his brother, he said. "You'd better get going. I wouldn't want Virgil to be kept waiting because you were talking to me."

Gordon nodded. "Okay, but I would like to talk to you when we get back."

Alan didn't really want to hear what Gordon had to say. He already knew that he had ruined everything. He didn't need to hear it. Alan just nodded and quietly said. "If you want to."

* * *

Author's Note: Poor John, what have we done to him? And, poor Alan, how will this affect him?

Again, we want to thank everyone for their reviews, even our few anonymous ones. We love all the feedback that we have been getting.


	4. The Rescue on the Mountain

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment

Chapter 4 – The Rescue on the Mountain

It took Thunderbird Two an hour and eighteen minutes to reach the danger zone. Gordon sat in the co-pilot's chair. As they approached the mountain he began to scan the last known co-ordinates of the climbers.

"Got anything?" Virgil asked.

Gordon shook his head. "No…wait a minute." He flipped a couple of switches. "Yes, I have a faint heat signature. It could be them."

Virgil glanced at the screen. "Can't you get a better reading than that?"

Gordon tried to zero in on the reading but still couldn't get anything better. He shook his head and answered. "No, that's the best that I can do. If they were buried in an avalanche, it would interfere with the scanner."

"Okay, give me the co-ordinates and we'll do a visual fly over." Virgil ordered. "Let's record the visual and then cross reference it with the heat source readings and the most recent topographical records. I want to know as much as I can about that section of the mountain."

"You got it Virg." Gordon answered. "I'll check with the World Geographical Association and see what they have. I'll also check with the legitimate climbing services. Maybe I can download their maps. Since they were up there just a few months ago, they probably have the most up-to-date information."

"Good thinking, Gords." Virgil said. "Let me know when you have the information and then we can formulate a plan."

A half hour later, Virgil was explaining the plan to Alan over the comm. "We think they may be in a small cave. According to the company that the guide, Eduardo is his name, worked for, there is a small cave in the vicinity of the heat signature. It is also the area that seems to be covered by the avalanche. The company has used it a few times during extreme weather. So we figured that the victims may have taken shelter in the cave, but then were trapped in there by the avalanche. According to the climbing guide that we talked to, there is a small clearing about 37 yards from the cave. It will be tight, and it has a slope to it, but I can adjust the landing gears for that, and I should be able to land. Then Gordon and I will clear a path to the cave with the excavator. If they are in the cave, then we can just return with them to Thunderbird Two. If they aren't there, then we'll have to scan the mountain some more. Hopefully that won't be necessary."

Alan nodded. "I hope not either. Please be careful. The snow on the mountain is still unstable. Your approach could cause another avalanche."

"We'll be careful." Virgil responded. "We will take it one step at a time. We'll deal with a second avalanche when or if it happens."

"Ok Virgil." Alan said. "Keep me informed and good luck."

Virgil nodded. "F-A-B and Alan…" He paused for a moment. "Have you heard anything from dad?"

Alan shook his head. "No, I haven't, but I'll let you know as soon as I hear something."

Virgil gave Alan a small smile. "Thanks, Alan. I'll let you know what we find in the cave."

"F-A-B, Virg." Alan said as he disconnected the comm.

Virgil landed Thunderbird Two in the clearing and Virgil joined his brother in the Excavator. Carefully they left the pod. They kept their speed on the slow side to minimize sound waves and vibrations. They carefully moved scoops of snow out of their way. It took them just over twenty minutes to reach the cave. When they entered the cave, they found the three people. Unfortunately only one was conscious and just barely at that.

Virgil knelt in front of the man. "We are from International Rescue. We're here to help you. Can you tell us what happened?"

"Cold…so cold." The man replied.

Virgil looked at Gordon who was kneeling next to the others. "That one is dead." Gordon said pointing towards one of the bodies. Then pointing at the other body, he continued. "This one is barely alive. I would hazard a guess that this is Eduardo. He doesn't fit the description of a rich playboy."

Virgil laughed. "And what would that be? You've been described as a 'rich playboy'. How do you fit the description right now?"

Gordon laughed as he looked down at his uniform. "Not very well at this time, I guess. But from what we know about these guys, they like for people to know that they're rich, unlike us. Nobody would think that any of us are 'rich playboys' especially while we are working."

Virgil nodded. "You got that right, and speaking of working, we better get back to work. These two need immediate medical attention."

Gordon returned the nod. "F-A-B. I'll grab the stretchers."

Once they had the two live victims on the stretchers, Virgil turned to Gordon. "We can only fit one stretcher in the excavator at a time." Pointing to the unconscious man, he said. "I'll take Eduardo first. He seems to be in the worse shape. I'll also take the dead one. We can put him in your chair. You will have to stay here and take care of this one."

Gordon hesitated a moment. "How about if I follow behind the Excavator with the stretcher?"

Virgil shook his head. "No, there is still too much of a risk for another avalanche. I want you in here; at least you'd have some protection. I can always dig you back out if I need to."

"But what if you and the Excavator get buried?" Gordon argued.

Virgil sighed heavily. "Look Gordon, every option has some risks. This is the one that I feel has the least amount of risks. We'll deal with any problems as they arise. Please don't argue with me anymore."

Gordon nodded. "Sorry. Let's get moving then."

They loaded the first two victims into the Excavator. "Be careful, Virg." Gordon said.

Virgil gave him a quick hug. "I will be. I'll be back as quick as I can. Try to keep this other one talking. See if you can't get any information out of him. We need to know which 'playboy' is which."

"F-A-B." Gordon replied.

Virgil climbed in the Excavator and headed away from the cave. Gordon knelt next to the victim. "Hey buddy, can you hear me? Can you speak? Can you tell me your name?"

The victim stirred on the stretcher. He opened his eyes just a crack. "Name…my name?" He whispered. "It's Rick…Richard."

"Okay Rick, how about your friends? Can you tell me their names?" Gordon asked.

Rick's eyes started to slide shut.

Gordon shook his shoulder. "Hey, don't go to sleep. Talk to me. What about the other two? Give me their names."

Rick's eyes opened again. "Bob, (cough, cough) my friend is Bob Stevenson. He wanted to take this trip. Now he's dead."

Gordon was startled by Rick's statement. Obviously whatever happened to Bob, happened before they succumbed to the cold. "What happened to Bob?"

Rick did seem to be thinking clearer. Gordon didn't know if it was because he was warming up with the blankets, or if someone to talk to was forcing him to concentrate. Gordon was still concerned over the heavy cough that Rick had.

In between coughs, Rick began to explain what had happened earlier. "We took shelter in this cave because a storm hit. Eddie (cough, cough)…Eduardo, our guide, wanted to head back down the mountain. The weather was against us and we were running out of supplies, (cough, cough) but Bob…he wanted to keep going. He was insisting on it. The storm finally stopped. Eddie and I wanted to go back. Bob was fighting us. (cough, cough) We heard a noise. Bob went to investigate. Eddie tried to stop him. He said that it could be dangerous. (cough, cough) He said something about an avalanche. As usual though, Bob wouldn't listen to anybody. He had taken two steps outside the cave when the avalanche hit. (cough, cough) It even swept part way into the cave. Eddie was a few feet behind Bob and got swept into it too. (cough, cough) Once it stopped I began digging. I found Eddie after a few minutes. He was covered in snow and was having trouble breathing. (cough, cough) We both dug, trying to find Bob. When we did…he was already gone. Eddie said it was as…apex…asphyxiation. (cough, cough) Eddie tried to call for help on the radio, but we couldn't reach anyone. It was getting colder and the air was growing thin. (cough, cough) Eddie passed out and then…I don't know…I must have fallen asleep or passed out. The next thing I knew, you guys were here."

Gordon patted Rick on the shoulder. "Take it easy. Your emergency call did get through. That's why we are here.

Gordon and Rick continued to talk about small things. It helped serve two purposes. First, it helped keep Rick awake and alert. Second, it kept Gordon from dwelling on the situation with John.

Gordon learned about how Rick and Bob had met in college, two young men from rich but aloof families. Desperate for a sense of belonging and because of the similarities in their childhood, Rick and Bob became fast friends. Unfortunately, Bob had a domineering personality who had a way to talk people into doing things that they didn't really want to do. That's how Rick ended up trapped by an avalanche on a mountain during the dangerous winter months.

Gordon felt a mix of emotions. Being at boarding school, he knew plenty of kids who were in the same situation as Bob and Rick, but not himself. He was grateful for his family. He knew that he was loved. He knew where he belonged. Even though they were going through a rough time at the moment, he knew that his family would always be there for him or his brothers.

Finally after about forty-five minutes, a noise could be heard in the distance. Rick immediately began to panic. "It's happening (cough, cough) again. An avalanche! (cough, cough)"

Gordon grabbed both of Rick's shoulders and held him down as he struggled to get up. "Hey, calm down. It's not an avalanche. Come on. Relax. Listen to me. It's **not** an avalanche. It's my partner returning. We'll be leaving soon."

Gordon's words finally sunk into Rick's brain, and he started to relax. "Good. If I ever see another bit of snow again in my life, it will be too soon."

The Excavator stopped outside the cave opening. Virgil hurried in. "Gordon? Are you ready?"

Gordon nodded. "Yeah, let's get going. There's nothing left to do here."

Virgil and Gordon loaded Rick into the excavator, and returned to Thunderbird Two. They settled Rick in the med bay, and Virgil did a quick check of Eduardo.

"Eduardo seems to be improving with the blankets and the warming methods." Virgil said. "Go ahead and start the same treatment with Rick. Stay here and monitor them while I fly us to the hospital."

"F-A-B" Gordon said. "By the way, have you heard anything about…?"

Virgil shook his head. "I would have thought so, but not yet. I'm going to double check with Alan and see if he 'forgot' to tell us." He said as he headed toward the cockpit.

Virgil sat down in the pilot's chair. He began to power up Thunderbird Two while at the same time he called Alan. "Thunderbird Two to base."

Alan's face appeared on the screen. "Base here. Go ahead Virg."

"We have rescued the victims." Virgil began to explain. "They are in the med-bay. Unfortunately, one was dead on our arrival. We are going to fly them to the hospital in San Juan."

"F-A-B" Alan replied.

"Have you heard anything from dad?" Virgil asked.

Alan shook his head. He was irritated that Virgil asked. He had told them that he would let them know. It was just another indication that they didn't trust him. He bit back the angry retort that popped into his head. He kept his tone neutral when he replied. "No, I haven't heard anything yet."

"What's taking so long?" Virgil snapped. "It's been over three hours."

Alan felt his anger rise some more. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly in order to keep from snapping back. "I don't know what's taking so long, but I will let you know as soon as I hear something."

"All right, Alan." Virgil said still in a disgusted tone. "I'll check back in when we leave the hospital."

"F-A-B" Alan said and then quickly disconnected the comm. He sat at the desk lost in thought until he heard a voice call his name.

"Alan, are you ok?" Tin-Tin asked from the doorway. She could tell that he was still upset over the events of the past few hours.

Startled, Alan looked up. "Tin-Tin, I didn't hear you come in."

"You were talking with Virgil." Tin-Tin explained. "How did the rescue go?"

Alan sighed. "They were able to rescue two of the three. The other was dead on their arrival."

Tin-Tin studied Alan's tense pose. "Do you want to talk about this?"

Alan met Tin-Tin's eyes. Even though she wasn't specific, he knew what she was talking about. "There's nothing to talk about. I almost killed my brother. End of story."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "It wasn't your fault. It's not like you sabotaged the monitor."

"But I **forgot** to run the diagnostic scan." Alan interrupted. "Hell, I didn't even tell John there was a problem."

Tin-Tin reached out and took Alan's hand in her own. "You forgot." She said soothingly. "We all forget things at times. It's just part of being human."

Alan pulled his hand out of hers. "You can't 'forget' when it comes to life and death situations." Alan snapped.

Tin-Tin reached out to stroke Alan's face, but he moved back away from her. "Alan, please, this is eating you up. I can see it, and it's scaring me. I've never seen you this upset."

Alan bowed his head. "I'm sorry. I really am…for so many things."

Tin-Tin quietly said. "You have to find a way to forgive yourself. Let me help you. Tell me what I can do."

Alan shook his head. "I can't forgive myself. Just like my brothers will never forgive me…or trust me again."

"They will Alan." Tin-Tin tried to reassure him. "They just need time. Give them that time."

Alan looked pleadingly at Tin-Tin. "I really can't talk about this anymore. I still have to monitor this rescue. After all, the protocol states that the rescue is not over until all the Thunderbirds are home."

Tin-Tin nodded. "Okay, I'll stay and help."

"No!" Alan said sharply but instantly regretted his tone when he saw the shocked look on Tin-Tin's face. Softening his tone, he continued. "I'm sorry. I need to do this alone." He realized a second too late that his desire to prove himself was written in that statement. He tried to clarify himself. "I mean that I want to be alone right now. I have a lot to deal with right now. Please understand, Tin-Tin."

Tin-Tin could see the emotions building in Alan. She also knew that he would not want to display those emotions to her. She nodded. "Okay, Alan, but call me if you need me, even if it is just to talk."

Alan returned her nod. "I will." His eyes followed her as she left the lounge. He rested his head in his hands on the desk. He closed his eyes and concentrated on calming down. His mind wandered over the events of the last few hours. This day had started out with such promise, but then it had suddenly turned into a nightmare. The sight of John laying on the floor of Thunderbird Five, burned and bleeding, kept replaying in his mind. No matter how hard he tried to push it away. Scott's words also echoed through his head. "He broke that trust." His anger that he felt earlier had dissipated, but despair took its place. Things were so messed up at the moment and who knew how it was going to end up.

Alan jumped when a beeping sound filled the lounge, indicating an incoming call. He pressed the phone button and the screen on the desk raised up as the call was connected. His breath caught in his throat when he saw who was calling. Swallowing hard, he said. "Hi, Dad."

* * *

The trip to San Juan only took about ten minutes. Virgil landed Thunderbird Two on the helipad that was on the roof of the hospital. They were met by the emergency medical teams. Gordon explained to the medical personal what had happened to the victims and the known injuries. Most of the team did speak English which made the conversation easier, except for a rare word here or there that had to be explained further. 

Virgil's watch beeped. Raising it up, he saw Alan's face in it.

Alan spoke first when he saw Virgil's face. "I finally have news about…"

"Just a minute, Alan," Virgil broke in. "We are in the middle of the victim transfers. We'll contact you when we are back in Thunderbird Two."

Alan nodded. "F-A-B. I'll be waiting."

Fifteen minutes later the victims were safely in the hands of the hospital staff, and Virgil and Gordon had returned to Thunderbird Two. Virgil keyed the comm. "Thunderbird Two to Base, come in Alan."

Alan answered immediately. "Base here."

Before Alan could continue, Virgil asked. "How's John?"

Alan's face showed a myriad of emotions. He simply said. "He's in surgery."

* * *

Author's Note: Poor John...surgery? Okay, how mean are we? Making you wait another week to find out about poor John, but we hope you enjoyed this chapter anyways. 

Again we want to thank everyone who has reviewed this story so far. We really, really appreciate them. Join us next week to find out John's condition.


	5. At the Hospital

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment

Chapter 5 – At the Hospital

Tracy four took off from the Island. Scott locked in the co-ordinates to Sydney and then set the auto-pilot. He drummed his fingers against the yoke. He really wanted to go check on John, but even with the plane on auto-pilot; he needed to stay just to be safe. He keyed the comm. to the passenger compartment. "Dad, the co-ordinates to the Sydney airport are locked in. ETA is two hour and eleven minutes."

"Thank, Scott," Jeff replied. "I'll contact the hospital and make sure that they will have an ambulance waiting at the airport for us."

"Is he still unconscious?" Scott asked even though he was pretty sure that he already knew the answer.

"I'm sorry Scott." Jeff replied. "There's been no change."

Scott's jaw clenched in anger. "Okay Dad, keep me informed, please." He said.

"I will." Jeff said, as the comm. link was turned off. He sighed in frustration. He hated the feeling of helplessness that he was experiencing. He sat next to John and did something that he rarely did. He began to pray.

About thirty minutes into the flight, Brains came and double checked John's vital signs and the IV drip.

"How's he doing?" Jeff asked quietly.

"H-h-his vital signs have remained st-st-stable." Brains answered.

Jeff sighed heavily, he had hoped for more encouraging news.

Sensing what his friend was thinking, Brains continued. "The f-fact that he is not g-g-getting worse really is a g-g-good thing."

"But I would feel better if he woke up." Jeff said.

"I know." Brains replied. "B-b-but we just do what we c-c-can."

Jeff just nodded and the two of them fell into an uneasy silence. Brains continued to monitor John's condition throughout the flight. Time seemed to crawl for Jeff. He kept checking his watch. First it read, fifty minutes into the flight, then an hour and eight minutes, then an hour and twenty-two minute, then an hour and thirty-five minutes. Jeff sighed. It had only been an hour and thirty-five minutes since they had left the Island. Could time crawl any slower.

Brains checked John's vitals again. Something new caught his attention. "Hmm…I w-w-wonder…" He muttered under his breath.

Jeff, though, heard him. "What? What's wrong?" He demanded.

Before Brains had a chance to respond, John quietly moaned. Jeff was instantly on his feet next to the bed. Being careful of John's injuries, Jeff gently placed one hand on John's chest and the other hand on the top of his head. "John, can you hear me?" Jeff asked.

John began to move his head back and forth as his moans increased. Jeff continued to talk soothingly to his son. "It's okay John. We have you. Try to stay as still as possible."

Finally the moment that Jeff had been praying for happened. John spoke. It was quiet and breathy, but it was still a conscious vocalized thought. "Dad…Dad is that you?"

A smile of relief came to Jeff's face. "Yes, son, it's me. I'm right here for you."

When John spoke again, it was like a plaintive cry of a child. "It hurts, Dad. It hurts really bad."

Jeff gently ran his hand through John's hair. "I know son. I know."

"What…what happened?" John asked. "Where am I?"

Jeff continued to speak as comfortingly as possible. "You're in Tracy Four. We are taking you to the hospital. Apparently a monitor on Five blew up in your face."

His dad's statement finally clicked into place something that had been bothering John since he woke up. Between the pain he was feeling and the disorientation that plagued him, he just realized that he could not see. John began to panic. "Dad? I can't see, Dad! What's wrong with me? Help me Dad! Please, help me!"

Jeff became concerned when John became agitated. "John, calm down!" He ordered. Years of training brought an instinctive response to the authoritative command. John took several deep breaths in an effort to calm himself. Jeff could see that John was fighting to control his fears. He tried to dispel those fears.

"Nothing is wrong." Jeff said. "When the monitor blew, it imbedded fragments in your face, including your eyelids. Brains bandaged your eyes to prevent any further damage."

John started to nod but stopped short. The increase of movement also increased John's pain. He began to shake with emotion along with the pain. "Will I be blind?" He asked.

"Of course not." Jeff said, praying that he sounded confident. "An ophthalmologist will remove that glass fragments from the eye area and you will be good to go."

"How can you be sure?" John questioned. "What if some fragments got in my eye?"

Jeff tried to re-assure his son. "Don't worry about that right now. Why don't you try to rest? We'll be at the hospital soon."

"Okay, Dad." John replied. "Is there any chance of getting something for the pain?"

Brains answered for Jeff. "I'm s-s-sorry John, but until we d-d-determine the extent of your h-h-head injury, we can't administer any p-p-pain medication."

John gave a weak smile. "Brains…I didn't know you were here. What's your diagnosis?"

Brains gave Jeff a nervous look. "W-well, your burns should h-h-heal completely as l-long as you don't c-c-contract an infection. The f-f-fact that you are awake and t-t-talking makes me b-believe that your head injury is n-n-not as s-serious as first thought. However I am not an eye s-sp-specialist. I would n-not want to make pr-predictions on that injury."

"Always the diplomat, aren't you Brains?" John said.

"I'm n-n-not sure that I un-un-understand." Brains replied.

John gave out a small laugh. "When you don't want to answer something, you somehow talk you way out of it."

Brains flushed at that statement. "I just m-m-meant…"

John interrupted him. "Never mind Brains. I think I have a grasp of the situation. No pain meds. So I guess it's mind over matter, huh."

"Just try to relax as much as possible." Jeff said. "Keep your breathing even, and try to think of something other than the pain."

John started to nod his head, but stopped as more pain lanced through his head. "Ungh…okay…not the smartest thing to do."

Jeff ran his fingers through John's hair again. "Okay, no more talking. It's time for you to get some rest."

John gave a deep sigh. "Okay, Dad, if you say so."

It took almost ten minutes before John's breathing fell into a rhythmic pattern of sleep.

Jeff keyed the comm. to Scott. "Scott, I wanted to let you know that John was awake for a few minutes."

"John's awake?" Scott asked. "Can I talk to him?"

"I'm sorry Scott." Jeff explained. "He was only awake for a few minutes. He was in a lot of pain. So it really is better for him that he went back to sleep."

"Okay Dad," Scott said. "Besides we will be landing at the Sydney airport in roughly fifteen minutes. I've already been in contact with the control tower. They are going to give us immediate landing clearance because of the medical emergency. Plus they told me that a medical team from the hospital is already there waiting with a medical helijet to transport John immediately to the hospital."

"That's good." Jeff replied. "I'm glad that they are on the ball."

Scott smirked a bit. "Face it Dad. There's not many places left on earth that the name 'Jeff Tracy' doesn't get people jumping."

Jeff could hear the amusement in Scott's voice and smiled a bit himself. "At a time like this, I'll take it."

"We're coming up on the Sydney airport, so you and Brains need to get yourselves strapped in." Scott said. "I'll see you after we land."

Scott then keyed the radio to the Sydney Airport control tower. "Sydney Airport, this is Tracy Four requesting final emergency landing clearance."

The controller's voice responded. "This is the Sydney Airport, we read you Tracy Four. You are clear to land on runway eighteen. That's runway one-eight. Taxi to the north end of the runway where the hospital's helijet will meet you. Then you may proceed to private hanger number three. We hope your injured man will be okay."

Scott nodded his head even though the controller couldn't see him. "Thank you Sydney Airport. I hope so too. I am beginning my landing procedures. Tracy Four out."

Despite the tense situation, Scott made a perfect landing. Scott steered the plane toward the far end of the runway, where he saw a helijet just coming in to land. As he got closer, he applied the brakes and the plane came to a stop. By the time Scott had unbuckled himself and made his way back to the passenger compartment, Jeff had opened the door. Scott could see the medical team running across the tarmac.

The first person who entered the plane reached out and shook Jeff's hand. "I'm Dr. Michael Raymond. What can you tell me about the accident?"

Jeff led the doctor to where John was, as he quickly explained the "security" version of the accident. Dr. Raymond did a quick examination of John, and then he began to give orders to his colleagues. "Okay, let's get him onto our stretcher and loaded on the helijet." Turning to Jeff, he continued. "We can take one person in the helijet with us."

Jeff nodded. "I'll go with him." Turning to Scott, he said. "You and Brains can get a car and then meet us at the hospital."

Scott nodded his head. He almost responded with the standard "F-A-B" but instead said, "Okay Dad, we'll get there as quickly as we can."

Scott stood at the open door and watched as the medical team crossed the tarmac and loaded his injured brother into the helijet. It wasn't until after the helijet took off that he closed the door to the plane and headed back to the cockpit. He followed the tower's earlier instructions and taxied the plane to the private hanger. Once Scott had parked the plane and locked it down, he and Brains took the tram from that hanger to the main hanger. They were able to rent a vehicle easily. Again the Tracy name broke through the normal obstacles that arise when a person tries to rent a car at a moments' notice.

By the time that Scott and Brains drove to the hospital, almost forty-five minutes had passed since John had been air-lifted to the hospital. Entering the emergency department, they found Jeff in the far corner of the waiting room.

"Have you heard anything?" Scott asked.

Jeff shook his head. "No, as soon as we got here, John was taken into one of the exam rooms, and I was told to wait here. I haven't heard anything."

"Did you check at the desk?" Scott pressed. "Maybe the doctor just didn't know where to find you."

Jeff nodded. "I asked once at the desk, but I was basically told by the receptionist to sit down and 'someone' would get to me 'sometime', and not to bother him anymore." He said a bit disgustedly.

"What?" Scott asked incredulously. "How dare he treat you like that? How dare he treat anyone like that? People waiting for word on an injured family member or friend need understanding and compassion not contempt. Do you know who you talked to? I'm going to file a complaint." Scott headed toward the door, but before he got across the room, the door opened to reveal a nurse.

"Mr. Tracy?" She called.

Jeff quickly rose to his feet. "I'm Jeff Tracy."

The nurse nodded. "Drs. Raymond and Winter are ready to speak to you. If you would follow me please." She then turned smartly on her heels and headed back down the hall. Jeff, Scott and Brains followed behind her. When they reached the conference room, she gave Jeff a questioning glance when she saw Scott and Brains.

Reading the question on her face, Jeff just simply said. "My other sons." He wasn't about to argue "family only" policies when it pertained to Brains.

Nodding her head, she opened the door to the conference room. "Wait here, please. The doctors will be here in a moment."

The trio sat in relative silence with the exception of Scott nervously drumming his fingers on the small table that sat next to his chair. Jeff was about to say something when the door opened and Dr. Raymond entered along with a young looking woman.

Dr. Raymond reached his hand out to shake Jeff's hand again. "Mr. Tracy, I would like to introduce you to Dr. Mozelle Winter. She is the ophthalmologist who is handling your son's case."

Dr. Winter shook Jeff's hand with a curt nod. "Mr. Tracy" she said.

"Jeff…please call me Jeff." He said. Pointing toward Scott, he continued. "This is my oldest son, Scott, and this is our medical advisor, Brains. Please, can you tell me, how is my son?"

"We would like to go over some of the details of the accident first just to make sure we haven't missed anything." Dr. Raymond began.

Jeff shot Scott a nervous glance, but nodded his head. "Anything to help John." He said.

"Okay," Dr. Raymond said. "According to the file, it says that a computer monitor blew up in his face. Is that right?"

Jeff nodded. "We found him lying on the floor in front of the blown monitor."

"Well, from the tests that we have run, we have determined that he has suffered a concussion. Do you know if he hit his head on anything when he fell?" Dr. Raymond questioned.

Jeff shook his head. "No, he fell away from the desk and there was nothing else for him to hit. He must have gotten the concussion by hitting his head on the floor."

Dr. Raymond nodded his head. "That's probably it. Was he conscious at all after the accident? Do you know?"

Jeff nodded. "He came to for a few minutes in the plane on our way here. He was disoriented. I had to explain to him what had happened. It even took him a while to realize that he couldn't see."

"What?!!" Scott exclaimed. "You didn't tell me that."

"I didn't want to worry you." Jeff replied. "Anyways, when he did realize it, he panicked. That's not John. He is usually very level headed."

"That's not unusual for someone who has suffered a head injury." Dr. Raymond said.

Jeff nodded and continued. "Well, it scared me. I'm not used to seeing him like that. We were able to calm him down. I told him to try to get some rest. Eventually, he either fell asleep or passed out. I'm not sure which."

"Do you know how long it was from the time of the accident until you found him?" Dr. Winter finally joined in the conversation.

Jeff shook his head. "No, we don't. It could have been a few minutes or it could have been a couple of hours." It was a total lie, but Jeff couldn't explain that John had lain up on Thunderbird Five for over an hour before help arrived.

"You didn't hear the monitor explode?" Dr. Winter asked accusingly.

Jeff bristled at her tone. He gave her a hard stare as he spoke. "All the bedrooms are soundproof. At the time that the house was being built, I thought it would give the boys an added measure of privacy. John had gone to his room to do some work. I don't make it a habit to invade their privacy, so we didn't have any idea that something could be wrong until he didn't show up for a tennis match with his brother. That's when we found him."

Dr. Winter nodded as she made notes on a chart, presumably John's. "I only have one more question. Did anyone raise his eyelids to check his eyes prior to transporting him to the hospital?"

Jeff shook his head, but Brains answered before Jeff could speak. "I d-d-did the medical examination. He was sh-sh-showing s-signs of shock so I w-w-wanted to get him to emergency tr-tr-treatment as soon as p-p-possible. Also I was un-un-uncomfortable ex-examining his eyes. It w-w-was outside my area of t-tr-training. So I just b-b-bandaged them carefully and we b-b-brought him here to see a specialist."

Dr. Winter nodded again this time towards Dr. Raymond. "I think I have everything I need. I'm going to head to the surgical theatre now."

Jeff and Scott both stiffened at the mention of surgery, but neither said anything.

Once Dr. Winter left the room, Dr. Raymond began. "I need to apologize for my colleague. She really isn't that gruff. She tends to sound that way when she is concentrating."

Jeff waved off the apology. "I really don't care about her attitude. I just want to know how my son is."

Dr. Raymond nodded. "I understand. At this moment, John is being prepped for surgery. Dr. Winter took some scans of his eyes and had determined that there are a few fragments in the eyes themselves. Removing them in the surgical theatre will help minimize potential damage."

"Will there be permanent damage?" Scott questioned.

"It really is too early to tell at this point in time." Dr. Raymond responded. "But Dr. Winter is the best ophthalmologist on staff. She's the one who I would trust my vision to."

"What about his other injuries?" Jeff asked.

Dr. Raymond consulted his chart. "Well, in that regards, things are looking good. Your medical advisor, Brains was it?" Jeff nodded at the questioning tone. "Well he handled things very well. The burns were first and second degree. We have applied burn ointment and sterile bandages. Barring any complications, they should heal nicely on their own. As I said earlier, he did suffer a moderate concussion, probably from hitting his head on the floor when he fell. He did regain consciousness for a few minutes when we were examining him. That in itself is a good sign. Unfortunately, with the exception of knowing his name, he was disoriented. It is probably just a result of the concussion."

"D-d-did you check for a skull f-fr-fracture?" Brains interrupted.

Dr. Raymond nodded. "Yes, we did do a scan. There was no skull fracture evident; neither were there any signs of intracranial bleeding or pressure. We'll continue to monitor it and re-run the scan if we don't see any improvement."

"W-w-will the concussion c-c-complicate the s-surgery?" Brains asked.

Dr. Raymond gave Brains an uneasy look. "It could, but I don't want you to worry about it. Both Dr. Winter and the anesthesiologist, Dr. Bates, are aware of the situation. They will monitor John carefully for any signs of trouble. I have full confidence in the surgical team. I don't anticipate any problems."

Jeff nodded. "How long before we can see him?"

"I don't know for sure." Dr. Raymond said. "It depends on how long the surgery takes. He will then be in recovery for at least a half hour, maybe an hour. You'll be able to see him once he is settled in his room. Are there any other questions?"

Jeff looked at Scott and Brains who both shook their head. "Not at this time. Will you be around if we do think of any questions?"

Dr. Raymond checked his watch. "I'll be on duty for another three and a half hours. If you think of anything else during that time, have me paged." Standing up, he reached his hand out to shake Jeff's hand. "Mr. Tracy, it has been my privilege to meet you. I just wish the circumstances had been better."

Jeff shook the doctor's hand. "I do too. I'm sure that we will see each other around the hospital. Thank you for all your help."

The doctor headed for the door. "I'll send a nurse in here to take you up to the surgical waiting room, and I'll check back in with you before I go off duty." The doctor shut the door behind him when he left.

The three of them sat quietly in the room, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Jeff stood up. "I need to call home and let them know what is going on."

"I can do it, if you want." Scott offered.

Jeff shook his head. "No, I'll do it. I just need to find a phone."

Scott was confused. "Why not just use your watch?"

"Because we need to act just like any other family in a medical crisis," Jeff explained. "It could raise questions if people don't see us keeping the others informed of the situation."

Scott nodded. "Okay."

Just then the door opened and the nurse entered. "Mr. Tracy, I'm here to take you to a surgical waiting area."

"Thank you nurse," Jeff said. "But first I need a phone. I have to inform my other sons of John's condition."

"Of course," the nurse replied. "Dr. Winter has requested that you be put in one of the private waiting rooms. She doesn't want you to be bothered if someone happens to recognize you. There will be a phone in the room that you can use."

Jeff nodded. "Thank you, I really appreciate the thoughtfulness."

The nurse led them down the hall and on to the elevator. "It was Dr. Winter's idea. I guess she figured that if she recognized you that others would recognize you too."

Jeff was a bit surprised. Dr. Winter had shown no signs that she had recognized him. "I'll have to thank her when I see her." He said.

The nurse had led them down the hall. She knocked quietly on a door and opened it. Turning to the Tracys, she said. "Just checking. Sometimes people are put in the private rooms and we are not told." Holding the door open, she allowed the Tracys to enter the room. She gave them some basic information. "The phone is on the table. There are directions on the phone as to how to get an outside line. If you have problems, you can reach the hospital switchboard by dialing double zero. You can reach the nurse's station on this floor by dialing 4-0-4-0, if you have any questions. The TV is at your disposal. Feel free to watch anything that's on." She pointed down the hall. "The restrooms are about halfway down the hall this way. Then at the far end of the hall are some vending machines. There is coffee, soda, water, and assorted fruit juices to drink. There are machines with candy, chips, sandwiches, and fruit to eat. There is also a full service cafeteria in the basement, but if you go there, please let the nurse's station know so that we know where to find you." Taking a deep breath, she said. "I think that's about it. Do you have any questions?"

Jeff shook his head. "No, I think you covered everything. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I hope everything works out for your son." She gave Jeff a comforting smile as she left the room.

Scott immediately began to pace the room. Jeff rolled his eyes. "That's going to get old really fast, Scott." Jeff said.

"Huh? What?" Scott asked.

"Your pacing…it's going to get old." Jeff replied.

"Well I can't help it." Scott complained. "I'm just so worried."

"Well, why don't you head down the hall and get us some coffee and maybe something to eat?" Jeff suggested.

"But Dad…" Scott began to argue.

Brains interrupted. "I'll c-c-come help you, b-but lets skip the v-v-vending machines and go to the c-cafeteria. We can bring the f-f-food back up here."

Scott sighed loudly. "Ok, fine, we'll be right back."

Jeff gave Brains a grateful look as he and Scott left the room. He then turned his attention to the phone. He dialed his home number and Alan answered it almost immediately. "Hello, Alan."

* * *

Author's Note: Okay folks, here we are again. We have brought the time lines between the two groups back into cinq. We hope that you all enjoyed this chapter. We kept our promise that we would let you know about John. Well...at least some about John. His poor eyes, though, are still in the dark. (Yes, the PUN was intended.)

Anyways, we want to thank everyone for all there reviews. We hope to hear more from you all. They really are a great encouragement to us.


	6. Waiting

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 6 – Waiting

Alan answered the phone when Jeff called. "Hi, Dad," he said trying to hide the trembling in his voice.

"Hello Alan," Jeff replied. "Are Virgil and Gordon there with you?"

Alan shook his head. Because they were on the public phone system, Alan began to speak in code, just to be safe. "They are out on 'family business'."

"What?" Jeff questioned. "Where'd they go? Do they need any help? I can send Scott and Brains out to…"

"Dad, relax." Alan interrupted. "They went to Argentina but everything is under control. I just talked to Virgil a few minutes ago. He got everything worked out. He told me that he needed to make one more stop and then they would be on their way home."

Jeff nodded. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I just don't like you handling the business without me."

"Dad, please," Alan said in exasperation. "What about John? Is he okay? What did the doctor say?"

"You're right. Again, I'm sorry." Jeff said. "The doctors have checked him out. They have treated his burns and he does have a concussion from when he hit his head on the floor. Unfortunately, they determined that he does have some glass fragments in his eyes, and they wanted to remove them surgically."

"So, he's in surgery right now?" Alan asked. "How long will it take? Will there be any permanent damage?"

"Yes, he is in surgery right now." Jeff answered. "I don't know for how long. The ophthalmologist had him up in surgery before we knew it. It will probably be a couple of hours. Dr. Raymond said that he will be in recovery for probably an hour. We won't know about permanent damage until after he is out of surgery. Any more questions?"

Alan almost asked: "Do you blame me?", but he decided that he really didn't want to know. He shook his head. "No, I can't think of anything right now. Virgil and Gordon might have some when they get home. Is there a number that they can call?"

Jeff looked over the phone. "I don't see one. Besides I don't know how long we'll be in this room. So if they have questions, they can send me a page and I will call them back."

"Okay, Dad, I'll let them know that." Alan said. "I promised them that I would call them as soon as I heard from you."

"Okay, Alan," Jeff said. "And once your brothers get home, I want you guys to get some rest. It's been a busy day not to mention the emotional upheaval."

Alan shook his head. He swallowed hard to fight off the emotions that were threatening to spill out. "You'd better tell them that. I don't think they would take it very well from me."

Jeff's concern for John blinded him to Alan's emotional distress. "Okay, Alan. Have Virgil page me when he gets home. I'll talk to you later." He then disconnected the call.

Jeff sat back in his chair to wait for Scott and Brains to return. He checked the time on his watch. He knew that the next few hours were going to crawl by. It was another fifteen minutes before Scott and Brains returned with some food and large pot of coffee.

"How did Virg take the news?" Scott asked as he handed his dad a cup of coffee.

Jeff took a drink of the coffee. "Virgil wasn't home. He and Gordon went to Argentina. Alan was expecting them home soon though."

"So is Alan going to tell them? Or are you going to call back later?" Scott pressed.

"Well, Alan said that he promised Virgil and Gordon that he would call them as soon as he had any information." Jeff explained. "But I will call back later and talk to them personally."

"Well, I hope that Alan 'remembers'." Scott mumbled.

"Now Scott," Jeff admonished. "We'll deal with the 'Alan' issue later."

Scott nodded. "Okay, how long has it been anyways?"

"It really hasn't been that long." Jeff said, glancing at his watch. "We just have to be patient. I'd much rather wait while they make sure that they're doing the surgery carefully than to risk them making a mistake by hurrying."

Scott nodded. "So would I, but patience was never one of my strong suits."

Despite the situation, Jeff laughed. "Well, you can blame the 'old man' for that. Impatience is definitely a Tracy trait."

Scott nodded and laughed lightly, but he didn't say anything. Jeff, Scott and Brains fell into a nervous silence, each lost in his own thoughts.

* * *

Alan disconnected the call from his dad. He sat back in the chair and took a deep breath. He needed to call Virgil and Gordon to let them know about John's condition, but he also knew that he needed to be in control of his emotions. His older brothers would not appreciate it if he broke down on them. It took a few minutes until he felt 'in control' again. He keyed the comm. to connect him with Virgil. When Virgil's face appeared on the screen, Alan dived right in before he lost his courage. "I finally have news about…" 

To Alan's surprise, Virgil cut him off. "Just a minute, Alan. We are in the middle of the victim transfers. We'll contact you when we are back in Thunderbird Two."

Alan nodded. "F-A-B. I'll be waiting." Alan blew out an exasperated breath. Now he had to wait again. He began to pace the lounge. He had to hold himself together. He knew that when Virgil called back they would want answers immediately with no time for him to pull himself together.

Again, Alan lost track of time as he paced back and forth. He jumped when the eyes on Virgil's portrait began to blink and Virgil's voice came from the speaker. "Thunderbird Two to Base, come in Alan." Alan quickly connected to comm. unit.

"How's John?" Virgil demanded.

Alan almost lost it right then and there, but he quickly pulled himself together. "He's in surgery. Dad said that John did have glass fragments in his eyes. The doctors wanted to remove them in the OR to try to minimize potential damage."

Virgil nodded his head. "How about his head or the burns?"

"According to dad," Alan explained. "The doctors have treated both the burns and the head injury. They don't foresee any problems with them."

"Finally, some good news." Alan heard Gordon's voice come from off camera.

Virgil turned his head toward the voice. "You can say that again, Gords."

Alan burned at the "perceived" hidden accusation. He was drawn back to the conversation when he realized that Virgil was talking to him.

"Well, Alan," Virgil said impatiently.

"Huh, I'm sorry. I got distracted for a moment." Alan said.

Virgil gave out a snort of disgust. "Isn't that what started all this trouble? I would have thought that you'd have learned your lesson."

Alan's anger began to bubble over. "Look Virgil, I know I made a mistake, a **huge, life-altering** mistake, but I'm getting real tired of you guys insinuating that I…"

Virgil exploded at Alan. "You selfish, self-centered, egotistical jerk. You almost killed John, and then you expect **us** to feel sorry for **you**. How dare you? How **dare** you!"

"How dare **I**?" Alan snapped back. "You guys act like I **purposely** set out to hurt John. Do you really think so little of me that you could believe that I would do such a thing?"

"I don't know what to believe." Virgil said sarcastically. "I would have thought that you would have been more concerned about John than your own sorry skin, especially since you **are** responsible."

"Hey guys," Gordon broke in. "Fighting between ourselves isn't going to help John. You're only going to say something in the heat of the argument that you will regret later."

Virgil snapped at Gordon. "I haven't said anything that I'm going to regret. I can't and **won't** speak for Alan."

"Well, I guess I should be grateful for that." Alan snapped. "Since none of you know how I'm feeling right now, and none of you will because it's 'just Alan' and he doesn't matter."

"Alan, that's not true." Gordon protested. "Things are just really messed up right now. None of us have had the time to come to grips with what has happened."

"Well, you can have all the time you want." Alan replied. "I'm not stupid enough to think that it will change anything. I'm going to have Tin-Tin handle the landing procedures when you get home. Dad said that you guys can page him and he will call you back and explain everything about John's condition. After all, I can't be trusted." Alan disconnected the comm. and headed out of the lounge.

* * *

He left the villa and headed toward a secluded part of the beach. He had reached the bottom step leading toward the beach when he remembered that he needed to talk to Tin-Tin. Disgustedly he turned and headed back into the house. He found Tin-Tin in the kitchen talking with her father. He happened to overhear part of their conversation.

"You cannot change what has happened, my daughter." Kyrano said.

"I don't want to be angry with Alan." Tin-Tin replied. "But at times like this I just want to grab him and shake some sense into him."

Alan sagged against the backside of the door. "She blames me too." He thought. "Not Tin-Tin. I thought she understood earlier. She said that she wanted to help. It was all a lie! I have no one to lean on."

"I understand your feelings Tin-Tin," Kyrano said. "But you cannot change Mr. Alan. We are all responsible for our own actions."

"I know Father, but…" Tin-Tin stopped when she saw Alan enter the kitchen. She could tell that he was even more upset than earlier. "Alan, what's wrong? Did you get bad news about John?"

Alan shook his head. "I…no…uhm…" He stammered. "Pull it together." Alan commanded himself. Looking at Tin-Tin, he said. "I need you to handle Thunderbird Two's landing when they get home."

Tin-Tin moved to Alan's side. She gently laid her hand on his arm. "Sure Alan, I can do that. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Alan couldn't believe his ears. How stupid did she think he was? Just a minute ago, she was telling her dad how she blamed him and now she's trying to act kind and understanding. Taking a step back from Tin-Tin, he shook his head. "No, I'll talk to you later."

"Where are you going, Alan?" Tin-Tin asked.

"Out" Alan said simply as he headed toward the door.

"Please Alan," Tin-Tin implored. "Don't shut me out. I want to help."

Alan paused for a moment. Without turning around he quietly said. "You can't help me. No one can." He left before Tin-Tin could say anything else.

Once Alan left the room, Tin-Tin turned to her father. She threw up her hands in exasperation. "See! See what I mean." She said. "I know he's hurting. I can see it every time I look at him. It's written all over his face. I want to help him, but he just shuts me out. Why won't he let me help?"

"I cannot answer that daughter." Kyrano replied. "I can sense that Mr. Alan is being overwhelmed by many emotions. Perhaps he is fearful of allowing anyone to endure what he cannot control."

Tin-Tin nodded. "You're probably right. I know that all the Tracys seem to feel that showing emotion is a sign of weakness. It is just so frustrating watching him try to deal with this alone."

"I understand your frustration." Kyrano said simply. "Be patient, my daughter. The one thing that I do know is that when Mr. Alan is ready to talk, he will seek you out."

Tin-Tin gave Kyrano a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you Father for listening to me. I know that I can always count on you for sage advice. I need to head to the lounge. Alan didn't say when Thunderbird Two would be returning. It could be anytime."

Kyrano nodded. "Peace go with you Tin-Tin. I will prepare a light meal in the interim."

"I'll let the guys know when they get home." Tin-Tin said as she left the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later Tin-Tin sat at the desk when Virgil called in. "Thunderbird Two to base."

Tin-Tin keyed the comm., and Virgil's portrait was replaced with the live feed. "This is International Rescue Base. Go ahead Virgil."

"Hey, Tin-Tin," Virgil said. "We are on final approach. Requesting landing clearance."

Tin-Tin double checked the scanners. "You're clear to land. I'll see you in a few minutes."

"F-A-B, Tin-Tin" Virgil replied and ended the communication.

* * *

It took Gordon and Virgil twenty minutes to do the post-flight checks and to do a quick clean-up of Thunderbird Two and the Excavator. They entered the lounge and found Tin-Tin still sitting behind the desk. 

"Hey, Tin-Tin." Virgil said. "Have we heard anymore from dad?"

Tin-Tin looked at Virgil in confusion. "I was unaware that you had heard anything from your dad since he left."

Virgil just shook his head. "It figures. Dad talked to Alan. Apparently John is in surgery to remove some glass fragments from his eyes." Turning to Gordon, he continued. "I guess we should be grateful that he remembered to call us. Right, Gords?"

Gordon avoided eye contact with Virgil. He really didn't want to take sides against Alan, but Alan was making it difficult. "I guess." Gordon said. "Let's page dad and find out more about John's condition."

Tin-Tin stood up from the desk to allow Virgil access to the phone system. "My father was preparing a meal for you when he heard you were on your way home."

Virgil sat down at the desk. "Okay Tin-Tin, could you let him know that we will be down to the kitchen as soon as we talk to dad."

Tin-Tin nodded as she headed toward the door. "Sure, Virgil, I'll wait there for you too. That way you can fill us both in on John's condition." She then left the room.

Virgil pressed some buttons on the phone. Then he sat back and looked at Gordon. "Well, I've paged him. Now we wait."

Gordon nodded his head but closed his eyes and slouched down in his chair. He let his mind wander. He couldn't believe how awry this day had become. He knew that Alan had made a mistake. That was obvious. He also knew that Alan could be reckless and irresponsible at times, but not on the job. Alan, like all the Tracys, knew how dangerous their jobs were. He could also see how much this was eating Alan up, even if he didn't want to admit it. He was also aware that his older brothers' attitudes were not helping the situation. He knew that if Scott and Virgil were totally honest with themselves that they would admit that it was just a human mistake. Right now, they were just reacting to the situation instead of thinking it through.

Gordon's thoughts were interrupted by an incoming call. Knowing that it would be his dad, he sat up in the chair and faced the monitor on his father's desk.

Virgil connected the call and when his father's face appeared, he said. "Hey, Dad, how's John?"

"Well, he's still in surgery." Jeff said. "I'll know more once he gets out."

"What about his other injuries?" Gordon asked. He didn't know why he asked. Alan had already told them, but he still wanted to hear it from his dad. Maybe he wanted reassurance from his dad.

Jeff began to explain again. "According to the doctors, they have treated his burns and baring any complications, they should heal completely. They're keeping a careful eye on his concussion, especially since they took him to surgery."

Gordon nodded, but it was Virgil who spoke next. "Is there anything else that we should be aware of?"

Jeff shook his head. "No, not right now. I'll let you guys know as soon as John is out of surgery. In the mean time, I want you three to get some rest."

"But Dad…" Virgil started to argue.

"No, Virgil," Jeff stopped his son. "You have been out three times in less than twelve hours. I don't want you to burn yourselves out. If I have to, I'll make it an order, but I hope that you will see the sensibleness of my suggestion to rest."

Virgil nodded his head. "Okay, Dad. Kyrano has some food ready for us. We'll rest after we finish eating."

Jeff nodded. "That's a good idea. Enjoy your meal. I'll talk to you guys later. Remember to get some rest."

The call was disconnected. Virgil and Gordon looked at each other in silence for a moment. Gordon was the first to break the silence. "Well, it sounds like the doctors are all on top of things."

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, it does. The Sydney Hospital was obviously the best choice."

Gordon dared to press on. "It also sounds like Alan told us everything about John's condition."

Anger flashed in Virgil's eyes. "I am **not** about to argue with you about Alan. What he did was careless and irresponsible. He's just plain lucky that it wasn't deadly."

"Come on Virg." Gordon did argue back. "It wasn't intentional. He made a mistake. He got sidetracked by the rescue, and he forgot. That doesn't make him irresponsible. It makes him **human**. Think about it honestly, Virgil. There are things in your past that you did or 'forgot' to do that could have had dire consequences. I know that I have. Face it. We've just been lucky. This time, Alan wasn't lucky, and John has paid the price. You blame Alan, and I will agree that he needs to be held responsible for his actions, but only to a point. You can't punish someone for a human mistake like it was an intentional attack."

Virgil knew that what Gordon said made sense, but he wasn't ready to let go of his anger yet. Virgil growled at his younger brother. "I said that I wasn't going to argue about this, and I won't. Let's go eat and then get some rest like Dad said."

Gordon nodded. "Okay, but at least think about what I said."

Virgil just stalked out of the room without answering his brother.

Gordon stayed behind and stared out the lounge windows at the ocean crashing against the beach below. He wished that he could get through to his brother, but he was never very good at that. John was always much better at getting their brothers to talk about their feelings. They normally turned to John…the quiet Tracy, their confidant, and now, their injured brother. Gordon sighed. Maybe things would look better after they got some rest. He then headed to the kitchen.

When Gordon reached the kitchen, Virgil was there explaining John's condition to Tin-Tin and Kyrano in between bites of food. Gordon glanced around the kitchen. "Where's Alan?" He asked.

Virgil disgustedly said. "Who knows? Probably off sulking somewhere."

Tin-Tin gave Gordon a bewildered look. "I haven't seen him since he asked me to handle the landing for you guys."

Gordon nodded but keyed his watch. After a few seconds, Alan's face appeared. "Yes, Gordon?" He asked. "Is there word on John?"

"Just what you already know." Gordon said. "Where are you?"

Alan ignored the question. "Is there a rescue? Am I needed?"

Gordon shook his head. "No, but Kyrano has dinner ready, so you need to come in. Dad said that he wants us to eat and then get some rest."

Alan began to argue. "I'm not really hungry…"

Virgil grabbed Gordon's arm. He was going to nip this argument in the bud. "That wasn't a suggestion, Alan. Dad made it an order. So I'm telling you to get your butt in here and eat. **NOW!**"

Alan flushed with anger, but responded as respectively as possible. "F-A-B."

* * *

Author's Note: Man, oh man, how much more will Alan be able to handle? Now he even thinks that Tin-Tin is against him. At least he stood up a little bit against his brothers. Will he keep it up? Or will he stay quiet out of guilt? Keep reading. The next chapter will be up next weekend. 

Again, we've said it before, but we will say it again. A BIG Thank you goes out to everyone who reviewed. We enjoy them so much. Please, keep them up.


	7. Surgery Over

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 7 – Surgery Over

Scott was pacing restlessly in the waiting room. It had been about two hours and forty minutes since John had been taken to surgery, but a nurse had notified them a while ago that the surgery had been completed, and that John had been taken to recovery.

"What is taking so long?" Scott complained. "That nurse said that the doctor would be 'in shortly' to talk to us. That was an hour ago."

"Ac-Actually, it has only been f-f-forty-five minutes." Brains corrected.

Scott glared at Brains. "Close enough."

Jeff broke into the conversation. "Scott, you need to calm down. I'm sure that she will be here as soon as possible."

"You don't think that something has happened, do you? That something is wrong? Maybe he took a turn after he got to recovery. What if the head injury was worse than expected and is causing problems?" Scott asked not bothering to try to hide his worry.

"No, I don't think anything is wrong. The doctor probably got sidetracked with another patient." Jeff said. He wanted to get Scott's mind off of the worst case scenarios that seemed to be flooding it at the moment. Holding his coffee cup out to Scott, he asked. "How about pouring me another cup of coffee?"

Scott stopped pacing and stared out the window overlooking the parking lot. "The pot's empty." He said in a disinterested tone.

Jeff sighed and placed his cup back on the small table next to his chair. "Then how about going down to the vending machine and getting me a bottle of water and whatever kind of fruit juice they have?"

Scott knew that his dad was just giving him "busy" work. "What if the doctor comes in?" He asked.

"You're only going down the hall." Jeff replied. "You won't be gone that long."

Scott sighed heavily. "Fine, I'll go." Turning to Brains, he asked. "Do you want anything while I'm going?"

"I w-w-would appreciate some w-water." Brains answered.

"Okay, two waters and some juice." Scott mumbled as he headed out the door.

When the door closed, Jeff spoke to Brains. "I'm sorry about Scott's attitude."

Brains shook his head and interrupted. "There's n-n-no need to apologize. I am f-f-fully aware that he is w-w-worried about John. I w-will not take o-o-offense."

Jeff nodded. "You're a good friend to all of us. I know I don't say it that often, but I do mean it. We could never do what we do without you."

Brains face reddened at the praise. He had always felt uncomfortable accepting praise for something that came so easily for him. "Th-th-thank you, Mr. Tracy." He stammered. They fell into a companionable silence while they waited.

A few minutes later the door opened and Jeff assumed that it would be Scott returning, so he was startled when he heard a female voice say. "Mr. Tracy?"

Jeff looked up to see Dr. Winter standing in the doorway. He was immediately on his feet. He began to fire a rapid stream of questions at the doctor. "Dr. Winter, how is John? When can I see him? How did the surgery go? Will there be any permanent damage? When can I take him home? Will…"

The door flung open startling the group. From down the hall, Scott had seen Dr. Winter enter the room. He had run the rest of the way down the hall to rejoin his father. Once he opened the door, he began firing his own questions. "What's wrong? How's John? When can I see him?"

The doctor held up her hands to stave off more questions. "Please," she said. "Let's sit down and I will explain John's condition to you."

Jeff nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry for bombarding you with so many questions. It's just that we've been so worried." Motioning to one of the chairs, he said. "Please have a seat." Jeff then took the chair across from her while Scott took the chair next to Jeff.

Dr. Winter dived right into the explanation. "First I want to apologize for it taking me so long to get here. Unfortunately, I was called to the emergency room for a consultation. Now on to John's condition, the surgery took one hour and thirty-three minutes. I removed four fragments from John's left eye and six fragments from his right eye. I am cautiously optimistic that they should heal properly."

"What does that mean?" Scott demanded. "Cautiously optimistic?"

The doctor cleared her throat. "Well, most of the fragments were imbedded shallowly and should heal without any problems, but there were a couple fragments that were a little deeper which may or may not heal correctly."

"When will we know?" Jeff questioned. "Will any of the damage be permanent?"

"Well, his eyes will have to be bandaged for six weeks. Once they are off, I will be able to assess any residual damage. He may need additional treatment but I'm confident that over time he should regain almost all his range of vision." The doctor replied.

"When can we see him?" Jeff jumped to another question.

Dr. Winter leaned forward a bit and smiled. "Well, that's an easy question. I checked on him in recovery after the emergency room consultation. He had already woken up and was able to answer some questions."

"What kind of questions?" Scott asked worriedly.

Dr. Winter was taken aback slightly. That wasn't normally a question asked by family members. "Uhm, the usual questions that we ask to evaluate orientation: name, birth date, president's name, those kinds of things. He even remembered that his injuries were caused by a computer monitor blowing up."

Jeff felt a sense of relief. Since John was oriented now, Dr. Raymond's assessment of his head injury was correct. Scott, however, was concerned that John might have inadvertently mentioned the Thunderbirds. So he continued to ask questions.

"Anything else?" Scott pressed.

Now Dr. Winter was really confused. "No, is there something else that I should be aware of?"

Scott visibly relaxed but shook his head. "No, I was just afraid that his head injury would cause some confusion."

Dr. Winter thought that was strange but let it go. "Anyways, he should be being moved out of recovery shortly. Once he is settled in his room, a nurse will take you to him. You can visit for a short time, but please remember that he will still be groggy from the anesthetic and needs his rest."

"How long will he have to stay in the hospital?" Jeff asked.

"Barring any complications, it should only be two or three days." The doctor replied. "Any other questions?"

Scott, Jeff and Brains looked at each other, but Scott and Brains shook their heads. So Jeff addressed the doctor. "No, not at this time. Is there anything else we need to know?"

Dr. Winter took a deep breath. "Well, this is a hard topic to address. Once John is released from the hospital, he will need added help during his recovery time."

"Like what?" Scott asked.

"Well, the most important thing will be changing the bandages on a regular basis." The doctor explained. "But he will need help in many little ways, like coordinating his clothes or guiding him around unfamiliar places."

Scott shook his head. "I don't understand. Isn't that something most blind people do on their own?"

Dr. Winter nodded. "Yes, they do. But it is something that they have learned to do over time. For my patients that are unfortunately permanently blinded, I normally recommend a home that specializes in teaching 'life skills' for people who have suffered traumatic sensory losses. But since I truly believe that John will regain most, if not all, of his sight, I don't feel that is necessary. I'll have an occupational therapist come and work with him on the basics over the next couple of days, but he will probably still need help, especially in the first couple of weeks. Hopefully as time goes by, he will become more confident doing things on his own."

Jeff nodded. "Okay, that shouldn't be a problem. Between me and John's brothers, he should have all the help he needs."

Dr. Winter cleared her throat. "Yes, I can see that you're a very close family, but you need to understand that helping can be a two-edged sword."

"What do you mean?" Scott asked.

"For a self-sufficient person to suddenly need help," Dr. Winter began to explain. "Can be dis-heartening and lead to depression. Almost all of my parents have exhibited depression on some level, even if they are expected to make a full recovery."

"So how do we help John without pushing him over the edge?" Jeff asked.

"Help him with what he needs." Dr. Winter replied. "But don't smother him. If he can do things by himself, let him. Try to keep him involved in conversations and such. Treat him as normally as possible. If he needs to blow off steam, let him, but try not to let him wallow in self-pity. A positive attitude can be just as important in the healing process as medicine. In the same regards, a negative attitude can be detrimental to his recovery."

Jeff nodded. "We'll do what we can. John is a fighter, like all the Tracys. I can't see him giving in to depression."

Dr. Winter nodded. "I hope you're right. You do know your son better than I do. Anyways, we can go over all this again before John is released." Dr. Winter stood up and pulled a business card from her lab coat pocket and held it out towards Jeff. "If you come up with anymore questions, you can either have me paged here at the hospital or call my answering service, and I'll return your call as soon as possible."

Jeff stood up and took the card. He extended his hand towards the doctor. "Thank you, doctor…for everything."

The doctor shook Jeff's hand. "You're welcome Mr. Tracy. Although the circumstances were not the best, it was still a pleasure to meet you." Looking around at the other occupants of the room, she continued. "It was a pleasure to meet you all. If any of you have any questions, do not hesitate to call me." Heading toward the door, she said. "A nurse should be here shortly. I'm sure that I will see you again during the course of John's recovery. Goodbye." Dr. Winter then left the room.

Jeff, Scott and Brains sat in silence for a few moments. Finally Brains cleared his throat and said. "W-w-well, she seemed to be op-op-optimistic about John's r-recovery."

Scott shook his head. "She is 'cautiously' optimistic, but there could be problems." He stood up and began to pace. "I can't believe this is happening. John doesn't deserve this."

"Nobody deserves this." Jeff interrupted. "It was a computer malfunction, not a personal assault."

"But it could have been prevented." Scott snapped at his dad. "If Alan had just done his job…"

"I'll take care of Alan." Jeff asserted. "You need to get control of your anger. It's not going to help anything, and it certainly won't **change** anything. John needs to be our priority right now. Not Alan, not your anger.

"Are you trying to tell me that you're not angry with Alan?" Scott asked. "He is responsible for John's injuries. He could have killed him."

"All right," Jeff conceded. "When the accident first happened, I was angry with Alan."

"See," Scott said in disdain. "I knew…"

"**BUT**" Jeff interrupted. "Now that I have had time to think about it, my feelings have changed. I'm still angry at the situation, but I know that Alan didn't do this on purpose. He got distracted and forgot."

"How can you say that?" Scott retorted angrily. "He…"

"He is a human being, and he made a mistake." Jeff broke in. "But I know that he would not purposely endanger any of his brothers, any more than you would."

"Okay, fine," Scott argued. "So it wasn't on purpose, but it still doesn't change the fact that he was negligent."

"So was John." Jeff said.

"What?!" Scott exploded. "Now you're blaming John?"

Jeff tried to calmly explain to Scott. "Think about it. John was on duty for around two hours. Obviously that monitor had been acting up that whole time. So why didn't John notice it before it blew up?"

"Well, he…I…John…" Scott stumbled for an answer.

Jeff answered for him. "It's because he is human. He's not perfect. None of us are."

Scott seemed to deflate some. "So Alan is going to get away with this scot-free?" He asked.

"I didn't say that." Jeff said. "He will still have to answer for his mistake. Plus we will need to develop more safety procedures to avoid this ever happening again."

"I've b-b-been thinking about that." Brains said. "Once I g-g-get back to the is-island, I'll b-b-begin to work on the p-p-possible solutions."

Jeff nodded. "Thank you, Brains. I appreciate all the work that you do. We also need to repair the damages that the blown monitor has caused."

The three of the fell into silence again as they each got lost in their own thoughts. A few minutes later the door opened and a nurse entered. "Mr. Tracy?" She asked.

Jeff stood up. "I'm Jeff Tracy."

The nurse glanced at Scott and Brains. "You're son is now in his own room. If you will follow me, I will take you to him."

Scott and Brains were both instantly on their feet. "Great, let's go." Scott said.

The nurse gave Scott a questioning look. "And you are?" She asked.

Scott rolled his eyes. "I'm Scott Tracy, one of John's brothers." He said in a condescending tone.

"Very well," the nurse said. "Follow me please." She then left the room and headed down the hall with the men following.

It took them about two minutes to walk to John's room. The nurse stopped outside the door. "This is his room. Just remember that he just had surgery. He needs his rest. He is also on pain medication that will make him drowsy. So don't be alarmed if he dozes off on you. You can press the nurse's button if you have any questions, or if John needs anything."

Jeff nodded and said. "Thank you, nurse." As she walked away, Jeff quietly opened the door. His breath caught in his throat when he saw his son.

John looked so helpless as he lay in the hospital bed. He was hooked to a heart monitor that showed each beat of his heart as a blip on the screen. His respiration rate, oxygen saturation, and his blood pressure were displayed on another monitor. An IV line snaked from the bag on the pole to the injection site in his arm. John's hands were wrapped in white bandages. White bandages also encircled John's head covering his eyes. The lower portion of John's face was visible. Jeff could see the burns to John's face which stood out starkly against his pale skin.

Blinking back the tears that had filled his eyes, Jeff quickly crossed the room to his son's bedside. He pulled a chair up next to the bed and sat down. Gently he placed a hand on John's shoulder.

"John? Can you hear me, son?" Jeff asked quietly.

John turned his head slightly toward his dad's voice. "Dad, you're here." His voice was weak and unsteady.

Jeff gripped John's shoulder slightly in an effort to comfort his son. "Yeah, John, I'm right here."

Scott had started to follow his dad, but Brains grabbed his arm and stopped him for a moment. Brains quietly said. "M-m-maybe I should w-wait outside."

Scott looked at Brains in confusion. "Why?"

Brains looked at Jeff and John. "This sh-sh-should be a time for f-family. I don't w-w-want to intrude."

Scott slung his arm around Brains' shoulders and gave him a playful shake. "When are you going to understand that we think of you as family? Come on." He said as he pulled Brains into the room with him.

John could hear quiet voices talking through his muddled brain; he tried to place the voices. "Scott? Is that you?" He asked.

Scott moved closer to John's bed. "Yeah, it's me, little brother. How are you feeling?"

"Drowsy," John replied. "I feel like my brain is a big cotton ball. It's hard to think."

"You don't have to think." Jeff said. "Just relax and allow your body to heal. Are you in pain?"

"Nah, the drugs they are giving me are taking care of the pain." John said. "Everything seems fuzzy. Who else is here?"

"Just Brains." Jeff answered.

"Where's everyone else?" John asked. "What happened? Did anyone else get hurt?" John began to get upset.

"Calm down, John." Jeff replied. "They're fine. They're at home. We've kept them updated on your condition."

Turning his head back towards his dad, he asked. "Am I going to be blind?" A touch of fear shadowed his voice.

"Of course not." Jeff said. "You're eyes are just bandaged because the doctor removed some glass fragments from them. Don't you remember? Didn't the doctor explain this while you were in recovery?"

John settled back wearily in the bed. "Recovery? I don't remember much. It's all really fuzzy. There were voices asking me questions but…what happened?"

Jeff gently ran a hand through John's hair. "A computer monitor blew up in your face."

John nodded slightly. "I think I remember. I was alone. The monitor flickered and I went to check it out. There was a flash of light, and then my face felt like it was on fire. I don't remember anything after that."

"Do you remember waking up in the plane or in the E.R?" Jeff asked.

John began to tense again. "No, I don't. Why can't I remember?"

Jeff wished he had kept his mouth shut. "It's okay John."

Brains decided to speak up. "J-John, it's not un-un-unusual for you to experience s-s-some memory loss. You've s-s-suffered a major tr-tr-trauma which your mind m-may be blocking out. P-p-plus you have been g-g-given a variety of m-m-medications that could also be c-c-clouding your memory."

An even breathing pattern indicated that John had fallen asleep. Jeff gave Brains a contrite smile. "Sorry about that."

Brains nodded. "It's the d-d-drugs. I won't t-take it p-p-personally."

The three sat in silence for about ten minutes. Finally, Scott exhaled loudly. "Should we call home and update them on John's condition?"

Jeff shook his head. "Not right now. Hopefully they should be resting which is what you two should be doing too."

Scott waved his hand dismissively. "I'm fine. I want to be here for John."

Jeff relented a bit. "Okay, you can stay for a little bit longer, but when I…"

John shifted in the bed. "Dad?" He asked drowsily.

Jeff turned his attention back to his injured son. "Hey John, you back with us?"

"Where am I?" John asked getting agitated. "What happened? Why is it so dark?"

Jeff patted John's shoulder. "It's ok. You're in the hospital in Sydney. A computer monitor exploded in your face. You're eyes were injured, but the doctor expects you to make a full recovery, although your eyes will have to remain bandaged throughout the recovery time."

John gave a slight nod. "I think I remember. Did you tell me this before?"

Jeff laughed lightly. "Yes, I have, but don't worry about it."

"Yeah, with all that 'happy juice' they are pumping into you, you're lucky to remember your own name." Scott joked.

John turned toward his brother's voice. "Scott, you're here too."

"Where else would I be when one of my brothers are hurt?" Scott asked.

"I should have known." John replied. "Was anyone else hurt?"

"No," Jeff replied. "You were alone."

"That's good." John said.

Scott nodded out of habit. "You were really lucky considering that you were 'at work' at the time."

"Scott," Jeff said reproachfully.

Scott immediately understood his father's unspoken message: too much information. He mouthed "sorry" to his father.

John though tensed again. "At work? Was there much damage? How…"

"John, calm down." Jeff ordered.

"But Dad…my 'bird?" John choked out.

"I know son." Jeff said comfortingly. "Frankly, we just don't know what the damages are. Our first priority was taking care of you."

John sighed. "Okay."

Brains tried to reassure John. "Once I g-g-get back to the island, I will b-b-begin to assess the d-damages."

John started at the sound of Brains' voice. "Brains, I didn't know that you were there. Is there anyone else here that I should know about?"

"No, it's just the three of us." Jeff answered. "Although a nurse was in a bit ago to check the monitors, apparently they forgot to mark something on your chart."

John didn't answer but clumsily fiddled with the blanket with his bandaged hands.

"John?" Jeff questioned. He could tell that something other than his injuries was bothering him. "What is bothering you?"

John shifted in the bed. "It's nothing, really. It's just dumb."

Jeff shook his head. "Come on. I may not be able to see your eyes, but the rest of your body is telling me that something is wrong. If something is bothering you, it isn't 'dumb'. Please tell me. I want to help you."

John nodded. "Well…it's just…it's no big deal, really. I guess my mind went into a 'what if' mode. I began to think of all the things that could've gone wrong, and how things could've been different."

"Well, you can quit thinking like that." Jeff said. "It wasn't any worse. You're going to be fine. We can repair the damages that occurred. All in all, we were very lucky."

John smiled. "Okay, you're right. I'm just glad that it happened while I was on duty instead of Alan."

"Don't worry about Alan." Scott broke in angrily. "He is safe at home." Then under his breath he muttered. "At least until I get home."

"Scott…" Jeff admonished.

"What?" John questioned. "What did I miss? What happened with Alan?"

Jeff patted John's arm while at the same time shooting a warning look towards Scott. "Nothing. It's nothing that you need to worry about. It's just something that Scott and Alan need to work out for themselves. Right, Scott?"

Scott sat on the edge of the bed. He tried to lighten his tone. "Right. It's nothing. You know how we are. Alan does or says something stupid. I get angry. I teach him a lesson. Then things will be back to normal."

John gave a small nod. "Well, go easy on him. I'm sure that whatever he did was just because he was worried about me."

Jeff gave Scott another warning look. Scott swallowed back his first impulsive reply. "I'm sure it was. I'll take care of Alan. Don't worry. I'll always take care of all my brothers."

"Okay, no more talking." Jeff interrupted. "The doctor said you needed your rest. So John, you…sleep. Scott, I want you and Brains to find a hotel and get some rest yourselves."

"But, Dad…" Scott began.

Jeff cut in. "No arguments, Scott. I want you to get some sleep. I need you to be fresh so that you can fly home tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Scott questioned. "Does it have to be tomorrow?"

Jeff sighed. "Yes, it does. I'm sorry. There is work that needs to be done as soon as possible. I know that sounds so callous, but…"

"It's what we do." John finished for him. "He's right. There's repair work to do, plus the family business to run."

"But I'd like to stay here with you." Scott argued. "I want to be here to help you."

"And I appreciate that." John said. "But other people will need your help too. So I'm telling you to go help them."

Scott laughed lightly. "I thought I was supposed to be the bossy one. Okay, you win, but I'll stop by and see you before we go back to the Island."

"Thanks, Scott…for everything." John said. Addressing his father, he continued. "You should go to the hotel too, Dad. It's been a long day, and I'm sure you're beat, both physically and emotionally. You'll get a better rest at the hotel then if you stay here. Besides, if I'm asleep, I won't even know you're here."

Jeff just shook his head. "You know. I could've sworn that **I** was the father here. So listen up. Scott and Brains, you are to go to a hotel. John, you are to rest. No more discussion. No more arguments. That is an order." Stopping and taking a deep breath, he continued. "Now, any more questions?"

"Ahh, no, I can't think of anything." John said. "How about you, Scott?"

As a reflex action, Scott shook his head. "Nope, I think that all that was pretty clear. I'll see you in the morning. Have a good night's sleep, John." To his dad, he said. "Call me if anything changes."

Jeff walked with Scott and Brains to the door. "I will. Goodnight, Scott, you too Brains."

Brains and Scott left and Jeff turned down the overhead lights of the room before he returned to the chair next to John's bed.

John heard his dad sit down. "I still think that you should've gone with them." He said.

"I thought we covered this." Jeff replied. "Now be quiet and get some sleep."

"Yes, sir." John said lightly. "Good-night Dad."

"Good-night John." Jeff responded. "I love you."

"I love you too." John said while yawning.

Jeff settled back in the chair and propped his feet up on the edge of John's bed. He heard John's breathing settle into the rhythmic pattern of sleep. He closed his eyes and tried to push the events of the day out of his mind. He felt his body slowly relax and soon he was asleep.

* * *

Author's Note: Okay, so everyone knows how John's surgery went...happy now? We hope so. You can all take a big sigh of relief since we didn't permanently blind him (at least at this point).

Again, we want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter, especially our anonymous ones. Keep up the good work. Next chapter, next weekend. Hope to see you then.


	8. Complications

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 8 – Complications

A few minutes before eight in the morning, Scott and Brains entered John's room. Dr. Raymond was there writing in John's chart while a nurse was drawing blood. Jeff stood next to the door, looking tense.

Scott tried to hand Jeff a cup of coffee. "Here, I thought you might appreciate a cup of coffee."

Jeff seemed oblivious to Scott standing there.

"Dad? What's going on?" Scott asked.

Jeff looked at Scott. "Scott. I'm sorry. I was lost in thought."

"I brought you some coffee." Scott held the cup out again which Jeff took this time.

Jeff looked Scott over. "You look rough. Did you get any sleep?" He asked.

Scott nodded. "Some. Between worrying about John and sleeping in a strange bed. I woke up a few times throughout the night."

Jeff nodded, sipping at his coffee. "I can understand that."

"What's happening here?" Scott asked, motioning toward the doctor and nurse at John's bedside.

"John's temperature started to rise about an hour ago." Jeff explained.

"What?" Scott exclaimed. "Why didn't you call me?"

"Scott, I…" Jeff began to justify himself.

At that moment Dr. Raymond walked over to them, effectively cutting off the pending argument. "Mr. Tracy?"

When the doctor came over, Brains quietly moved to the corner of the room. This was a time for family, and no matter how many times the Tracys tell him that he is family, he still felt like he was intruding at times like this.

Jeff immediately was at attention. "Yes, doctor. How is John? What's wrong? Why is his temperature rising?"

Dr. Raymond held up a hand in a silencing gesture. "Please, Mr. Tracy, calm down. I know that to you this may seem scary, but this really isn't all the unusual after surgery."

"But a fever…doesn't that mean that he has an infection? Isn't that dangerous?" Jeff pressed.

"It could, but not necessarily." Dr. Raymond began to explain. "We'll start him on antibiotics right away, and since we caught it early, it shouldn't pose a problem."

"But what if it does?" Scott asked, filled with concern.

Dr. Raymond shook his head. "We'll deal with that if it happens, but the odds of him developing an antibiotic resistant infection is less than one in a million."

"That's real comforting." Scott muttered disgustingly. "Except to that one person."

The doctor nodded. "You're right about that. I guess my point was to not borrow trouble. We will do everything possible for him."

"Any idea what kind of infection it is?" Jeff asked.

Dr. Raymond shook his head. "Not at this time. It may not be an infection at all. It may be a virus that he picked up. We'll know more once we get the blood work back."

"If you don't know what it is, how can you treat him?" Scott demanded.

"Scott" John's voice came from across the room. "Quit hounding the doctor."

Scott, startled, moved toward John's bed. "John, I didn't know that you were awake."

"And just how can you tell with my head wrapped up like a mummy?" John said with a light laugh.

"Well, I wouldn't say 'mummy'." Scott tried to lighten his tone. "But I get your point. How are you feeling?"

John stretched a bit. He shifted in the bed, trying to find a more comfortable position. "I'm okay. They've decreased the pain meds some so I'm feeling a bit achier, but nothing that I can't handle. At least I can think more clearly. I'm glad of that."

Scott laughed. "Always the 'thinker', aren't you John?"

"It's better than being a muscle-bound block-headed jock." John teased.

"Hey," Scott said indignantly. "Just what are you trying to say?"

John smirked. "I thought I was being pretty clear, but of course look who I'm talking to."

Scott began to tease back. "You're asking for it, little brother. I seem to remember that you were also involved in sports while you were in school. Refresh my memory; don't you join in some pick-up games when you're on the island? So aren't you a jock?" He grabbed John's upper arm. "And if you aren't 'muscle-bound', then explain to me just what it is that I'm holding?"

John laughed but tried to maintain an air of superiority. "But the difference is that I'm a muscle-bound, **intelligent** jock."

Scott laughed along with John. "I wouldn't say that it is 'intelligent' to piss off your big brother who is 'muscle-bound' enough to pound you into the ground."

Jeff stood by and watched his sons banter back and forth. It was good to see a small fraction of normalcy in this time of tension. "All right guys," Jeff said. "Now is not the time to be fighting over who's more macho."

John and Scott tried to swallow their laughter. "Yes sir." They said trying to sound contrite to which they failed. They started laughing again.

Jeff shook his head. "What am I going to do with you two? It's like you're back in high school."

Scott and John seemed to feed off each other.

"High school? Now those were the days."

"Yeah right, days that I would **not** want to relive."

"Teachers"

"Tests"

"Detention"

"Homework"

"Curfews"

"Girl troubles"

"Now that I'd like to still have."

"You would?"

"Well, that would mean that I at least **had** a girl."

"True. I hadn't thought about it like that."

Jeff broke in. "That's enough **boys**. Look, as much as I hate to break up this fun, Scott needs to head home in a few minutes."

Scott's whole demeanor changed instantly. Angrily, he spat out. "Home? I can't go home yet."

"Scott, please," Jeff tried to reason. "I need you to go home and take care of the family business. Your brothers need you."

"My brothers need me?" Scott asked incredulously. Pointing toward John, he continued. "What about **this** brother? He needs me too."

"Scott…" Jeff tried again.

"No!" Scott didn't give him a chance. "It was different when he just had to stay to be monitored after the surgery, but things have changed. He's running a fever. He probably has an infection. I'm not leaving him."

Jeff opened his mouth to argue, but John beat him to it. "Scott, I'm okay. Really, I am. Please do as dad says. You're needed back home. Our brothers need you. They need your support. If you won't do it for them, then do it for me. I would feel better knowing that you were there for them."

"John, I don't…" Scott began.

John interrupted him. "I know. You feel torn. You feel needed in two places at once. Well, I'm making the decision for you. Go home. Take care of our brothers."

"But they're not sick and you are." Scott argued.

"You don't think that they're hurting." John pressed his point. "They're worried and scared. If you stay, it will only make things worse for them. Please, go. I would feel better knowing that you're there for them."

"Okay John," Scott finally gave in. "I'll do it for you." Turning toward Jeff, he continued. "I also want to be kept up-to-date on his condition."

Jeff nodded. "You have my word."

"Like this morning?" Scott asked disgustedly.

Jeff bristled at the remark. "I was going to update you after I talked to the doctor."

"Save it Dad. I don't need your excuses." Scott snapped. Turning back toward John, he continued. "Okay, Brains and I will head home now. You take care of yourself. I want to see you at home soon."

John nodded. "I'll do my best, big brother."

Scott leaned over and pulled John into a hug. "I love you. I want you to know that, even though I don't say it that often."

John brought his bandaged hands up to Scott's back to return the embrace. "I love you too. Tell the other guys that for me."

Scott pulled out of his brother's arms. "I will. You just concentrate on getting better." Turning towards his dad, he said. "I'll have someone bring the car back for you. Come on Brains, let's go."

* * *

Brains sat in silence in the co-pilot's chair of Tracy Four. They were about ten minutes away from the Island for which Brains was grateful. For the past hour and a half, Scott had fumed about the fact that Jeff had sent him home. 

"I can't believe that dad sent me home. I mean is International Rescue really more important to him than our family?" was a sentiment that was repeated by Scott quite a few times during the flight.

The first couple of times, Brains tried to reason with Scott but that only rewarded him with angry looks and cutting remarks. Brains couldn't wait to land and spend some time in his lab. He had an idea for a new safety protocol for Thunderbird 5. Writing and testing the new program would help to relax him after such a tense flight.

Scott's voice interrupted Brains' musings. "Tracy Four to Tracy Island. I am preparing for final approach. Requesting permission to land."

Virgil's voice came from the speaker. "This is Tracy Island. You have permission to land, Tracy Four. Welcome back, Scott."

"Thanks Virgil," Scott replied. "I'll see you in a few minutes. I want to discuss your little 'excursion' yesterday."

"You got it, Scott." Virgil responded. "I'll be waiting for you in the lounge. I'll see you when you get here."

Scott landed Tracy Four gently on the runway and then guided it into the hanger.

Once Scott shut down the plane's engines, Brains turned to him. "Do you n-n-need me for anything?"

Scott shook his head. "No, I'm just going to run the post-flight checks and then I'm going to see Virgil." Anger and frustration was still evident in Scott's voice.

Brains nodded. "I'm g-g-going to my lab. I w-w-want to get st-started on new safety p-p-procedures for Five."

"Thanks Brains," Scott replied trying to calm his tone. "I'll catch up with you later."

Brains left the plane and headed to his lab. His mind was already running three steps ahead of his body. Scott finished the post-flight checks. He left the hanger and headed toward the lounge.

On his way down the corridor, Scott saw Alan leave his bedroom and head towards him. Alan noticed Scott in the hallway. Their eyes locked for a moment. Alan dropped his gaze to the floor and continued walking. Once he was close enough, Scott snaked his hand out and grabbed Alan's arm.

"Just where do you think you're going?" Scott demanded.

Alan's first instinct was to go on the defensive, but he fought back that urge. Quietly he said. "I'm going to Brains' lab. I thought that maybe I could help him."

"Help?" Scott said in disgust. "Now you want to help! I can't believe you. Where was your desire to 'help' when John relieved you on Five? Do you even care?"

Alan flushed with anger. "I do care. How can you even ask that?"

Scott gave out a laugh of contempt. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because you 'forgot' a life or death malfunction on Thunderbird 5, or maybe it's because you have been acting like a selfish, spoiled brat since the 'accident'. How often have you checked to see how he is doing? You didn't even bother to see us off when we went to the hospital."

Alan didn't respond. He knew that there was nothing that he could say that would change Scott's perception of the circumstances. He tried to pull his arm out of his brother's grip. Unfortunately, that just seemed to incense Scott.

Scott spun Alan around and pinned him against the wall. "When are you going to take responsibility for your actions? John is blind because of you!"

Alan started at that statement. "Blind? But I…Dad said…"

Scott continued to rant. "And now he's developed an infection."

Alan was shocked at this announcement. He whispered. "An infection? Dad hasn't said anything about that."

Scott suddenly released him. "I don't blame him. Why should he? Look at what you've done."

Alan blinked rapidly, trying to fight back the tears that had suddenly flooded his eyes. "I'm sorry." He choked out. He hurried down the hall. He wanted to get away before he broke down completely. He left the villa and began walking away from the house. He wasn't even conscious of where he was going. All he knew was that he had to get away.

* * *

Scott entered the lounge and found both Virgil and Gordon there. 

"Hey Scott," Gordon said. "How's John?"

Scott shook his head. "Not good. His temperature has started to rise. They are running tests to see if he has developed an infection."

"An infection?" Virgil asked. "Will that affect the recovery of his vision?"

Scott flopped down on the couch. "I don't know. I tried to ask questions, but the doctor just tap-danced around them. His pat answer was 'we just have to wait and see what happens'."

"How's John taking all this?" Gordon questioned.

Scott sighed heavily. "He's trying to put on a brave face, but I can tell that he's worried. I wanted to stay, but dad insisted that I come home. He wants us to get working on the repairs of Thunderbird 5."

Virgil could hear the disgust in Scott's tone. "How did John feel about you leaving?" He asked.

Scott leaned his head against the back of the couch. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose trying to ward off the headache that was building. "He agreed with dad. He said that you guys needed me more than he did."

Gordon shook his head and laughed lightly. "That's our John, always putting everyone ahead of himself."

"But that's not necessarily a good thing." Scott snapped at Gordon. Standing up, he started pacing. "My God, he's blind right now. We won't know if the damage is permanent until those bandages come off. If that wasn't enough, now he has an infection. He needs to come first. We should be there for him, not the other way around. **He needs us!**"

Virgil and Gordon were shocked at Scott's reaction. Virgil went to Scott's side. He gripped Scott's shoulder in comfort. "Hey, it'll be okay. We have to believe that, not just for our sakes, but for John's as well. He will take his cues from us. We need to do as dad asks and repair Five. John needs to know that we believe that he will be back up there."

Scott nodded and ran a hand over his face. "You're right. I'm sorry that I snapped at you. It's just…"

"I know." Virgil reassured him. "So, what is the first thing that we need to do to repair Five?"

"Brains is already in his lab working on it." Scott replied.

Virgil looked his brother over critically. "You don't look so good, Scott. Why don't you head to your room and get a couple of hours of sleep in your own bed. Gordon and I can help Brains."

"He's right." Gordon put in his two cents. "I'll even get Alan to help us. Besides he needs to be updated on John's condition."

"I already did that." Scott replied.

"Huh? You did what?" Gordon asked.

"I already updated Alan on John's condition." Scott answered derisively. "I happened to meet up with him in the hall. I told him how John was doing. Do you know what he did? Do you? He just walked away, like it was no big deal. Can you believe that? I mean, how selfish can one person be?"

Gordon was shocked. That didn't sound like the "Alan" that he had watched wandering through the villa wracked with guilt. Gordon just nodded. He figured that now would not be the time to argue about Alan. Instead he just said. "Get some sleep. I'm sure that things will look better once you get some rest."

Scott nodded and left the room. Virgil turned to Gordon. "Come on, little brother; let's go see how we can help Brains."

Gordon felt torn. He knew that there had to be more to Scott's run-in with Alan. "You go ahead. I'll be down in a few minutes. There are a couple of things that I need to do first."

"Okay, but don't be too long." Virgil said.

"I won't." Gordon replied. Once Virgil left the lounge, he sat down at the desk. He keyed up the computer to locate the signal beacon in Alan's watch. The signal showed that Alan was moving away from the villa. Gordon keyed the comm. unit. "Hey Alan, can you come back to the house? I'd like to talk to you."

Alan heard his watch beep. He glanced at it briefly to see Gordon's face replacing the time piece. He chose to ignore his brother. The last thing he wanted to do was to listen to another brother yell at him and blame him for John's condition.

Gordon could see the foliage pass by the watch. At one point he even briefly saw Alan's face, but Alan did not acknowledge his call. So Gordon tried again. "Alan? Can you hear me? Come on, it's me, Gordon."

Alan continued walking. At this point in time he couldn't talk to Gordon even if he wanted to. He was too overwhelmed by his emotions. He was feeling hurt, sad, and depressed, but most of all, he was feeling guilty. There was no way around it. It didn't matter why he made the mistake. It only mattered that he did. Now John was paying the price. He couldn't even imagine what John was going through. Losing any sense would cause drastic changes to a person, but to lose your sight…and to John…he loved the stars. They were his life. To face the fact that he would never see the stars again had to be killing John. Alan wished that he could make it up to John, but what could you possibly do when you take away someone's life?

Alan finally reached an overlook area. During his hike, he could still hear Gordon trying to reach him, but finally he had given up. Alan sat down and looked out over the tranquil ocean. The thought that this was another sight that John would never see again pushed him over his emotional threshold. Tears forced their way from his eyes. Harsh sobs escaped his throat. Alan wept bitterly as his despair overwhelmed him. He wrapped his arms around his waist and rocked back and forth as he tried to regain control.

After about fifteen minutes, Alan's sobs had dissolved into ragged breathing. He wiped away the remaining tears from his puffy, burning eyes. He was disgusted with himself for breaking down like he had. What he was going through paled in comparison to what his brothers were going through. What he was responsible for putting his brothers through. He totally understood why his brothers hated him. He hated himself.

* * *

Gordon sat at the desk. He couldn't understand why Alan wouldn't answer him. He was receiving a view from Alan's watch so he knew he was connected. Maybe there was something wrong with the audio on Alan's watch. Gordon switched off the comm. unit. There wasn't anything else he could do at the moment. Once Alan returned, he could check his watch, but until then, he had other work to do. He headed towards the lab to help Brains and Virgil. 

When Gordon reached the lab, he found Brains furiously typing away at the computer. Virgil was at another computer double checking the inventory. Gordon approached Virgil and asked. "So, what's on the agenda?"

Virgil nodded towards Brains. "Brains is working on a new 'safety protocol' program. I'm going over the list of equipment that we need for the repairs. I've already come across two things that we need to order."

Gordon picked up the list and read it over. "Three monitors? Why three?"

Virgil cocked his head to look at his brother. "Well, we need one to replace the blown one, and then Brains wants a couple of extra ones just in case we find other monitors that need to be replaced when we run the new program."

Gordon nodded. "And that would explain the inordinate amount of the various sizes of electrical wiring too."

Virgil returned the nod. "Yeah, Brains just wants to make sure that we have every conceivably replaceable part."

"Okay, so what can I do?" Gordon asked.

Virgil grabbed a sheet of paper and quickly wrote out a list. "Grab a trolley and start loading it with these things. I'll meet you in the storeroom with the rest of the list in a few minutes."

Gordon took the list from Virgil. "You got it, Virg." As he headed towards the door, he stopped by Brains' desk. "Is there anything that I can do for you, Brains?"

Brains never took his eyes off the computer in front of him. "N-n-not right now. I'm h-h-having trouble compiling this one s-s-sub-routine."

"Should I send Tin-Tin down?" Gordon asked. "Maybe she can spot the problem. You know the old adage about 'fresh eyes'. I'm sure with the two of you…"

Brains shook his head. "That's not n-n-necessary. I think that I w-w-was trying to do t-t-too much. I'm going to b-br-break it down into smaller p-p-processes."

"Are you sure?" Gordon pressed. "I'm sure that Tin-Tin wouldn't mind giving you a hand."

Brains just nodded still never taking his eyes off the computer code as he typed. "If this doesn't w-w-work, then I'll c-call her."

Gordon nodded. "Okay Brains, you're the genius, but if there is anything that I can do, just let me know."

Brains nodded again but didn't answer. Gordon left the lab and headed to the storeroom. While he gathered up the items on the list, he mulled over his concern for his brothers: John was injured; Scott was so angry; Alan was wracked with guilt; and Virgil seemed to wavier between anger and the same sense of helplessness that he was feeling. He sighed and tried to push those thoughts away. He had a job to do, and he forced himself to concentrate on it. Gordon lost track of time while he worked, and in what seemed like just a few minutes Virgil had joined him in the storeroom.

"So how'd your talk with Alan go?" Virgil asked Gordon.

Gordon looked at his brother in surprise. "How did you know?"

Virgil laughed at Gordon's face. "It wasn't that hard to figure out. I've only known both you and Alan since the day you were born. Let's just say that I've learned a few things."

Gordon nodded and laughed along with Virgil. "Well, just because I'm younger than you doesn't mean that I haven't figured you out either."

Virgil sobered a bit. "So what did Alan have to say for himself?" He asked again.

Gordon shook his head. "He didn't say anything. He didn't respond to my call."

"Do you mean that he purposely ignored you?" Virgil asked slightly irritated.

Gordon shrugged. "I don't know if it was on purpose. There could be something wrong with his watch, and he might not have known that I was trying to contact him."

Virgil nodded. "Well, I guess if you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, so can I. It's just…" His voice trailed off before he finished the thought.

"It's just what?" Gordon asked, turning so that he was facing Virgil directly. He was prepared to defend Alan if it was necessary.

Virgil met Gordon's gaze, but then sighed and looked away. "I just don't know what to make of Alan. One minute he acts remorseful, then the next, he is being a brat again."

Gordon felt his irritation begin to rise. "Maybe he wasn't. After all, we've only heard one side of the story so far."

Virgil glared at Gordon. "So what are you saying? That Scott lied to us?"

Gordon shook his head. He could tell by Virgil's tone and demeanor that he was getting disgusted. Gordon tempered his tone. The last thing he wanted to do was start a fight with Virgil, so he chose his words carefully. "No, I don't think that he 'lied' to us, but maybe he 'misread' the situation."

"That's not like Scott." Virgil said.

Gordon nodded. "You're right. It's not like Scott…the 'normal' Scott, but none of us are behaving 'normally'. This is not a normal situation. Scott is tired. Plus he's worried. Think about it. He had just left John in the hospital, against his will I might add. Then the first person that he runs into is Alan, who he is blaming for John's injuries. He hasn't been around to see how upset Alan's been. If you add up all these emotional stressors, Scott 'misreading' the situation would easily fall into the realm of believability. We really don't know what Scott said to Alan or what Alan said to Scott."

"Okay, fine." Virgil said still a bit on the defensive side. "I'll give you that. The possibility is there, but I want an honest answer from you." Seeing Gordon nod, he continued. "How are you feeling about Alan right now?"

"What do you mean?" Gordon asked in confusion.

Virgil began to rant a bit. "Are you angry with him? Or are you willing to forgive his 'forgetfulness'? Do you think that he really understands the consequences of his actions? Is this 'remorseful' attitude that he has adopted because he is really sorry for what he's done or because he knows that he's screwed up and he's trying to save his butt?"

"Now you just wait one minute." Gordon broke in angrily. "Alan made a mistake, and he knows it. He knows what could have happened and it is eating him alive. There is **no way** that you can convince me that his despondent mood since finding John is some sort of act to get out of trouble. He's not a kid anymore. He may try to talk his way out of a prank, but when he knows that he did something wrong, he owns up to the consequences. And I think we should give him that much no matter how pissed we are at him."

Virgil shook his head. He should have known that Gordon would stick up for Alan. "So you don't think that he should be held responsible for his 'mistake'? What about John? Is it all right for him to suffer because Alan is 'sorry' now?"

"That's not what I'm saying." Gordon said. "Of course he should be held 'responsible' for his actions, but that's up to **dad** to decide what that should be, not **us**."

"Why?" Virgil demanded. "Why shouldn't we have a say in this. We've all been affected by Alan's mistake, emotionally and for poor John…physically."

"So how should we handle this?" Gordon asked sarcastically. "Alan screwed up 'like always'. So we better kick him out of International Rescue since we obviously can't trust him. It's more than that though, isn't it? Now it involves an injured brother. We can't forgive Alan for that, now can we? Because that would be choosing Alan over John, and that wouldn't be right. So we better pack him up and force him to leave the Island because we certainly can't have him as part of this family, not after what he's done."

Unbeknownst to Gordon and Virgil, Alan had returned to the villa to help his brothers. The door to the storeroom opened quietly. His brothers were between some rows of shelving, so Alan couldn't see them, but he could hear them. Gordon was angrily ranting about him. It cut him to the quick when he heard Gordon say, "We better kick him out of International Rescue, since we obviously can't trust him." But when he heard Gordon continue on and say, "We certainly can't have him as part of this family, not after what he's done." He seemed to lose the ability to draw in a breath. His eyes flooded with tears and his ears filled with a roaring sound. Alan stumbled blindly from the storeroom without ever alerting his brothers that he was there. He only made it partway down the hall before he collapsed in a heap.

Virgil and Gordon continued their conversation totally unaware that they had been overheard.

"You're getting carried away." Virgil argued back. "Nobody has said anything about kicking Alan out of International Rescue let alone the family."

Gordon nodded. "Nobody has said it yet, but everything that he says or does is clouded by your anger."

Virgil shook his head. "That's not true."

"Yes, it is." Gordon interrupted. "And you proved it just now when you questioned whether he was really upset or just trying to get out of trouble. You didn't want to admit that he may be suffering from worry and fear just like us. No, it was easier to think that he was playacting to avoid trouble. It fits in better with your image of Alan being a selfish spoiled brat." Gordon handed his list back to Virgil. "Here, I've gotten most of it. You can finish it. I need some fresh air."

Virgil just nodded. Gordon's outburst gave him a bit to think about. Was he really treating Alan that unfairly? His thoughts were interrupted almost immediately by Gordon's panicked voice.

"Virgil, help! Alan's down!"

* * *

Author's Note - Look what we have done now. Can we be any meaner? First John getting an infection, then Scott fighting with Alan, then poor Alan misunderstanding Gordon and Virgil, finally him passing out. How much more can this family take?

Again, a HUGE thank you goes out to all our reviewers. We are so grateful for all the ones we get, and especially to the ones who faithfully review every chapter. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hopefully, we will see you all around next Sunday when we post chapter 9.


	9. Feelings Exposed

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 9 – Feelings Exposed

"Alan? What in the world?" Virgil thought, as he headed toward the now empty door. When he stepped into the hallway, he quickly spotted Gordon kneeling next to an unconscious Alan. Rushing over to his brothers' side, he demanded. "What happened?"

Gordon shook his head, while at the same time checking Alan's pulse. "I don't know! I came out of the stockroom, and I found him like this. His pulse and respirations are steady."

"Any signs of injuries? Anything that could have caused this?" Virgil asked.

Gordon ran his hands quickly over Alan's arms and legs and then carefully checked for a head injury. "I don't see anything. We better get Brains."

Alan moaned softly. Gordon picked up Alan's hand and squeezed it slightly. He began to speak to Alan to encourage him to wake up. "Hey Alan, can you hear me? Open your eyes. Come on, wake up, Alan."

Slowly Alan opened his eyes. "Gordon? What happened?" He asked in confusion.

"We were hoping that you could tell us." Virgil said.

Alan looked at Virgil and then back to Gordon. Suddenly, the memory of the overheard conversation flooded his mind. He pulled his hand out of Gordon's and tried to sit up.

Gordon put a hand on Alan's chest trying to keep him down. "Hey, settle down. Let us check you out."

Alan brushed Gordon's hand away. "There's nothing to check out. I'm fine."

Virgil shook his head. "How can you say that? We just found you out cold on the floor."

"We're worried about you." Gordon added. "A person doesn't pass out without a reason."

Alan succeeded in sitting up. "There's no reason to worry. I'm telling you that I'm fine."

"Alan…" Gordon began to argue, but Virgil cut him off.

"All right, look, until Scott wakes up, I'm in charge." Virgil began. "I want Brains to check you out. So let Gordon help you down to the sickroom, and I'll get Brains."

Alan scowled at both his brothers. He wanted to argue more, but figured that it would be faster to endure an examination. Then he could at least escape his brothers. "Fine, but he won't find anything because there is nothing to find."

Gordon helped Alan to his feet. He kept his hands on Alan's arm and tried to guide him down the hall.

Alan jerked his arm out of Gordon's grasp. "I can walk. I don't need your help. I'm not an invalid."

Gordon nodded but didn't say anything. He was confused by Alan's attitude. He hoped that it was just because Alan didn't want to add any more worry to the current situation. Gordon followed his brother quietly down the hall.

* * *

Alan sat on one of the beds in the sickroom. Once Virgil and Brains had reached the sickroom, Alan had asked Gordon and Virgil to leave. Gordon tried to argue about it, but Alan was adamant. He wanted to be alone while Brains did the examination. 

Brains had already taken his pulse and blood pressure. He had even drawn some blood that he had run through the analyzer. Brains began to ask questions that Alan quietly answered.

"When w-w-was the last t-time that you ate?" Brains asked.

"Last night." Alan replied.

"H-h-how much did you e-eat?" Brains continued while double checking Alan's chart.

Alan shrugged when he answered. "I don't know. Probably not much, I wasn't very hungry. I only came in because Virgil said that dad made it an order."

Brains marked down the information on the chart. "How d-d-did you sleep last n-n-night?"

Alan sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Not very well, I did a lot of tossing and turning. I think that I did doze off a few times, but as far as how much sleep I got, I'm not sure."

"H-h-how about before that?" Brains continued questioning. "How w-w-were you sleeping while up on f-f-five?"

"Normal." Alan replied. "We had a middle of the night rescue earlier this week, but nothing since then."

Brains nodded. He lifted his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He settled his glasses back into place. "M-m-my first instinct was that your f-f-fainting spell was because of l-l-low blood sugar from n-n-not eating, but your blood w-w-work shows that your sugar l-l-level is on the low side but still w-w-within the normal range. F-f-fatigue could also c-c-cause a person to lose c-c-consciousness, but it would be r-r-rare for only one n-n-night of disturbed sleep to c-c-cause it. I h-h-have to admit that I'm c-c-confused at this point. D-d-did something happen to upset you?"

Alan gave Brains a startled look but then quickly looked at the floor. "Of course something happened to upset me. I almost killed my brother because I was careless."

Brains could tell by Alan's reaction that there was something more to the story. "I was m-m-meaning something that may h-h-have upset you right b-b-before you collapsed."

Alan was clearly getting agitated. "Why does there have to be more? Isn't blinding John enough?"

Brains placed a hand on Alan's shoulder. "Alan, I w-w-want to help you. I can s-s-see that you are c-c-clearly upset, and I sense that s-s-something more than the a-ac-accident is bothering you."

Alan first looked at Brains and then back at his hands. Tears filled his eyes. Brains really seemed sincere in his desire to help him, but could he really trust him? How could he ever trust anyone? He had already been betrayed by Gordon and Tin-Tin, the two people who he thought that he could always trust. Alan took a deep breath and brushed away a couple of tears that had escaped his eyes. In a shaky voice, he responded. "Thank you for your concern, Brains. It means a lot to me. It really does. You're right too. Something else is bothering me, but I can't really talk about it, not right now at least. I hope you can understand."

"B-b-but if it's affecting your h-h-health…" Brains tried to prompt.

Alan shook his head. "It won't…I mean, I won't let it. Please, Brains, just let it go. Please."

Brains nodded. "Okay, b-b-but if you ever f-f-feel like talking, I'm w-w-willing to listen."

Alan gave Brains a wan smile. "Thanks Brains, I'll remember that."

Brains moved to the cabinet to put the equipment away. "D-do you feel up to s-s-seeing your brothers? They were p-p-pretty worried about you. I-I-I'm sure that they are w-w-waiting in the hall."

Alan rolled his eyes and said disgustedly. "I guess I can't avoid it. Are you ready for their questions? Because I can tell you, they won't believe me."

Brains did not miss the tone that Alan had used. "We d-d-do not have to tell them anything. It's y-y-your medical information and I h-h-have to keep that confidential. I c-c-can only tell them what you a-al-allow me to. You are ultimately in c-c-control."

Alan shook his head. "You might as well tell them. They'll keep hounding both of us until they get the answers that they want. They can really be a pain in the ass."

Brains nodded. He tried to put Alan at ease. "D-d-don't worry. I'll h-h-handle them." He crossed the room and opened the door. "You m-m-may come in now."

Scott was the first person through the door which surprised Alan slightly since he didn't realize that he had woken up. He followed Brains and began asking questions. "How is he? What happened?"

"I'm fine. Thanks for asking **ME**, Scott." Alan said sarcastically.

Gordon sat on the bed next to Alan. "Really, how are you doing?" He asked Alan.

Alan looked at Gordon. If he hadn't overheard Gordon earlier, he would have been fooled into thinking that his brother really cared. "I told you. I'm fine. Right, Brains?"

Brains nodded. From watching Alan's reaction, he now knew that whatever was bothering Alan so badly involved his brothers. "He's f-f-fine."

"Then why did he pass out?" Virgil asked from his spot just inside the door.

Brains shook his head. "I n-n-normally would not reveal the m-m-medical condition of a p-p-patient, but Alan gave me p-p-permission to talk to you." He tried to stress the importance of Alan's participation in this conversation.

Unfortunately, the brothers did not seem to catch it. "AND…" Scott prompted impatiently.

Brains looked over at Alan, who just gestured for Brains to continue. "I w-w-would speculate that his f-f-fainting spell was c-c-caused by stress." Brains explained. "C-c-compounded by not eating and f-f-fatigue."

"Like we needed anything more to worry about." Scott muttered under his breath or so he thought.

Virgil heard it though, and after taking one look at Alan's blanched face, he knew that Alan had heard it too. Virgil moved to stand next to Scott. He hissed into Scott's ear. "Knock it off, Scott. Obviously Alan's been taking this a lot harder than we thought. He doesn't need anymore heaped on him."

Scott could see the anger flashing in Virgil's eyes. "Sorry." He mumbled.

"Maybe you should tell Alan that. He heard you, you know." Virgil snapped back.

Before Scott had a chance to say anything, Alan had moved off the bed and was heading toward the door. "Thanks Brains…for everything."

"W-w-wait a minute, Alan." Brains said. He pulled a bottle of pills out of the cupboard and put a couple of the pills into a smaller bottle. "I w-w-want you to go to your r-r-room. I'll have Kryano b-b-bring you a specially balanced m-m-meal. You need to eat it all. Th-th-then I want you to t-take these pills to help you s-s-sleep." Brains held out the smaller bottle to Alan.

Alan's first impulse was to argue, but then he thought better. At least this would give him an excuse to be away from his brothers. Taking the bottle he simply replied. "Thanks."

"Hey, let me walk with you." Gordon said.

Alan shook his head. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with Gordon. "Nah, that's okay. I don't need a babysitter." He said sarcastically.

Gordon bristled at Alan's tone. He tried to be understanding, given the stress Alan was under. Trying to keep his tone light, he said. "I didn't intend to 'baby-sit' you. I just thought maybe we could talk."

Alan met Gordon's eyes with a hard look. Gordon could see the sadness in them, but he was surprised to see anger also radiating from that look.

"I think that there's been enough talk." Alan said in a low steady voice.

Gordon nodded. Obviously Alan was upset with him. Could it be that he was still upset over their conversation in Thunderbird 3? If Alan would just talk to him, he could explain that he doesn't feel that way anymore. He knows that it was an accident. He always knew that. He wished that he could tell Alan that it was worry that made him question it at the beginning. He wanted Alan to know that he was there for him. He didn't have to go through this alone. Unfortunately, he knew that he could not force Alan to listen to him. That would only drive him farther away.

Gordon checked the hallway to make sure that Alan was out of earshot before he turned toward Virgil. Angrily he demanded. "So do you still think that he is just acting? My God, he is so upset that he is literally making himself sick."

Virgil nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry that I doubted him."

"Oh, that's easy to say." Gordon said derisively. "But how are we going to convince Alan that we all aren't against him?"

"What are you talking about?" Scott asked in confusion. Turning towards Virgil he continued to ask questions without waiting for an answer. "What is he talking about? Did something happen while I was gone? What has Alan said? Did he try to weasel out of this? Did he…"

"Shut up Scott!" Gordon angrily yelled, interrupting his brother. "You're as bad as Virgil."

"Shut up?" Scott asked hotly. "How **dare** you tell me to shut up?"

Gordon rolled his eyes and sarcastically said. "I **dare** because you two are ready to crucify Alan. If he won't stand up for himself, I will. I won't let you hurt him in your desire for vengeance."

"You won't let me?" Scott asked threateningly. He clenched his fist and took a swing at Gordon.

Gordon saw Scott's fist coming at him and tried to duck but was a split-second too slow. Scott's fist connected with Gordon's jaw. Gordon stumbled backwards into the exam bed that Alan had just vacated. Fire flashed in Gordon's eyes as he rubbed his jaw. "You lousy, son of a …" He said menacingly as he headed back across the room. Gordon landed a solid punch to Scott's stomach followed up quickly by a shot to Scott's eye.

Scott howled in outrage. He landed his own punch to Gordon's abdomen. Gordon tried to throw another punch which Scott blocked by grabbing his arm and, using Gordon's own momentum, pulled it up sharply behind Gordon's back. He then pushed Gordon away from himself in order to get a second to collect himself.

Gordon swung back around to face his brother. He took the opportunity to take a couple of deep breaths. Clenching his fists again, he moved toward his brother intent on continuing the fight.

Virgil stepped in front of Scott and held his hands out to block Gordon. "Knock it off you guys. Fighting between ourselves isn't going to solve anything." He didn't seem to be getting through to either of his brothers. "Come on guys. I said knock it off." He could feel himself being pushed and shoved as Scott and Gordon continued to try to attack each other. "Hey, Brains, I could use a little help here."

Brains was shocked when he saw Scott and Gordon break into a fistfight. Even though the Tracy brothers did fight at times, it rarely escalated into physical violence. He tried to help Virgil break up the two. He grabbed unto Gordon's arm and tried to guide him back towards the bed. "C-c-come on, l-l-let me ch-check out your j-j-jaw."

Gordon tried to pull his arm out of Brains' grip. "Save your concern for Scott. I'm gonna wipe the floor with him."

Scott was trying to make his way around Virgil who was holding him back. "I'd like to see you try." He challenged. "Let me go! Damn it!"

"No!" Virgil said. "Not until you promise that there will be no more violence."

"Hell, no," Scott shoved Virgil, still trying to get around his brother. "If he thinks that he is man enough to take me on…"

"Think!" Gordon yelled trying to get away from Brains who used both hands to tighten his grip on Gordon's arm. "I don't just think. I **know** that I can take you down."

"Like hell, you can!" Scott shot back.

"That's it, both of you!" Virgil yelled in a tone that demanded attention. "Nobody is going to take anybody else 'down'. Do I make myself clear?"

Scott nodded and stepped back a step but asked disgustedly. "Did you hear how he is defending Alan? John could have **died** yesterday, and he wants us to go easy on him."

"That's not what I said." Gordon began to argue. He started to move forward, but stopped when Brains tightened his grip again.

Virgil held up a hand to silence Gordon. He tried to calmly explain. "Scott, you haven't been here to see how upset Alan's been…"

"He's only upset because he knows he's in trouble." Scott interrupted.

"Bull!" Gordon spat out.

"What did you say?" Scott demanded, re-taking his offensive posture.

"You heard me." Gordon snapped back. "How would you know why Alan is upset? The only time that you've been around Alan is to yell at him."

"Fine." Scott said in disgust. "And just what has Alan said to you to convince you that his remorse is sincere?"

"Nothing." Gordon snapped. Suddenly he seemed to lose his fight. He leaned against the exam bed. Quietly, he said. "He hasn't said anything, that's how I know. If he was trying to weasel out of trouble, he would be talking non-stop. He would be apologizing over and over. He would be giving us a hundred and one excuses why it wasn't his fault. This 'quiet' Alan has me concerned."

"Gordon's right Scott." Virgil said. "I did question Alan's motives earlier, but now after his collapse, I think his remorse is sincere."

Scott couldn't believe what he was hearing. He decided that he really didn't want to argue with both his brothers, but he wasn't about to give up his anger at Alan. As far as he was concerned, Alan had duped his brothers. Scott shook his head and said. "Fine, so you guys believe that he is sorry, but I don't. It's going to take a lot on his part to change my mind. I intend to make sure that he is held responsible for John's injuries."

"That's not up to you." Gordon said irritably. He had already had this discussion with Virgil, and now Scott was spouting off about it. "It will be up to dad to decide what to do about Alan."

Virgil hoped to calm his brothers. "Look, arguing between ourselves isn't going to help anything. Gordon is right. It is up to dad to handle Alan. Scott, you know that he won't let him off scot-free, but he will be fair. We need to concentrate on the work we have to do."

Scott nodded. He spoke in an almost normal tone. "Okay. Where do we stand on the repairs for Thunderbird Five?"

Virgil was glad to have the conversation moving in another direction. "I had to put in an order for three items. They should be ready to be picked up in Christchurch tomorrow. I figured that I would fly over there in the afternoon and get them." Turning towards Brains, he asked. "How is your new safety program coming, Brains?"

"I am s-s-still working on it." Brains replied. "B-b-but I should be f-f-finished by the time that you p-p-pick up the other i-i-items."

Virgil nodded and turned back to Scott. "So, barring any interruptions, we should have everything late tomorrow. We can plan on heading up to Five the next morning."

"Sounds like a plan." Scott said in agreement. "I'm going to call dad and let him know."

"One more thing, Scott." Virgil interjected.

"What?" Scott questioned.

Virgil chose his words carefully. "I know that you are still angry with Alan, but could you at least be civil to him until dad gets back to handle the situation?"

Scott noticed that Gordon suddenly seemed very interested in his answer. Wanting to avoid another fight, he acquiesced. "All right, I'll be civil. I won't mention John or the 'accident' at all to him. Will that make you happy?"

Virgil nodded. "I don't know if 'happy' is the word for it. I think satisfied is a better word."

"All right, I'll see you guys at dinner." Scott said as he left the room.

Brains quietly left the room to seek out Kyrano. Alan was still waiting for his meal.

Virgil moved to stand next to Gordon. "How's the jaw?"

Gordon rubbed his jaw. "It's fine. Scott hits like a girl."

Virgil laughed. "I wouldn't let Scott hear you. He'd come back and finish the job."

Gordon sobered. "Thank you for supporting Alan. I know that you had your doubts."

"Yeah, well I shouldn't have." Virgil admitted. "I know that when Alan is on duty, he takes it very seriously. He wouldn't just ignore a problem no matter how anxious he is to leave."

"Now if we can only convince Scott of that." Gordon said dryly.

Virgil patted Gordon's back. "Don't worry. He'll come around eventually. Come on, let's get back to the storeroom and get the replacement parts moved over to Thunderbird Three."

"Okay, then I'm going to hit the pool. I need to relieve some of this nervous tension that has built up in my back." Gordon said as the headed out of the sickroom.

* * *

Author's Note - Way to go, Gordon!!! Finally, Virgil has seen the light, but will Alan believe them when they try to be nice, or will he think that they are just lying to him again. (I think most of you have figured that one out. Although, we can be nice at times. We only made you wait a week to find out about Alan's condition.) Now, Scott just has to come to terms with what has happened. 

Again, thank you to all those who reveiwed our story, especially to the anonymous ones. We try to reply to all the reviews we get, so this is the only way that we can acknowledge our faithful, anonymous ones. We hope that you enjoyed this chapter. The next one should be posted next week.


	10. The Next Day

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 10 – The Next Day

Alan woke the next morning to see sunshine filtering through his window. He looked at the clock next to his bed. It read 9:19. "After nine? Why did I sleep so late?" He thought in confusion. Then he remembered the events of the past day: Scott's anger at him when he arrived home, the news that John was permanently blind, Gordon and Virgil trying to figure out a way to get rid of him, Brains giving him a sleeping pill to help him get some rest. "Boy that pill was powerful." Alan told himself. "I took it around 8:30 last night. My God, that means I slept for almost thirteen hours. I never sleep that long. Scott is going to kill me." Alan quickly clamored out of bed and headed for the shower. Once he had showered and dressed, he headed out of his room. He knew that his brothers would be angry at him for "slacking" off, but maybe if he did his work quietly and efficiently, they would just leave him alone.

Alan found Gordon alone in the lounge sitting at the desk. Gordon glanced up and noticed Alan standing in the door. "Hey, there's Rip Van Winkle." He said lightly. "How are you feeling this morning?"

Alan looked around nervously. "I'm fine. Where is everyone?"

Gordon nodded to the monitor. "Scott, Virgil and Brains have gone out on a rescue."

Alan was instantly alarmed. "A rescue? I didn't hear the alarm. What happened? Where'd they go?"

"They were called to Peterson's Computer Design Company." Gordon began to explain. "There are four people trapped in the research and development lab."

"Trapped? How'd they get trapped? Was there a building collapse or something?" Alan questioned.

Gordon shook his head. "Nah, apparently they do a lot of 'top-secret' development work, so they put in what was supposed to be a top level computerized anti-theft program. Now that program has gone a little screwy."

"How so?" Alan asked.

Gordon continued. "Well, even though the system was supposed to be off, it registered the workers as intruders. So, following it's programming, it has sealed off the lab behind a five inch steel door and flooded it with anesthetic gas. Then to top it off the computer won't recognize any of the override codes."

Alan nodded. "So let me guess. Scott and Virgil are going to cut through the door while Brains tries to shut down the computer program."

"Actually, he was having trouble shutting down the program so Scott insisted that Brains just delete the computer program completely, which didn't make the owner very happy." Gordon replied. "But the computer was already trying to knock them out with the gas, but they had their masks on. Scott didn't want to risk the computer trying to do anything worse to stop their progress."

"That makes sense. It's hard to rescue people if you're unable to reach them." Alan said lightly and then instantly regretted it. He mentally kicked himself. He thought. "Man that sounded so bad. No wonder Gordon doesn't think that I can be trusted, not when I make stupid comments like that."

Alan got serious again. "How long have they been out? I swear to God I never heard the alarm. I bet Scott was pissed that I didn't show up."

Gordon gave him a small nod. "He was at first, but then Brains set him straight. He told Scott that the sleeping pill that he gave you would knock out a horse and not to blame you for sleeping through the alarm."

"Really?" Alan asked a bit stunned. "And Scott was okay with that?"

This time it was Gordon's turn to be stunned. "Yeah, why wouldn't he be? You were under the influence of medication. Even if you had woken up with the alarm, you wouldn't have been in any shape to go on a mission."

Alan shrugged. "You still didn't tell me when they left."

"Oh sorry," Gordon said. "The call came in a few minutes before seven, which would have made it a little before eleven at the danger zone."

"Have we heard anything more from dad this morning?" Alan asked.

Gordon shook his head. "No, but Penny called. She wanted to know if we had heard anything more since she talked to Scott yesterday. I told her no, but that I would call her as soon as I heard anything."

"She would appreciate that, I'm sure. Actually, she is so much like family that I am surprised that she hasn't gone to Sydney to be with them." Alan remarked.

"She probably would have, but she had some appointments, and dad told her not to cancel them. He told her that she can come to the Island once John gets home." Gordon replied.

Alan nodded. "That makes sense. She'll have more time to spend with John once he is home. Okay, is there anything that I can do?"

"Have you eaten yet?" Gordon questioned. Alan shook his head. Gordon continued. "Brains said to make sure that you ate something when you got up. I'm sure that Kyrano would make you something."

Alan sighed. "Fine, I'll be back when I'm done." Alan walked to the kitchen down-hearted. Again, his brother had made him feel like an irresponsible child. Well he wasn't going to have to put up with it much longer. He had decided to leave the organization and the family. How complete the break will be will depend on how the talk that he planned to have with his dad goes. As much as it hurt to hear what his brothers thought of him, they were still his family and a part of him didn't want to cut himself completely off from that. Quietly, lost in his own thoughts, Alan grabbed a bowl and some cereal to make himself a quick meal.

* * *

Jeff sat quietly in a chair next to John's bed. He had his laptop opened on his lap. He was trying to work on some Tracy Industries business while John slept. He was having a hard time concentrating on his work. He was tired both physically and emotionally. He ran a hand over his face as he thought back over the emotionally charged morning. 

_Begin Flashback_

John had slept in a bit that morning which was probably the best thing for him at the moment. Jeff was relieved when his temperature had started to come down over the past evening. It was back down to normal when the nurse did her 2 am check. Jeff finally did get some sleep after that and felt refreshed when he woke up that morning.

Breakfast, however, was not an easy task to accomplish. The scrambled eggs kept falling off the fork, and twice John had spilled his juice onto the front of his hospital gown. Finally, John had opted to just eat his toast and carefully drank his lukewarm coffee.

Maybe things would have gone better if the Occupational Therapist hadn't chosen that exact time to visit John.

"Hello, Mr. Tracy," she said. "My name is Rachael Adler. I'm the occupational therapist that Dr. Winter asked to come see you. How are things going this morning?"

"Fine, just fine." John replied. "And please call me John. Mr. Tracy is my father who is the other gentleman in the room."

Jeff extended his hand to the OT. "Please to meet you, and please call me Jeff."

Rachael shook Jeff's hand. "Same here, and please call me Rachael." Turning back towards John, she continued. "It looks like you had a bit of trouble with your breakfast this morning."

John gave out a snort of disgust. "No, I just thought this hospital gown needed some color, so I added some orange."

"And you thought the yellow from the eggs would look good in your lap?" She said lightly.

"Look," John snarled. "I don't need your 'humorous observations'. If you are going to make fun of me, you can just leave now!"

"John!" Jeff said in shock. He couldn't believe that John had snapped at her like that. Out of all his sons, he was usually the one who was always calm and composed.

"No, that's alright Jeff." Rachael said. "I understand. John, I like being upbeat and friendly, but I am **not** trying to make fun of you. I just wanted to 'kindly' let you know that I am aware that your breakfast did not go as 'fine' as you claim. Now, I'm here to help you, but you also have to work with me. I'm going to go get a few things, and I will send in a nurse to help you get cleaned up and then maybe we can start over again."

"What if I don't want your help?" John sulked.

"Do you want to continue wearing your meals?" She asked. "I can help you with that."

"Okay, fine." John gave in. "But all I need is the new gown. I can change myself."

Rachael meet Jeff's eyes, and he gave her a small nod indicating that he would help John if he needed it. Knowing that most patients need to have some feeling of control, Rachael told John. "Okay, I'll send the nurse in with the gown and you can do it yourself."

Twenty minutes later, Rachael was back with another tray of food. She began to explain things. Things were going fairly well. She explained the placement of the food on the plate as in the "clock" positions. She helped him arrange his cups at certain "locations" away from the plate so that he didn't accidentally knock them over. She explained different "techniques" to help pick up "slippery" foods on his fork. She even got a couple of smiles out of John. That all changed once they finished the "eating" part and Rachael wanted to move on to the "walking" part.

Rachael moved the rolling table away from John's bed. "I have a cane here for you. Do you feel up to standing?"

"A cane?" John questioned. "What do I need a cane for?"

"Well, basically, it is to help locate obstacles in your way." Rachael said.

"I know why blind people use it, but what I mean is **why** do I need one?" John argued. "My eyes are only going to be bandaged for six weeks and during that time, I am going to be at home."

"It may only be six weeks, and you may be in your own home, but you would still be surprised at how many obstacles can be in your way. There will be plenty of things that you didn't even remember that they were there." Rachael said.

"Not in my house, I know it like the back of my hand." John said getting irritated.

"And at this point, you wouldn't know the back of your hand." Rachael countered. "It's been burned and bandaged."

"Oh, you're just real funny." John sneered.

"I'm sorry," Rachael said. "I see I got on your bad side again. Look, I know you don't think that you need the cane, but I also know how deceiving that line of thinking can be. You think that you know your house well enough to get around without a cane, and maybe you do, but you have never tried to maneuver through it without your sight before, have you?"

"No, but I know that I can do it." John continued to argue.

"Okay, but what if you have to leave your house." Rachael argued back. "You may not be planning on it right now, but you never know what could come up. Wouldn't you like to have at least the basic idea on how to use the cane? Just in case?"

"No!" John said emphatically.

Jeff decided it was time to step in before John got too far out of hand. "Rachael, could you give me a few minutes to talk to John?"

Rachael nodded. "Sure, I'll be just outside the door."

Jeff turned to his son and calmly asked. "Okay, what is the real reason why you don't want to use the cane?"

"Because I don't need it!" John practically yelled in frustration.

Jeff shook his head and quietly said. "I don't think that is the true reason. If you only learned the things that you thought you would use, you would have never learned those extra languages that you know."

"But I do use them." John replied.

"You didn't know that you would use them in your job when you first learned them." Jeff pointed out.

John remained quiet but turned his head away from his father.

"John, please, tell me what really has you upset." Jeff asked.

John sighed. "It's the idea of using the cane. It just screams 'blind'. It let's everyone who sees me know that I am not normal, that I am disabled. They will treat me differently. I don't want that. I just want to be normal. I just want my life back."

Jeff sat at the edge of John's bed. He rested a hand on John's arm. "You will get your life back. It will just take time. But during that time, what would be the harm in learning to use the cane? Like Rachael said, you never know when you may need it, and I promise you, nobody is going to think less of you for using it. Will you learn, for me?"

"Okay, fine, for you." John acquiesced.

"Thank you." Jeff said patting John's arm. "It'll be all right. You'll see." Once those words were out of his mouth he regretted it. "I'm sorry John. That didn't come out right."

John tone was hard when he spoke. "Whatever. Just get Rachael back in here so I can be done with this OT."

Jeff went to the door and asked Rachael to come back in. She spent the next thirty minutes teaching John the proper way to hold the cane and swing it back and forth. John was a fast learner and caught on quickly although his swings were still hesitant and jerky.

"You're doing well, John." Rachael said. "I'd like you to keep practicing with it this afternoon. I'll check back in with you tomorrow to see how you're doing."

"I'm going home tomorrow." John stated simply.

"Maybe" Jeff interjected.

"Okay, this is what I am going to do." Rachael said. "I'll come in a little early and come see you first thing in the morning. That way if you are released, I won't hold you up."

"Do whatever you want. I'm going home tomorrow." John said as he climbed back into his bed.

Jeff gave Rachael an apologetic look as he extended his hand again. "Thank you for all your help, we appreciate everything that you have done." Muttering under his breath, he continued. "Even though some don't show it properly."

Rachael shook Jeff's hand. "Don't worry about it. This is a hard thing to have to deal with. This is normal."

"Quit talking about me like I'm not here." John demanded.

"You're right, John." Rachael said. "That was rude of us. I'll be back in the morning. Get some rest, but also get some practice in."

Once Rachael left the room, Jeff sat down in the chair next to the bed. "John, do you want to talk about how you are feeling right now?"

"I'm feeling tired." John said. "I think that I would like to try to sleep."

"Okay John," Jeff replied. "But I will be here if you want to talk."

John tossed and turned a bit before he finally fell asleep. Jeff turned on his laptop intending on getting some work done, but he found that his heart wasn't in it. He hoped that tomorrow's session with Rachael would be better.

_End Flashback_

Jeff was brought back to the presence by a voice calling from the door. "Jeff"

Jeff recognized the voice immediately. He stood and quickly crossed to the door. He embraced the petite woman in front of him. "Mom, I'm so glad that you're here."

"Where else would I be?" Grandma Tracy said. "I'm just sorry that it took me so long to get here. Harry and Esther and I decided to drive up from Daytona Beach to Jacksonville to visit Steve and Lauren for a couple of days. I feel so bad. I didn't call to let anyone know where to reach me, and I forgot my watch at Harry and Esther's house. Poor Virgil wasn't able to get a hold of me until last night. I took the first flight out that I could get."

Jeff guided his mother to the chair opposite his. "That's okay Mom. Everyone forgets once in a while. Have a seat. You must be tired after that long flight."

"Thank you, dear." Grandma said. "Now, tell me how is John doing?"

Jeff knelt next to his mother's chair. "Actually, things are starting to look up. His temperature is back down, and the doctor said that if it stays down for twenty-four hours, he can go home."

Grandma Tracy patted Jeff's hand that rested on her arm. "That is good news, dear. Once we get him home, we will take such good care of him and everything will be fine. I know it."

Jeff stood back up. "I hope you're right. I just can't help but think that all this could have been prevented."

Grandma gave Jeff a look of confusion. "What do you mean Jeff? I thought Virgil said that it was an accident while he was working."

Jeff nodded. "It was, but Alan admitted that he knew that there was a problem with the monitor. He noticed it before the shift change, but then he said that he got side-tracked with a rescue and forgot to run a diagnostic scan. He even forgot to tell John that the monitor was acting up."

"And you are angry with Alan for that?" Grandma questioned.

Jeff sighed. "To tell you the truth, I really don't know how I feel. Sure a part of me is angry at Alan, really angry. His forgetfulness could have literally killed his brother. Then there is a part of me that wants to believe that is was just an accident, a result of simple human error."

"Then why don't you?" Grandma broke in.

Jeff was startled by the question. "What?" He asked.

Instead of repeating herself, Grandma asked another question. "What did you just tell me less than five minutes ago when I said that I forgot my watch?"

Jeff knew where his mother was heading. "That's different. Forgetting your watch wouldn't get anyone killed."

"How do you know?" Grandma pressed.

Now Jeff was confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Grandma began to explain. "Just for conjecture's sake, let's say that Harry, Esther and I were in a car accident on a deserted stretch of road. What would happen if one or both of them were injured, maybe like internal bleeding? Because I didn't have my watch to call for help, they died before anyone found us. Wouldn't my 'forgetfulness' be the cause of their deaths? Face it, son. Most of us have just been lucky when we forget things."

Jeff nodded. "You're right, of course. How do you manage to always explain things in just the right way?"

Grandma gave Jeff a patronizing smile. "I don't think that I should give away that secret. You may not think that I am so smart afterwards."

Jeff gave his mother a kiss on the head. "Never. You'll always be the smartest person I know." Jeff moved towards his own chair. "Maybe I should sic you on Scott. He is adamant that Alan's 'forgetfulness' was because of his hurry to get back to the Island so that he and Tin-Tin could leave for their trip."

"That's not true." John said from the bed.

Jeff and Grandma were both on their feet. Grandma ran her fingers through John's hair. "John…sweetie…how are you feeling?"

John smiled a bit. "I'm fine, Grandma. Did you bring me an apple pie?"

Grandma laughed lightly. "There is definitely nothing wrong with your stomach, but no, I didn't bring a pie with me this time. I promise you though, that once I get you home, you can have all the apple pie that you want."

"Ohhh…that sounds great." John replied. "I'm ready to go home right now."

"The doctor said maybe tomorrow." Jeff interjected. "Providing your temperature stays down."

"So, you hear that young man," Grandma teasingly scolded. "You behave yourself and get well."

John smiled. "Yes, ma'am, anything for your pie."

"So John," Jeff said. "How long have you been awake?"

"You were telling Grandma how smart she was." John replied. "It must have skipped your generation and was passed down to me."

"Oh, you're so smart." Jeff said sarcastically.

John laughed. "I'm glad that you concur."

Jeff shook his head. "Anyways, you had an opinion about Alan? Do you realize that he knew that something was wrong with that monitor?"

"He what?" John asked, not wanting to believe what he was hearing.

Jeff sighed heavily. "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have blurted it out like that. Alan, though, admitted that the monitor was acting up while he was up there, but before he could run a diagnostic scan, the rescue call came in and distracted him. By the time that it was finished, he had forgotten about the monitor."

"So, that's what you meant about Scott thinking that he was in a hurry to get home." John said.

"Yeah, Scott is really upset with Alan right now." Jeff replied. "He seems to think that Alan purposely ignored the problem in order to get home sooner."

"Scott needs to pull his head out of his ass." John said disgustedly. "Alan would never do that on purpose. None of them would."

Jeff placed a hand on John's shoulder. "Calm down John. Getting yourself worked up isn't going to help right now. We can deal with all of this once we get home."

"Your father's right, dear." Grandma broke in. "Why don't you get yourself some more rest?"

John gave a small nod. "Okay, but just remember this Dad. If Alan was in such a hurry to get home, why did he stay and finish the rescue when I offered to take over for him? He didn't because he didn't want to upset that little boy anymore. He didn't want them to think that they weren't important. I really think the names of the victims threw him, even if he doesn't want to admit it."

"I know you're probably right." Jeff admitted. "But I need to deal with my anger at the situation before I deal with Alan. Even if it wasn't done on purpose, he still needs to be held responsible for his actions, or lack thereof."

"I agree on that point." John said. "But I don't want you to go ballistic on him over this."

"Don't worry, I won't." Jeff assured him. "And I'll handle Scott too. You just concentrate on getting better."

"Okay, Dad." John said as he shifted in the bed and pulled the blanket up to his shoulders. In a matter of minutes, John had fallen back asleep. Grandma pulled out her knitting and Jeff went back to his computer, although he didn't get much work done since he was lost in his own thoughts.

* * *

At two o'clock in the afternoon, the four Tracy boys meet for a late lunch in the kitchen. 

"This looks great, Kyrano." Gordon said as he helped himself to the food as the steaming bowls were passed around the table.

Kyrano bowed his head. "Thank you, Mr. Gordon. I thought that since your brothers missed breakfast that they would appreciate a large nutritious meal."

"You're certainly right about that." Virgil said digging into his plate of food with relish. Around a mouthful of food, he said. "This pork is absolutely delicious. You take such good care of us. What would we ever do without you?"

Kyrano nodded to acknowledge Virgil. "My wish is that you would never find out."

Alan sat quietly at the table while his brothers discussed the earlier rescue. He took a few bites here and there but basically he just pushed the food around. He listened intently to the conversation but did not contribute to it.

"I can't believe that anti-theft program." Virgil said. "Talk about 'over-kill'. Did they really think that they needed that complicated of a program?"

Scott shrugged. "Who knows what goes through people's mind, especially when they are dealing with top-secret research. I have noticed that people in that kind of positions tend to become paranoid."

"I don't know about that." Gordon interrupted. "Maybe they just want to make sure that their butts are covered. If someone does manage to break in and get out again, the can say: 'We had the most sophisticated anti-theft system available. We couldn't have done anything more to stop a break in.' They'd rather be over-cautious than nonchalant about security."

"Sure, that's great for their peace of mind, but it sure was a pain in the ass to affect a rescue." Virgil groused. "And what was it with those doors? We had to cut through four of them, and it took forever, even with the oxyhydnite cutters."

Gordon began to explain. "According to Brains, the doors were a new steel alloy. It is supposed to be three times as strong as plain steel."

"Of course, being five inches thick didn't help matters either." Scott mumbled around the breadstick that he had just bitten into.

Virgil nodded. "I think the worst part was the temperature swings that the computer resorted to once the anesthetic gas didn't knock us out. First it raised the temperature so high that I sweated like an old work horse. Then I froze when it dropped the temperature. I swear that my uniform had ice crystals in it from the sweat freezing."

Gordon snorted. "Now that's a pretty picture…a 'Virg-sicle'."

Scott laughed. "Well, thank God, that rescue is over. Computers have made life easier in most respects, but, man, when they screw up, they sure can drive a saint to make a deal with the devil."

Gordon and Virgil laughed along with Scott. Even Alan gave Scott a tight smile.

"Has anyone heard how John is doing?" Virgil asked.

"I talked to dad for a few minutes right after I got home." Scott began to explain. "John's temperature is down. Dad said that he could be released as early as tomorrow some time. Grandma arrived at the hospital late this morning. She promised John an apple pie once he got home, so I figured that with that kind of an incentive that he will be home real soon."

"With that kind of incentive, I'm surprised that John isn't already home." Gordon laughed. "Hey, we should throw him a 'Welcome Home' party."

Scott shook his head. "I don't think that would be a good idea. He will still be recovering from his injuries, after all. We don't want to overwhelm him."

Alan smarted at that statement. "Scott just couldn't help but to remind me that John is injured, and it is my fault." He thought. He tried to hide his hurt feelings by studying the remaining food on his plate. Finally, he got up and scraped the remaining food into the disposal.

Virgil pushed his plate away. "Oh man, that was so good, but I ate way too much. I would love to just stretch out and take a nap right now."

"Then why don't you?" Gordon asked.

"Because I have to fly to Christchurch to get the repair items that I ordered yesterday." Virgil explained.

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Gordon replied.

Alan was at the sink rinsing off his plate when he heard Virgil mention his flight. "I can go to Christchurch for you, if you want." Alan offered.

Virgil looked at Alan in surprise. "I don't know, Alan. Are you sure that you're up to it? After what happened yesterday…" He left the rest of the statement hanging in the air.

Alan nodded. "I'm fine, really. I've been eating, and I got a good night sleep…"

"Don't we know it?" Scott grumbled.

Alan bristled at Scott's comment but did not respond to it. Instead he addressed Virgil. "So, how about it? Do you want me to make the flight for you or not?"

Virgil thought for a moment and then turned to Scott. "What do you think, Scott? Is it okay for Alan to go?"

Scott looked between Virgil and Alan. "If he wants to go, I say let him go."

Virgil looked back to Alan. "Okay, if you want to go, you can take the flight. I would appreciate the chance to unwind a bit."

"Just make sure that you get everything." Scott snapped.

Alan bit back the angry retort that rose in his throat. He forced out a respectful "Yes, sir". Turning to Virgil he asked. "Can you make a list of items for me so that I can make sure that I have everything?"

"Sure I can do that. Not a problem." Virgil replied.

Alan looked around the table. "If there is anything else that you guys want me to pick up from town, make a list. I'm going to check with Kyrano, Tin-Tin and Brains. I'll be ready to leave within the hour."

"Hey, Alan, why don't I go with you?" Gordon offered.

Alan looked like a deer caught in headlights. How could he diplomatically tell Gordon no? All he knew was that he didn't want to be stuck in a plane over the pacific with Gordon telling him what a screw-up he was.

Help came from an unexpected source. Scott answered for Alan. "No, Gordon, you need to stay here. I don't want to be caught short-handed if a rescue comes in."

Alan flushed a bit at the remark. To him, it was just another subtle implication that he was no longer welcome on the team. Quietly he told Gordon. "Scott's right. It's better that I go alone." He then left the kitchen in search of the other island occupants to see if they needed anything from the mainland.

Still sitting at the table, Gordon addressed Scott. "I wish you would let me go with him. I'm worried about him."

Virgil looked at Gordon in alarm. "Why? Do you know something that we don't? Was there something more to his 'passing out' yesterday?"

Gordon shook his head. "Not that I know of. I'm more worried about his emotional state. I know that he is feeling guilty, but he won't talk about it."

Scott got up from the table and rinsed his plate. "We have more important things to worry about than Alan's hurt feelings. I said that you're staying, and you're staying." He placed his plate in the dishwasher and left the kitchen.

Virgil gave Gordon an understanding look. "Don't worry too much about Alan. He'll get over this eventually. He always does." He then got up to deal with his own dishes.

Gordon stared at his empty plate. Suddenly his lunch seemed to weigh heavily in his stomach. Quietly to himself he said. "I hope you're right."

* * *

Author's Note - Did you see? We were actually nice to John. His temperature is coming down. Yea!!! Unfortunately, we aren't being that nice to poor Alan. Or should we say that Scott is not being nice to Alan? Yeah, that's it...blame it all on Scott. Yeah, that'll work. 

We hope that you enjoyed this chapter, especially the John fans who were asking about him in the last chapter. Again, we want to thank everyone who reviews. They do mean a lot to us. The next chapter will be posted next week. (A special note to our non-American readers: We live in Ohio and Michigan which are in the Eastern Time Zone of the United States. When we say "Sunday aftternoon", we mean by our time which depending on where you are in the world relative to the time zones, it could be late Sunday night or even early Monday morning. We apologize if we confused anyone by the timing. We understand that it can be frustrating waiting for something that doesn't show up until the next day.) We hope that you keep reading and enjoying.


	11. Returning Home

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 11 – Returning Home

Alan's alarm clock went off at six in the morning. Out of habit, Alan hit the snooze button. He rolled over and buried himself back down into the covers. Suddenly his eyes popped open as he remembered why he had set his alarm. They were supposed to head up to Five this morning to begin the needed repairs. He threw back the covers and headed for the shower.

As Alan stood under the running water, he couldn't help but think over the events of the past few days. He also tried to think about what he would do once he officially resigned from International Rescue. He had been trying to reach a decision ever since he overheard his brothers talking. He had even retired to his room last night as soon as he had returned from Christchurch and looked into a few different options. The clear front-runners were to return either to the racing circuit or to NASA. The only problem was that they both held associative memories to International Rescue.

Suddenly, remembering the time, Alan stepped out of the shower. Even though he was planning on quitting International Rescue, he was going to do everything expected of him by the book until he tendered his resignation. He wasn't about to let his brothers down again. Dressing quickly, he headed towards the kitchen for a quick breakfast. Kyrano was the only one in the kitchen when Alan arrived. Without a word, Kyrano place a plate of food in front of Alan.

"Thanks, Kyrano." Alan told him.

Kyrano bowed slightly. "It is my pleasure, Mr. Alan. I am willing to help you in anyway that I can."

Alan paused in his eating and looked at Kyrano. He could see the sincerity written in his eyes, as well as the unspoken offer to listen. Alan nodded. "I appreciate that. I really do, but I can't talk about it right now. I'll keep your offer in mind, though. Thank you."

Alan quickly finished his breakfast, and as he headed out the door, he asked Kyrano. "Can you let my brothers know that I will be in Thunderbird Three? I want to do the pre-flight checks so that we can leave whenever they are ready."

"I will relay your message." Kyrano said simply.

* * *

Scott stepped into Thunderbird Three. He took the elevator up to the cockpit only to find it empty. He then took the elevator to the storage area. "Alan, are you in here?" He called from the open doorway. 

Alan stepped into view. "Yes, Scott, I'm here. Are we ready to go?"

Instead of answering Alan's question, Scott asked his own questions. "What are you doing down here? I thought you were doing the pre-flight checks."

Alan shrugged his shoulders. "I finished the checks. So I decided to double check the supplies while I was waiting."

Scott nodded. "Well, I came to tell you that I've changed my mind about who is going up to Five."

Alan flinched. Here it comes. Scott was going to tell him to stay home. He may as well face it. He was grounded from International Rescue.

"I've decided to send Brains and Tin-Tin up to Five with you today." Scott said.

Alan blinked in surprise. "Huh? What?"

"Well, I was thinking about the personnel situation right now." Scott continued. "If a rescue call came in, Virgil and I would be needed to respond, and I decided to keep Gordon down here to run the desk, since you are a lot more familiar with Three and Five. I decided to send Tin-Tin with you and Brains just to help speed up the repairs. Do you have a problem with any of this?"

Alan shook his head. "Nope, no problems. Do you know if they are ready to go?"

Tin-Tin's voice startled Alan since he had not realized that she had come in. "I am here, Alan, but Brains said that he will be another fifteen or twenty minutes before he is ready to go."

Alan nodded. "Thank you, Tin-Tin. Make yourself comfortable. I'll be waiting in the cockpit. Just have Brains let me know when he is ready to go." Alan left the storeroom without acknowledging his brother.

Scott shook his head. Disgustingly he said. "That boy is really asking for it."

Tin-Tin gave Scott a look of disbelief but didn't say anything.

"What?" Scott demanded. "Don't tell me that you approve of Alan's attitude these last few days."

Tin-Tin looked Scott straight in the eyes. "I think that there is more going on with Alan than you're willing to see or give him credit for."

Scott could see the resolve written on Tin-Tin's face. He should have known that she would support Alan no matter what. He shook his head. "Whatever" he said, then he left Thunderbird Three.

* * *

Scott sat at the desk trying to concentrate on Tracy Industries business. He wished that he could be anywhere but at that desk. He was finding the work very monotonous, but his dad had specifically assigned him this job. The aerospace division needed to hire an engineer for the research and development department. Plus they needed a new test pilot. Normally the human resource manager would handle the hiring of new employees, but Jeff considered these positions to be crucial enough that he wanted the final say. The HR manager had narrowed the list of applicants down to five potential employees for each position. Jeff had asked Scott to narrow it done to three for each position. Jeff had planned on doing the interviews the next time he went to New York, but those plans may have to change given the currant circumstances. 

Scott slammed shut the file that he was trying to concentrate on. He stood in front of the picture window. He was having trouble sorting through his emotions. At first it was easy. Alan was responsible for John's injuries, so he was angry at Alan, but now he wasn't so sure. Maybe his brothers were right…that Alan was really upset…that Alan was scared by what the possible outcomes could have been…that Alan was feeling guilty about what happened. Could it really have just been a simple human error that ended up with dire results? Gordon was right about one thing. Alan was very quiet. It was like he was trying to quietly make up for his mistake since the accident. He followed every order without complaint; he even volunteered for extra jobs, and he never even tried to fight back during their "altercation" in the hall. As far as Scott knew, Alan hadn't told anyone about it. Surely, Virgil or Gordon would have said something to him if Alan had complained to either of them about the incident. It was one thing to yell at Alan, but he had gotten physical with him. Scott's mind kept telling him that he was wrong about Alan and should be sorry about how he was treating him, but he was still so consumed with anger. He just couldn't seem to let the anger go. All it took was for someone to mention Alan and he seemed to burn with rage. There was no controlling it. Scott shook his head. He decided to head to the beach. Maybe a run would help him clear his mind. Just as Scott turned and headed towards the door, the phone rang.

Scott sat back down at the desk. He connected the phone and his dad's face appeared. "Hi, Dad, how are things going?"

"Very well," Jeff replied. "I wanted to let you guys know that John is being released from the hospital."

Scott's face lit up as he smiled. "He is? That's great news. I'll fly over and get you."

Jeff shook his head. "That won't be necessary. I've chartered a private medically equipped jet to fly us home.

Scott was surprised. "Why did you do that? Is there something wrong? Did John take a downward turn? Should he…"

"Scott, relax." Jeff interrupted. "Nothing has happened. John is fine."

"Then why the medical jet?" Scott asked. "**I** am perfectly willing to come get you."

"I'm aware of that, Scott." Jeff replied. "But with your brothers gone on that errand, I would prefer to have you stay at home."

"Well, actually only Alan went." Scott began to explain. "Brains and Tin-Tin went with him to help, but I kept Gordon and Virgil home. I figured I might need them if something else comes up. So I can come get you."

Jeff nodded. "Good thinking, but for that same reasoning, you should stay home. You just never know when **you** may be needed. I've already made all the arrangements, so we'll just stick with that. We should be home in a few hours."

"Okay, Dad." Scott said. "I'll make sure that everything is ready for your arrival."

Jeff smiled. "Thanks, Scott. I knew that I could count on you."

Scott disconnected the phone. He leaned back in the chair and exhaled loudly. Finally, something was going right.

* * *

Scott stepped on to the patio area surrounding the pool. Gordon was in the pool doing his daily laps while Virgil lay sleeping in one of the loungers with an engineering magazine open on his chest. 

Scott sat on the lounger next to Virgil. He jostled Virgil's lounger with his foot. "Hey, Virg, I thought that you had learned a long time ago that the 'osmosis' method of reading doesn't work."

"Huh, what?" Virgil mumbled as he woke up. Realizing that Scott had joined them, he continued. "Hey Scott, why'd you wake me up? I was having a great dream about the Johnston twins."

Scott chuckled. "I take it that in your dream, they didn't 'blow you off' like they did in high school."

Virgil threw his magazine at Scott. "Shut up, Scott. That sure was a long time ago. I wonder why I was dreaming about them now."

"Maybe an unfulfilled desire coming back to haunt you." Scott replied.

"Yeah, right," Virgil snorted. "I was sixteen. It was nothing more than a school-yard crush. Besides, I remember a few girls who 'blew you off' in high school too."

Scott gave Virgil an exaggerated shocked look. "Who me? Never. The girls were lined up to get me."

Virgil laughed out loud. "Now look who's dreaming?"

"Hey, what's so funny over there?" Gordon called from the pool.

Scott shook his head. "Oh, just reminiscing a bit. Come on over here. I have some news."

Gordon quickly scrambled out of the pool. He grabbed a towel and dried off as he walked over to his brother. "What's up?" He asked.

"Dad called a few minutes ago." Scott said. "John is being released from the hospital."

Virgil and Gordon both smiled in relief. "That is great news." Gordon exclaimed.

"It sure is." Virgil agreed. "So, you're going to go get them?" He asked.

Scott shook his head. "No, dad is chartering a private plane home."

"Chartering?" Virgil said in surprise. "Why would he do that? Is there something wrong that we don't know about?"

Scott shook his head. "Relax, nothing is wrong. Well, at least nothing more than we already know about. Dad just figured that since the repair work on Five was started, we were even more short-handed than before. He didn't want to make it worse by making one of us go get them."

Virgil nodded. "That makes sense."

Gordon nodded also. "So how long before they get home?"

"A few hours yet." Scott answered.

"Then we better get things ready." Gordon said.

Scott gave Gordon a confused look. "Get what ready?"

"For John's welcome home party." Gordon answered like it was the most logical thing in the world.

Scott sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I thought we went through this already. A party is not a good idea."

"But Scott…" Gordon began to argue.

"No, Gordon," Scott interrupted. "Think about it. It's only been a few days since he was injured. I'm sure that he is still suffering side affects of the concussion. He has burns that are just starting to heal. Plus his eyes are still bandaged. So when he gets home, he will be tired from the flight, still in pain from his injuries, and experiencing who knows what emotional turmoil from being blind. Does that really say 'party' to you?"

"Fine," Gordon huffed. "I just wanted to do something to cheer John up."

Scott leaned forward a bit. Soothingly he said. "Look, Gordon, I know your heart is in the right place. Really, I do. I just think your timing is off a bit. This is going to be a hard period of adjustment for John. Let's give him the time to make that adjustment. We can have a party for him later, okay? Maybe when the bandages come off, depending on the condition of his eyes at the time."

Gordon nodded. "Okay, but I get to give him one huge blow-out of a party when John gets better."

Scott smiled and nodded. "You've got a deal. As a matter of fact, I'll even help you set it up."

Gordon laughed. "I don't think so. You're idea of a party is pretty boring."

Scott gave Gordon an indignant look. "Boring? My parties aren't boring. They have an air of maturity about them. Unfortunately you are just too juvenile to appreciate them."

Gordon continued to laugh. "You just keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day **you** will actually believe it. In the meantime, I think I will pick Alan's brain about the party."

Scott's demeanor changed instantly, and Gordon knew that he had said the wrong thing. He tried to back-pedal his mistake. "Scott, I'm sorry. I just…"

"Stuff it." Scott snapped. He stood up and headed back towards the house. Abruptly he spun back around and angrily told Gordon. "Just do me one thing Gordon. Whatever you plan for John, leave Alan out of it. John doesn't need to be reminded of who blinded him in the first place." He then stormed back into the villa.

Gordon sat down in the lounger that Scott had just vacated. He exhaled loudly. "Man, I really put my foot in it with that comment."

Virgil nodded. "You sure did. I can't believe you brought up Alan knowing the way Scott feels about him right now."

Gordon shook his head. "I didn't really think about it. We were talking and laughing, and it just, kind of, slipped out. I didn't mean to upset Scott like that."

Virgil tried to comfort his brother. "I know you didn't. It's not just all your fault either. Scott needs to come to terms with what has happened. He needs to somehow deal with his anger or it will tear him **and** this family apart."

"So, what do we do to stop that from happening?" Gordon asked.

Virgil shook his head and quietly said. "I don't know if there is anything that can be done."

Gordon closed his eyes as he settled further down on the lounger. "I figured that you would say that."

* * *

Scott stormed through the house. "What is wrong with me?" He thought to himself. "Not more than half an hour ago, I was actually contemplating forgiving Alan. Then all it took was for Gordon to mention John and Alan in the same sentence and the anger just exploded again. I've prided myself on my ability to stay in control, but this is one time that I just can't. God help me, I just can't let go of my anger at Alan." The run on the beach sounded even more inviting to Scott at this time. He quickly changed into his jogging shorts and shoes and then headed out to the beach. He felt the tension slip away as he thought of nothing besides putting one foot in front of the other. It was a much more relaxed Scott that returned to the house not quite two hours later.

* * *

Jeff made his way from the cockpit to the passenger compartment. Everyone was still in the same places they were in when he went to the cockpit over thirty minutes ago. His mother sat staring out the window while her hands continued their knitting on their own accord. Nurse Linda Wardell sat in the seat closest to the stretcher. She was quietly studying. Earlier in the flight, she had explained that after six years of nursing, she decided to continue her education and become a doctor, a pediatrician to be exact. She accepted the job as a flight nurse because, unlike a hospital position, it paid well and left plenty of time for school and studying. 

John lay still on the stretcher. Jeff smiled as he recalled how the nurse had stopped John in his tracks when he tried to argue with her about needing the stretcher.

_Begin flashback_

The nurse was trying to get him settled while they waited for Grandma to board. He sat in the wheelchair next to the stretcher, but refused to get on it. He was still pretty grouchy after dealing with Rachael the OT earlier that morning, and was taking it out on the nurse.

"I'm telling you." John complained. "I'm fine. I don't need a stretcher. It's only my eyes and hands that are injured. It won't make any difference if I am lying down or sitting up."

The nurse double checked his chart. "You may think that, but I have two points to make. First off, you are recovering from a concussion. Now, even though the plane is pressurized, there still will be slight air pressure changes that may cause you some discomfort."

"Like what?" Jeff interrupted.

The nurse turned to face Jeff. "The most common complaint is a headache, but some people have complained about dizziness or vertigo due to pressure build-up in the ear canal."

"I'll chew gum." John said grumpily.

Nurse Wardell laughed. "Sorry, that doesn't always work. Besides that won't help with point number two."

"Which is?" John asked.

The nurse smirked. "It's a requirement of our insurance carrier. Section one of article four clearly states: 'all patients must be secured to a stretcher during transport'."

John tried giving her a conspiratorial grin. "I won't tell, if you won't."

"Nope," the nurse replied. "Unfortunately for you, you were assigned a nurse who is a stickler for the rules."

"Well, it's a stupid rule." John groused.

The nurse nodded. "That may be, but it is still the rules. Now, I would appreciate it if you got on the stretcher. We can even raise the head of it to make you more comfortable."

John crossed his arms. "And if I refuse?"

"John!" Jeff admonished. He was still having trouble believing that this was John, his 'laid-back' son, who was giving the nurse such a hard time. Of course he shouldn't have been too surprised since he had also given the OT such a hard time too. Hopefully getting back to the Island would put John in a better mood.

Nurse Wardell shook her head. Why do guys think that they have to be so macho? "That's okay, Mr. Tracy, I can handle this." Turning back to John, she said. "You have your choice. You can quit arguing and get comfortable on the stretcher, or you can spend the flight under sedation."

"You wouldn't dare." John challenged.

"Don't be too sure." The nurse responded. "I have a hypodermic, and I know how to use it."

John sighed disgustedly. "Fine, have it your way." He said, finally giving up and getting on the stretcher. "But don't think that I am doing this because I am afraid of you and your 'hypodermic'. I just want to get home. I still think it's a stupid rule."

The nurse gave Jeff a quick wink while she helped get John settled. "Of course not, you are only capitulating because you are an intelligent, young man who has realized the futility of fighting against the rules."

"Exactly." John said grouchily.

Jeff quietly shook his head with laughter as he helped his mother get on board.

_End Flashback_

Jeff's mother looked up when she heard him return from the cockpit. She could see that he was lost in thought. "Is everything okay up there?" She asked.

Jeff's mind came back to the present and he nodded. "Yeah, we're about a half an hour away. I've already talked to Scott. He's going to handle the landing procedures when we are ready to land."

"Well, that will give him something to do other than drive the guys up a wall." John, who had taken a short nap and was in a better mood than earlier, said lightly from his semi-reclining position of the stretcher.

"John, I didn't know you were awake." Jeff said in surprise.

John laughed. "Do you know how many times you have said that over the past few days?"

Jeff laughed along with John. "I guess I have, but it's hard to tell when I can't see your eyes. Even when you're awake, you're normally quiet. You need to do something when you're awake. Maybe you could hum or something."

John sighed. "How about if I start naming the constellations and list the stars that are in them? Maybe I can throw in their distances from the earth."

Jeff patted John's shoulder. "That's okay. I wouldn't want you to strain yourself."

"I don't think that is the real reason." John smirked.

"Neither do I." Jeff conceded. "But on a serious note, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," John said. "Just a bit tired."

Nurse Wardell gave out a harsh cough.

Jeff looked between the two. "What?" He asked.

"It's nothing, really." John began to explain. "When I woke up earlier, I had a monster headache, but Linda came to my rescue. Whatever pain killer she gave me has reduced it to just a nagging headache."

"I was just doing my job." Linda said.

"And you do it very well." John teased.

"So, I take it that you don't think that she is the 'wicked witch of the west' anymore." Jeff teased his son.

John grinned sheepishly. "Was I really that bad?"

Jeff laughed. "Yes, you were."

Linda broke in. "No, not really. I've had worse patients before."

"Look, Linda." John began. "I'm really sorry about how I was acting earlier. I guess I'm just not a good patient."

Linda patted John's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I'm used to 'macho' men giving me fits."

John laughed. "If you think that I was trying to be macho, wait until you meet my brother Scott."

"That bad, hey?" Linda questioned.

"Oh yeah," John replied. "He is the poster boy for 'macho'-ism. He was a high-school jock with girls swooning over him. He joined the Air Force and became a hot shot fighter pilot. Then to top it all off, he is now second-in-command at one of the world's largest companies, and he still has girls throwing themselves at him."

"Hmm," Linda pondered. "Do I detect a note of jealousy?"

"Nah, I'm happy with my nice quiet life studying the stars." John said around a yawn.

"You're tired." Linda said seriously. "Try to get some more rest. I don't want you wearing yourself out. It's not good for your recovery."

"That is why you are heading straight to bed when we get home." Grandma began to fuss.

"Aww, Grandma…" John began, but his grandmother cut him off.

"Don't you 'aww' me." She said. "You need your rest, and I intend to see that you get it."

"How about a compromise, Grandma?" John asked. "I'll agree to take another nap when we get home, but I want to be woken up for dinner. Then I want to stay up for a while to spend time with the family."

Grandma patted John's shoulder. "I'll tell you what. You take your nap, and I will make sure that you are woken up for dinner. **Then** we will decide how long you can stay up depending on how you're feeling after dinner."

"Okay, Grandma," John laughed lightly. "But you promised me an apple pie. So I'm expecting one for dessert."

Grandma laughed along with John. "Don't worry. I know what I promised, and I'll take care of everything."

John grinned broadly. "Thanks, Grandma. I knew I could count on you."

* * *

The rest of the flight was spent in idle chit-chat between Grandma and Jeff while John dozed to the rhythmic humming of the plane's engines, and Linda went back to her studies. The plane landed on the Island runway with a couple of bounces. 

Grandma chuckled. "Scott will be having a fit if he saw that."

Jeff nodded. "And I'm sure that he did see it. Knowing Scott, he's been waiting and watching the whole time."

Sure enough, by the time that the plane had taxied back toward the hanger, not only was Scott waiting there but also Virgil and Gordon. Scott was the first one to board the plane once it came to a stop, but first he helped Grandma down the steps.

"Thank you dear." She said as she headed towards the villa.

"Anytime Grandma." Scott said. Then he quickly climbed the steps into the plane. "How's he doing?" He asked his dad once he was on board.

Before Jeff had a chance to answer, John replied. "I'm doing just fine, Scott. Thanks for asking **ME**."

Scott looked towards his brother who was sitting at the edge of the stretcher. "I'm sorry John. I didn't realize that…"

"That I was awake?" John finished for him. "There's a lot of that going around. Right Dad?"

Jeff laughed lightly. "Yeah, I guess you could say that, but it is an easy mistake to make."

Just then Scott noticed the nurse. "Well, who do we have here? Are you planning on introducing us, Dad?"

Jeff sighed indulgently. "Of course I was. I do have **some** social skills. Boys, this is Linda Wardell. She was the flight nurse for our trip home." Pointing to each of the newly arrived sons, he began to introduce them to Linda. "Linda these are three more of my sons. Over there is Virgil and the redhead is Gordon, and this big flirt is…"

Scott interrupted his dad as he moved closer to Linda and extended his hand to her. "I'm Scott, the oldest, smartest, strongest, and most debonair of all the Tracy sons."

Linda shook Scott's hand but shared an amused look with Jeff which Scott noticed. "What? Did I miss something?"

Linda shook her head. "Nothing important. I just heard some stories about you on the flight over."

Scott cocked an eyebrow. "Oh really? Lies…all lies. I'm telling you."

Linda laughed out loud. "Don't be too quick to deny them. The stories may have been flattering to you."

"I really doubt it, knowing my **little** brother." Scott said rolling his eyes. "He's always been jealous of me."

"Oh I'm sure." Linda said in a dubious tone.

Scott gave her a charming smile. "I have an idea. How about if the next time that I'm in Sydney I take you out to dinner. You can tell me what they told you, and I can set the story straight."

"That is a lovely offer." Linda replied. "But I have to decline. I don't think that my fiancé would appreciate that too much."

Scott's face fell a little bit. "No, I don't suppose he would. Well, his gain is my loss."

Jeff laughed out loud. "Now that we've seen Scott's prowess with a woman, let's get back to the business at hand. John, you promised your grandmother that you would take a nap. So we better get you to your room."

"I brought the wheelchair from the sickroom, but if we need the stretcher…" Scott began.

John indignantly cut him off, as he stood up from the stretcher. "Get real. I don't need either. I'm not an invalid."

Scott placed a hand on John's shoulder. In a condescending tone, he said. "Now don't get mad. I just want to make things easy for you."

John shrugged Scott's hand off his shoulder. Angrily, he snapped. "Then don't treat me like I'm helpless. God, I've only been home for a few minutes, and you're already treating me like a child. Well, I'm not. I'm perfectly capable of walking into the house. I just need someone to guide me around any obstacles."

"Maybe we should ask Linda what she thinks." Scott said, giving Linda a questioning look.

Linda shrugged. "My job was to deliver him safely to his home, and I have done that. If John feels up to walking to the house, that's his choice."

"Thank you, Linda." John said. "I'm glad I have your support."

"I always want what is in the best interest of my patients." Linda replied. "Although I would recommend that you take the back ramp out of the plane. It should be easier than the stairs for you to handle. Especially since I gave you that pain reliever earlier, you may be a bit unsteady on your feet, so you should also have someone walk with you just in case."

John nodded. "Right, back ramp, not the stairs, I think I can handle that."

"I'll help you, John." Scott offered.

John shook his head. "No, I don't think so. I don't need your condescending attitude right now. I'm sure that I can get either Virg or Gordon to guide me. Right guys?"

Virgil exchanged a helpless look with Scott. He knew that Scott wanted to help, but he wasn't going to force John to except Scott's help. "Sure, I can help you if you want."

Gordon nodded his head in agreement. "I'll help in any way that I can. Just tell me what you want me to do."

John started towards the ramp exit and said teasingly to Gordon. "Oh, that could be dangerous. What can I get him to do? Throw rose petals at my feet? Kiss my ring?"

"You don't have a ring." Virgil reminded him.

"Oh, yeah, I guess I will have to think of something else." John replied. "Come on Gordon, you can do the honors."

Scott grabbed John's arm to stop him from moving towards the rear of the plane. "Please John, I didn't mean anything by this. Really I didn't. I just wanted to help. I'm just not sure how to handle this. Please don't be mad."

John sighed and tried to patiently explain. "I'm not mad. I'm frustrated. Instead of assuming that I can't do something, ask me. If I need help, I'll let you know."

Scott nodded and then realized that John couldn't see him. "All right, John, I'll try to do better." He said.

"I'd appreciate that." John replied. Turning towards his brother, he said lightly. "Lead the way, Gordon."

Gordon grinned and teasingly said. "It would be my great honor, oh magnificent one."

"Oh please," Virgil joined in the teasing. "What a suck up."

"You're just jealous that John picked me to help him." Gordon replied in a jokingly arrogant tone.

"All right guys, I think that's enough." Jeff broke in. "Gordon, go ahead and help John to his room. Your grandmother will hold us all responsible if John doesn't get in his promised nap."

"Then we better get going." Gordon said. "We wouldn't want to get on grandma's bad side."

John laughed. "Especially since I want my apple pie for dessert."

"**YOUR** apple pie?" Gordon said, throwing his arm around John's shoulder. "Hey, John, have I ever told you that you are my favorite brother?"

"You're still not getting my pie." John replied dryly.

Gordon and John continued to tease each other as they made their way carefully out of the plane.

"I really put my foot in it, didn't I?" Scott asked, looking at his dad.

Jeff placed a hand on Scott's shoulder. "I'm sure that he will eventually get over it. I know that you meant well, but we can't smother him. He won't admit it, but I think that he is unsure of himself and it is scaring him. He is trying to appear self-reliant because he doesn't want to seem feeble in front of you guys. We need to be sensitive to his feelings and basically let him take the lead on how much help we give him."

Before Scott had a chance to respond, the pilot emerged from the cockpit. "Mr. Tracy?" He questioned.

Jeff looked at the pilot. "Oh, right, sorry Pete, I got caught up in something else." Turning towards Scott and Virgil, he continued. "Boys, this is our pilot, Pete Wright. Pete, these are two more of my sons, Scott and Virgil. I want you two to help Pete and Bill, the co-pilot, he's apparently still in the cockpit, with the re-fueling and any other pre-flight maintenance that is needed. Then take them and Linda up to the kitchen. Grandma is making them an early dinner. I'll meet you there. I want to make a quick call to Brains to see how things are going."

"I talked to him a few hours ago. Things were progressing at a satisfactory rate." Scott said.

Jeff nodded. "I know that you have been handling things in my absence, but I would just feel better if I checked in with him myself."

Scott returned his dad's nod. "I guess I would feel the same way. All right, we'll see you later."

* * *

When Jeff reached the lounge, he sat down at his desk. He instantly felt better. It may be a false sense of security, but he always felt more in charge when he was at his desk. 

Jeff keyed the comm. "Tracy Island calling Thunderbird Five, come in please."

A serious looking Alan appeared on the screen. "This is Thunderbird Five. Hello, Father, you're home. How's John?"

"He's resting right now." Jeff replied. "Is Brains available? I'd like to speak to him."

Alan glanced behind him. "Sure, let me get him for you."

Alan moved across the room. Brains was so engrossed in the repair work that he wasn't even aware that a call had come in. Alan tapped Brains on the shoulder. Brains whipped around with a startled look on his face.

Alan held his hands up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Dad's on the comm. He wants to talk to you."

Brains nodded as he laid his scanner down. "Th-th-thank you Alan. I'll b-be right back to f-f-finish this."

Alan nodded but did not say anything. He moved back to the computer console that he had been working on prior to his dad's call. He tried not to listen to the conversation, but he couldn't help it. He heard his dad question the status of the repairs. He inwardly burned at the fact that his dad had asked Brains for the report. Obviously his dad didn't trust **him** enough to ask him. Or maybe his dad just didn't want to talk to him. Maybe his dad was like his brothers, hating him for what he had done. He hadn't had a chance yet to talk to his dad about the incident, so he wasn't sure where he stood with him. Shaking his head, he forced himself to tone out the conversation between his dad and Brains and concentrated solely on the repair work before him. He needed to prove that he could be trusted again. Alan became so engrossed in his work that he was startled when Brains tapped him on the shoulder.

Alan looked over his shoulder. "Yeah, Brains?"

"I ex-ex-explained the situation to your f-father." Brains said. "He ap-ap-approved the idea of us s-s-staying the night on b-b-board Thunderb-b-bird Three in order to c-c-complete the repairs in the m-m-morning."

"Three? Why not Five?" Alan asked.

Brains explained. "Your f-f-father does not want us s-sl-sleeping on Five until I g-g-get the safety pr-pr-program completely installed and t-t-tested."

Alan nodded. "That makes sense. Is dad still on the comm.? Did he want to talk to me?"

Brains shook his head. "No, he s-s-said he had to join your b-b-brothers in the kitchen. Did you n-n-need to speak to h-h-him?"

The knot in Alan's stomach twisted even tighter. He made a concerted effort to keep the pain out of his voice. "That's okay. I'll just talk to him later."

Brains, however, could tell that something was really bothering Alan. "Are you o-o-okay, Alan? Is th-th-there something that I c-c-can do for you?"

Alan shook his head. "I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about."

Brains continued to press. "If this is about J-J-John's injuries, he's…"

"I said it's nothing." Alan snapped, and then instantly regretted it. Contritely, he continued. "I'm sorry, Brains. I didn't mean to snap, but I really don't want to talk about it. It is what it is. I made a mistake and John got hurt. Talking isn't going to change that. So let's just get back to work. The sooner that we get Five up and running, the happier everyone will be."

Brains nodded. "You're r-r-right. I know I said it b-b-before, but if you d-do feel the need to t-t-talk, I'm willing to l-l-listen."

Alan nodded. He really wished that he could confide in Brains, but he just couldn't. He just didn't know who he could trust, and he just couldn't risk being betrayed again. "I know, Brains, but…" Alan decided to change the subject. "Look, I'm finished with this. I'm going to check on Tin-Tin and see how she is doing."

Brains nodded. "Okay, I'll c-c-continue working with this p-p-program." He watched as Alan left the control room. He was getting worried about Alan. Brains knew that Alan was feeling guilty, and he could understand that feeling, but he could also sense that there was something else bothering him. Maybe Tin-Tin can get through to him. Brains hoped so.

* * *

Author's Note - Yes! John is finally home, but will that make things better? Will Scott come to terms with his anger? Will Alan learn that he has mis-read the situation with his brothers? Will Jeff be able to handle all this family discord? All the questions will eventually be answered. 

Okay, folks, we hope that you enjoyed this nice, long chapter. So far this is the longest one that we have written. Please don't be disappointed next week when the chapter isn't as long. Again, we want to thank everyone who reviewed, especially our anonymous ones. We love them. They really are an encouragement to us.


	12. Recovering

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 12 – Recovering

Later that evening, Jeff entered the kitchen to find Virgil and Gordon helping their grandmother get dinner on the table. "Where's Scott? Did he go to get John?"

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, he wanted a chance to smooth over his earlier 'foot-in-mouth' incident."

Just then, they could hear laughter coming down the hall. "Well, it sounds like he did." Jeff said, as John and Scott entered the kitchen.

Grandma crossed the room. "John, sweetie, should you be up? How are you feeling?"

Sitting down in the chair that Scott had guided him to, John replied. "I'm fine Grandma. The nap helped a lot, but I can guarantee that this home-cooked meal is going to make me feel even better. Hospital food really stinks. I can't wait to dig in."

"I could have brought you your food. You didn't have to come to the table." Grandma said.

John shook his head. "Really Grandma, I feel fine. I'd much rather be here with everyone else."

Grandma nodded her head. "Well, it's all ready. Everyone sit down. I don't want this poor boy wasting away."

While the rest of the family took their seats around the table, John complimented his grandmother. "This smells great, Grandma. If my nose is working properly, you made my favorite meal – stuffed peppers."

"Your nose is in perfect working order." Grandma chuckled. "It is stuffed peppers, along with garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus spears with hollandaise sauce. Plus I made the three cheese biscuits that you like so much."

"And apple pie for dessert?" John asked. "Please tell me that you made me an apple pie. After all, you promised."

"Of course I made the pie." Grandma said. "Do you really think that I would break a promise to one of my wonderful grandsons?"

John shook his head. "I never doubted that you would come through for your favorite grandson."

"Hey!" Virgil said indignantly.

"In your dreams." Scott declared.

"The drugs…it has to be the drugs." Gordon put in.

John laughed. "It is so easy to get a rise out of you guys."

"All right, boys, that's enough." Grandma said as she placed a full plate of food in front of John. "Here you go sweetie. Your food is arranged on the plate with the meat at five o'clock, potatoes at nine o'clock and the asparagus is stretched between twelve o'clock and two o'clock. There are two biscuits on a bread plate to the upper left of your dinner plate. Your coffee cup and saucer is to the upper right of your plate with your water glass about four inches to the right of that. Is there anything else you want?"

John shook his head. "No Grandma, you've taken care of everything. Thank you." Turning his attention towards his dad, he asked. "Did you get a hold of Brains? Did he say how the repairs were coming on my 'Bird?"

Jeff nodded. "Yeah, I got a hold of him. If everything goes as planned, the repairs should be finished sometime tomorrow afternoon."

"Are they planning on coming home tonight?" Gordon asked.

"No, they are just planning on staying on board Thunderbird Three." Jeff answered. "That way they save the time that a flight down and a flight up would take."

"Makes sense." John interjected.

Jeff nodded. "Yes, it does make sense, but in light of the accident, I wish they would just come home."

"They'll be okay." Virgil tried to reassure their father. "Besides you said that they will be staying on board Thunderbird Three not Five. It'll all work out."

Jeff tried to put on a brave face. "I know I guess I'm just being overly cautious about this."

Grandma shook her head. "No, you're just being a good parent. I know that I still worry about you, and I really don't expect that to stop until one of us is dead."

"And I hope that won't be for a long, long time." Jeff said, smiling.

Grandma laughed. "I may just get stubborn and out-live you all."

The Tracy men joined in the laughter.

"If anyone can do it, you can." Gordon teased. "One thing that I've learned over the years is that you can do anything that you put your mind to."

Grandma reached over and lightly smacked Gordon on the arm. "And you just remember that, young-man." She teased back.

Jeff felt his tension easing some as his sons and mother continued to tease each other. He finally took a few bites and suddenly realized how hungry he was. He dug into his dinner with relish.

* * *

"Yes, M-M-Mr. Tracy." Brains was saying. "I am c-c-confident that Thunderbird Five is s-s-safe to resume t-t-total operations." 

"Thank you Brains.' Jeff, who was sitting behind his desk, said. "I knew that I could count on you."

Brains flushed with embarrassment. "W-w-well, Alan and T-T-Tin-Tin did most of the hard w-w-work. I spent most of the t-t-time getting the p-pr-program loaded and t-t-tested."

"So what was the total damage?" John, who had been sitting across the desk from his dad, asked.

"We r-r-replaced two monitors," Brains replied. "And pr-pr-probably about seven f-f-feet of cable and one m-m-motherboard."

"What about the new safety program?" John asked.

"I h-h-have run numerous t-tests on it." Brains began. "It c-c-correctly identified the pr-problem each time."

John nodded. "That's good. I'm glad that there wasn't more damage. I can't wait to get back to my 'bird."

Jeff shook his head. "But you will wait. You are grounded until I get the okay from Dr. Winter."

"But she doesn't even **know** about my real job." John argued. "How is she going to know when I'm ready to go back?"

"She'll be able to tell me when your eyes are healed." Jeff replied. "I can make up an excuse about needing you for a test pilot to explain the stresses that your body needs to handle."

"Whatever." John said. "I'm going to head to the kitchen for a snack."

"Do you need me to help you?" Jeff asked.

John shook his head. "No, I can make it on my own."

Jeff watched as John carefully made his way to the door. He was doing well until he caught his leg on a small table near the door. John stumbled and caught himself on the door frame. Jeff was instantly on his feet. "John!"

John held his hand up to hold off his father. "Don't!" He commanded. "I'm fine. I need to do this on my own."

Brains saw the look of panic on Jeff's face the instant before he leapt to his feet and called to John. "M-M-Mr. Tracy? What's w-w-wrong?"

"Okay, John, if you're sure that you're all right." Jeff said sitting back down at his desk. He gave Brains a concerned look which also told Brains that he would explain it shortly.

"I **am** all right." John replied. "I'll never forget about that table again. I'll talk to you later." John headed out the door and used the wall to guide himself down the hallway.

Jeff turned back to the screen where Brains was waiting patiently. He only thought for a fraction of a second before reaching a decision. "Give me another minute, Brains. I need to talk to Scott."

Jeff switched the channel on the comm. unit to raise Scott on his watch. Scott's face appeared. "Hey, Dad, what's up?" Scott asked.

"Where are you?" Jeff asked his own question.

"I'm out by the pool. Why?" Scott replied.

"I need you to head to the kitchen for a snack." Jeff said.

"What?" Scott asked in confusion.

"John just left here to get a snack from the kitchen, but he didn't want any help." Jeff tried to explain without having to go into too much detail.

The light dawned on Scott. "So, if I casually run into John in the hallway and walk with him into the kitchen…"

"It would just be a coincidence." Jeff finished for him.

Scott nodded and then said. "Hey look, Dad, I'm getting hungry so I think that I will head to the kitchen for a snack."

Jeff smiled. "You go ahead and do that son. I wouldn't want you to starve."

Scott saw his watch return to normal when his dad cut the communication. He took off running into the villa.

Jeff switched the comm. unit back to the channel to Five. "Sorry, Brains."

"W-w-what happened to John?" Brains asked.

Jeff sighed and shook his head. "He's trying to do too much. He tried to go to the kitchen by himself, but he missed the table by the door and tripped."

"Is h-h-he okay?" Brains asked, understanding Jeff's concern.

"Well, he caught himself but he still refused to have someone help him." Jeff explained. "He even refuses to use the cane. He doesn't want to appear weak. I wish that he would get over this 'pride' that is refusing to allow him to ask for help. Anyways, since I am still concerned about John, I arranged for Scott to coincidently meet him in the hall. He'll make sure that he reaches the kitchen safely."

"I h-hope that John doesn't r-r-realize that you pl-plotted against him." Brains said. "H-h-he won't be very h-h-happy."

"I'd rather have him unhappy than hurt." Jeff responded. "Look, let's get back to business. Where's Alan?"

"He's on b-b-board Thunderbird Three." Brains said. "He is s-s-securing the tools and unused s-s-supplies."

"Have him call me when he is finished." Jeff told Brains. "I think that I will just have him stay up there since Five is functional and safe again."

"F-A-B" Brains said as he disconnected the comm.

Jeff busied himself with paperwork while he waited for Alan to call him back. The comm. beeped and the eyes on Alan's portrait began to flash. Jeff looked at the clock to see that it had only been eight minutes since he had talked to Brains.

Jeff keyed the comm. "Hello, Alan."

Alan nodded. "Brains said that you wanted to talk to me."

"Yes, son, I did." Jeff replied. "I want to get International Rescue back to its normal functioning mode, so I would like you to stay up there to man Five."

Alan was shocked. He wasn't sure how to take this request. Was this his dad's way of saying that he still trusted him? Or was this his dad's way of getting rid of him? "For how long?" He asked.

Jeff shook his head. "I don't know for sure. I have to go over everything and try to revise the schedules. Is it a problem for you to stay?"

Alan shrugged. "I was hoping to have a chance to talk to you."

"About the accident?" Jeff questioned.

Alan gave a small nod. "That, and a few other things."

Jeff sighed. He knew that he would have to tread lightly on this subject. "Look, Alan, you made a mistake, and it has had some dire consequences. I'm not going to lie to you. At first I was angry with you, but now that I've had a chance to think things through, I've calmed down. Now, I'm not saying that you won't be held accountable for your actions, but I want to make sure that the 'punishment fits the crime'. I just have to figure out what that is. We can discuss all this once you do get home. Is that okay with you?"

"I guess, but…" Alan's voice trailed off.

"But what?" Jeff pressed.

Alan shook his head. "Nothing…well, nothing important at least. It can wait."

"Are you sure?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Alan said feeling a bit relieved that his dad at least still seemed to trust him.

"Okay, back to the original question." Jeff said. "Can you stay up on Five, so we can get International Rescue fully operational again?"

Alan nodded. "Sure I can stay. Is there anything else?"

Jeff nodded. "Yes, there is one more thing. Brains installed that new safety program up there. Every morning, I want you to run a scan of the systems and then send the results to me."

Alan blanched slightly. Obviously his dad did not trust him as much as he thought. He only asked him to stay because he was already up here. His dad didn't really trust him. He only cared about International Rescue. It was simply just a matter of expediency. Well, if that's the way that his dad wanted it, then so be it. He quickly schooled his features. Woodenly he responded. "F-A-B, Father."

Even though he had tried to hide it, Jeff saw the hurt look that had crossed Alan's face. "Alan, this isn't punishment. It's a new program, and I just want to have the statistics so that Brains can go over them, and we can make sure that the program is working correctly."

Alan nodded. Even though his eyes still said that he didn't believe Jeff, he quietly said. "Sure, Dad, whatever."

Jeff began to rethink the wisdom of leaving Alan up there. Obviously this incident had shaken Alan terribly. He hadn't been home to observe Alan over the past few days, and apparently, his other sons had been so concerned about John that they also had overlooked it.

Jeff cleared his throat. "Look, Alan, what happened to John…"

Just then an emergency call came in effectively ending the conversation. "Hang on, Dad. We have a call coming in. I'll be right back." Alan said as he switched the comm. channels to answer the emergency call. A few minutes later Alan was back.

"Okay, Dad, there's been a major earthquake in Afghanistan." Alan dived right into the explanation. "It sounds really bad. There are lots of collapsed buildings. Plus there are some fires from gas leaks. There are major communication breaks in the area so definite damage reports are unavailable at this time. I'm downloading the co-ordinates into Thunderbird One and Thunderbird Two right now."

Jeff hit the alarm button to summon his other sons. "Okay, Alan, the Thunderbirds are on their way. Keep me informed as you get any new information."

"F-A-B, Dad." Alan replied.

"And Alan," Jeff added. "I want to finish this conversation once the rescue is over."

Alan nodded. "Fine, I'll talk to you later." He disconnected the comm. and concentrated fully on the rescue intel that was coming in.

* * *

The talk that Jeff wanted to have never materialized. That first rescue lasted almost three days. Over the course of the next two weeks, they were called out another six times to things like a train derailment, another avalanche, multiple tornadoes raging across Nebraska and Iowa, and a forest fire that lasted over two days itself. Penny had come to the Island for just one day. Once she had found out how active the boys were, she decided to leave with a promise to come back once things quieted down. 

Alan woke up on Five and looked at the clock. It read 9:11 am. He had hit the bed shortly before three am when the guys had returned from rescuing two kids that had been trapped in an old silver mine in northern California. Alan felt sorry for those kids. They had gotten trapped around four in the afternoon, but their parents didn't even notice that they were missing until around eight when it was getting dark and they hadn't shown up yet. The parents then spent the next two hours searching themselves before they called the local authorities. Then the police instituted their own search but came up empty. They were pretty sure that they were in the old mines, but they needed help to scan the interiors of the caves. It was almost midnight by the time the local authorities put in a call to International Rescue. By the time that the rescue was complete, those boys had been trapped for almost twelve hours. They were tired, cold, hungry, and most of all scared, but otherwise they were unharmed. It was three in the morning before the Tracys had returned to the Island. (given the flight time and differences in the time zones.) Jeff had postponed the debriefing until after the guys had a chance to sleep. Alan knew that he was lucky that he was able to head to bed right away. The others had to spend some time cleaning the Thunderbirds and prepping them for the next call, whenever that should happen.

Alan hoped that his brothers were still in bed getting some much needed sleep. He climbed out of bed and headed towards the shower. An hour later, Alan was sitting down in front of the command console after he had showered, dressed, and even eaten a light breakfast. He did a quick glance at the different monitors. He was relieved to see that there were no natural disasters looming. Hopefully there won't be any man-made disasters either. After these past two weeks, he figured that his brothers needed some down time not just for their physical well-being but for their emotional well-being also.

Alan turned his attention back to his daily chores. First up is the safety scan. His dad had tried to convince him that it was simply a test of the new protocol, but after two weeks of no changes showing up, his dad still wanted the scan which only served to reinforce Alan's feeling that his dad didn't trust him. Once the scan completed, Alan took a few minutes to look over the information. As usual, all the readouts were normal. Alan forwarded the report to his father. He keyed the comm. to let his father know that the scan had been run and the results were waiting for him.

* * *

Jeff sat at his desk, sipping a steaming hot cup of coffee. Kyrano wasn't real happy when Jeff had requested regular coffee instead of decaf, but Jeff wanted the caffeine to wake him up. The rescue last night had lasted into the early morning, and he was still feeling drowsy from the shortened amount of sleep. He wished that he could've remained in bed like his sons, but he needed to get some work done for Tracy Industries. He needed it for some meetings that he had arranged for the following week. These were meetings that really should have been done last week, but between John's accident and then the almost non-stop calls for International Rescue, they had gotten pushed aside. Now, the business could not be ignored any longer, so here he was at his desk trying to get caught up. 

Two hours later, a noise at the door caught his attention. He looked up and saw John making his way into the room. His first instinct was to try to help him, but John had made it clear that he wanted to maneuver the house by himself. Over the past two weeks, John had actually learned how to get around fairly well by himself, although he still did trip occasionally.

"Good morning, John." Jeff said. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm fine. How are you doing?" John replied.

"Okay" Jeff said wearily.

John smiled. "Oh, now that's convincing. What are you doing?"

"Just some Tracy Industry business." Jeff replied. "Pretty boring stuff actually, but it's necessary work."

John began to move closer towards his father's desk. "Is there anything that I can do to help?"

Jeff shook his head but then realized that John couldn't see the gesture. "No, it's mainly just double checking the numbers on these reports. I'll need them for my meetings next week."

"I see." John began, and then paused before he continued. "Well, actually, I don't, which is making me feel absolutely worthless."

Jeff's face took on a pained look as he heard the despair in John's voice. Calmly, Jeff tried to encourage his son. "I know that this is very frustrating for you right now, but you need to be patient. The doctor said that your eyes had to be bandaged for six weeks. You're already two weeks into that. I know that four weeks seem like a long time, but you can handle it. I know you can. We'll know a lot more once the bandages come off."

"Yeah, we'll know if my life is completely ruined." John grumbled.

"You can't think like that." Jeff tried to impress on John. "The doctor was fairly confident that you would get most, if not all, of your vision back. You have to hold on to that hope. You need to trust in her judgment."

"What if she's wrong?" John argued in frustration. "What if this is a permanent condition? Shouldn't I be facing that possible reality? Shouldn't I…"

During his ranting, John headed even closer to his father's desk. Unfortunately, in his emotional state, he was not being careful, and he caught his leg on the corner of the desk. He lost his balance and began to fall forward. He put his hands out to try to catch himself. However, that action caused him to knock over the full water pitcher that had been setting on the desk.

Jeff set the pitcher back upright and began grabbing the paperwork off the desk and shook the water off them before it soaked completely in. He was slightly amazed at the string of profanity that was pouring out of John's mouth. Plus it wasn't just in English. Jeff was sure that he caught some words in French and German with maybe a Russian or Chinese word thrown in too. For all Jeff knew, John could've been making up his own curse words. Jeff set the papers off to the side and grabbed John by the shoulders and guided him around the desk, forcing him into his chair.

"John, you need to calm down." Jeff ordered. "This isn't going to help."

John stopped cursing and took a deep breath. Angrily he spat out. "Help? There is nothing that can help me. You have no idea what I've been going through. You have **absolutely** no idea."

Jeff patted John's arm. "Stay here. I'm going to get some more water and something to calm you down."

"I don't **need** to calm down." John almost yelled at his dad. "I **need** to **see**!"

"Well, stay here anyways." Jeff ordered. "I want a chance to talk to you."

"Talk isn't going to help." John said disgustedly.

"Humor me." Jeff said. "I'll be right back."

"Fine, whatever." John grumbled.

* * *

John sat alone drumming his fingers on the desk. What was taking so long? Of course since he couldn't see the clock, he wasn't sure how long his dad had been gone. He debated about leaving, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to disobey his dad's order. 

John jumped when the comm. unit began to beep. Just out of reflex, he reached over and keyed the unit. "What, Alan?" He snapped.

Alan was startled to see John at the desk instead of his dad. This was the first time that he had seen John since he had been taken to the hospital. His feeling of guilt slammed back into him as he took in John's bandaged face. Alan swallowed hard and stumbled over his words. "Hey John, I wasn't expecting you."

"Why not?" John replied angrily. "I'm not a complete invalid after all."

Alan was a bit surprised at John's harsh tone. Their dad had said that John was doing fairly well both physically and emotionally. "It must just be me." Alan thought. "He blames his blindness on me, and he hates me."

Alan had to swallow back the lump that had formed in his throat. "That's not what I meant. I guess I'm just so used to dad always being at his desk."

"Well, surprise, Alan," John sneered. "Dad does have other things to do. He's not chained to this desk. So why did you call? Is there a rescue call?"

Alan shook his head. "No, I just wanted to let him know that I sent him today's safety report. Everything is registering within normal parameters."

John bitterly replied. "Too bad you weren't always this conscientious."

"What?" Alan asked, but as soon as he said it, John's meaning dawned on him. He wished that he could take it back, but John was already on a rant.

"What I mean is IF you had done your job, I wouldn't have gotten hurt." John fumed. "IF you had been more careful, I wouldn't be blind right now. IF you had 'remembered' a possible life-and-death malfunction, I wouldn't be trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. IF you had been 'conscientious', I wouldn't be going through this hell. IF you had…"

"John?" Jeff questioned as he entered the room. "What's going on?"

"Your spoiled brat called down to tell daddy what a good little boy he was by **just doing his job**." John snapped.

Jeff turned towards the monitor and saw his youngest son. Alan did nothing to hide the anguish that he was feeling. "John, please, I'm sorry…" Alan began.

"You're sorry? You're sorry!" John yelled. "A fat lot good that does me now, you selfish, snot-nosed little brat. If you were here, I'd teach you a thing or two. I'd…"

Jeff could see that Alan was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. "John, that's enough." He said.

"Like hell it is!" John spat at his dad. "It is nowhere near enough."

"**JOHN! THAT IS ENOUGH.**" Jeff said in a tone that John knew not to argue with. Jeff was torn. Both his sons needed him, but how was he supposed to choose who to deal with first. He turned towards the monitor. "Alan…"

Alan, however, cut him off. "It's okay, Dad. Take care of John. He needs you."

Jeff nodded. "Okay, but I'll want to talk to you later."

Jeff watched as Alan brushed away a tear that had escaped. Quietly Alan said, "F-A-B" and then he quickly disconnected the comm.

* * *

Author's Note - Yes, yes, we know. That doesn't sound like our "normal" calm-headed, sensitive John, but after all he is frustrated over what is happening in his life. (Convert knows the feeling. She is a tad bit frustrated today.) So we have to give him a bit of a break. Poor Alan, though, this was the LAST thing that he needed.

Okay folks, here is our standard THANK YOU to all our reviewers. We really do appreciate them all whether you sign in or leave anonymous ones. We cannot say that enough. We have our faithful reviewers, but we would gladly welcome anymore who want to leave a review for us.


	13. Breakdown

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 13 – Breakdown

Jeff placed a hand on John's shoulder. "Come on; let's move to the sofa so we can talk."

John shrugged his father's hand off his shoulder. "I don't want to talk. It won't help anything."

"Please, humor me." Jeff replied. "Besides, you may be surprised at how much it may help."

John sighed. "Fine, but no promises." He stood up and placed a hand on Jeff's arm. "Lead the way. We wouldn't want a repeat of the earlier incident."

"Okay, if you want me to." Jeff carefully guided John to the sofa. Once John had settled on the couch, Jeff placed a mug of hot chocolate in his hands. "I know you said that you didn't want anything, but I still brought you some hot chocolate anyhow. I was kind of hoping that it would make you feel better. You know…the idea of 'comfort' food."

John took a small sip of his drink. "Thanks, Dad."

Jeff sat down next to John and took a sip of the coffee that he had brought for himself. He thought for a moment as he tried to carefully choose his words. "I'm sorry, John. I guess I missed something. I thought that you were handling the situation better than you obviously are."

John shook his head. "No, you didn't miss anything. I thought I was handling it better. As a matter of fact, I demanded it of myself. I guess I was just fooling myself too."

"Then what happened today?" Jeff asked.

John sighed. "I don't know. I guess it started this morning when I tripped on my way to my bathroom. I got really frustrated. I mean, I've spent the last couple of weeks trying to learn how to maneuver around the house by myself, but if I can't even get around my own bedroom, the one room that I should be most familiar with, what's the use. Nothing that I've done these last couple of weeks has made any difference. Why should I keep trying? I just suddenly feel so useless."

"So, you had a bad morning, but you are **not** useless." Jeff emphasized.

"Yes, I am." John cut in. "I can't do my job. I can't do research for my new book. I can't even look at the stars, or take a walk on the beach by myself which are two things that I used to love to do. Go ahead, tell me. Just what good am I? Huh? I can't work or enjoy my hobbies. So, now what? Just what am I supposed to do with myself? Come on, I'd love to hear it."

Jeff carefully thought again. He needed to reassure John without disregarding his feelings. "Let me ask you a question. When Virgil was injured after being shot down by the Sentinel, did you consider him to be useless?"

"Of course not." John answered.

Jeff pressed on. "Why not? He wasn't able to do his job. For a while, his headaches from the concussion kept him in bed."

"But he was recovering from his injuries." John argued.

"And so are you." Jeff replied.

"How do we know?" John asked.

"What?" Jeff asked in confusion.

"How do we really know that I'm recovering?" John tried to explain. "How do we **really** know that my eyes are getting better?"

Jeff cleared his throat. "Well, at this point in your recovery, we can only go by the doctor's prognosis, she was pretty confident that you would recover completely."

"No, that's not what she said." John snapped at his father. "Her exact words were 'cautiously optimistic.' There are no guarantees. I could spend these six weeks with my eyes bandaged and still not be able to see once they come off. I may never be able to see again."

"But the odds are in your favor." Jeff tried to calm his son. "You have hope. You just need to hang on to that hope."

"But I'm tired of 'hanging on'." John replied in frustration. "I'm tired of plastering a smile on my face and pretending that everything is okay because it is not. My life has been turned upside down by an accident…an accident that could have been prevented."

"Was that why you were yelling at Alan?" Jeff asked.

John turned his head and didn't answer his father.

When John didn't answer, Jeff continued. "You were saying some pretty awful things to him a moment ago. Do you really feel that way? At the hospital, you were standing up against Scott in favor of Alan. Has that changed? Do you blame Alan for your injuries?"

"Yes…no…I don't know." John snapped. He set his mug down and rested his head in his hands. "I'm just so frustrated. I don't know what I am feeling anymore. I am just so confused. When I heard his voice, I just kind of lost it. I guess maybe there is a part of me that does blame him; otherwise I wouldn't have said those things. Those feelings had to have come from somewhere."

Jeff gripped John's shoulder. "I can understand your frustration. I know that…"

"You know?" John erupted in anger. "How can you say that? Have you ever been blind? I don't **think** so. So don't tell me that you know how I am feeling. You don't know anything. You have **no idea** what I'm going through!"

"But I do." Gordon's voice came from the door.

Startled, Jeff looked up. "Gordon, I didn't hear you come in."

Gordon nodded. "I know. You two were in a pretty intense conversation. Do you mind if I talk to John?"

"Go ahead, I don't mind." Jeff said.

"Well, I do." John said, standing up. "I'm pretty tired. I think that I will head back to my room."

Gordon placed a hand gently on John's arm. "Please, John, let me try to help you. Just give me five minutes."

John sighed and sat back down. "Fine, five minutes. You better make it good."

Jeff moved to one of the nearby chairs so that Gordon could take his spot on the sofa. Gordon sat sideways with his back against the arm of the couch. He could see the rigidity in John's posture and knew that it was not going to be easy to get through to his brother.

Clearing his throat, Gordon began. "First off, I want to apologize. I guess we are so used to you handling every situation with ease that we just figured that you were handling this situation. I, of all people, should have known better, and for that, I'm sorry."

"Gordon, what are you talking about?" John groused.

Gordon sighed. This wasn't going as planned. "All right, so I'm not explaining myself very well. So how about just letting me rant for a bit and maybe my meaning will come out."

"How about we do this at another time?" John replied. "I have a feeling that this is going to take longer than your five minutes."

"Please, John," Gordon implored. "I'll try to make it brief. Please, I think it may help you. I want to help."

John leaned his head against the back of the couch. "Okay, fine, have your say."

Gordon paused for a moment before continuing. "Okay, here it goes. I understand your feelings of frustration, your feelings of anger, and your feelings of confusion. The uncertainty of the situation can be scary, and it's okay to be scared. It is a perfectly normal human response to a traumatic injury. A lot of people claim to know how you are feeling, but they don't. Unless you experience it, you could never know what it is like. I can say that I **know** because I do. I've been there. I've gone through the emotions."

"Gordon…" John began, but Gordon interrupted.

"Please, let me finish." Gordon said. "When I woke up in the hospital after the hydrofoil accident, I thought my life was over. In a blink of an eye, everything changed for me. I was in incredible pain, at least the areas that I could feel. I couldn't feel my legs, and the doctors were saying that I would never walk again. I felt utterly useless, especially after I was informed that I was getting a medical discharge from WASP. They didn't even ask me if that was what I wanted. They just discharged me. There was no offer of a desk job or anything like that. It was simply: 'you're damaged goods and we can't use you.' Or at least that's how it seemed to me. I felt like all the things that I held dear were being taken away from me: first my ability to walk, my swimming, then my job, also my plans for joining International Rescue when it became operational. I was even at a point where I figured that since I couldn't join International Rescue like everyone else that the family wouldn't want me around. That you guys would think of me as some kind of a slacker."

John seemed shocked. "Gordon, we would never have felt that way."

"I know." Gordon replied. "But at the time, I wasn't thinking clearly. All I was thinking about was what had been taken away from me. I tried to make people think that everything was okay, but that only made matters worse. I was an emotional mess. My moods would swing wildly. I couldn't do anything for a while after first waking up. I was stuck in that damn bed, and then for a while I was stuck in the wheelchair. Without the use of my legs, I couldn't even swim to relieve the stress. I was afraid, frustrated and angry. I was at a point that I was just ready to give up. There was 'no hope' according to the doctors, so I figured. Why fight? Why try? Everything that I knew, everything that I was, was gone. But then you guys were there, my family. You were there to support me. Even when I was mean and spiteful to you guys, you stayed with me. You didn't try to convince me with a lot of 'platitudes' that everything was going to be okay. Instead you showed me in word and deeds that even though things would change that it would still be okay. You pointed out all the things that I still had, the things that I could still do. You didn't try to 'boss' me into your thinking, but you helped me find my own way. Eventually, I turned the feelings of despair and anger into determination and resolution to prove the doctors wrong. I decided that I was going to do anything I had to in order to walk again. Now, I can't change what happened to you, but I am going to be here to support you in any way that I can. You'll get through this. I know that you will."

"Just because it worked out for you, doesn't mean that things will work out for me." John said. "We are different people in different circumstances."

"I know, but…" Gordon began.

John interrupted. "There is no 'but'. Yeah, you had a rough time, but at lest you were able to do something. You had rehab. You had exercises that you could do to strengthen your back. What can I do? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. I'm not allowed to 'see' anything. I'm not allowed to open my eyes when the bandages are changed. Hell, Brains even changes them in a darkened room just in case. He doesn't want to risk even the slightest light getting in them. There are no exercises for me to do to help me see. I'm just stuck in the dark…possibly forever."

"But don't you understand?" Gordon argued. "You are **doing** something. By following the doctor's instructions, you are improving your chances of a full recovery."

"How can we be sure?" John countered. "How can the doctor be sure? The recovery percentage may be high, but that doesn't mean much to that rare person that doesn't recover. It's only been two weeks since I haven't seen anything. I can't imagine what my life would be like without ever seeing again."

"Then don't." Gordon interrupted. "Don't try to imagine your life like that. You have hope. The odds are well, well in your favor. You need to remember that for the next four weeks. You **have** to **hold** on to that hope."

John sighed. "I'm just so tired. I'm tired of trying to fight my fears. I don't want to let it beat me. Really I don't, but it is. I can't stop it. I just don't feel like I have any fight left in me. I just don't know what to do anymore."

Gordon scooted over next to John. He pulled John into an embrace. "You don't have to fight it alone. You can lean on us. Lean on me. I'll be here for you."

John returned the embrace, but then he crumpled against Gordon, burying his face against Gordon's chest. Gordon could tell by the hitch in his breath that John was crying long before the bandages on his eyes became damp with the caught tears. "It's alright John. Just let it out." Gordon said quietly and comfortingly, while gently rubbing his brother's back.

John lost track of time as he cried into his brothers chest, venting his pent up emotions. Finally his sobs subsided. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break down like that."

Gordon released John. "Hey, it's okay. It's all part of being human. Guys, especially, don't like to believe it, but it is a healthy release of emotions. I know. I did my share of crying during my recovery. I'm just sorry that I didn't notice your distress earlier. We could have had this talk sooner rather than later."

"I understand. You have been pretty busy over the last couple of weeks." John began only to be interrupted by an incoming call from Alan. "Speaking of business…" John muttered.

"I'll get it." Jeff said as he moved back to his desk. Keying the comm. he spoke to Alan. "This is Tracy Island, go ahead, Alan."

"We got an emergency call from a mining company outside of Negaunee, Michigan." Alan began to explain. "Apparently three teenagers went down into an old non-working iron mine."

"Let me guess." Jeff interrupted. "They got trapped."

Jeff pushed the button to signal his other sons. Muttering under his breath, he said. "I don't know who to be more disgusted with, the mining company who didn't seal up their old tunnels properly, or the teenagers who didn't have the common sense to stay away from a possibly dangerous situation."

Jeff turned his attention back to Alan. Although out of the corner of his eye, he saw both Scott and Virgil enter the room. "Okay, Alan, tell them that the Thunderbirds are on their way. Also tell them to have maps of the mine system ready for when Thunderbird One gets there."

"F-A-B" Alan replied as he disconnected the comm.

Turning to his other sons, Jeff continued. "Okay, boys, you're heading to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan in the states. It's another mine rescue. Some teens got themselves trapped in an old iron mine. Scott head out and meet with the representative of the mining company. Look over the maps and find a safe route into that mine. Virgil, you'll need the mole. Head on out, and keep me informed of your progress."

"F-A-B" Scott and Virgil responded as they each headed to their respective ships.

Jeff meet Gordon's questioning gaze. He gave a slight nod toward the door. Gordon smiled his understanding. Addressing his brother, he said. "Hey, John, it looks like it's just the two of us for breakfast. How about we find out what wonderful creation that Kyrano has for us this morning? I'm starving."

"Sounds like a plan." John replied. "But first I better have Brains change my bandages. They've gotten damp thanks to my emotional outburst."

Gordon began to guide John from the room. "Okay, Brains first, then breakfast, after that we can go sit by the pool. The sun will do you some good."

"The sun?" John smiled a bit.

Gordon smiled back. "Yeah, the sun is shining brightly. It's a postcard picture perfect day."

"Well, in that case, how can I refuse?" John said. He hesitated a moment and turned back towards his father. "Can you let me know when the rescue is over? I'd like a chance to apologize to Alan. I took my frustrations out on him. I need to let him know that I didn't mean the things that I said."

Jeff said. "Of course, I'm sure that he will understand."

"I hope so." Gordon put in. "Alan's been taking this pretty hard. He knows that he made a mistake and he is quietly taking all the blame and anger that is being thrown at him. I'm getting worried about him."

John sighed. "And I just added more. How could I do that to my brother?"

Gordon gripped John's arm. "You couldn't help it. You had been trying to keep your feelings bottled up and eventually it had to blow. It happens."

John shook his head. "That's no excuse. I said some really horrible things to him that hurt him deeply, I'm sure. How could I have been so mean?"

Gordon gave his dad a slightly apprehensive look. Now there were two that were beating themselves up over this whole mess.

Jeff nodded to acknowledge Gordon's concerns. Trying to comfort his injured son, he began, "Okay, look, I'll talk to Alan and feel him out. I'm sure that things will be better once we've talked everything out."

"Come on, John. Breakfast is waiting for us." Gordon said, tugging slightly on his arm.

"Okay," John replied simply as he and Gordon left the lounge.

* * *

The rescue went extremely easy. Jeff wished they could all be this easy. The teens were uninjured when they were rescued. They were then turned over to the local authorities. The Thunderbirds left the area with a promise from the teens to never put themselves in a dangerous situation like that again and from the mining company that they would double check all the old mines to make sure that the entrances were secure. Jeff held little confidence that either promise would be kept. Alan was just finishing his report. 

"Thunderbird One should arrive back in approximately 28.7 minutes." Alan was saying. "Thunderbird Two should be there in 49.2 minutes. The rescue was successfully completed at 1:12 pm standard International Rescue time."

"F-A-B, Alan." Jeff replied. "But before you sign off, I'd like to talk to you."

Alan flinched. He should have known that this was coming. He should have expected his dad to be upset after the incident with John this morning. He never should have left a message for his dad, especially about the safety protocols. He should have known that would upset John. He should've just called back later. Steeling himself for what was to come, he simply said. "Okay."

Jeff took a deep breath. "I wanted to discuss this morning's incident…"

Alan interrupted. "I'm sorry. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have tried to talk to John. I didn't mean to upset him. I won't do it again. I…"

Jeff was stunned at Alan's immediate confession. He interrupted his young son. "Alan, stop. I wasn't going to blame you. As a matter of fact, John said that he wants to apologize to you. He said that he took his frustrations out on you. I could see on your face when he was yelling at you that you were hurt by the things that he said. I wanted to see how you were doing."

Alan shook his head. "Don't worry about me. It's John who needs us. Of course, he's frustrated. Who wouldn't be in his situation? I can only imagine what he is feeling. To know that he is never going to see again…well that is a major life-altering event."

"Never going to see?" Jeff asked in confusion. "We don't know that that the blindness is permanent. We won't know anything for sure until the bandages come off next month, but the odds are good that he will make a full recovery."

"What?" This time Alan was the one who was confused. "But Scott said…oh, never mind."

"Scott said what?" Jeff pressed.

Alan just shook his head again. "Nothing, I'm sure that I just misunderstood what he had said."

Realization dawned on Jeff. "Alan, do you mean that you have spent the last two weeks thinking that John was permanently blind?"

Alan adverted his gaze and just nodded his head.

Jeff's gaze softened. "Oh Alan, I am sorry. If I had only known… You must have been going through hell these last couple of weeks. I should have talked to you about the accident when I first got back, but we got busy and I kept putting it off."

"It's okay." Alan replied quietly. "I understand. You only had so much time, and you had to prioritize things. It doesn't bother me."

"Well, it bothers me." Jeff said. "You're my son. You should take precedent over anything else. Instead, I'm guilty of the same crime that you are being blamed for."

Alan gave his dad a startled look. "What do you mean? What 'crime'?"

Jeff sighed. "Well, you let yourself get distracted by a rescue and John got hurt. I've done the same thing. I've been preoccupied by business and I've allowed you to be hurt because of it."

Alan studied his father's face trying to decide if he was being sincere. Alan felt torn. He wanted to believe his father, but he was afraid to open himself up to being betrayed again. Just then, his dad's attention was caught by an incoming call.

"Hang on a minute, Alan. I'll be right back." Jeff said as he reached over to change the comm. channel. A few moments later, Jeff was back, with an uneasy look on his face. "I'm sorry Alan, but I have to go for right now. Thunderbird One's engine is overheating."

Alan became alarmed. Even though his brother hated him, he was still concerned about him. "What? How bad? Does he know what is causing it?" He questioned his dad, but one questioned was only asked in Alan's own mind. "Why didn't he follow proper protocol and send the distress call through Thunderbird Five?"

The voice of his fears answered Alan immediately. "He didn't call you because he doesn't trust you. None of them do, not Scott, not your dad. They aren't concerned about you. If you believe them when they claim to be, you are setting yourself up again. They will hurt you again. They don't care about you."

Jeff was oblivious to the thoughts that were running through Alan's mind. He just shook his head and answered. "He doesn't know for sure. Slowing down has helped some. Thunderbird Two will catch up to him in a few minutes. Brains is on his way up to help assess the situation."

Alan nodded his head. As much as he wanted to be angry at his family, he couldn't get past the fear that he was feeling. Another one of his brothers was in trouble, and he was helpless to do anything about it. Swallowing back the lump in his throat, he said. "Okay, please let me know how things go."

"Don't worry, I will." Jeff said as he disconnected the comm.

Alan stared at the blank screen. He ran a hand nervously through his hair. To the empty control center of Thunderbird Five, he said. "Sure, 'don't worry'. Like that is going to happen."

* * *

Author's Note - Oh fine, NOW what have we done? What is wrong with Thunderbird One? Will Scott make it back to the Island safely? The next chapter will hold the answers. Poor Alan, again he's been set aside, and just when Jeff was begining to make a bit of head way with his youngest child. Will Alan ever learn to trust his family again?

We want to thank all our reviewers. We really do appreciate them. We say that every week, but it is very important to us that we do acknowledge that fact. They are an encouragement to us, and we want to let everyone know how we feel.


	14. Repairs

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 14 – Repairs

Scott made it back to the Island, and carefully landed Thunderbird One back in her silo. He immediately started to run the normal post-flight checks. He left the cockpit, but instead of going into the lounge he took a lift down to the base of the silo. He changed into a pair of work overalls while the engines on Thunderbird One cooled down. Brains and Jeff joined him there almost immediately.

"Did you find anything?" Jeff asked.

Scott shook his head. "Not really. The only thing that I know at this point is that the coolant air flow was only about two-thirds of what it should have been. Once the engines are finished cooling, I'm going to check the flow regulators to see if they're stuck."

"Did the c-c-computer show a problem with the r-r-regulator?" Brains asked.

Scott shook his head. "That's what was weird. I got the warning that the engines were over-heating, but there was no warning to indicate a malfunction with the coolant system. According to the computer, the regulator was completely open, but the moving air volume was low. So the only thing that I can think of is that the regulator got stuck."

"But why wouldn't the computer recognize that it wasn't completely open? Jeff questioned.

Scott sighed. "I don't know. We need to look into that problem. Obviously, this must be a compound problem."

Brains thought for a moment. "G-g-give me a minute, S-S-Scott. I think I m-m-might have an i-i-idea." He then took the lift up to and entered the cockpit. About ten minutes later, Brains left Thunderbird One and exited the silo via the door to the lounge.

"Now, what do you think he's doing?" Scott asked.

"He's probably heading to his lab. I just hope that means that he found the problem." Jeff replied.

"I wish that he would have told us." Scott said. "Should we call him and ask?"

Jeff shook his head. "Nah, let's give him a few minutes to come back. If he doesn't, then I'll call him."

Scott nodded. "Okay, but while we wait, I'm going to access the regulator."

"But Brains asked you to wait." Jeff began to argue. "What if you mess up something that Brains has already checked?"

"I won't take it apart until we hear from Brains." Scott explained. "I just want to open the compartment so if whatever Brains is onto doesn't work out, I'll be ready to take it apart." He then set about working on Thunderbird One's tail section.

About fifteen minutes later, Brains returned and went to the cockpit. A few minutes later, Scott's watch beeped and Brains' face appeared on it. "S-S-Scott, could you g-g-get to the air flow r-r-regulator. I need you to s-s-see if it is w-w-working properly."

"All ready done, Brains." Scott replied. "Just tell me what you want me to do."

Brains began to explain. "I'm g-g-going to open the r-r-regulator using these c-c-controls. I need you to t-t-tell me if it opens c-c-correctly."

"You got it Brains." Scott replied.

Scott and Brains spent the next few minutes opening and closing the regulator. Finally, they were satisfied that it was working properly. Scott began to close off the open compartment.

"Well, it looks like Brains fixed it, whatever was wrong." Scott said.

"Well, I intend to find out." Jeff said. "Once you are finished here, come up to the lounge. We have two mission debriefings to do. Plus, we need to analyze this malfunction."

Scott nodded. "Okay, I'll be up there in about twenty minutes."

* * *

The debriefing was well underway in the lounge. Usually Jeff sat behind his desk while his sons took up various seats around the room, but this time he joined Virgil on the couch. Kyrano had brought them a light lunch to eat while they talked. Even John had joined them for the meeting. It had not escaped Jeff's attention that when John had joined them, he had his cane with him. Gordon had obviously convinced John to change his 'prideful' mind about it. Jeff shook his head in amazement. He would have to ask Gordon about his tactics. It may be useful when any of the boys get stubborn in the future. 

Jeff sighed as he glanced at the notes that he made on the previous night's rescue. "Okay, is there anything else that we need to discuss about this rescue?"

Virgil and Gordon shook their heads.

"No, I think that we covered everything." Scott said.

Jeff closed that folder and opened the folder on the day's earlier rescue. "Okay, on to today's rescue."

"Which was a repeat of yesterday's rescue." Scott said.

"Except that it was an iron mine in Michigan instead of a silver mine in California." Virgil said.

Scott laughed a bit. "I'm just glad that neither rescue resulted in any injuries."

Jeff nodded. "You're right about that, but we still have to go over each rescue individually. Okay, Scott, procedure?"

Scott sobered. "Well, first, I used the scanner to locate the trapped teenagers. I coordinated with the mining company representative. We located the coordinates on their maps. The maps showed another shaft running parallel to the first one. While we waited for Thunderbird Two to arrive, a mining engineer and I checked out the second shaft and determined that it was stable enough for the mole to maneuver through the shaft and then burrow across. Which is what we did. The teens were rescued and brought to the surface. We turned them over to the local authorities."

Jeff jotted down some notes. "And you are sure there were no injuries?"

Scott nodded his head. "Yeah, the teens were more embarrassed about having to be rescued than anything else."

Virgil laughed. "Yeah, until they found out that the mining company was going to press 'trespassing' charges against them. Then they were scared."

"Except for that one." Scott said. "He tried to be all 'blustery'. I have a feeling that it was his idea to go into the mine in the first place."

"Well, I hope that this incident teaches the other two the importance of choosing the right kind of friends." Jeff said. "Virgil, how was it on your end?"

Virgil shrugged. "This rescue was easier than last night. Like Scott said. I used the second shaft to get into position. Then all I had to do was tunnel through about twenty-two feet of rock to get to them."

"Any problems with your equipment?" Jeff continued his questioning.

"Nope, everything worked fine." Virgil answered.

Jeff closed the folder on the Michigan rescue. "Okay, that brings us to the malfunction of Thunderbird One. Brains, you seemed to narrow down the problem pretty quickly. What went wrong?"

"A m-m-mirco-chip was burned out." Brains explained. "B-b-because of that, the r-r-regulator only opened p-p-partway even though the c-c-computer read it as open c-c-completely."

"A micro-chip." Jeff sighed. "This is the second time that we've had a problem not because of a systems failure but because of a component failure. I find this unsettling. Brains, you developed the safety protocol program for Five. I would like you to develop a similar program for the other Thunderbirds. We need to forestall any more problems like these."

Brains nodded. "I w-w-will get started r-r-right away, but it w-w-will take some t-t-time since I will h-h-have to design each p-p-program for its specific T-T-Thunderbird."

Just then the home phone unit began to chime. Jeff began to stand but Scott waved him back sown. "You and Brains finish up. I'll get the phone." He said as he headed towards his father's desk.

Jeff and Brains lowered their voices while Scott was on the phone. They decided that obviously Thunderbird One and Thunderbird Two were to be the first ones to get the safety program, but there was some discussion about which should be done next, Thunderbird Three or Thunderbird Four.

Gordon obviously wanted Thunderbird Four done next. "Come on, Thunderbird Four goes out on more rescues than Three."

Brains shook his head. "B-b-but we need Th-Th-Thunderbird Three for supply r-r-runs to Thunderbird Five. Plus s-sp-space is not as f-f-forgiving as the ocean is when it c-c-comes to dealing with m-m-malfunctions."

Gordon rolled his eyes. "Sure, that's easy for you to say. You're not the one who's hundreds and sometimes thousands of feet under water in her."

"Look," Jeff broke in. "We all agree that Thunderbird One and Thunderbird Two will be done first. Let's concentrate on that right now. I'll make a decision about which one is next based upon what is going on at the time."

"What do you mean?" Gordon asked.

"Well," Jeff explained. "If, when Brains finishes with Two, there is a hurricane brewing or something else that might require Thunderbird Four that has arisen; I'll have Brains work on her."

"But you never know when she'll be needed unexpectedly." Gordon argued.

"The same could be said about Three, too." His dad countered.

"But…" Gordon began.

"No buts, Gordon." Jeff said tersely. "I know that you all want your 'birds to be updated as quickly as possible, but the plain fact of the matter is Brains can only work on one ship at a time. So I will have to make the decision about them based on the knowledge that I have at the time, and hope that it is the right one. Don't forget, either, that just because the safety program isn't installed doesn't mean that there will be a malfunction."

"You're f-f-father's right." Brains added. "The p-pr-program is just a pr-pr-precaution, not a n-n-necessity for operation."

"Fine…whatever." Gordon groused.

Jeff was about to take Gordon to task about his attitude but was interrupted by Scott. "I'm sorry to interrupt you Dad, but Tom Nelson is on the phone. He says that he needs to speak to you."

"Tell him that I will call him back later." Jeff instructed.

Scott shook his head. "I already told him that you were busy, but he is adamant. He says that he needs to speak to you right now or you will lose the Whittier account."

Jeff sighed and headed toward the desk. "Well, I better take that. Brains, go ahead and get started on those programs. Scott, could you give Alan a call. I promised I'd let him know what went wrong with Thunderbird One. He was worried about you."

Scott made a wry face behind his dad's back. "I'll take care of it." He then left the lounge with his brothers. John and Gordon headed back outside while Scott and Virgil headed towards the kitchen.

"Hey Scott, are you up for a game of tennis?" Virgil asked.

"Sure, let's go." Scott replied.

"What about your call?" Virgil asked.

Scott shrugged. "I'll call Alan after I clean the court with you."

"Keep dreaming big brother." Virgil laughed but then sobered a bit. "But you really should call Alan now. If he is worried…"

"Worried?" Scott interrupted. "That's rich coming from him."

"Scott, you really need to let this go with Alan." Virgil said. "It's not doing either one of you any good."

"Maybe I don't want to let it go." Scott snapped. "And how do **you** know if it is doing any good?"

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Look at yourself. All it took was mentioning Alan's name, and you're all upset and snapping at people."

"So what?" Scott argued.

"So what?" Virgil echoed. "It's been two weeks. How much longer are you going to punish Alan?"

"It may have been two weeks since the accident," Scott snarled. "But it's only been a matter of hours since he upset John this morning."

Virgil was confused. "This morning? What are you talking about?"

Scott gave out an exasperated sigh. He impatiently began to explain to Virgil. "On the way to the rescue this morning, I called dad to see why he didn't send Gordon with us. He told me that he had wanted Gordon to stay and help John calm down. Apparently dad walked in on John and Alan arguing. Dad said that John was really worked up."

Virgil shook his head. "Just because they were arguing doesn't mean that Alan did anything. Maybe John started the fight."

Scott gave a snort of disgust. "John doesn't start fights, and it also takes a lot of pushing to make him mad. You know that."

"I know that is usually the case." Virgil said. "But I also have seen him blow up at a moments notice in the past."

"That's only when he's under a lot of stress." Scott replied.

Virgil gave Scott an incredulous look. "And you don't think that he is under stress right now? Wake up and smell the coffee!"

"Of course he's not stressed." Scott declared emphatically. "You've seen him around here. He may not be able to see, but his spirits are high, and he is confident in his recovery. He knows that it will just take time, and he is patiently waiting the time out."

"You think he is." Virgil continued to argue. "Haven't you noticed that he has been more 'snappish' these past couple of weeks? I have a feeling that he's been trying to hide his true feelings. He wouldn't want us to know how upset he really is. He would consider it a sign of weakness."

Scott shook his head. "No way, I would know if he was trying to hide something. I can read him like a book. I can read all of you guys. Now are we going to go play tennis or not?"

Virgil shook his head. "I'm not in the mood anymore. I think that I will go **call** Alan."

"I said that I would do it." Scott snapped. "And I will."

"And I don't think that you have any business talking to Alan in the mood that you're in." Virgil snapped back.

"Think!" Scott growled. "You don't **think**. Need I remind you that I **am** your commander? You follow my orders. You don't think!"

Virgil got right into Scott's face. "You are the **field** commander, and in case you haven't noticed we aren't in the field." Just then the alarm sounded.

"We will be soon." Scott said through gritted teeth.

Scott and Virgil entered the lounge to find Gordon and John already there. Their father dad sat at the desk talking to Alan. "Okay, Alan. You're brothers will head out immediately."

"Is Thunderbird One airworthy?" Alan asked.

Jeff shot Scott a questioning look.

Scott shrugged. "I didn't have a chance to call him yet."

Jeff gave Scott a look that said that he didn't quite believe him. Turning his attention back to Alan, he said. "Thunderbird One is fine. Brains found a bad micro-chip and replaced it."

Alan nodded. "That's good that it was a simple repair. I'll get back to the local authorities."

"F-A-B, Alan." Jeff replied. Turning back to his other sons, he began to explain. "There has been an eruption of the volcano on the Island of Ngazija in the Comoro Islands. Obviously that island has sustained major damage from the eruption and the accompanying earthquakes. That is where we will concentrate our efforts."

"How about the other islands in the group?" Gordon asked.

Jeff ran a hand over his face. "The islands of Mwali and Nzwani have reported earthquakes but nothing that they can't handle at this point. They are also monitoring for possible tsunamis. We will keep in contact in case the situation changes there. The island of Maore reports nothing more than some minor tremors, but again we will keep an eye on their status."

"Well, let's get going, then." Scott said.

Jeff nodded. "Yes, get going Scott, but I'm going to want to speak to you once you get back."

Scott nodded. "F-A-B" He replied as he disappeared into the wall.

Turning to his other sons, Jeff continued speaking. "Virgil, you're going to need the excavator and the firefly at least. Gordon, you're going to have to go with them. This is going to be a long and dirty rescue."

Virgil and Gordon headed to Thunderbird Two via their respected routes. John carefully made his way to his father's desk. "I wish I was going with them." He said.

"I'm sure you wouldn't think that if you were out there." Jeff laughed. "It's going to be nasty over there: fires, ash in the air, collapsed buildings…do I need to go on?"

John laughed along with his father. "No, you don't have to go on, but at least I would feel like I'm part of the team."

"I thought we've gone through this." Jeff replied. "You are a part of the team…an injured part. Give yourself time to heal. You'll be back on active duty in no time."

John nodded his head. "You're right. I'm sure. I just have to keep reminding myself of that when I get frustrated. Speaking of…I still need to apologize to Alan for earlier."

Jeff blew out a breath. "Normally, I would make you wait until the rescue is over, but since this is going to be a long one and since I know that I can trust you not to monopolize his time, plus it's still going to be a while before your brothers reach the danger zone, I'll let you talk to him." Jeff moved out of his chair. He took John's elbow and carefully guided him around the desk. "Here, have a seat. I'll get Alan on the line." He then reached over and keyed the comm. "Tracy Island to Thunderbird Five. Come in, Alan."

John shook his head. "I could have done that, I **can** push a button."

Jeff shook his head. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. It was just habit."

At that moment, Alan's portrait was replaced by the live feed from Thunderbird Five. "This is Thunderbird Five. Go ahead, Dad." He then noticed John at the desk. "Oh…John." The throat began to constrict, but he cleared it and tried to keep his tone neutral. "What can I do for you?"

"Forgive me." John replied.

Alan was startled. This was not what he had been expecting. He had been hurt by the argument earlier with John and then again when he realized that his father had not followed through with his promise to keep him informed about Scott and Thunderbird One. He just figured that he was going to be hurt again. "What?" He asked.

John bowed his head as he collected his thoughts. "This morning, I was angry and said some horrible things to you. I want you to know that I didn't mean any of it. I was frustrated and I took it out on you. I'm sorry. I hope that you can forgive me."

Alan shook his head. "There's nothing to forgive. Everything that you said is true. I'm responsible for what you are going through. I am sorry for what I have done, but I know that there is no way that you could forgive me. So I won't even ask."

John shook his head. "Alan, you don't need to ask. I've already forgiven you. It was an accident. I know that. If I hadn't relieved you early, this would have happened to you."

"It should have happened to me." Alan interrupted. "I screwed up. I should be paying the consequences. You'll never know how sorry I am."

"Alan…" John wanted to argue more, but Alan cut him off.

"Look, John," Alan said. "I really can't talk right now. I'm on duty and there is a rescue in progress. I have to go."

John nodded. He knew that Alan had not forgiven him, but he also knew that he couldn't keep pushing right now. "Okay, Alan, but I do want to talk some more about this when you have some spare time."

"Sure, whatever, Thunderbird Five out." Alan replied as he cut the link.

"Well, that went well." John muttered under his breath. Turning toward where he sensed that his father was, he asked. "How are we going to convince him that we don't blame him?"

"I don't know." Jeff replied, placing a hand on John's shoulder. "It's not going to be easy, and it will take time. We will have to show him it. We will have to call him regularly to make sure that he is okay."

"You're right." John agreed. "We'll just have to work harder at getting through to him."

* * *

The volcano rescue took almost sixty hours. When the three brothers returned to the Island, they hit their beds and slept for over twelve hours. Gordon was the first to emerge, and he headed straight for the pool. He found John out on the patio enjoying the sun. 

"Hey, John, how are you feeling?" Gordon asked.

"Better than I was a few days ago." John replied. "Thanks to you."

"It was nothing." Gordon said humbly. "Any of our brothers would have talked with you. I just happened to have a frame of reference to draw from."

"Well, I still appreciate what you did. I don't know if I will ever be able to adequately explain how much it helped me. Plus I wasn't being very cooperative at the time either. You were very patient with me." John said. Then changing the subject, he continued. "If you're going to get your laps in, you'd better get started. There's no telling when the other two will get up. You guys still have a debriefing to do."

"Right." Gordon said. As he jumped in the pool, he yelled, "Geronimo!" Gordon tucked his legs under him just enough to cause a splash that hit John's feet and lower legs.

"Hey!" John yelled and instinctively pulled his legs up.

"Sorry." Gordon said cheekily.

John brushed at the moisture on his legs. He couldn't see the smile on Gordon's face, but he could hear it in his voice. "Yeah, right." John laughed.

Gordon had another ten laps to go in his daily regiment when Virgil appeared. "Hey guys, Kyrano has dinner ready for us."

Gordon hauled himself out of the pool. "Dinner?"

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Yeah, dinner. You know…food…a meal…sustenance."

Gordon grinned. "It's so easy to screw with you."

Virgil headed towards his younger brother. He teasingly growled. "Easy? I'll show you easy."

Gordon skirted around his brother and continued to tease. "Hey, look, I have to get changed for **dinner**. Why don't you help John in for **dinner?**" He then made his way into the villa.

Virgil yelled after him. "Yeah, you better run, you little snot." Turning towards John who was laughing out loud, he said. "Jeez John, don't encourage him."

John shook his head. "I'm sorry, but he is right. He knows exactly how to push your buttons."

"Come on." Virgil said in exasperation. "I'm hungry." John got up and grabbed his cane. "Do you need help?" Virgil asked.

"I think I can make it, but I wouldn't mind the company on the way in." John replied.

"Sure, just as long as you don't hassle me about 'dinner'." Virgil said laughing. The two brothers entered the villa in comfortable conversation.

* * *

An hour and a half later, the Tracys sat around the dinner table. The meal had been finished, but they were still discussing the rescue. 

"Okay, Scott, what was this complaint from the local police commander that has made it into the media?" Jeff asked. "According to the allegation, you refused to go after a group of inhabitants that were stranded and were in 'imminent' danger."

Scott gave out an exasperated sigh. "That guy was a jerk. This 'group' that he wanted us to go after were the guests at a wedding banquet of the son of a high ranking government official. Yes, they were stranded, but they were not in 'imminent' danger. We had others that were in more danger than they were."

"Did you try to explain this to the officer?" Jeff continued.

"Of course I did." Scott replied. "Unfortunately, he seemed to think the 'plight' of these rich, influential people should take precedence over everyone else. After all, they were stranded in a twenty-seven room mansion whose only damage was a porch collapse and the electricity being knocked out."

"And the ruined food." Gordon added. "Don't forget about that."

Jeff gave Scott a questioning look. "Ruined food?"

Scott nodded and disgustedly explained. "The wedding party was supposed to be held out in the gardens. So when the volcano erupted, the ash that fell contaminated the food that had been set out, but you can't tell me that they didn't have more food in that house. They probably had more food that the rest of the village put together."

"Did you check to see if anyone was injured in the porch collapse?" Jeff asked.

Scott nodded. "Apparently, there was one guest on the porch, but a servant noticed that it was starting to collapse and pulled the guest inside. The servant was the only one who got hurt. He ended up with a broken nose because the guest hit him for 'rough-handling' him."

Jeff shook his head. "So much for being grateful for having someone save your life."

"Anyways," Scott continued. "It was a case of the rich wanting to be put ahead of everyone else. I refused. There were others in greater danger, and those were the ones we concentrated on first. We eventually rescued the wedding guests. It just wasn't quick enough for them, and they complained. Obviously, they left out some key points of the story."

Virgil shook his head. "I wish that there was some way that we can refute these allegations. I hate to think that people actually believe this garbage."

Jeff nodded. "We do refute it every time that we go out on a rescue. Sure, there will be those who will believe these kinds of stories, but they enjoy believing the worst about people. Our record speaks for itself, and most people believe that. We don't need to defend ourselves."

Virgil took a sip of his coffee. "Well, it still burns me when people lie about us like that."

"I know." Jeff replied. "But it's just what we have to put up with being in the public eye. Now, is there anything else that we need to discuss about the rescue?"

Scott, Virgil, and Gordon exchanged glances, and they all shook their heads.

"Okay," Jeff continued. "Then this debriefing is at an end. Everyone is dismissed, except for Scott. Scott, I would like for you to meet me in my study. There are some things that I would like to discuss with you in private."

Scott nodded. "Sure, I'll be there in a few minutes."

* * *

Author's Note - See, we can be nice sometimes. We didn't crash Scott, and it was an easy fix for Thunderbird One. God, Scott is really pushing his luck with the family. Is Jeff finally going to put him in his place? You'll have to wait until next week. 

Again, we have been humble by the amount of reviews that we have been receiving, especially these past couple of chapters. We want to thank EVERYONE who has taken the time to encourage us. We know that we say that every week, but we just can't keep telling our reviewers that. We do appreciate them all. Thanks again.


	15. Reprimand

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 15 – Reprimand

The family members left the table and went their separate ways. Gordon went to the pool to finish his laps. Then he planned on just enjoying the sun. Virgil went to the lounge to play the piano, and John followed to listen to the impromptu concert. Scott went over to the kitchen counter and refilled his coffee cup. He was not looking forward to this meeting. He debated on how long he could keep his father waiting. Not long, that's for sure.

Suddenly, Grandma was by his side. "Scott, sweetie, do you want anything special from the grocery store? Kyrano and I are heading to Christchurch this afternoon on a supply run to restock the pantry."

Scott looked confused. "I thought the supply run wasn't for another couple of days?"

Grandma nodded. "It wasn't supposed to be, but I need something today. So Kyrano and I decided just to move up the supply run. So, do you need anything?"

Scott thought for a moment. He shook his head. "No, I can't think of anything right now, but you should check with the others, especially John, since he is going to be on the Island for at least another month."

Grandma patted Scott's upper arm. "Of course I will. I was hoping to catch everyone at the table, but I see I have missed them."

Scott nodded. "Only by a few minutes. Gordon was heading to the pool. Virgil and John left the kitchen together. My guess is that Virgil was headed to the lounge and his piano. I don't know if John is still with him or not."

Grandma nodded. "He probably is. He loves hearing Virgil play. He told me once that it was one of the things that he missed the most while being up on Five. He said that the recordings that Virgil made for him just weren't the same as a live performance."

"I can understand that." Scott replied. "I felt the same way when I was away from home."

"That boy sure can play, can't he?" Grandma responded. "I assume that your father is also in the lounge."

Scott shook his head. "Actually, no, he was going to his study. I'm supposed to meet him there."

Grandma raised an eyebrow at the implication. "I see." She said simply. Usually the only time that Jeff called one of the boys into the study for a private meeting was for a reprimand. She hadn't noticed any obvious conflict between Jeff and his son, so her curiosity was aroused, but she decided that she really didn't want to know. Giving Scott a slight hug, she said. "I won't keep you then, and if you happen to get called out while I'm away, be careful."

Scott returned the hug. "I will, Grandma, and I will ask dad if he wants anything for you."

Grandma nodded. "Thank you, Scott. I'll talk to you later."

* * *

Scott knocked on the study door and opened it after he heard his dad gruffly call, "Come in." 

"Hey Dad," Scott said as he entered the study. "I'm sorry that I kept you waiting. Grandma caught me in the kitchen. Apparently, she and Kyrano decided to go to Christchurch this afternoon to restock the pantry instead of waiting until the scheduled run. She wants to know if we want anything special. I told her that I would ask you for her."

Jeff nodded. "Actually, there are a few things that I do need. I'll be right back." He then left the study.

Scott sat in the chair in front of his father's desk. He took a sip of the coffee that he had brought with him. A short reprieve…Scott didn't know if he should be grateful or not. He knew that his father wanted to discuss why he didn't call Alan before the last rescue. "Really," he reasoned with himself. "I didn't have much time from when the debriefing ended. Sure I spent a few minutes talking with Virgil in the hall, but how was I supposed to know that an emergency call would come in right away. It wasn't **that** long. Okay, I was trying to put off the call, but dad doesn't know that. Unless Virgil squealed on me, nah, Virgil wouldn't do that. Sure he was mad at me over it, but he still would've kept it between us. He's not a narc. Of course, he has taken Alan's side in all this. Who knows, maybe he did tattle to dad." Scott really wanted to believe that Virgil would not turn against him like that, but everything had been so screwed up in the last few weeks that he just couldn't be sure of anything.

Scott's thoughts were interrupted by his father's return. "Sorry to keep you waiting." Jeff said as he sat down at his desk. He looked lost in thought and Scott realized that he was dreading this conversation as much as Scott was.

Clearing his throat, Jeff finally spoke. "When I took that call from Tom, didn't I ask you to call Alan and update him on Thunderbird One?"

Scott nodded. "Yes, sir, you did."

Jeff shrugged his shoulders slightly. "So, what happened?"

Scott returned his dad's shrug. "Nothing happened, really. Virg and I left the lounge together, and we were talking, and the time just got away from me. Of course, it really wasn't that long before the rescue call came in. Even if I had called him immediately, I would have been in the middle of the conversation when the call came in."

"What were you and Virgil talking about?" Jeff questioned.

"Not much." Scott replied. "We were talking about getting a tennis match together once I was finished with the call."

Jeff nodded and slowly asked. "So…your 'not calling' Alan has nothing to do with your feelings towards him right now?"

Scott met his dad's eyes. "I would never let my 'feelings' interfere with an order."

Jeff gave him a look of disbelief, but then he headed off on another tangent. "Could you explain to me **why** Alan thought that John's condition was permanent? I was under the impression that you had explained his condition to your brothers when you returned from the hospital."

Scott jumped to his feet, sloshing a small amount of coffee out of his cup. "Is that what Alan said? I **never** said that John's condition was permanent. How dare he say something like that? When I get my hands on that little brat…"

"Scott…" Jeff tried to interrupt.

Scott began to pace as he continued to rant. "I can't believe that he would make up such a blatant lie. Did he really expect you to believe such an outlandish story?"

"Scott…" Jeff tried again. Alarm bells were going off in his head. Normally, Scott would not respond with such vehement denials. It only served to solidify Jeff's suspicions that there was more to this story that neither Alan nor Scott was willing to admit to.

Scott was continuing his ranting. "I'm not surprised though. I'm sure that he is just trying to divert the attention away from himself. Well, it's not going to work. This is one trick that's going to backfire on him. Wait until Virgil and Gordon find out about this. So much for Alan being mature and trying to take responsibility for his actions."

"Scott!" Jeff snapped. "Shut up and sit down!"

Scott sat down and even though he didn't say anything, he was still fuming inside.

Jeff began speaking in a hard tone. "First off, Alan didn't say anything. In fact when I asked him what you had said to make him believe that John was permanently blind, he put the blame on himself. He told me that 'he had misunderstood'. So you can just dial back your 'righteous indignation' a bit."

Scott shook his head in confusion. "So, if Alan admitted to 'misunderstanding' me, why are you questioning me about it?"

Jeff studied Scott's face, watching his reaction. "Because my gut is telling me that there is more to this story than I am being told, and your defensive outburst just seems to confirm my instinct. You told me that you explained John's condition to all your brothers, so do you mind repeating what you told your brothers. I'm interested in knowing what you said that Alan misunderstood that Virgil and Gordon didn't."

Scott shook his head. "They weren't together when I talked to them. I ran into Alan in the hall, and he asked about John. So I told him."

Jeff waited for Scott to continue. When Scott didn't Jeff prompted. "And?"

Scott sighed. "I don't remember what I told him exactly." Which was partially true, he did remember running into Alan in the hall. He even remembered pushing him against the wall. Other than that, all he could remember was the intense rage that he felt.

"So is it possible that you said something that Alan could have misunderstood?" Jeff pressed.

Scott shook his head. "Well, I didn't tell him that John was permanently blind. That's for sure. Besides, you had called home after we had talked to the surgeon and explained to them about his eyes. He would have known I was lying if I had tried. All I was supposed to explain about was the infection that John had picked up. That's what I did. I don't know what Alan's problem is, except that he is an immature, little brat."

Jeff felt his irritation rise at Scott. He rested his arms on his desk and spoke with controlled anger. "I have just about had it with your attitude lately, especially against Alan." Scott opened his mouth to argue, but Jeff cut him off. "Don't…don't say anything. I'm doing the talking. I know that you are upset about the accident, and I know that you are concerned about John, but you need to let go of your anger against Alan. Yes, he made a mistake, a mistake that he is truly sorry for. He is only human; and try as he might, he is going to make mistakes. He's not perfect. None of us are."

Scott shook his head. "So, he got to you too." He muttered disgustingly.

"Yes, he got to me." Jeff snapped. "He got me with his repeated apologies. He got me with his remorsefulness. He got me with his willingness to take **full** responsibility for the accident. He got me with his willingness to do any job assigned to him without complaint. Most of all, he got me with his fear."

"Fear," Scott snorted in disdain. "What does Alan have to be afraid of?"

Jeff shook his head. He couldn't believe that Scott was being so oppositional. "What do you think? He knows that his mistake could've had dire consequences and that has him scared to death. He is being extra careful in everything that he has done since because he doesn't want to make another mistake. If I don't miss my guess, he's also afraid of how all this is affecting the family. I have a feeling that Alan thinks that we all are holding him responsible."

"He **IS** responsible! Why am I the only one who understands that?" Scott practically yelled at his father.

"And when will you learn that this was just a mistake?" Jeff argued back. "This was not an intentional act. It's not like he thought, 'I'm not going to say anything about the monitor because I'm in a hurry and to hell with the consequences.' He got distracted by an emotional rescue."

"So he says." Scott grumbled.

Jeff forced himself to calm down. In a quieter tone, he continued. "Put yourself in his shoes. Really think about it, Scott. How would you have felt in his position? Alan gets a rescue call from a scared little boy with his name…a boy whose mother is missing, possibly dead. Don't you think that brought up strong emotions in him? He **lived** what that little boy was facing."

Scott seemed to deflate a bit, but his tone still held a hint of impatience. "Alan wasn't the only one who lost his mother. I remember John withdrawing behind his quiet shell. I remember Virgil asking over and over about mom, not understanding that she was never coming back. I remember Gordon toddling through the house looking for her. I remember that I would have done anything to change all that. I also remember that Alan had it the easiest. All he worried about at the time was eating, sleeping and getting his diaper changed. He didn't know the sense of loss that we did."

Jeff nodded his head. "But as he grew up, he did develop a sense of loss. Actually, it's a sense that neither of us can understand. We have our memories of your mother. Alan doesn't. The only things that he knows about her are from pictures that he's seen and stories that he's been told. That leaves a pretty big hole in someone's life."

"Gordon doesn't really remember mom either." Scott said.

"Maybe that's why Alan and Gordon are so close. They share feelings that we don't understand." Jeff commented. "Anyways, I think that I've proven my point. Just talking about your mother has brought out strong emotions in you, so what do you think Alan was dealing with during that rescue?"

"It still doesn't change the fact that he screwed up." Scott remarked.

"But it does make it understandable." Jeff continued. "And if you would just give Alan a little leeway, you would see that he knows that he 'screwed up', as you put it. He doesn't expect us to just forget that, but he is trying very hard to earn our trust again. I wish you would give him a chance."

"Just like John gave him a chance?" Scott questioned. "Alan ended up fighting with him a couple of days ago."

Jeff shook his head. "Believe it or not, Alan did not start that argument."

"Sure, right." Scott said. "I just can't picture John starting a fight. It's not in his nature."

"Well, he did start this one." Jeff replied. "He admitted it to me. He has even apologized to Alan over it."

"He did?" Scott couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. "What did Alan say?"

Jeff sighed. "He took the blame on himself. He told John that he didn't need to apologize and that he understood why John was angry with him. He told John that it was okay to treat him like that because he didn't expect to be forgiven for the accident. I have a feeling that he wasn't talking just about John. I think he is including all of us in that statement. He doesn't expect to be forgiven by any of us, and he is willing to accept that. Does that sound like a 'selfish, immature little brat'?"

Scott shook his head. "I don't know what to believe. This is Alan we are talking about. He's not known for his responsible nature. Do I need to remind you about the rocket going off in the dorm room?"

Jeff smiled at the memory, but then sobered. "That was a long time ago. He's grown up and matured since then. You can't judge him now by how he was growing up."

"But has he grown up?" Scott argued. "You know how he is around here. He's always joking around, especially when he teams up with Gordon."

Jeff shook his head. "It's just their way of releasing tension. Even you have to admit that they don't joke around on rescues. They know that what they do could mean the difference between life and death."

Scott snorted. "Yeah, right."

Jeff pressed on. "Is that your way of admitting that they are goofing around on rescues and endangering people's lives?"

"Of course not." Scott said indignantly. "I would never allow that."

"So you do admit that they are professional on the job?" Jeff asked.

Scott sighed. He knew where this conversation was heading, and he didn't like it, but he couldn't stop it. "Yes, Father, they are professional while on the job."

Jeff nodded. "So why are you so sure that John's accident was caused by Alan's negligence…his 'unprofessionalism'?"

"Because…" Scott seemed to struggle with his thoughts.

"Because why?" Jeff pressed his son. "Why are you so sure that it was Alan's fault? Why are you so convinced that Alan is lying when he said that he forgot?"

"What else could it have been?" Scott asked in exasperation. "You don't just forget a malfunction like that."

"Why not?" Jeff felt his irritation rising. "We've already discussed how the memories of your mother, or lack of memories in Alan's case, can be distracting. Why can't you give him the benefit of the doubt? Why won't you even consider that it was just an accident? Why do you need to **blame** someone?"

Scott shook his head in defeat. "I don't know. I really don't know. There is a part of me that wants to believe Alan or at least forgive him, but I can't seem to let go of this anger that I have."

"Maybe you should talk to someone." Jeff suggested.

"Like who?" Scott asked. "I hope you don't mean a shrink."

Jeff shook his head. "Actually, I was thinking about Kyrano. I'm sure that anyone here on the Island would be willing to listen to you, but Kyrano just has a way about him. He'd make a great therapist. He does a lot of listening, and he asks questions that really make you think about things in a different way. I know that he's helped me when I've gone to him with problems."

"Is he the one who convinced you to believe Alan?" Scott questioned.

Jeff nodded. "In a round about way, I haven't talked with him directly about Alan, but I did ask myself some of the questions that I knew he would ask me, and I reached my own conclusions."

"Let me ask you a question." Scott said. "Do you even intend to hold Alan accountable for his actions whether they were intentional or not?"

Jeff locked eyes with Scott. "Are you going to get mad at me if I say no?"

Scott returned his father's gaze. "Probably, I guess I just don't understand why everyone is suddenly willing to forgive Alan."

"Maybe it's because we've put ourselves in Alan's shoes." Jeff responded.

Scott was startled. "What do you mean by that?"

Jeff proceeded to explain. "I can only speak for myself, but the others have probably done the same thing. I've thought back over my life and the mistakes I've made. I realized that I was lucky when it came to my mistakes. Many of them could have had dire repercussions if circumstances were just slightly different."

Scott shook his head. "So, like I thought. Alan is going to get away with this."

"I wouldn't say that." Jeff replied. "I plan on having him man Thunderbird Five until at least when John's bandages are removed. So that's two weeks longer that the normal rotation, and it may be more once we know more about John's condition. He did miss his vacation with Tin-Tin." Scott started to say something, but Jeff held up a hand to hold him off. "And to top it all off, because of something you either said or didn't say, he has spent the last two weeks believing that his brother was permanently blind because of a mistake that he made. Because of that, he has been punishing himself far more than I could or would even want to."

Scott leaned back in his chair and sighed. "I guess I have quite a bit to think about."

Jeff nodded. "I would say you do. I hope you take my recommendation and talk to someone. If you're not comfortable talking with Kyrano, talk to someone: me, Grandma, Virgil, maybe even Gordon. He seems to have helped John."

"He'd probably deck me again." Scott muttered.

"Excuse me?" Jeff asked in confusion. "Gordon 'decked' you? When was that?"

Scott gave his dad a quizzical look. "I told you about it. You were still at the hospital with John. We got in a fight after Alan was released from the sickroom. But to be totally honest, I threw the first punch, Gordon was just retaliating."

Jeff shook his head. "You told me that you and Gordon 'got in a fight'. I just didn't realize that you meant it literally. I guess I just assumed that you meant that you two had a verbal argument."

Scott ran a hand through his hair. "A fight is a fight. Does it really matter if it was verbal or physical? People get hurt either way."

"You are right to a point." Jeff agreed. "But most people figure that physical fighting is worse than a verbal argument. That's why you can get arrested a whole lot faster for throwing a punch in a bar than for just shooting your mouth off."

Scott nodded. "That may be, but I don't think my brothers feel that way."

"Brothers?" Jeff questioned. "Have you been in a physical altercation with more than just Gordon?"

Scott turned away from his father and didn't answer.

"You have, haven't you?" Jeff answered for him. "Which one was it? Virgil? Alan?" Jeff noticed the flicker of acknowledgement when he mentioned Alan's name. "Oh, Scott, how could you?"

"I don't know." Scott shouted as he jumped up and began pacing the room. "I told you. I feel so out of control. I mean the last time that I was in a fist fight with one of my brothers was back when I was seventeen and Virgil stole my car and put a dent in it. But then when I got home from the hospital, I attacked two of my brothers in just a matter of hours."

"You attacked?" Jeff muttered as he shook his head. "I can't believe I am hearing this. I thought I could trust you Scott."

"You **can** trust me." Scott said emphatically.

"Oh really," Jeff argued. "First, you get into a fist fight with two of your brothers, and then you don't even tell me about the one incident, and you glossed over the other. So tell me how I am supposed to trust you."

"It's just this particular situation." Scott argued back. "It's got me so unnerved that I'm just not thinking straight."

Jeff took a deep breath and slowly let it out in an effort to calm himself down. His voice was terse as he spoke. "Well, you better **start** thinking straight. I'm not going to put up with this anymore. Your attitude was bad enough, but I let you get away with it because I was hoping that once you sorted out your feelings that it would get better, but you crossed the line when you became physical. You **can't** let it happen again. If it does, I will ground you. I will even send you to New York if I feel the need to separate you from your brothers. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir." Scott replied through gritted teeth.

"I know that it sounds like I am expecting a lot out of you," Jeff continued. "And I am. You are my field commander. I hold you to a higher standard. I put a lot of trust in you. One of those areas is your ability to remain in control of your emotions."

"I **am** in control when we are on a rescue." Scott snapped at his father. "My brothers and I were fighting over 'family' issues not 'job' issues. We've worked together fine on the rescues over these past couple of weeks. That proves that I can separate my 'personal' and 'professional' life. Something that you obviously are having trouble with."

Jeff's anger continued to build. He stood up and leaned over placing his hands flat on his desk. "I may have trouble separating 'personal' and 'professional' business, but I'm telling you right now that you are on dangerous ground on **both**. Now, I'm going to call an end to this meeting before either of us says things that we will regret later."

"Fine with me," Scott snarled as he left his father's study.

* * *

Oh, fine, that Scott is just digging himself further into a hole. He's lucky that Jeff didn't deck him. 

Okay, folks, this is just going to be quick. We want to thank everyone for their reviews. Because of the holiday and the school's vacation schedule, we didn't have out weekly bull session, so we were unable to reply individually to the reviews, but we still appreciated each and everyone. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the last. Even this posting is on the fly, so please excuse any mistakes that we may have missed. Thanks again.


	16. Discussions

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 16 – Discussions

The next three weeks were strained on Tracy Island. International rescue was extremely busy. They received a steady stream of rescue calls. The boys were lucky to get between six to twelve hours in between rescues. Scott was the constant professional during the rescue, but once they returned home, he isolated himself for whatever short time they were there. Finally, they got a break, and they had been home for two days.

Scott wandered into the kitchen well after he knew that the rest of the family would have had their breakfast and left the kitchen. Kyrano quietly placed a plate of food in front of him that he just picked at.

Kyrano had noticed Scott's discomfort earlier, but was hesitant to bring it up. He knew that Scott needed to talk but that he was fighting it. Kyrano decided to encourage conversation by engaging in "safe" topics.

"Is the meal not to your liking, Mr. Scott?" Kyrano asked.

"Huh? What?" Scott asked as he shook himself from his thoughts.

"Your meal…" Kyrano repeated. "Is there something wrong with it?"

Scott shook his head. "No, there's nothing wrong." He then seemed to get lost again in his thinking.

"I can prepare something else if you wish." Kyrano said. "Would you prefer a different breakfast?"

Scott pushed his plate away and shook his head. "No, I'm just not very hungry."

"So I have noticed." Kyrano replied. "Your appetite has taken a sudden loss. I am concerned for your health. You cannot continue your job for long on the strength that you gain from what little you eat."

"Well, I may not be doing my job for very much longer anyhow." Scott muttered under his breath.

"Pardon me, Mr. Scott?" Kyrano queried.

Scott shook his head. "Nothing…I just have to work a few things out for myself."

Kyrano bowed slightly. "If there is anything that I can do, please ask."

Scott made up his mind. "Actually, there is. Have a seat Kyrano."

"As you wish, Mr. Scott." Kyrano replied as he sat down.

Scott drummed his fingers on the table as he gathered his thoughts. Slowly he began. "Dad recommended that I speak to you. He said that you've helped him in the past. He thought that maybe you could help me."

Kyrano bowed his head towards Scott. "I am honored by your father's trust. What do you wish of me?"

"I am really confused about my feelings right now." Scott admitted. "I don't know what to do."

"What is it that you wish to do?" Kyrano asked.

Scott thought for a moment. "I want to get control of my emotions, especially my anger. I want to repair my relationships with my family. I want things to go back to the way it was before the accident."

"A man cannot step twice into the same stream." Kyrano said. Seeing Scott's confused look, he continued. "Life is in a continual motion of change. You cannot go 'back' to an earlier time. That will never be altered. A man is measured on how he responds to the changes that he encounters. It is the tests of life."

Scott shook his head. "Well, this is one test that I have failed."

"Learning can come even through failure." Kyrano responded.

"What?" Scott asked.

"You need to determine why you have lost your way. Only then can you learn what you need to know." Kyrano replied.

"That's my problem!" Scott snapped. "I don't know why I am having so much trouble with this. If I did, I wouldn't be in this predicament."

"You must ask yourself some hard questions." Kyrano said. "And you must answer honestly. That is what most people find to be difficult."

"Why should honesty be difficult?" Scott asked.

Kyrano gave a small nod. "It is part of human nature. There are always areas of personality that every human wants to keep hidden…fears, desires, needs."

"So are you saying that I am turning my true feelings into anger in order to keep them hidden?" Scott questioned.

"Only you can answer that, Mr. Scott." Kyrano responded.

"Can you help me figure it out, Kyrano?" Scott almost begged.

"I can guide you, but you must reach your own conclusions." Kyrano said.

Scott nodded. "Okay, what do we do first?"

"First I would suggest we move to a quiet area where disruptions are unlikely. My garden perhaps?" Kyrano suggested.

"We could still be disturbed there." Scott remarked.

"Yes, we could." Kyrano acknowledged. "But that could be said of anywhere here on the Island."

"We could go to my bedroom." Scott said. "I could lock the door just to make certain."

"We could." Kyrano replied. "But then we would miss out on the calming effects of the warm sun on our skin or the cool breeze blowing through our hair or the tantalizing mix of the salt air and the sweet aroma of the garden's flowers assailing our sense of smell."

Scott laughed lightly. "Well, that does sound a whole lot better than sitting around a stuffy, locked room."

* * *

Kyrano carefully pruned some flowers as he and Scott wandered slowly through the garden. Scott waited for Kyrano to speak, but he remained silent as they walked. Finally Scott spoke. "Okay, what do I do?"

"You talk." Kyrano said simply.

"About what?" Scott said in exasperation.

Kyrano tilted his head. "About whatever you think is bothering you, Mr. Scott."

Scott shook his head. "I told you what is bothering me. I can't seem to control my anger. I hate not being in control."

"Why are you angry?" Kyrano asked.

Scott looked at Kyrano like he had sprung a second head. "Excuse me? What do you think has me angry? John's accident of course."

"Why does an accident make you angry?" Kyrano questioned.

"Because it could have been prevented. If Alan had done his job, John would not have been hurt." Scott replied his voice tinged with his rising anger.

Kyrano nodded. "Would you still be angry if the positions were reverse?"

Scott shook his head. "The positions would never have been reversed. John is too conscientious of a worker."

"I would say that he is not." Kyrano pressed.

Scott exploded. "How dare you say that? John is the most conscientious worker that I know."

"But he is not perfect, Mr. Scott." Kyrano responded in his infuriating calm tone. "He is just human after all."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Scott said in exasperation.

"Because it is true, Mr. Scott." Kyrano replied. "Everyone makes mistakes, intentional or not. No one is perfect, no matter how hard they try."

"Whatever," Scott said. "But if Alan wasn't so immature…"

"Why do you feel that he is immature?" Kyrano asked.

Scott shook his head. "Oh come on, it's Alan. You know what he's like. How many times has he gotten himself in trouble?"

"The same could be said of you, Mr. Scott." Kyrano continued on.

Scott gave out a bark of a laugh. "I wasn't **that** bad."

Kyrano raised an eyebrow. "Were you or were you not the one who was caught not once but twice drag racing?"

Scott gave a dismissive wave of his hand. "I was young and foolish. Besides, no one got hurt."

"But someone could have been hurt, correct?" Kyrano pressed.

Scott sighed. "I supposed, but like I said, I was young."

"Is that the same excuse for when you ran your car into that tree when you were in college?" Kyrano asked.

"My brakes went out." Scott replied. "I meant to get them looked at, but I was in the middle of exams, and my girlfriend just broke up with me. I wasn't really thinking at the time."

"So you admit to doing the same things that you are accusing Mr. Alan of doing." Kyrano remarked.

Scott thought for a moment. "I guess, but still nobody got hurt."

"You were lucky." Kyrano said. "Mr. Alan wasn't"

Scott ran his hand through his hair. "They keep telling me that too."

"They?" Kyrano asked.

"Dad…my brothers…they've all basically said the same thing…that we've all made mistakes and we've just been lucky that no one has gotten hurt." Scott replied.

"Why have you been reluctant to believe them?" Kyrano continued.

"I don't know." Scott replied in frustration. "I wish I did. That's part of my problem. I can't seem to let go of my anger against Alan."

"Are you sure that it is anger?" Kyrano asked.

"What do you mean by that?" Scott questioned. "Of course it's anger. What else would it be?"

"Anger is rarely anger in its true form." Kyrano began. "Many times anger is a reflection of another emotion."

"So we are back to the 'hiding true feelings' thing again." Scott said. "Do you really think that is what I'm doing?"

"Again Mr. Scott, only you can determine that." Kyrano replied.

Scott threw his hands up in disgust. "There you go again, talking in riddles. Look…I don't think that this is working. Instead of helping me control my anger, all I'm doing is getting angrier."

Kyrano tilted his head. "Why is our conversation making you angry?"

"Because you keep asking me questions that I can't seem to make heads or tails of." Scott said in irritation.

"So is it really anger that you are feeling? Or another emotion being masked by anger." Kyrano asked.

Scott blew out an exasperated breath. "I'm frustrated as hell, if that's what you mean."

Kyrano nodded. "Yes, that is what I mean. You first described it as anger. Now you called it frustration. They are similar emotions, and one can lead to the other, but they are still different."

Scott shook his head. "So, you're saying that I'm not angry, but that I'm frustrated."

Kyrano nodded. "That or maybe another emotion."

Scott sighed. "Are you back on the 'fear' kick again?" Kyrano just raised an eyebrow, so Scott continued. "Why do you keep coming back to that one?"

"Because it is the one that you are avoiding." Kyrano simply stated.

"Avoiding? I'm not avoiding anything." Scott declared indignantly.

Finally, their meandering through the garden brought them to a bench that Jeff had placed there so that his mother would have a resting spot while she enjoyed the garden.

Kyrano sat down on the bench. "Sit down Mr. Scott." He said quietly.

Scott reluctantly sat down. As much as he wanted help with his emotions, there also was a part of him that did want to bury them and deny the problem even existed.

Kyrano could tell that Scott was battling his emotions. Calmly, he spoke to Scott. "I know that this is hard for you. I can sense your turmoil. This is what I meant about it being hard to be honest, but you must if you are to master your emotions."

Scott decided that he wanted to get himself straightened out no matter how painful it was to him. "Okay, ask me anything. I'll be honest."

Kyrano nodded. "Setting aside your anger, what was your first impression when the alarm sounded?"

Scott sighed. "My first thought was that John was dead."

"How did that make you feel?" Kyrano asked.

"I was terrified." Scott admitted. "The idea of losing a brother…I just…I felt sick. I was so afraid of what we would find up on Five."

"Your brothers have been injured in the past…almost killed." Kyrano observed.

Scott nodded. "And I've been scared to death each time. The idea of losing another family member…" His voice trailed off as he fought back the emotions that this line of thinking evoked.

"How did you handle those situations in the past?" Kyrano asked.

Scott laughed scornfully. "I handled them like I handled this one. I got angry. You're right. I try to overcome my fears by getting angry. Maybe I get angry because I am feeling out of control, and I **hate** feeling out of control."

"Why is this time different?" Kyrano questioned.

Scott shook his head in confusion. "What? I told you. I reacted the same. I got angry. There's no difference."

Kyrano nodded his head and explained his question. "But why do you feel different about your anger? It didn't seem to bother you before. Why now?"

Scott thought for a moment. "I guess maybe it's because with the other incidences, I had someone to be mad at."

"You don't have someone to be angry with?" Kyrano asked.

"Yes!" Scott said emphatically but then started to rattle on. "No…I don't know…maybe…this is what is tearing me up."

"Can you explain?" Kyrano pressed.

Scott sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Well, it's just that the others that I was mad at were outside the family, the captain of the Sentinel, that crazy race car driver, or the maker of the hydrofoil. Now, I'm blaming Alan, a member of my own family. That complicates everything. Maybe that's why I am so conflicted. I'm angry at the person responsible for hurting John which is Alan, but that hurts Alan. So then I'm angry at the person who is hurting Alan which is me. So now I'm in a vicious circle. I'm mad at Alan for hurting John, but I'm mad at myself for hurting Alan. I guess I just don't know how to get over being angry at myself."

Kyrano nodded. "That is a dilemma, but are you sure that it is the one you are facing?"

Scott shook his head. "Now what are you getting at?"

Kyrano looked at Scott. "Let us look at the three incidents that you mentioned. Why do you blame the captain of the Sentinel?"

Scott looked at Kyrano in surprise. "Excuse me? Why do **you** think that I blamed the captain? He's the one who listed Thunderbird Two as a 'hostile' contact without even trying to identify it. He didn't even try to contact Virg on the radio. If he had, the whole mess could've been avoided."

"So, it was a purposeful attack?" Kyrano replied.

"Of course it was." Scott said in a hostile tone. "If he hadn't been so trigger-happy…"

Kyrano cut Scott off. "What about the builder of the hydrofoil? Why did you get angry with him?"

"Oh come on," Scott said in exasperation. "I know that you didn't start working for dad until a couple of months after the accident, but you and dad were in contact at the time so I'm sure that you heard what happened. If not then, at least since we've moved to the Island."

Kyrano nodded. "Refresh my memory, Mr. Scott."

Scott sighed. He had a feeling he knew where this conversation was going. "Ok fine, the manufacturer decided to make a few extra bucks by cutting a few corners. So he deviated from the designer's schematics and installed an inferior hydraulic manifold which couldn't handle the stress at the higher speeds of the hydrofoil. If anything good came out of it was that the hydrofoil that Gordon crashed was a prototype. The manufacturer's deception was found out and corrected before the line went into full production. It saved the lives of a lot of WASP personnel."

Kyrano nodded. "So again, your brother's life was endangered by a purposeful act."

Scott rolled his eyes. "I know where you're going with this."

Kyrano raised an eyebrow. "I am not 'going' anywhere, Mr. Scott. I am merely attempting to guide you."

"Sure you are." Scott replied. "And before you even ask, yes, Grandma and Alan's lives were put in danger on purpose by that crazy race car driver and his equally crazy mechanic. So what's your point?"

Kyrano shook his head. "My point is, Mr. Scott, that in the previous incidences that your brothers were in danger, the person responsible made a choice. They thought about the situation and made a decision knowing that it could have serious repercussions."

Scott waited a moment for Kyrano to continue. When he didn't, Scott impatiently said. "And?"

Kyrano looked Scott in the eye. "Do you really believe that Mr. Alan thought about the situation and purposely made a choice to put his brother's life in danger just to get to a vacation quickly?"

Scott looked shocked. "Of course he didn't. Alan would never do that, but that still doesn't mean that he's not responsible. So what are you trying to get at? Just spit it out."

Kyrano looked out over the flowers as he thought. Then he quietly began to speak. "You have seen many perilous things over your years with International Rescue. You have seen death and injuries caused by different agents, natural disasters, purposeful acts of destructions, and sometimes accidents that occur simply due to human error. You have handled each rescue differently. Never have I known you to condemn an individual for being human. Yet that is what you have done to Mr. Alan."

Scott sighed. "Okay, so we have gone round and round about my emotions and we have reached the conclusion that I'm a jerk. So now what?"

Kyrano shook his head. Scott normally was not this dense, but dealing with strong emotions seemed to have Scott spinning in circles. "I wouldn't say 'jerk', but you have allowed your emotional turmoil to cloud your judgment. You are unwilling to acknowledge the fact that human short comings can cause unfortunate occurrences. Some can be perilous. You are trying to hold Mr. Alan up to a higher standard of conduct than you require of others, and you are taking exception with those who are not holding him to your standards."

Scott shook his head. "So, in other words, I'm being a jerk towards Alan and a pain in the ass towards the rest of the family."

Kyrano smiled. "I knew that if I lead you in the right direction that you would finally reach the correct conclusion."

Scott snorted out a laugh. "Gee, Kyrano, you didn't have to agree with me so quickly."

Kyrano smiled. "Again, I would not have used your words to describe the conclusion that you reached, but I do believe that you now understand your emotional dilemma."

Scott nodded. "You're right. My problems started when I expected Alan to be perfect. Then I got mad when the others tried to tell me differently. I guess I owe a lot of apologies."

Kyrano tilted his head. "It is your decision as to what course of action that you feel that you must take."

Scott nodded his head. "Well, I should start right here."

Kyrano gave Scott a confused look. "Excuse me, Mr. Scott."

"I need to apologize to you Kyrano." Scott began. "I came to you claiming that I wanted your help with my feelings, but I fought you all the way. You were asking me questions and even though I knew what you were getting at, I was being vague or was purposely misleading. I don't know why you even kept at it. I mean, I know that you're a patient guy, but I was really pushing the envelope. I don't know why you didn't smack me upside my thick head."

"What would I have accomplished with such an act?" Kyrano asked.

"You would have gotten my attention." Scott replied.

"But I had your attention." Kyrano remarked.

Scott shook his head. "Not really, not my full attention."

"Yes, but I did sense your true desire for help. I knew that my patience would be rewarded, and that you would be better for it." Kyrano interjected.

Scott nodded his head. "And again, you were right. So, can you forgive me for giving you such a hard time when all you were trying to do was help me?"

Kyrano nodded. "Your apology is unnecessary but appreciated. I freely give you my forgiveness."

"Thank you, Kyrano." Scott said sincerely. Standing up, he continued. "Well, I'd better get going. I have some more apologies to make."

"Peace go with you, Mr. Scott." Kyrano replied. Scott nodded and then headed back into the villa.

After a few minutes of searching, Scott found his brothers in the game room. Virgil and Gordon were engaged in a game of pool while John relaxed in one of the recliners. They were involved in a lighthearted conversation when Scott entered the room. He could hear their laughter for a few seconds before Virgil and Gordon caught sight of him and stopped.

"Hey Scott," Virgil said coldly.

"Scott?" John said as he turned his head towards the door.

Gordon, however, refused to acknowledge Scott's entrance. The tension between the two had been building ever since the fight in the sickroom. It had finally reached a point where neither were speaking to each other except for on rescues or when absolutely necessary.

"Hey guys, how are things going?" Scott asked.

Gordon and Virgil exchanged confused looks. Scott seemed friendly but there was also a nervousness about him.

"Fine," Virgil responded. "How are things going with you?"

"Fine…fine." Scott said playing with his hands.

The brothers waited for Scott to continue, but when he didn't, John prompted. "Is there something that you needed, Scott?"

"No…well, yes." Scott stumbled over his words. Under his breath, he mumbled. "Pull it together, Scott. It's not that hard. It's just three little words."

Virgil shook his head. "So, are you going to tell us? Or do we have to play twenty questions?"

"No, I'm sorry." Scott replied. "Uhm…It's just that I've been talking with Kyrano. He's made me realize some things."

Scott paused again, and again John prompted him. "Like?"

Scott's brain screamed at him. "Tell them, just tell them." Scott cleared his throat and in a rush blurted out. "Like what a selfish, egotistical, holier than thou, pain in the ass, I've been."

The Tracys were in stunned silence at Scott's rushed confession. Gordon laid his cue on the pool table and looked straight at Scott. "Excuse me?"

Scott met Gordon's look. "I've been acting like a jerk over these past weeks. I refused to acknowledge the fact that the accident was just that, an accident. I was upset about what had happened, and I felt the need to blame someone. So instead of dealing with my feelings, I found that it was easier just to get mad, to blame Alan. I used incidents from his past to accuse him, in my mind, of being immature and irresponsible and therefore responsible for the accident. Then I let my anger drift over onto you guys when you refused to think of Alan in the same way. I realize now that I was wrong. So I want to apologize to all of you for the way I have been acting. I was wrong, and I'm sorry."

The three brothers were in shock. Scott was apologizing? Scott rarely admitted that he was wrong, let alone apologize.

Virgil cleared his throat. "Well, this comes as a bit…"

"What about Alan?" Gordon interrupted.

"What?" Scott asked.

"Alan, what about Alan?" Gordon repeated. "You're here apologizing to us, but it is Alan who has been hurt the most by all this. So, again, what about him? Do you plan on apologizing to him?"

Scott nodded. "Yes, I am, but I know that it is going to take more than a simple apology to make things right with him. I really treated him badly. I just hope that in time he will forgive me."

Gordon sighed. "Good and I'm glad that you realize how badly you screwed up."

Things got quiet again until Scott spoke up. "So are we good?"

Virgil and Gordon exchanged looks. Gordon could see the question in his face. He knew that they were waiting for him to answer. Probably because he was the one who was fighting with Scott the hardest. Finally Gordon nodded. "Yeah, we're good."

John and Virgil smiled in relief. They really didn't want to take sides between the two brothers. Virgil snaked his arm around Scott's neck and pulled him close and gave him a noogie.

"Hey, hey, hey," Scott yelped while pushing himself away from Virgil.

"What?" John asked in confusion.

"Virgil gave Scott a noogie." Gordon answered in between snickers.

"Ooh, better run Virg." John said. "Your days are numbered."

Virgil shook his head. "Nah, it just feels good to have a little bit of normalcy back. Besides he deserved it."

Scott carefully smoothed his hair back into place. "Well, as much as I would like to stay and be harassed some more, I really have to go. I still have a few more apologies to make."

"Okay, Scott, we'll catch you later." Gordon replied. Scott then left the room in search of his father.

* * *

Scott entered the lounge and as expected, he found his father at his desk. Jeff looked up when his son entered. "Hello, son."

"Hello, father," Scott replied. "Can we talk?"

Jeff looked up in surprise. Things had been strained between himself and his oldest child ever since they had the argument a few weeks back. Nodding, he motioned towards one of the chairs. "Have a seat."

Scott sat down and tried to speak. "Dad…" But his throat closed off. "Damn, this ' Tracy' stubbornness." He thought. He stared at his intertwined fingers. Clearing his throat, he began again. "I came here to apologize. I was being a jerk, and I was taking my frustrations out on everyone else, especially Alan. It's been a hard month on everyone and I only made it worse by my attitude. I'm sorry."

Jeff leaned back in his chair and studied his son. "Do you mind me asking what caused this change of heart?"

Scott shook his head. "I had a talk with Kyrano."

Jeff smiled. "I take it he helped you."

Scott gave Jeff a wry smile of his own. "Yes, he did. You were right. If I had listened to you weeks ago, I could have saved myself a lot of heartache. Can you ever forgive me?"

Jeff nodded. "Of course, Scott, I'm glad that you finally came to your senses. So now what?"

"Well, I'm talking to you," Scott began. "And I've already talked to John, Virgil and Gordon. So the only one left is Alan, and he's going to be the hardest."

Jeff leaned forward and rested his arms on his desk. "I'm sure that you are right. I know that he is feeling guilty about the accident. Whenever I have tried to bring up the topic, he takes full responsibility, and then he comes up with a reason to disconnect the call."

Scott shook his head. "I really messed him up. I am ashamed of how I treated him, my own brother."

Jeff nodded. "Well, I'm trusting in you to make it right."

"No time like the present." Scott replied. "Do you mind if I have a few minutes alone to talk to Alan?"

"Right now?" Jeff asked. "Or do you want to do it face to face? Depending on how John's appointment goes next week, Alan may be coming home. If not, we will at least have to do a supply run to Five."

Scott shook his head. "Although I'm sure that we will talk more once he gets home, I need to make the apology now. It's already waited too long."

Jeff stood up. "Take all the time that you need. I would appreciate it, though, if you would let me know when you are finished." Seeing Scott nod, Jeff left the room.

Scott remained seated for a minute to collect his thoughts. Finally, he moved to the chair that his father had vacated. Keying the comm. he said. " Tracy Island calling Thunderbird Five."

Alan's portrait was replaced almost immediately by the live feed. "This is Thunderbird Five, go ahead Tracy Island."

Scott took in Alan's appearance. Even though his uniform was spotless and properly pressed, it looked like Alan himself had lost some weight, and he looked tired. Scott wondered how much sleep Alan had been getting, and if their father had noticed how Alan was looking. What upset Scott the most though was the look of fear in Alan's eyes. Scott's shame grew as he realized how much pain he had inflicted on his baby brother.

"Hey, Alan, how are things going up there?" Scott asked.

Alan gave Scott a confused look. "He's just checking up on me. He doesn't trust me to do my job." He thought. In a professional tone, he replied. "Thunderbird Five is functioning at peak efficiency. I am monitoring two unstable weather patterns that could produce destructive storms. There is a forest fire in the northern US that is under control by the fire department, but that could change if the weather changes. Is there anything else?"

Scott blew out a breath. "Actually there is. It is the real reason that I called."

Alan's face took on a grim look. "Here it comes." He thought. "My punishment. I bet he's about to relieve me of duty. Dad must not have wanted to deal with the 'confrontation', so he pushed it off on Scott. He's more than willing to throw me out of International Rescue. I wonder who is going to take my place up here. It can't be John, not yet. His eyes are not healed yet. I wonder if I will be assigned a job off the Island too. I know that they want to get rid of me totally."

Alan's thoughts were stopped short when he heard Scott say. "I called to apologize for how I treated you after John's accident."

Alan was shocked. "What?" He asked.

"I treated you incredibly badly right after John's accident." Scott said. "I was wrong and I'm sorry."

Alan watched Scott's demeanor. His oldest brother seemed nervous…on edge. He definitely looked like he would have rather been anywhere else but where he was. The only logical conclusion that Alan could come up with was that someone was forcing Scott to apologize. But who? And why? He knew how his other brothers felt about him. They wouldn't stick up for him. He couldn't picture his dad making Scott apologize for two reasons. First, their dad wasn't home to see how Scott had treated him, and secondly, their father trusted Scott implicitly, even to the point of blind trust. He would never take Alan's side over Scott's. There was really no one else whose opinion would matter to Scott. What in the world was going on?

Alan cleared his throat and carefully worded his reply. "I really don't know what to say."

Scott interrupted him. "Look, I know that this came out of nowhere. I also know that a simple apology isn't going to be enough. So how about if we talk some more about this once you get home?"

Alan nodded in confusion. "Sure, I guess we could talk then."

Scott smiled. "Thanks Alan, John's check-up is next week. Hopefully, things will be okay and you can come home."

Alan was still in a state of shock. "We can hope. Look, I need to go. I am on duty."

Scott nodded. "Okay, Alan, I'll talk to you later." He then disconnected the comm.

Alan sat in confused silence, but his mind was screaming. "What the hell is going on?" Unfortunately, he had no answers.

* * *

Author's Note - Okay, so now that Scott has come to his senses and apologized, how will that effect Alan? Stay tuned to find out.

We would like to thank all our reviewers. They are so very important to us. We can only hope that we can continue to live up to your expectations. Thanks again.


	17. Recovered?

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 17 – Recovered?

Virgil walked into the lounge and found Scott sitting behind their father's desk. He shook his head and laughed lightly at his brother. "You know that it really is too soon to hear from dad or John. His appointment was only set to begin five minutes ago and that is if the doctor was on time."

"Yeah, I know. I just want to make sure that I don't miss the call." Scott replied. He raised an eyebrow at his brother and asked. "So what are you doing in here with your accurate time telling skills?"

Virgil grinned. "The same thing that you are. I wanted to be here when the call comes in."

"Wanna bet how long before Gordon shows up?" Scott joked.

Just then Gordon entered the lounge. "Hey guys, what's up?"

Virgil and Scott shared an amused look. "I guess not." Scott said.

"I think I missed something." Gordon said in confusion.

"Never mind." Virgil responded. "So what are you doing?"

"I wanted to see if we've heard anything from John or dad?" Gordon replied.

Scott rolled his eyes. "It's too early. His set appointment just started. Even if Dr. Winter was on time, she would need time to examine his eyes. I figure that we won't hear anything for at least a half hour."

Gordon nodded. "So what are you guys doing?"

Virgil shrugged. "Just chatting. No big deal."

"About what?" Gordon continued.

"Are you trying to get at something?" Scott asked.

Gordon sighed as he sat down in a chair. "I just have a feeling that I'm not the only one who is waiting anxiously for the phone to ring."

Virgil and Scott exchanged a look and then began to laugh. "All right, all right." Virgil said. "So you've got us pegged. Now what?"

"We wait." Gordon answered. "What else."

"You have an uncanny grasp on the obvious." Scott said. "Do you want to play chess or something while we wait?"

Gordon shook his head. "Nah, I don't think that I could concentrate on a game right now."

"Neither can I." Virgil said too. "I can't help but worry about 'if the doctor was wrong'. I mean we've been holding her high expectations of recovery as hope, but now that the time for removing the bandages has come…"

"We can't think that way." Scott declared. "We have to remain optimistic. It's going to be okay. I know it."

Gordon snorted. "You know it? Up until a week ago, you were the one going around snapping at everyone, convinced that it was permanent."

Scott sighed. "Yes, I know that I behaved badly, and I did apologize. I'm just trying to look at the positive side."

Gordon nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry that I brought it up. You did apologize, and it should be put in the past."

"Speaking of apologizing," Virgil interrupted. "Has anyone else noticed Alan acting weird?"

Virgil began to explain. "It's just that whenever I call him just to talk, he cuts me off. He gives me a line about being on duty and unable to talk, but I get the sense that he is mad at me. I just don't know what for."

Scott shook his head. "I thought that it was just me. After all, I figure that he had a right to still be mad at me for the way that I treated him."

Gordon nodded. "I can understand you're feelings, Virgil. He's been doing the same thing to me."

Scott was shocked. Gordon and Alan had always been close. He was having a hard time understanding why Alan would treat Gordon, of all people, like that. "Do you think that he is carrying over his anger at me to you guys?"

Gordon shook his head. "I don't know. I've tried to get him to open up, but he just won't talk to me. I don't know what to think. There is a quietness about him that has me worried."

"Do you think that we should have dad talk to him?" Scott asked.

Gordon shook his head again. "No, I don't think so. After all, he is a grown adult. We should trust him to handle this on his own. If dad notices something and approaches Alan on his own, that's one thing, but if we bring it up to him, it would be like telling Alan that we still think of him as a child. I think that would only make matters worse."

"Okay Gordon," Scott replied. "You know Alan better than us, so we'll follow your lead."

Virgil suddenly began to pace. "God, what is taking so long? Why haven't we heard something?"

Gordon laughed. "A watched pot never boils."

"Oh that's deep." Virgil snorted.

"Come on. We are going to drive ourselves nuts if we don't do something." Gordon said. "Let's play some cards while we wait."

Virgil shook his head. "You just figure that this is your only chance to make some money off of us."

Gordon went over to a cupboard and pulled out a deck of cards. "We won't play poker. We'll play something simple that we don't have to concentrate on like 'Go Fish" or "Crazy Eights'. No money will change hands."

Virgil laughed. "Do you know how long it's been since I've played 'Go Fish'?"

Gordon joined in the laughter. "Probably a while. We used to play it in WASP."

Virgil gave him a surprised look. "You played it in WASP?"

Gordon grinned sheepishly. "We turned it into a drinking game."

Virgil shook his head. "I don't think that I want to know."

Gordon laughed. "Well, let's just say that when you're planning on getting sloshed drunk, you don't want to have to concentrate too hard. Come on, let's revisit our childhood and play some 'Go Fish'."

Virgil smiled and nodded. "All right. I guess it's better than sitting around waiting for the phone to ring."

"Great" Gordon said. "Hey Scott, are you going to join us?"

Scott shook his head. "No, I've got some work to finish up here."

"Aw, come on," Gordon whined. "Don't be such a stick in the mud. Besides, you know that you aren't really going to be able to concentrate on work."

Scott looked at Virgil who just shrugged. He knew that Gordon was right about his ability to concentrate at the moment. "Okay, let's play." He said as he got up from the desk.

The three brothers spent the next hour playing cards and laughing. Finally the phone rang. They looked at each other, but no one made the first move to answer it. They had been anxious to hear from their father before, but now that the phone was ringing, they were nervous to answer it.

Scott stood suddenly and said, "I'll get it." He sat down at the desk and connected the phone. His father's face appeared on the vid-screen.

Jeff was the first to speak. "Hello, Scott."

Scott nodded. "Hello, Dad, how's John?"

"Good for the most part." Jeff replied. "But we will have to stay in Sydney for a couple of days."

By this time, Virgil and Gordon had made their way to the desk. "Why? What's wrong?" Gordon demanded. "He's not…"

Jeff interrupted. "No, he's not. He can see. The vision in his left eye is normal, but the vision in his right eye is cloudy. Dr. Winter said that he has developed some scar tissue in that eye. The good news is that Dr. Winter believes that she can remove it by laser surgery."

"When will she do it?" Scott asked.

"She's going to do it tomorrow." Jeff replied.

"So soon?" Gordon interjected.

Jeff nodded. "The surgery will be done as an out-patient procedure. It should only take an hour or so, but the doctor wants us to remain in Sydney overnight just as a safety precaution."

"So, how is John taking all this?" Scott asked.

"Yeah, where is he?" Gordon questioned.

Jeff smiled. "He's doing well. He was very relieved when he could see. Right now he's gone for a walk. He said that he wanted to enjoy just the ability to see."

"So, after the surgery tomorrow, his vision will be totally restored?" Virgil asked.

Jeff sobered a bit. "In time, the doctor wants him to wear an eye patch for a couple of weeks just to rest the eye and make sure that it heals properly."

"An eye patch?" Gordon snickered. "Now, won't that make a pretty picture? Our brother, a one-eyed jack."

"A playing card?" Virgil laughed. "How boring. I would have thought that you would have thought up something more exciting like a pirate or something."

Gordon made a wry face. "But this is John who we are talking about."

"Okay boys, that's enough." Jeff said laughing. "Expect us home the day after tomorrow. I'll call you if our plans change."

"Okay, Father, are you going to call Alan and let him know? Or do you want me to?" Scott asked.

"Actually, I already have." Jeff replied. "After all the worry and guilt that he has been putting himself through these past weeks, I wanted him to be the first to know what has happened."

Scott nodded. "That makes sense. How'd he take it?"

Jeff shook his head. "I'm not sure. He thanked me for the information, but then he disconnected the call saying that he was on duty and had to keep his attention focused. I'm not sure if I should be worried about him or not. He could just be being extra cautious after what happened, but then again, there could be something more."

"I wish that I could help you." Scott replied. "We were just talking about that a bit ago, but none of us have any answers."

"I know." Jeff said. "I'll have to think about it, and talk to him some more to try to figure out what is going on with him. I'm going to go now. We'll see you in a couple of days."

"Okay Father," Scott replied. "Let John know that we are glad to hear that his prognosis is looking good."

"You got it. Goodbye boys." Jeff said as he disconnected the call.

Once the call ended, Gordon grinned at his brothers. "Great that gives me a whole day to get things ready."

"Get what things ready?" Scott asked in confusion.

"For John's welcome home party of course." Gordon replied.

"Now Gordon…" Scott began.

"Don't 'now Gordon' me." Gordon interrupted. "You promised that I could throw him a huge welcome home party if things went well when the bandages came off."

"He has a point." Virgil interjected. "You did promise him."

"And I've already decided what to do." Gordon said excitedly. "Virgil gave me the idea."

"I did?" Virgil questioned trying to think of what he had said that Gordon had latched on to.

Gordon looked at Virgil with a puzzled expression. "Of course, you mentioned pirates."

"Pirates?" Scott questioned.

Virgil just groaned. "Oh God, what have I done?"

Gordon excitedly rambled. "Think about it. I can hang a couple of 'jolly roger' flags around. I'll make a treasure chest with those gold foil wrapped chocolate coins. We can all wear pirate hats and say stuff like 'ahoy mates' or 'shiver me timbers' and we can sing pirates songs, and rum…we can drink lots of rum."

"Rum?" Scott questioned. "Why rum?"

Gordon rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, it's a well known fact that pirates drank rum. Grog was nothing more than watered down rum."

Scott just raised an eyebrow at Gordon while Virgil tried to hide his smirk.

Gordon continued to ramble in exasperation trying to get his point across. "It's mentioned in a lot of their songs."

"Oh really?" Virgil said, winding up Gordon even more. "Like what?"

Gordon was so wrapped up in his party ideas that he didn't realize that his older brothers were yanking his chain. "I don't believe this." He began to sing. "Fifteen men on a dead man's chest…yo ho and a bottle of rum."

Scott and Virgil broke out in laughter. "Don't give up your day job." Virgil said.

Gordon made a face at Virgil. "Ha ha." He said trying to sound stern but eventually broke into laughter of his own.

"That sounds like a lot to do in less than two days." Scott said. "You don't have any of the things that you mentioned."

Gordon nodded. "I know, but I can go to Christchurch in the morning to get the stuff."

Scott shook his head. "I can't spare you. What if we get a rescue call?"

"Oh come on, Scott." Gordon argued. "You can't do this to me. I've been waiting weeks for this opportunity."

Scott sighed. "All right, but you can only have two hours in Christchurch. So you better plan your time carefully."

Gordon grinned. "Great, I can handle that. I'm gonna go talk to Kyrano about the food. I can pick up anything that he needs while I'm in town."

"You better talk to Brains too." Virgil added. "If we are going to be drinking, he better have some of his 'anti-alcohol' medication in case we do get a call during or right after the party."

"Right," Gordon nodded. "And I also need to call Penny. She'd like to be here. I'm sure. Look, I'm going to go start working on the plans. I'll see you guys later." He then left the lounge.

Scott shook his head. "Somehow, I have a feeling that we are going to regret letting him have free reign over this party."

"Not we," Virgil laughed. "Just you, big brother. You were the one who promised him 'one huge blow-out of a party', not me."

Scott made a face at Virgil. "Gee, thanks for the support."

Virgil just laughed, and Scott joined in with him.

* * *

The next day Virgil was playing the piano while Scott sat at the desk working on Tracy Industries business when Gordon called in from his return flight from Christchurch. "Tracy Three calling Tracy Island. Come in please." 

Scott keyed the comm. unit. "This is Tracy Island, go ahead Tracy Three."

"I am about five minutes out, requesting landing clearance." Gordon said.

Scott checked the Island radar. "I have you on radar. You are clear to land. You made good time. I didn't expect you back for another twenty minutes."

"Yeah, the shopping didn't take that long. I pre-ordered a lot of the stuff so it was just waiting for me to pick it up." Gordon replied. "Hey, I can hear Virg playing the piano. Can you ask him to meet me and help me unload the plane?"

Scott looked over at Virgil who nodded. "You got it Gordon. He'll meet you in the hanger."

"F-A-B, Scott" Gordon said. "I'll see you guys in a few minutes."

* * *

Ten minutes later, Virgil entered the hanger. Gordon had just stepped from the plane. "Hey Virg, can you grab a trolley to load this stuff on?" 

"A trolley?" Virgil asked as he grabbed the trolley. "How much stuff did you buy?"

"Not much." Gordon replied as he began to unload the plane. "Just some decorations. I found these great pirate hats for us to wear. I got some skull and cross bone flags to hang up along with a bunch of black and white balloons. The plates and napkins I got have the same skull and cross bone design as the flags. I also found these cool metal tankards that you see used in the movies."

Virgil shook his head. "I have to admit pirate movies were never really my thing."

"You should try watching them." Gordon laughed. "Most of them were a hoot."

"Maybe we should watch one tonight." Virgil said. "After all, if I'm supposed to be a pirate, I'd better learn how to act like one." He looked over the loaded trolley. "Is this everything?"

Gordon looked over the trolley. "Just one more thing." He said as he ducked back into the cockpit. When he emerged, he carried a cage with a large bird in it.

Virgil raised an eyebrow. "What the hell is that?"

Gordon looked at Virgil and then to the bird. "This, my dear brother, is a bird…a blue and gold macaw to be exact."

Virgil rolled his eyes. "I know what 'it' is. I have seen macaws before. My question should have been: why do you have it? And why was it in the cockpit?"

"I was talking to her on the flight home." Gordon replied. "I call her Polly."

"Oh, now that's original." Virgil smirked. "But why do you have her? You didn't say anything about buying a parrot when you left this morning."

"She's a gift for John." Gordon replied. "And I didn't say anything earlier because I hadn't thought about it. There was an exotic pet shop next to the party store. Polly was in the window, and I just decided to get her."

"Gordon" Virgil said in exasperation. "I can't believe that you bought a bird on the spur of the moment. What if John doesn't want a pet? Have you thought about that?"

"Why wouldn't he want a pet?" Gordon argued. "Especially one that is as pretty as Polly here." Gordon ran his finger along the cage and cooed to the bird. "Isn't that right, Polly? Pretty Bird…Polly is a pretty bird." Polly let out a squawk.

Virgil shook his head. "Maybe John just isn't interested in a pet. I've never heard him mention wanting one, not even when we were kids. Have you?"

Gordon continued to argue. "That doesn't mean anything. When have you ever heard John ask for what he wants? I mean we have to practically drag ideas out of him for birthdays and Christmas. He'll love her." Again cooing to the bird, he said. "I know he will. Who could not love such a pretty bird?" Polly squawked at Gordon again.

Virgil continued pressing his point. "Have you forgotten that John spends half his time up on Five? What is he going to do with her while he's gone?"

Gordon couldn't understand why Virgil was arguing about this. "He'll do like Alan does with his gator. He'll ask one of us to take care of her."

Virgil shook his head. "Not me. I don't want anything to do with her."

Gordon looked startled. "Why not? What could you possibly have against Polly?"

"Not just her," Virgil replied. "I don't like birds in general."

Gordon waited for Virgil to continue, and when he didn't he said. "I never realized that you suffered from ornithophobia."

"I am **not** afraid of birds." Virgil said indignantly. "I just don't like them."

Now Gordon's curiosity was aroused. "There's got to be a story behind this. Do tell. Were you once attacked by a bird? Or maybe a whole flock of them like in the Alfred Hitchcock's movie 'The Birds'?"

"Nothing so dramatic." Virgil replied.

When Virgil didn't continue, Gordon pressed. "Come on. Tell me why you don't like birds."

Virgil gave Gordon a wry look. "Why does it matter to you?"

"Because I'm interested in my brothers." Gordon answered. "If you had a traumatic dealing with a bird, I'd like to know. Maybe I can help you get over it."

Virgil laughed derisively. "Yeah right, you just want to know so that you can tease me about it."

Gordon gave Virgil a hang-dogged look. "Virg, I'm hurt. I'm just trying to be helpful. Come on. You know that you want to tell someone. Unburden yourself to me. You know that you will eventually."

Virgil snorted. "You mean that you will continue to hound me until I finally give up and tell you."

Gordon just raised an eyebrow and waited for his brother to continue.

Virgil sighed. "Fine, I'll tell you. When I was nine, my best friend, Dick, had a cockatiel. It would sit on his shoulder as he moved around his room. When Dick would get near me, the bird would hop from his shoulder on to mine, and the stupid thing would poop on me."

Gordon started to laugh. "So, you don't like birds because one pooped on you when you were a kid?"

Virgil shook his head. "I told you that it wasn't anything exciting, and I wasn't pooped on just once. That stupid cockatiel pooped on me I don't know how many times. Whenever it sat on me, shoulders, arms…whatever, it pooped. It got to be really annoying."

Talking more to the bird than to Virgil, Gordon said. "Well, Polly won't poop on you. Will you, pretty bird?" Polly whistled and then followed it by a squawk.

Virgil gave the bird a disgusting look. "Why does it keep squawking? I thought those kind of birds could talk."

"They repeat actually." Gordon said. "And you have to work with them to teach them. The pet shop owner has worked with her some, but she is young and all she knows how to do right now is whistle." Addressing the bird, he continued. "Isn't that right, Polly? Right, pretty bird?"

"Well, come on; let's get this stuff in the house." Virgil said. "But just keep that thing in her cage when I'm around."

Gordon sighed. "Okay, but I wish that you would just give her a chance. She'll grow on you if you would let her. Won't you sweetheart?" To which Polly answered with another whistle.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Virgil muttered, as he began to push the trolley across the hanger.

Gordon followed behind carrying Polly. "Have we heard anything from Penny?"

"Yeah,' Virgil answered. "She should be arriving in about an hour. She said that she was looking forward to the party. Although from what you have said, I think the party is more Parker's style than Lady P's."

Laughing, the two brothers headed towards the house while keeping the conversation light.

* * *

Author's Note - Yeah!!! John can see!!! Yippee!! Okay, leaving Gordon in charge of the welcome home party??? Not really the best idea. We wonder how John is going to react to it. Especially a new pet???

Anyways, we hope that you enjoyed this chapter. There wasn't too much action, but at least we got some GOOD news. Again, thanks to everyone who have been reviewing. We really do appreciate them so much.


	18. Welcome Home

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Author's Note – In this chapter there will be lyrics in _italics_ which is to indicate that is simply music being played in the background. We'll have a longer author's note at the end of this chapter to credit authors and such.

Chapter 18 – Welcome Home

The next afternoon Jeff and John were heading towards the lounge. "I'm surprised that your brothers weren't in the hanger to meet us. They were pretty excited that your recovery ended up so well."

John paused outside the lounge door. "That can only mean one thing."

Jeff glanced at the open door. "You're right. Are you up to this? Who knows what your brothers have cooked up?"

"Yeah," John replied. "I wouldn't want to disappoint them after all the trouble that they went through."

Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Do you know something that I don't?"

John laughed. "Not anything specific, but when have you ever known my brothers to do anything halfway?"

Jeff laughed along with John. "Well, I guess we better go face the music."

John nodded and entered the lounge. As soon as he cleared the doorway, a chorus of "surprise" greeted him. He looked around and saw the balloons and pirate flags, but what made him laugh out loud was the sight of the party goers. Scott, Gordon and Parker were wearing a variety of pirate style hats. Parker was even wearing a long black wig under his hat. Virgil and Penney were wearing head scarves. Penny's was adorned with strings of beads around the edge that gave it a jeweled look. Even Kyrano was wearing a pirate hat which made a humorous contrast with his oriental robes.

Gordon approached John carrying a hat. "Ahoy, I spot some land-lubbers in our midst." Placing the hat on John's head, he continued. "Arrr, now you tar look like one of me mates." Gordon then dashed over and turned on the stereo. Music began to play from various speakers around the room.

_"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me._

_We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot._

_Drink up me 'earties, yo ho._

_We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot._

_Drink up me 'earties, yo ho." (1)_

"What is that?" John laughed.

Gordon held his arms out in an exaggerated gesture. "It is but a shanty, a song of the sea to aid us through the day's work."

"_We're rascals and scoundrels, we're villains and knaves._

_Drink up me 'earties, yo ho._

_We're devils and black sheep, we're really bad eggs._

_Drink up me 'earties, yo ho." (1)_

Kyrano stepped forward and greeted the two Tracys. "Mr. Tracy, Mr. John, welcome home. My wish is that you enjoy this affair. However, I must return to the kitchen to assist Mrs. Tracy with the evening meal."

"I'm surprised that my mother wasn't here to meet us when we got home." Jeff responded.

Kyrano bowed slightly. "Mrs. Tracy insisted that I come. She remarked that because of my gender that I would appreciate this function more than she." He took his hat off and handed it to Jeff. "She was wrong." He said as he left the lounge.

Jeff laughed out loud. "And it's only just getting started. Where did you guys get all this stuff?"

"Shiver me timbers," Gordon exclaimed as he held out a different hat and telescope to his father. "Forgive this addled bosun, me Cap'n. 'Ere is you hat and spyglass. I hope you find everything shipshape."

Jeff laid Kyrano's hat down and placed his on his head, and the he looked around at the rest of the group. "Is everyone going to be talking 'pirate-ese'?"

Scott shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Yeah, he's been 'studying' a pirate's glossary since yesterday." Virgil commented.

"So you've had to deal with this since yesterday?" John asked, as he sat down on the couch.

"Avast," Gordon said. "Me Cap'n, you should make these bilge-sucking blaggards swab the deck for their derelict attitude."

_"Oh, better far to live and die_

_Under the brave black flag I fly,_

_Than play a sanctimonious part_

_With a pirate head and a pirate heart._

_Away to the cheating world go you,_

_Where pirates all are well-to-do;_

_But I'll be true to the song I sing,_

_And live and die a pirate king._

_For I am a pirate king_

_And it is, it is a glorious thing_

_To be a pirate king!_

_For I am a pirate king!" (2)_

Scott rolled his eyes at Gordon. "So when did you guys leave Sydney? I guess I expected you guys home earlier than this."

"Well, we did some shopping before we left." John said.

"So a sutler you did visit." Gordon responded.

John looked at Gordon in confusion. "What?"

Penny came to the rescue as she sat in a chair across from John. "Never mind him, dear. We have more important things to talk about. How are you feeling?"

"Better." John answered. "A lot better, actually." He took a deep breath and continued. "Look guys, I know that I haven't been the easiest person to live with these past few weeks, and I'm sorry for that. Looking back, it seems silly to have let my fears run wild like they did. I should have had more faith in my doctor, but I didn't, and I can't change what I did or said. I can only hope that you can forgive me."

Virgil patted John's shoulder. "Of course we forgive you. We know that you were going through a difficult time."

"And to prove that there are no hard feelings, we have something for you. I'll be right back." Gordon said as he left the lounge.

_"Shiver my timbers, shiver my soul_

_Yo ho he ho_

_There are men who's hearts are black as coal._

_And they sailed their ship across the ocean blue_

_A blood thirsty captain and a cut throat crew._

_It's a darker talk as was ever told_

_Of a lust for treasure and a love of gold._

_Shiver my timbers, shiver my sides_

_Yo ho he ho_

_There are hungers as strong as the winds and tides." (3)_

Virgil shook his head. "'We' did not get this for you. This was all Gordon's idea."

John grimaced. "That doesn't sound good. Would I be correct in assuming that this 'gift' has something to do with this 'pirate' motif?"

Scott laughed. "We wouldn't want to give away the surprise. You'll just have to be patient."

The group chatted away amicably while waiting for Gordon to return which he did in just a few minutes. When he re-entered the lounge, he carried a covered item. Setting it down in front of John, he said. "I have someone who wants to meet you. Her name is Polly." Gordon then pulled the cover off and flamboyantly yelled. "Ta-da."

John stared at the bird in the cage. "A parrot?"

"Aye," Gordon said. "Every hearty buccaneer needs a bird to ride his shoulder."

"Technically it's a Macaw," Virgil interjected. "Part of the 'parrot' family."

John shook his head. "Well whatever it is… what made you think that I would want one?"

Virgil raised an eyebrow at Gordon. "Gordon, do you want to answer that one?"

Gordon stood there in shock for a moment. Questions quickly ran through his mind. "Could Virgil have been right? Did he get too carried away in his 'pirate' thinking that he didn't consider John's desire for a pet? Why wouldn't he want a pet? And why not Polly?" Clearing his throat, he began. "I just thought that maybe you'd like a pet. After all you've never had one. This bird is perfect. You can take her out of the cage if you want to walk with her on your shoulder, or if you're busy she is perfectly happy staying in her cage. You can teach her to talk…in who knows how many languages."

"What will I do with her while I'm on Five?" John asked.

"I'll take care of her." Gordon volunteered.

John shook his head. "I don't know." But seeing Gordon's puppy dog look, he gave in. "All right, we'll give it a try, but no promises."

Gordon visible brightened. "Great, you'll love her. I just know it."

"She is a beautiful bird." Lady Penelope observed.

"And smart too." Gordon added. "She can already whistle, and I've been working with her on 'pretty bird', but so far she hasn't repeated it. She's the perfect companion for a pirate."

"I just have one question." John said. "Whose bright idea was it to declare me a 'pirate'?"

Simultaneously, John got the replies, "Virgil's", "Gordon's".

"Hey, you were the one who called him a pirate." Gordon protested to Virgil. "I called him a 'one-eyed Jack'."

"Excuse me?" John said a tad bit on the terse side. "I'm so glad that I can be a source of amusement for you."

Virgil sighed. "Sorry John. We didn't mean anything by it. It was just the sense of relief that things went as well as they did."

At this point, Kyrano arrived at the door. "I am sorry to interrupt, but dinner is ready to be served." He turned and headed back to the kitchen.

Gordon slipped back into his "pirate" mode. "Come then smartly, me hearties. It is time for grub."

John groaned. "Please tell me that dinner is **not** going to be salted meats and hard tack."

Virgil laughed. "No, Kyrano refused to make anything like that."

"I don't know why not." Gordon grumbled. "Some of those recipes I found on-line didn't sound so bad."

"And some of them were really bad." Virgil grimaced. "So, I for one am glad that Kyrano decided to make a normal meal."

John laughed. Turning to Lady Penelope, he asked with exaggerated flair. "Lady Penelope Creighton Ward would you do me the immense honor in allowing me to escort you to the evening repast?"

" 'hat don't sound too pirate-like." Parker said."

"You are right about that." John replied. "So how about we leave our 'pirate' garb here while we eat."

That suggestion was met with unanimous approval as the group took off their hats or scarves. Even Gordon removed his hat, but he did mutter "party-poopers".

* * *

Dinner was a lively affair with good food and plenty of laughter. Jeff smiled in relief. The cloud of doubt and fear that had hung over the family the past weeks had finally begun to lift. 

John leaned back in his chair. "That meal was great Kyrano. I ate way too much."

Kyrano bowed slightly at the praise. "Thank you Mr. John, but your grandmother was the creator of this meal. I merely assisted her."

"Oh, stuff and nonsense." Grandma said. "I couldn't have put together this large of a meal without your help."

"And it's not done yet." Gordon added. "He made a ton of snack foods for the rest of the party."

"Rest of the party?" John asked. "How much more 'party' did you plan?"

"Arrr, me matey," Gordon growled. "We shall partake of merriment until the wee hours of the morn."

"And just what do pirates do at a party?" John laughed.

Gordon laughed with his brother. "Well, me bucko, we sing. We drink the grog, maybe even dance with a wench."

Parker's eyes narrowed. " 'ey, there. Yous watch 'ore tongue, young man."

Gordon reddened a bit. "I'm sorry, Parker, Penny, I didn't mean anything by it. Really, that's just what pirates call a woman."

"Well, it doesn't sound nice, and I won't have you insulting our guest, 'pirate talk' or not." Jeff admonished.

Penny shook her head and reached out and covered Gordon's hand with her own. "I know that you are just playing a character. I am not offended, regardless of what others may think."

Gordon relaxed and grinned. "Thanks Penny. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in things that I don't always think things through."

"Only sometimes?" Scott said teasingly.

Gordon rolled his eyes. "Ha ha, very funny Scott. Anyways, in English, I've got music that we can sing or dance to. I've picked out a couple of movies that we can watch if you guys want to. Kyrano made the snacks for us to munch on throughout the evening. Plus, I made sure that we have plenty of liquid refreshments."

"Not too much, I hope." Jeff interrupted. "The three of you are on duty."

Gordon nodded. "Yes, Father, we know what our limitations are."

John stood up from the table. "Well, let's get the kitchen cleaned up, and we'll head back to the 'party'."

Kyrano stepped forward to take John's plate. "Please, allow me. Enjoy your evening without thought of chores."

Gordon also stood up. "We can't let you. You've already done so much for this evening. This is the least we can do."

It was Parker's turn to stand. "Wit' 'er Ladyship's permission, H'I can tend to the cleanin'."

Virgil was the next person to stand. "Please Parker, how many times do we have to tell you that when you're here, you're a guest. You don't have to do our work."

"H'I don't mind. Really, h'I don't." Parker started to argue.

Jeff started to laugh. Speaking to his mother, he said. "Look at them, four grown men arguing over who's going to do the work." Turning towards the others, he continued. "Okay, time for an executive decision. The way you guys are going, you're going to spend more time arguing about it than it would take to do the job. I say that everyone work together and that'll get the job done in just a short time. Am I clear?"

The table rang with, "Yes, sir" "Yes, Mr. Tracy" "Okay, Dad" and "Yes, Father". Sure enough, Jeff's prediction came true. In just a few minutes, the table was cleared and the dishes were in the dishwasher.

* * *

Two hours later, the party goers had just finished watching the movie "Adventures of Captain Fabian." 

"That was such a nice movie." Grandma sighed as she clicked her needles away as she worked on her knitting. "I always thought that Errol Flynn was a **good** looking man."

"I bet dad just loved that." Jeff remarked.

Grandma just laughed. "Oh, he knew better than to be jealous of my 'dream' men. He knew that he was the only real man for me. "

Gordon turned to his brothers. "So what did you guys think?"

Virgil just shrugged.

"It was interesting." John replied. "A lot of action."

"Yeah, there was." Scott added. "I figured that a movie from the 1950s would be boring."

Gordon laughed. "No way man, it was a great time of movie making. Since there wasn't much in the way of special effects, most of the success of a film rested on the ability of the actors. Sometimes I think that technology has stolen some of the artistry from the movie industry."

Virgil shook his head. "Who would have thought it? Our Gordon, waxing philosophical about the effects of technology on the movie business."

"Well, at least technology allows us to access those old movies." Jeff said as he placed some chicken wings and some fruit slices on his plate.

"That's true." Gordon replied as he sat down next to John, handing him a tankard. "Here, I brought you another drink."

John took the cup. "God, Gordon, I've already had three drinks. If I didn't know better, I would think you're trying to get me drunk."

Gordon patted his brother's knee. "Well, enjoy it. You're the only one who can get drunk at this time. The rest of us are still on call. Even with Brains' 'anti-alcohol' pills, we have to limit how much we can drink. Come on; let us live vicariously through you."

John rolled his eyes. "All right, but this is the last drink. I don't want a hangover in the morning."

"Of course," Gordon replied. "Whatever you want. Speaking of want…what movie do you want to watch next? I thought we could do a comedy next. Let's see…I have 'Abbott and Costello Meet Captain Kidd' and 'The Princess Bride', or I also got 'Muppets Treasure Island'."

"Muppets?" Virgil asked. "Aren't they for kids?"

Gordon shook his head. "Not necessarily. Granted kids did love them, but they did have a large adult following."

"Abbott and Costello," John said. "They were that old, old comedy team that did a whole series of 'Abbott and Costello meet' movies. Right?"

Gordon nodded. "Yeah, they 'met' Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the mummy, and the invisible man, just to name a few. But they were probably most famous for their 'Who's on First' comedy routine."

John thought for a moment. "I think I might have seen that movie on the 'Late Night Classical Movie Theater' not too long ago."

"So does that mean you don't want to watch it?" Virgil asked.

John nodded. "I'd rather not. I've also seen 'The Princess Bride' a couple of times. So, I guess that leaves us with 'Muppet Treasure Island'."

"Great, I'll get it set up." Gordon said as he sorted through the movie discs. "Hey, I forgot about this."

"What is it?" His father asked.

"It's a comedy music video." Gordon replied. "I found 'A Pirate song' done by a guy named Ray Stevens."

"Oh, I remember him." Grandma interrupted. "Your grandfather enjoyed his music. His favorite video was 'The Mississippi Squirrel Revival'."

"Well, when I saw this video, I was reminded of John." Gordon laughed.

John grimaced. "That doesn't sound too promising. Well, let's see it. That way I'll know how much I'm going to kill you."

Gordon grinned. "Arrr, me mate wants to have me flogged or keelhauled."

John returned the grin. "No, I'll just make you walk the plank."

"You have no originality." Gordon muttered as the music began to play.

The video began with a man napping on the beach dreaming of a pirate ship. Three gapped-tooth pirates were singing

_Sixteen men on a dead man's chest…_

_Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. (4)_

The captain and a brightly clothed yet overly feminine acting pirate began talking.

_(Captain)Avast there mates, ye're sailin' with Long John Blackbeard, Peg-Leg, Patch-eye Hook, scourge of the bounding main. Bloodthirstiest, black-heartiest pirate captain ever sailed the seven seas, ha, ha, ha! What say ye we hoist the Jolly Roger, heel over the yonder Spanish galleon. Lay a few broadsides agin' her timers, swing over on these here lanyards with our cutlasses in our teeth, cut 'em to ribbons, and split the booty. What say ye to that, me hearties? Heh! Ha, ha, ha, ha!_

_(Pirate)I don't like it…_

_(Captain)You don't like it?_

_(Pirate)I don't like it and I don't wanna do it. It's tacky…tacky, tacky…and don't look at me that way._

_(Captain)Well, if you don't like it, what do you want? (4)_

"Aren't those two the same guy?" Virgil asked.

Gordon nodded. "Yep, and he's also the guy who is sleeping on the beach."

"I guess that's one way to cut the production budget." Virgil laughed.

_(Pirate – singing)I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance_

_I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance_

_Wear me silver-buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants_

_I want to sing and dance (4)_

"Um, Gordon, I probably really don't want to know this, but just exactly what reminded you of me?" John asked.

"The pirate of course." Gordon answered.

"I don't act like that." John replied indignantly.

Gordon laughed. "But your sash is the same pretty shade of lavender as his hat and shirt." Gordon laughed even harder when John rolled his eyes since only one was visible.

_(Captain) You want to sing and dance, heh! You don't like plundering, aye? Well, shiver me timbers 'ow 'bout treasuring, huh? Rubies, emeralds and pearls, gold doubloons and British sovereigns. Silver chalices encrusted with diamonds and jewels, necklaces and bracelets of every shape and size, fit for the crown heads of Europe, aye? And all buried in a pirate's chest and I just happen to know where, how about that me bloodthirsty buckos, heh? Ha, ha, ha!_

_(Pirate)I don't like it…_

_(Captain)You don't like it?_

_(Pirate)I don't like it and I don't want it._

_(Captain)He don't want it_

_(Pirate)And I won't do it…I'm an artiste_

_(Captain)An artiste, well Mister Artiste, what do you want?_

_(Pirate-singing) I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance_

_I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance_

_Wear me silver-buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants_

_I want to sing and dance (4)_

"An artiste hey," Scott said. "Virgil, you're the 'artiste' around here. Maybe you and John should switch sashes."

"I don't think so." Virgil said making a face at his oldest brother.

John gave Virgil a saucy grin. "I know he wants his sash changed to that bright fuchsia of that coat."

"Don't even think about it." Virgil growled. "I had better not find a 'new' sash the next time we're called out. Do you hear me Gordon?"

"What?" Gordon held his hands up in protest. "I didn't say anything."

"But I'm sure that you're thinking it." Virgil countered. Gordon just laughed.

_(Captain)Now, listen hear! This ain't no floating Gilbert and Sullivan show, you know for some little flittin' tinkerbell. This here be a black-hearted pirate ship and I would have you keel-hauled if you weren't me own flesh and blood you little twit! So you don't like plunderin' aye?..._

_(Pirate)I don't like it…_

_(Captain)And you don't want no treasurin' ah?..._

_(Pirate)I don't want it…_

_(Captain)And you probably don't want no groggin' and revelin' and wenchin' and rummin' either I suppose?_

_(Pirate)Well, deep down…you want to know the truth? It's not me, I don't want it…_

_(Captain)Well, what do you want…as if I didn't already bleedin' know?_

_(Pirate)I want to sing and dance and…_

_(Captain)I know, I know…and wear your tight little shiny pants. Huh! Okay…we'll all sing and dance (the other pirates grumble)…I said we'll all sing and dance (more grumbling)…or you'll walk the plank,…one-two-free (4)_

Gordon jumped up and started to sing and dance along with the pirates on the screen. "Come on guys, dance with us."

Scott laughed. "We'll let you uphold the honor of the Tracy clan."

"Partypoopers" Gordon told them and went back to singing.

_(All the pirates)I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance_

_I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance_

_Wear me silver-buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants_

_I want to sing and dance_

_(Over the singing pirates)_

_(Pirate) I like it…I like it_

_(Captain)I kinda like it me own self_

_(Pirate)Thought you would (4)_

"Gordon, you're a nut." Virgil snickered.

_Sixteen men on a dead man's chest…_

_Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum_

_(Pirate)I don't like rum…_

_(Captain)You don't like rum? (4)_

John held up his tankard. "I like rum."

"I prefer scotch." Scott added.

"Of course you do, Jeff Jr." Virgil teased.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Jeff demanded.

_(Pirate)Well, no actually…well, I might like a little Perrier_

_(Captain)A little Perrier?_

_(Pirate)With a lime in it… _

_(Captain)A lime in it?...he wants a lime in it… (4)_

"Aw, father" Scott said. "He's just jealous that Perrier with a lime is the hardest drink that he can handle."

"Excuse me," Virgil snorted. "I could drink you under the table any day."

"In your dreams, little brother." Scott laughed.

_(Pirate)Well, do you have any escargot?_

_(Captain)Escar…what?_

_(Pirate)What's the soup today?_

_(Captain)Soup!?_

_(Pirate)Might have a bit of a salad too!_

_(Captain)Well, how about a bleeding fingerbowl?_

_(Pirate) Maybe a croissant!...Is that right? Those French make everything so hard! Why didn't they just call it a bun? (4)_

The dream fades out as the napping man wakes up on the beach and the video ends.

"Wasn't that a cute video?" Gordon asked as he readied the next movie.

"You know what?" Jeff said. "I haven't had escargot in quite a while. I think I'll request that of Kyrano."

"With soup?" John teased.

"And salad?" Scott added.

"Don't forget the fingerbowl!" Virgil laughed.

"Ha ha" Gordon groused. "You guys have no sense of humor."

"Oh don't mind them dear," Grandma said as she began to wrap up her knitting. "It was a cute video. It brought back some precious memories to me. Thank you, but I believe that I will be off to bed now."

"Let me help you Mother," Jeff said. "I think that I will retire for the night too."

A round of "Goodnight, Grandma" and "Goodnight Dad" were made as they left the lounge.

John stood up and grabbed Penny's hand. "Lady P, would you like to dance with me while we wait for Gordo here to get things set up?"

"It's ready now." Gordon replied.

John rolled his eyes. "Dance with me anyways."

Penny took his hand. "It would be my pleasure to dance with you. But what about music?"

Turning towards his brother, John asked. "Hey Virg, would you mind?"

Virgil moved to the piano. "Not at all. Any requests?"

"Do you know any pirate songs?" Gordon asked.

"Not off the top of my head." Virgil replied, opening the piano bench. "I probably could find some sheet music to one."

Penny laughed lightly. "Just play anything for us."

"You got it." Virgil said as he ran his fingers up the keyboard. John and Penny began to dance to the sonnet that Virgil began to play. Unfortunately, due to the amount of alcohol that he had consumed, John was a bit unsteady on his feet. After he had stepped on Penny's toes three times, Scott decided to rescue her.

"May I cut in?" Scott asked.

"Go fin your own girl." John slightly slurred.

"Come on," Scott said pushing John a little. "I'm sure that Penny would like to be able to walk once the song is over."

"I'm not that bad." John asserted, but then asked Penny. "Am I?"

Lady Penelope patted John's arm. "I won't lie to you dear boy. I've had better dance partners." Hearing Gordon giggle in the background, she continued. "But I've also had worse."

"Come on, guys," Gordon broke in. "Let's just watch the movie. Then John's dancing skills won't matter."

"Fine" John grumbled as he plopped down on the couch. "But I **can** dance."

"I know. I know." Gordon said comfortingly handing him his cup. "Here, drink your drink."

John looked at his full cup in confusion. "I could've sworn I drank some out of this cup."

"Nah, you're probably just thinking about the previous cup." Gordon smirked.

John appeared to think for a moment. "Yeah, you're probably right." He then took a long draught of his drink.

Scott shook his head. John must already be halfway drunk if he didn't realize that Gordon had refilled his glass when he wasn't looking. Scott caught Virgil's eye. From the smirk that Virgil gave him, he knew that Virgil had thought the same thing.

The rest of the evening was spent eating and watching the movie. Plenty of jokes were made throughout the movie. During that time Gordon continued to add more alcohol to John's tankard, so by the time that the movie was over, John was snoring loudly on the couch.

Scott looked over at his sleeping brother and then towards Gordon. "How much did you give him to drink?"

Gordon shrugged. "I don't know. I kind of lost count when I was refilling his glass on the sly. Sometimes it was just a little bit, other times it was half a glass."

Virgil laughed. "I can't believe that he didn't catch on that you were refilling it."

"I know." Gordon laughed. "But he had already had a few drinks, so he really wasn't thinking straight at the time."

"So now that he's practically passed out, what are you going to do with him?" Scott asked.

"I'm going to put him to bed." Gordon answered. Turning towards Virgil, he asked his own question. "Hey, Virg, can you give me a hand getting him into bed?"

"Me?" Virgil questioned. "Why me?"

Gordon looked at him in confusion. "Why not you?"

Virgil shook his head. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I have a sneaky suspicion that you're up to something, and I don't want to get drawn into it."

Gordon gave Virgil his patented "puppy-dog" look. "Virg, I'm hurt. What kind of trouble could I get into by just putting him in bed?"

"With you? There's no telling." Virgil replied.

"Fine," Gordon said. "If you're too scared of me or whatever you think I'm planning, I'll just get Scott to help me. You will won't you, Scott

Virgil and Scott exchanged glances. Scott held up his hands in mock surrender. Virgil sighed. "All right, I'll help, but I just know that I'm going to be sorry."

"Whatever," Gordon said as he reached for one of John's arms. "I'll take this side, you that the other."

Gordon and Virgil maneuvered John into the hallway. John had semi-woke up and stumbled along with his brothers. He tried talking, but his words were so slurred that they didn't make much sense. He drifted back off to sleep while his brothers dragged him down the hall.

Gordon began to sign off-key. _"What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? Earl-eye in the morning." (5)_

Virgil shook his head. "Now what are you singing?"

Gordon just grinned and continued singing. _"Way-hay, up she rises. Way-hay, up she rises. Way-hay, up she rises. Earl-eye in the morning. Put him in the long boat 'til he's sober. Put him in the long boat 'til he's sober. Put him in the long boat 'til he's sober. Earl-eye in the morning. Way-hay, up she rises. Way-hay, up she..."(5)_

Virgil smirked. "You're going to wake up John and whatever you have planned then will be ruined."

Gordon shook his head. "Nah, he's too out of it." He launched into another verse. _"Put him in bed with the cap'n daughter. Put him in bed with the cap'n daughter. Put him in bed with the cap'n daughter. Earl-eye in the morning."(5)_

Finally they reached John's room and laid him on his bed. He promptly rolled over and fell back into a deep sleep.

Virgil straightened up. "What ever you do, Gordon, don't give up your day job."

Gordon stuck his tongue out at his older brother, but then began. "Okay, Virg, you start undressing him, and I'll be right back."

"Undressing him?" Virgil began to argue. "Why? We can just let him sleep in his clothes. It doesn't really look like he would mind."

"I have a surprise." Gordon began.

Virgil cut him off. "I knew it. I knew you had something up your sleeve. Well just forget it. I'm not helping in whatever prank you have dreamt up."

"Oh yes, you will." Gordon countered. "Or Scott will find out who really snitched his clothes when he went on that singles cruise two years ago."

Virgil's mind instantly went back to the incident that Gordon mentioned. Scott and three of his friends from the air force had decided to go on a single's cruise. They figured that they could spend the week catching up on old times while at the same time enjoying some female companionship. Virgil could only imagine Scott's face when he opened his suitcases to see that all his clothes were replaced by women's clothes, even down to a pink stripped string bikini. To top it off, **somebody** had reported all of Scott's credit cards stolen. So he wasn't even able to replace his clothes at the ship's stores. The situation was finally dealt with by Jeff calling the cruise company and wiring money into an account for Scott to use on board the ship. Unfortunately, Scott spent the rest of the week being teased by his buddies. Of course, when he got home, the first person he blamed was Gordon. Much to Virgil's surprise, Gordon took the full blame for it which Virgil knew wasn't true since he was the prank puller in that case.

"Why should I care about that?" Virgil tried to bluff. "Scott knows it was you. After all, you admitted to it. What makes you think that he would believe anything different?"

"Because I have pictures of the true culprit." Gordon said smugly.

Virgil hung his head. "I should've known that it would come back to haunt me. Okay, what is it you want me to do?"

"I told you. Start getting him undressed. I'll be right back." Gordon answered.

"Do I dare ask how far undressed you want him?" Virgil asked a little leery.

Gordon put his hands on his hips. "Oh come on. I do have a little class. Just remove his shoes, pants and shirt. Everything else can stay on." Gordon darted out of the room before Virgil could argue more.

"Everything else can stay on." Virgil muttered sarcastically to himself as he began to remove John's clothes. The shoes came off fairly easy. The pants, however, were another matter. He undid the belt and fly, but he was having trouble removing them. He was shifting John one way and then to the other to work the pants over John's hips when he heard the door open. "Now I know why you assigned me this 'job'. Have you ever tried to remove the clothes from someone who is nothing but dead weight?"

"No, I can't really say that I have." A female voice responded.

Virgil whirled around to see Tin-Tin standing just inside the door. "Tin-Tin! This isn't what it looks like. I swear."

"So, you aren't in the process of stripping your brother?" Tin-Tin asked.

Virgil's face turned beet red. "Well…it's like this…you see…I mean…John had a bit too much to drink. We…Gordon and I…well Gordon stepped out for just a moment…Gordon and I were just trying to make him more comfortable."

Tin-Tin laughed. "Relax, Virgil. Gordon asked me to help you guys with the prank."

Virgil let out a deep breath. "Asked? Or is he blackmailing you too?"

"Blackmail?" Tin-Tin asked in confusion. "I was more than willing to help when Gordon explained it to me. It sounds like fun."

"Well, I guess I wouldn't know." Virgil replied. "Since Gordon hasn't explained it to me yet."

Tin-Tin moved to help Virgil with John's clothes. "It's simple. Gordon's going to dress him in a pirate costume."

Just then Gordon returned. "Good, Tin-Tin, you're here." He handed her a package. "This is the make-up kit that came with the costume. I don't know if you can use any of it or not."

Tin-Tin looked over the make-up. "I think most of this is okay, but I'm going to get some different mascara. Most of the stuff that comes in these packs is nothing but lumpy glue."

Gordon nodded. "I defer to your judgment. We'll dress him while you're getting it."

Tin-Tin left the room, and Gordon turned back to Virgil who was just pulling John's pants off his ankles. "Geez, Virg, what's taking so long?"

Virgil gave his brother a disgusted look. "Shut up and help me. It's like wrestling with a dead body."

Gordon laughed. "Okay, lean him forward and we'll get him out of his shirt."

With the two of them working together, they got John out of his shirt fairly quickly. Although Virgil did laugh when John unexpectedly moved his arm and caught Gordon under his chin. Gordon rolled his eyes as he rubbed his chin.

"Ha ha, Virg," Gordon said trying to sound disgusted but failed at it. "While we have him up lets get the other shirt on him. Can you grab the box?"

Virgil picked up the box and read it. "'Pirates of the Caribbean – Captain Jack Sparrow' what the heck is this?"

"It's a costume Virg." Gordon replied to which Virgil just rolled his eyes.

Gordon laughed out loud. "Okay, okay, Captain Jack Sparrow was the lead character in a series of the 'Pirates of the Caribbean" movies that Disney did in the early 2000's. It looked better than the Long John Silver costume that they had."

Virgil pulled out the shirt and they began to re-dress John. "Be careful of his patch." Virgil ordered. "Speaking of…you do realize that according to this picture, Captain Jack Sparrow didn't wear a patch."

Gordon shrugged. "Chalk it up to poetic license." He replied as they wrestled John into the shirt and a jacket.

Tin-Tin returned just as they were starting on the pants. "We're almost ready for you. If you want you can try putting the wig and head scarf on him. There's also the beard and mustache if you think that you can put them on while we are jostling him around."

Virgil shook his head. "You know we are all going to be killed for this."

"Why?" Gordon replied. "He won't have any proof of who did it."

"He'll come to the most logical culprit first." Virgil argued. "Which is you. Then you'll push it off on me in retaliation for…" He paused a moment remembering that Tin-Tin was listening. "Well, for you know."

"I would never do that." Gordon said indignantly. Well, as indignantly as he could while buckling his brother's pants. "Here put this earring on him and I'll put the boots on. Besides I put too much into this prank to allow anyone else to take credit for it."

Tin-Tin began to apply the make-up while Virgil fumbled with the clip on the earring. He thought he had it clipped on, but then Tin-Tin lifted one of John's eyelids in order to apply the mascara. John instinctively turned his head and the earring fell off. Virgil tried twice more to attach the earring only to have it fall off as soon as John shifted his head in the slightest.

"I can't get this thing to stay on." Virgil told Gordon.

Gordon looked up from the second boot that he was putting on. He thought for a moment. "Finish putting the boots on, I'll be right back." He ordered as he ran out the door.

Virgil shook his head as he finished putting the boot on. "You really were a willing participant in this? Why?"

Tin-Tin continued to put make-up on John. "Because it sounded like fun which has been in short supply around here these past weeks. Plus, this is one prank that has no way to 'go wrong' and get someone hurt."

"Except maybe Gordon when John gets his hands on him." Virgil remarked dryly. "I'm done here. Do you need any help?"

Tin-Tin looked back at Virgil. "Don't you want to make a break for it while Gordon's gone?"

Virgil shrugged. "In for a penny, in for a pound. Besides, I'd be afraid of how he would exact his revenge on me."

Tin-Tin laughed. "Well, I'm done here. What do you think? Does he look like a pirate?"

Gordon entered the room at the moment. "How are things going in here?" He asked.

"Well, both Tin-Tin and I think that he looks like a pirate." Virgil responded. "What do you think?"

Gordon looked John over. "He looks good. This final piece and he'll be ready for pictures." He opened a small tube and applied a drop to both sides of the clasp and then pressed it to John's ear.

"Are you gluing that earring to his ear?" Virgil asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Gordon responded. "But don't worry. It's surgical glue. It will eventually wear off."

Virgil shook his head. "I won't worry as long as you keep your promise to keep my name out of it."

"I will." Gordon assured his brother. "I can't wait to see John's face when he wakes up in the morning."

"How can you be certain that you will see it?" Virgil asked. "He may just slip out of all of this before he comes down for breakfast."

"I thought about that." Gordon replied. "So I'm going to hide a motion activated camera at both his mirrors, so I can catch it on film. Then just to be safe," He pulled another camera from his pocket. "I'm going to take some pictures right now. Hey, how about I get a picture of you and Tin-Tin with John."

Virgil shook his head. "And give you more ammunition against me? How stupid do you think that I am?"

Gordon just grinned saucily. "It was worth a shot."

"Well, I'm out of here before you sneak pictures of me anyways." Virgil said.

Gordon began taking pictures of John. "Too late." He told Virgil.

Virgil was almost to the door when he heard Gordon's statement. He turned and growled at his brother. "Gordon, you didn't."

Gordon just grinned at Virgil. "I guess you'll never know."

"Sure I will," Virgil replied. "The next time that you want to blackmail me."

Gordon just laughed as Virgil left the room.

* * *

The next morning Penny found Jeff at his desk. "Good morning, Jeff. How are you this beautiful morning?" 

"I'm doing good." Jeff replied.

"Would you care to join me for a stroll before breakfast?" Penny asked.

Jeff sighed as he looked at the paperwork spread across his desk. "That is a tempting offer. I really should decline. I have a ton of Tracy Industries work to get caught up on."

"You are behind in your work?" Penny questioned. "That is not like you."

Jeff sighed. "I know, but with John's injuries, the emotional upset of everybody, and being short handed with International Rescue, I've only done what I had to. So now I'm playing catch-up."

"I am sorry to hear that darling." Penny said. "I will leave you to your work."

Jeff stood up. "No, I think that a walk sounds lovely. This work has waited this long. It can wait a bit longer."

Just then the eyes on Alan's portrait began to flash. Jeff keyed the comm. "Good morning, Alan."

"Yes, good morning, Alan." Penny said over Jeff's shoulder.

Alan looked at Penny in surprise. "Lady Penelope, it's good to see you although I wasn't expecting you."

Penny simply nodded. "I came over for John's welcome home party."

"Party?" Alan first replied in confusion, but then his tone hardened. "Party…well I hope you had fun."

"I did find it enjoyable." Penny replied. "It was unfortunate that you were unable to join us."

Alan shook his head. "Well, someone had to man Thunderbird Five."

Jeff could tell by Alan's voice that he was upset. "Alan, did you even know about the party?"

"It doesn't matter." Alan replied. "I'm sure that my brothers figured that my presence would put a damper on the party since I was responsible for John's injuries in the first place."

"Alan…" Jeff began but stopped when he heard yelling.

John's voice wafted into the lounge. "Gordon, you get back here. I'm gonna kill you."

Gordon appeared at the lounge door. Spotting the room's two occupants, he said. "Hi Dad, hi Penny." He quickly crossed the room. "Bye Dad, bye Penny." He then disappeared out the patio door.

Penny and Jeff exchanged puzzled looks. At that moment, John entered the room at a run. At least they thought it was John. They knew immediately by John's attire what Gordon had been up to.

John was decked out in a black wig with a couple of small braids around the face area which were adorned with beads of various sizes and colors. He also was wearing a mustache and beard the same color as the wig, and the beard had two small braids adorned with beads. Around his head was wrapped a red scarf, and his eye was embellished with dark eye make-up. He wore a white shirt and a black jacket that had billowy sleeves and that also matched his pants that were tucked into his knee high boots. Around his waist was tied a white sash whose ends hung down past his knees and trailed behind him as he ran.

"Where is he? Where'd he go?" John demanded.

Penny tried to hide her smirk behind her hand, but Jeff just grinned broadly and pointed to the patio door.

John yanked the door open and darted out it yelling. "Come back here you little brat. You're going to pay for this."

"What's going on?" Alan asked over the comm.

Jeff laughed out loud. "Well, either Gordon has been up to his tricks again, or Tracy Island has been over run by pirates."

"I would place my money on the first option." Penny said lightly.

Alan nodded. "I'm glad that some things are getting back to normal."

Jeff could hear a hint of despair in Alan's voice. "Alan, things will get back to normal. It will just take time, that's all. How about I send Brains up to relieve you? We need to do a supply run anyways, and it will give you some time to spend with your brothers."

Alan shook his head. "No, that's okay. I'm fine being up here. Thanks anyways."

"Why did you call in the first place?" Jeff asked.

"Oh yeah, I wanted to let you know that there is a good size wild fire in Florida. The fire department is just barely keeping it in check. We may be called in soon."

"Thank you, Alan." Jeff said. "We'll be ready, just keep me informed."

"F-A-B" Alan replied and then disconnected the comm.

Penny looked at Jeff with concern. "Jeff, is there a problem with Alan?"

Jeff sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Let's take that walk, and I'll tell you about it."

Author's Note – Okay folks, we have a lot of people to credit in this chapter. First, we included lyrics of different songs, so we'll deal with them first. The number in parentheses at the end of the italics will identify the songs.

* * *

#1 – **Yo ho (A Pirate's Life for Me) - **It is a song from the movie "Pirates of the Caribbean". The lyrics were done by Xavier Atencio and the music was by George Bruns. 

#2 – **The Pirate King – **It is a song from the Gilbert and Sullivan's musical "The Pirates of Penzance". The lyrics were by William S. Gilbert and the music was by Arthur Sullivan.

#3 – **Shiver Me Timbers** – This is a song from the movie "Muppets Treasure Island". The lyrics were by Cynthia Weil and the music was by Barry Mann

#4 – **The Pirate Song** – This was a song and music video that was sung by Ray Stevens, however the song was written by C.W. Kalb, Jr. and Charlene Kalb.

#5 – **Drunken Sailor** – This song was originally a "shanty" which was a work song on a pirate ship. It has been sung by many different groups. In our realm of knowledge, the most notable group is the Irish Rovers, but you may have heard it performed by other groups.

Lastly, we would like to personally thank Lillehafrue for all the help that she has given us for this chapter. We bounced a lot of ideas off her, and she was very helpful when she came up with the idea of the blackmail material that Gordon used against Virgil.

We hope that you enjoyed this chapter. After all the angst that we have put you through, we thought we would give you a bit of a laugh. We hope that we accomplished that.

We want to thank everyone who reviewed our last chapter. It is your encouragement that keeps us going. The next chapter should be up next weekend. Thanks again.


	19. Back to Normal?

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 19 – Back to Normal?

Jeff and Penny joined the rest of the family in the kitchen. John was looking a bit green as he sat at the table clutching his coffee. The plate of toast sat untouched in front of him. He was glaring at Gordon who was sitting across the table between Virgil and Tin-Tin, trying to look innocent. Jeff held the chair for Penny and then sat down himself. It was then that Jeff realized that John was still wearing the hoop earring.

"John? Did you forget something?" Jeff asked.

"No," John snarled. "I didn't **forget**. But my wardrobe designer glued it to my ear. I can't get it off."

"I h-h-have some solvent that sh-sh-should remove it." Brains said.

"Thanks Brains." John replied. "I appreciate it, but what I really need is something for this monster hangover that I seemed to have been given."

"Given?" Jeff questioned.

"Well, I distinctly remember telling someone that the glass he handed me was to be my last." John explained. "I had hoped to avoid this. Obviously, I was ignored."

Gordon shrugged. "Is it our fault that you weren't paying attention?"

John glared at his younger brother. "You just wait. Yours is coming."

Gordon just grinned. "Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots."

"That's enough boys," Jeff said shaking his head. "Brains, do you have anything to help John out?"

Brains nodded. "I b-b-believe that I do. I c-c-can get it when I g-g-get the solvent."

"Thanks, Brains," John replied. "At least someone cares."

Gordon shook his head. "What a wuss."

"After breakfast, we need to prep Thunderbird Three for a supply run." Jeff broke in to stave off the impending argument. "But there is a wildfire that we may be called to. So you boys will need to stay home. Brains, can you do the run for me?"

Brains nodded. "If th-th-that is what you n-n-need me to do."

"I can go with him." John volunteered.

Jeff shook his head. "No, I don't want you going anywhere until you are back to one hundred percent."

John rolled his eyes. "Oh come on Dad…"

Jeff shook his head in an effort to hide the smirk that the sight of only seeing one eye rolling elicited. "I'm sorry. The answer is no, and it will remain no. So there is no use arguing, whining, or cajoling with me."

John sighed loudly and went back to eating his breakfast.

Jeff turned to Tin-Tin. "How would you like to go Tin-Tin?"

"Me?" Tin-Tin asked in confusion.

Jeff smiled. "Yes, you. You can get in some practice on Thunderbird Three, and you can spend some time refreshing yourself with Thunderbird Five. I don't think that Alan would mind going over the high points. Take all the time you want."

Tin-Tin returned Jeff's smile. "Thank you, Mr. Tracy. I would appreciate the time to 'learn'."

Jeff nodded. "I thought you would. Give Alan my best."

Gordon gave Tin-Tin a wink. "Oh, I'm sure that she'll give Alan the 'best'. It just won't be yours."

Tin-Tin blushed furiously, but Jeff came to her rescue. "All right, let's not get into this. We need to finish up here quickly, so we can get Thunderbird Three loaded just in case we get called out."

Tin-Tin stood up from the table. "I think that I would like to change before we leave."

Jeff nodded." Go ahead Tin-Tin. We'll call you when we're ready to go."

* * *

Two hours later, Thunderbird Three was on her way to Thunderbird Five. Scott and Jeff were busy in the lounge with Tracy Industries Business while Virgil occupied his time at the piano. 

Jeff sighed and tossed the file that he had been reading back on the desk. "I don't see any way around it. That new Research and Development employee is just not working out. I'm going to have to replace him. I just hate to fire people, especially ones with families."

Scott shook his head. "Well, we could just demote him. We could put him in a training program, so that the next time that an opening comes up, he will be ready."

Jeff thought for a moment. "That is a possibility."

Scott nodded and continued. "My only concern is a matter of trust. After all, he did exaggerate his abilities on his application."

"Which we would have caught if we hadn't been preoccupied with family matters." Jeff replied.

"So, what do you want to do?" Scott asked.

Jeff sighed. "I think that I'll have a meeting with Mr. Richards and offer him an apprentice program under the condition that he knows that he will be watched constantly and that any other deception will be grounds for immediate dismissal."

Scott nodded. "Sounds like a fair resolution to the problem."

John wandered into the lounge with Polly on his shoulder. "Hey guys, how are things going?"

"Fine," Jeff replied. "I'm getting caught up on some work while enjoying your brother's piano playing."

Polly pulled at John's hair. "Hey, no hair pulling." John said as he handed Polly a piece of broccoli. "Any news on the wildfire?"

Scott nodded. "It doesn't look like we'll be needed after all. The winds have shifted and the fire department has it well under control now."

John smiled. "That's good." Leaning against the piano, he asked. "How about taking a walk with me, Virg?"

"Get off my piano." Virgil demanded, eyeing the bird apprehensively. "Why did you bring that thing out here? I thought you didn't like her."

"She's not so bad now that I'm getting to know her." John replied. "Just don't tell Gordon. So what do you have against Polly? Don't tell me that you're afraid of birds."

"No!" Virgil snapped. "I just don't like them."

"Oh come on. Try making nice to Polly." John begged. "She really is a well behaved bird."

Gordon had finished his daily laps and had entered the lounge at that moment. He leaned against the wall to observe the interaction.

Virgil laughed. "Uh-huh, and pulling your hair is being well behaved?"

John shrugged. "She just wanted a treat. Come on, please. Make nice with Polly."

Virgil sighed. "All right, what do I do?"

John reached up and maneuvered Polly on to his hand. He cooed to her. "It's okay, girl. You're going to be nice to Uncle Virgil, aren't you?" Turning to his brother, he said. "Okay, Virgil, hold out your arm." He then moved Polly on to Virgil's arm.

Polly walked up and down Virgil's forearm and let out a squawk.

"Do you want to feed her a treat?" John asked, holding out another piece of broccoli.

"I thought they liked crackers." Virgil replied.

"I did some research on that after breakfast." John explained. "Even though they will eat crackers, they do prefer fresh vegetables which are better for them anyhow."

Virgil took the piece of broccoli. "Are you sure that she won't bite me?"

John rolled his eyes. "She hasn't bit anyone yet."

"But knowing my luck…" Virgil mumbled as he hesitantly held out the broccoli to the bird.

Polly squawked and took the broccoli in one of her claws. She calmly nibbled on it.

Virgil grinned. "Hey, she took it from me."

John laughed. "See, she's not so bad."

"I guess…" Virgil began, but then his face dissolved into horror. "Oh God, she's pooping on me! Get her off! Get her off!" He started to yell, and he shook his arm a little which only made Polly hang on tighter and flap her wings at Virgil.

"Virgil, calm down." John ordered, trying to get Polly on to his hand. "You're scaring her."

"I don't care." Virgil snapped. "Just get her off. God, this is so gross."

John tried to reason with his brother. "She's only going to hold on tighter while she's scared. You need to calm down so that she'll calm down."

Virgil stopped moving but glared at John. "Just get her off my arm." He demanded through gritted teeth.

John quietly talked to the bird. "It's okay, Polly, just calm down." Polly squawked at John and flapped her wings once. John continued speaking quietly. "That's it sweetheart. Calm down." He moved his hand near Polly's feet. "Come on, Polly. Come to daddy." Polly climbed on to John's hand. John handed Polly another piece of broccoli. "That's it sweetheart. It's okay. Calm down." He crooned as he ran a finger down the breast feathers.

"Yeah right, everything's okay." Virgil growled as he used a handful of tissues to wipe up what bird poop he could. "You weren't the one who got pooped on."

John rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Virgil. She couldn't help it. It's a natural biological function of birds. They poop when food reaches the end of the digestive track. They have no way to 'hold' it in."

"You could always make her a little diaper to wear while you're holding her." Gordon laughed.

Virgil looked over at the door in surprise. He hadn't realized that Gordon had come in. "Oh, shut up, Gordon." Virgil said disgustedly. "I'm going to go get cleaned up." He stalked out of the room without another word.

Once Virgil was gone, the rest of the family broke out in fits of laughter. "That was priceless…just priceless." Gordon said between laughs.

"Yeah, it was." John snickered. "But I don't think that I will ever get Virgil to hold Polly again."

"I would say that is a safe bet." Gordon replied. "But the look on Virgil's face was worth it though."

"You're right." John answered as they broke into laughter again.

* * *

Jeff was alone in the lounge when Brains called in for landing clearance. He was a bit surprised. Double checking the clock, he confirmed that they had only been gone a little over four hours. He had expected them to be gone much longer. The lounge sofa disappeared, and a few minutes later it was replaced with its twin that had Tin-Tin and Brains on it. Before Jeff had a chance to say anything, Tin-Tin stormed out of the room. 

Jeff raised an eyebrow and asked Brains. "Do I dare ask what happened up there?"

Brains shook his head. "I c-c-couldn't tell you. After we un-un-unloaded the supplies, I w-w-went to the s-s-secondary control c-c-center to give Alan and T-T-Tin-Tin some time alone. It was only about t-t-twenty minutes later she c-c-came and told me that she was r-r-ready to leave. I s-s-sensed that she w-w-was upset, but she r-r-refused to tell me w-wh-what had h-h-happened."

"Damn," Jeff said. "I was hoping that this visit would…"

When Jeff paused, Brains asked. "W-w-would what, Mr. Tracy?"

Jeff shook his head. "I don't know what to do about Alan. I know that he's been feeling guilty about John's accident, but he won't talk to me about it. From what the boys have said, he hasn't talked to them either, not even Gordon. It's like he's built this wall around himself, and he won't let anyone in. I was hoping that maybe he would open up to Tin-Tin."

"M-m-maybe he did." Brains replied. "M-m-maybe that is why T-T-Tin-Tin is upset. They c-c-could have had an a-ar-argument."

"Well, if they did, then I've only made the situation worse." Jeff replied. "That's it. I'm bringing Alan home."

"Are you s-s-sure that's wise?" Brains asked. "You d-d-don't want Alan to th-th-think that you don't t-t-trust him."

Jeff sighed. "You're right. I want to make him feel better, not worse. Damn it, Brains, I feel like no decision is the correct one."

"You sh-sh-should talk to T-T-Tin-Tin." Brains suggested. "If you know wh-wh-what happened on F-F-Five, it may g-g-give you a b-b-better idea of what to d-d-do."

"But I don't want Alan to think that I'm going behind his back." Jeff argued.

"That is a p-p-possibility." Brains conceded. "Your o-o-other option is to t-t-talk to Alan d-d-directly."

Jeff ran a hand through his hair. "But I don't want him to think that I'm automatically taking sides with Tin-Tin."

Brains nodded. "I s-s-see your dilemma. Un-un-unfortunately, you are the only o-o-one who can decide wh-wh-what to do."

Jeff returned the nod. "I'll have to think about it. I want to help Alan. I just don't know what to do. It was so much easier when he was younger. He would just blurt out whatever was bothering him, but now that's he's grown, he bottles everything up."

"That's the h-h-hardest part of being a p-p-parent." Brains replied. "As kids g-gr-grow, they become l-l-less dependant on their p-p-parents. Yet, you s-s-still worry about them just as m-m-much."

"For a single guy, you sure have parenting down." Jeff laughed.

Brains blushed. "J-j-just an observation. I'm n-n-not sure that I c-c-could do it."

Jeff patted Brains on the shoulder. "Every parent feels that way going in, but if you do your best…show them love, teach them morals, and instill a respect of themselves and others, they usually turn out for the better."

"S-s-so why are you so w-w-worried." Brains said. "Isn't th-th-that how you raised your s-s-sons?"

Jeff thought for a moment and then smiled. "You're right, Brains. Thanks for letting me rant. You're as good at this as Kyrano."

Brains blushed again. "I'm j-j-just doing what I c-c-can. Well, I b-b-better get back to m-m-my lab."

Brains left the lounge, and Jeff decided to take a walk to clear his head. He headed to the north side of the Island. Subconsciously, he headed up to the bluff which was one of Alan's favorite places on the Island. As he approached the overlook, he thought he could hear the sound of crying. He hurried his approach. Once he rounded a small grove of trees, he saw Tin-Tin sitting in the middle of the clearing. Her body was facing towards the ocean, but her head rested on her crossed arms that were propped up by her bent legs.

Jeff didn't want to startle her, but he knew that any way of alerting her to his presence would do just that. Trying to be as unobtrusive as possible, he quietly said. "Tin-Tin?"

Tin-Tin whipped her head back and saw Jeff. She quickly brushed away at her tears. "Mr. Tracy, I didn't hear you."

"I know. I'm sorry if I startled you." Jeff approached and sat down next to Tin-Tin. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Tin-Tin shook her head. "Not really."

Jeff sighed. "But this does concern Alan and whatever happened up on Five?"

Tin-Tin simply nodded.

Jeff looked out over the ocean. "I normally wouldn't pry into my son's personal life or yours for that matter, but right now I'm really concerned about Alan. It seems like he is cutting himself off from the family. I was hoping that he would open up to you, but he didn't, did he?"

Tin-Tin shook her head as she wiped away the new tears that had formed.

"Can you please tell me what happened?" Jeff quietly asked.

Tin-Tin took a deep breath. "I don't know if I should. It is personal."

Jeff placed a hand on Tin-Tin's knee. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it was important."

Tin-Tin saw the concern in Jeff's face and nodded. She turned to look out over the ocean and quietly began to explain. "Well, when we first got there, Alan seemed surprised to see me. I had just assumed that you had told him that I was coming up."

Jeff shook his head. "I'm sorry. I wanted to surprise him."

Tin-Tin nodded. "Well, it did surprise him. We unloaded the supplies, and then Brains left us alone almost immediately after that. He made an excuse about wanting to run some checks on the new safety protocol. I went to hug Alan, and he pulled away from me. He asked why I was there. Laughingly, I told him what you said about getting a refresher course on Thunderbird Five, and that's what he did. He began to give me an overview of Five's control console. It took me a few minutes to realize that he was serious. He **was** giving me a refresher course. I couldn't believe it. I thought he had to be joking, but he wasn't. I took his hand in mine and told him that you only used the refresher course as an excuse to get me up there. I told him that I could tell by how you said it that you were just giving us some time to spend alone together."

Tin-Tin stopped talking as she pushed her hair back away from her face.

Jeff waited for a moment. "And then what happened?" He asked.

Tin-Tin gave a short bark of laughter. "He didn't believe me. He told me that an order was an order, and he intended to obey all orders." She took another deep breath and tried to calm her emotions, but Jeff could hear the sadness building in her voice. "I tried to laugh it off. I told him that I had already waited six weeks to be with him and that I could wait another couple of weeks if I had to. That's when he told me that…he said…" Her voice choked off with emotion as her tears fell again in earnest.

Jeff placed an arm around Tin-Tin's shoulders and pulled her close to him. He held her quietly as she sobbed out her grief. After a few minutes, she calmed down some.

"I'm sorry," Tin-Tin said pulling away from Jeff. "I came out here to avoid anyone seeing me like this."

Jeff placed his hand gently under Tin-Tin's chin and guided her face around so he could look into her red-rimmed eyes. "I can see how hard this is on you, and I'm sorry that I'm going to ask you this, but I really need to know what he said that has hurt you so much."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "I told you. It's personal. I shouldn't have told you as much as I did."

Jeff quietly pleaded with Tin-Tin. "I think that you told me because you are just as worried about Alan as I am. Please, Tin-Tin, tell me what else he said."

"He said that he felt that we should end our relationship." Tin-Tin replied quietly.

Jeff was shocked. "Did he say why?"

Tin-Tin nodded. "He said that he didn't think that it was 'healthy' for either of us."

"What does he mean by that?" Jeff questioned.

Tin-Tin shook her head. "I'm not sure. I thought about pressing him, but I figured that he would just close himself off like he has in these past weeks."

Jeff nodded. "I'm sure that's true. Maybe once he is home, he'll change his mind."

Tin-Tin shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "I don't think so. I told him that we could talk more about it once he gets home. He said that he wasn't going to be home for long."

"What?" Jeff demanded.

Tears slipped down Tin-Tin's face. "Even though he didn't say it out right, I have the impression that once John is returned to active duty that he plans on resigning and leaving the Island…his home…me."

"That's it. I'm bringing him home today." Jeff said as he started to rise from the ground.

Tin-Tin grabbed Jeff's arm. "Please don't, Mr. Tracy."

"Why not? I need to bring him home and get that fool idea out of his head." Jeff argued.

"But don't you see?" Tin-Tin argued back. "If you bring him home today, he'll follow through with his idea to resign. But if you leave him there until John is returned to active duty, we'll have what? Two weeks to try to talk him out of it."

"Three weeks," Jeff replied. "Dr. Winter wanted him back for the follow-up in two weeks, but she had a conference scheduled for that week, so he had to make it for the following week." Staring Tin-Tin full in the face, he questioned. "Do you really think that we can talk Alan out of resigning?"

"It's going to be difficult." Tin-Tin answered. "It's not like we can just tell him that he can't resign. That will only make him more determined to leave. We will need to somehow convince him that we do love and miss him. He also needs to know that he isn't being blamed for John's accident. I really think that is the main reason that he is planning on leaving."

"That's also the hardest." Jeff said. "I've been trying to convince him for the last month that we don't blame him, but he just doesn't seem to believe me."

Tin-Tin nodded. "Those first few days, after the accident, were very hard on him. You weren't here to see it, but Alan and his brothers were having a hard time dealing with it. Scott especially made it perfectly clear that he felt that Alan was irresponsible in his duties and that was the direct cause of the accident."

Jeff sat back down next to Tin-Tin. "That explains why he is so adamant about making sure that he is doing his job correctly. Scott did eventually apologize…"

"But after the weeks of putting up with Scott's accusations, he can't just forgive and forget." Tin-Tin interrupted.

Jeff nodded. "Of course not, it goes against human nature. That's what I was about to say. Scott did eventually apologize, but with hurts that run as deep as Alan's, it really didn't mean much. I just don't know how to get through to him. Talk is just so inadequate to ease his pain."

"Right now, it's all we have." Tin-Tin remarked. "We have to draw him out. We have to call him and really talk to him. We can't let him use the job to cut us off. It would probably help if we could get his brothers to talk to him, especially John and Scott."

"Okay, I'll talk to them." Jeff replied.

Tin-Tin nodded. "Don't tell them about Alan wanting to resign. I don't want to risk them letting something slip. Especially, since he didn't specifically say anything. Like I said, it's just an impression that I have."

"Okay," Jeff said. "I'll just tell them that it is time to pull Alan back into the fold. Which is the truth. Actually, it is way past the time to help Alan over his feelings of guilt."

Tin-Tin gave Jeff a wan smile. "I just hope it will work. Also, please don't tell Alan that we had this conversation. I wouldn't want him to think I came running to you about our problem."

Jeff stood up. "Don't worry, I won't. Are you ready to head back to the villa?"

Tin-Tin shook her head. "No, I'll just stay here and think a bit longer."

Jeff nodded. "Okay, I'll see you later. If you have any other concerns about Alan, feel free to come to me with them."

Tin-Tin returned the nod, and Jeff began to walk away. When he was about ten feet away, she called to him, "Mr. Tracy". He stopped and turned back towards her. "Thanks…for understanding."

Jeff smiled and nodded. "Anytime, Tin-Tin." He then continued back to the house.

* * *

Author's Note: All right, a couple of people are finally beginning to realize that Alan has a problem. The only question is: Is it too late? Only time will tell.

Again, we want to thank everyone who reviewed the past chapter. We do appreciate all the reviews that we get. Thanks again.


	20. Making Amends

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 20 – Making Amends

Jeff sighed as he disconnected the comm. link to Thunderbird Five. It had been a week since he and Tin-tin had spoken on the bluff. He was frustrated with his youngest son. Alan was a consummate professional when it came to International Rescue business, but when Jeff would try to talk about personal matters, Alan would close off. He refused to volunteer any conversation and would only respond in one word answers when asked a question. Jeff was at a loss. He was never very good at dealing with emotional problems. He felt much more at home with problems that he could sink his teeth into…get his hands dirty with. At least those kinds of problems he could tell if he was making progress on resolving it. Jeff glanced at his watch and realized that it was nearing dinner time, so he headed towards the kitchen.

Jeff found three of his sons already around the table waiting for the rest of the family. "Where's John?" Jeff asked.

Virgil rolled his eyes. "He's putting his 'pet' away so we can eat."

Gordon laughed at Virgil. "I just don't get why you are so anti-'Polly'."

"You know why." Virgil groused.

"Okay, so she's had an accident on you a couple of times. It's no big deal." Gordon teasingly argued.

Virgil's face flushed with anger. "Twice! She's pooped on me twice, and yesterday I didn't even know John was behind me with her until she climbed on to my shoulder. She's just like Dick's stupid cockatiel, and it is too a big deal. It's just plain gross."

Gordon rolled his eyes this time. "After all the junk that we've had to deal with during our rescues and you're freaked about a little bird poop?"

Virgil opened his mouth to argue, but Jeff cut him off. "That's enough boys. If we start reminiscing about all the disgusting things we've dealt with over the years, we'll end up losing our appetites."

John entered the room just in time to catch the tail end of his father's remark. "Why are we going to lose our appetites? Has Gordon been cooking again?"

Gordon gave John a wry look. "Ha ha, John. Virgil was telling us why he doesn't like Polly."

John gave Virgil a compassionate look. "I don't blame him after what she did to him yesterday. She's going to get it if she doesn't straighten up."

"What does that mean?" Gordon asked in surprise.

John fixed an angry look on Gordon. "What I mean is that she is getting out of hand. She's always pulling my hair. She's pooped on Virgil a couple of times, and just now, she bit me when I tried to put her in her cage."

Flustered, Gordon began. "She's young. She's like any other child who needs to be taught how to behave. All she needs is a little patience."

John shook his head. "Well, right now, my patience has been worn a bit thin."

"I'll tell you what." Gordon tried to placate his brother. "How about after dinner, we take a hike to the top of the Island. We can watch the moonrise, and you can take in the stars and just relax. You'll feel better about Polly in the morning."

John carefully schooled his features. "I guess we could give it a try. Maybe keeping Polly in her cage for the evening will teach her a lesson."

"Great," Gordon grinned. "Anyone else want to come?"

"Sure, I'll come." Virgil replied. "Maybe I can get some 'inspiration' for my next painting."

"Sounds like fun." Scott added. "It's been a while since we've done any thing together."

"You're right." Jeff interjected. "We should rectify that. What would you think if I brought Alan home and we take a 'family vacation'?"

Gordon laughed out loud. "Gee, Dad, we live together on a tropical island. Most people would say that we are on a 'permanent' vacation."

Jeff shook his head. "Well, those people don't know what we really do, now do they?" Gordon shook his head, but Jeff continued before he could say something. "It's been quite a while since all five of you were home at once, and as far as the 'vacation' part, we could go somewhere to do things that we can't do here."

"Like what?" Virgil asked.

Jeff thought for a moment. "We could go to New York and take in some shows; we could go to Aspen for some skiing, or maybe we could take a trek across Europe and do all the 'tourist-y' stuff that everyone else does."

"What about International Rescue?" Scott asked. "It's not like we can shut it down while we go and amuse ourselves."

Jeff nodded. "Of course not. Where ever we go, we would need to find a place to hide Thunderbird One. That way, if a call did come in, you would drop Virgil off here to get Thunderbird Two on your way to the danger zone."

"Depending on where the rescue is, that would add valuable time to the flight time." Scott argued. "Time that could mean the matter of life or death."

"I know." Jeff said soberly. "But we can't seclude ourselves out here forever because of 'what ifs'. After everything that has happened in these past couple of months, I think this family really needs some time together."

Virgil nodded. "You're right about that. We could really use some down time together, especially Alan. The poor kid has been up on Five by himself for almost two months, not even counting the shift he worked before the accident."

The conversation stopped abruptly when Gordon asked. "Do you think Alan will be willing to go?"

The Tracys all exchanged the same unconvinced look. "We'll just have to convince him to." Jeff said quietly.

* * *

Three days later, Jeff called to Thunderbird Five. "Tracy Island calling Thunderbird Five." 

Alan's face immediately appeared. "This is Thunderbird Five. Go ahead Tracy Island."

"Good morning, Alan." Jeff said. "How are you?"

Alan nodded. "Everything is fine. There are no potential calls being monitored right now, and Thunderbird Five is functioning normally."

Jeff nodded. "That is good to hear, but that is not the question that I asked. How are you, personally? You've been up there longer than normal. How are you handling the extra time alone?"

Alan was surprised at the question. He really didn't expect any of his family to be concerned about how he was handling the extended duty. Maybe he had been reading his family wrong over these past few weeks. "I'm fine." He quietly replied.

"You've been alone for quite some time, is there anything that you want to talk about?" Jeff asked.

Alan shook his head. "No, and I shouldn't stay on the comm. line long. I'm on duty and I need to pay attention to the monitors. You never know when an emergency call will come in."

"I have faith that you can do both." Jeff said with a small smile. "I have something that I'd like to talk to you about."

Alan stiffened. He immediately feared the worst. His mind began spinning trying to figure out what he had done that he was in trouble for.

Jeff saw the fear that flashed through Alan's eyes. He was saddened that his youngest child automatically assumed that he was angry with him for something. "Alan, you're not in trouble."

Jeff could see the fear leave Alan's expression, but the wariness remained. "I was thinking about taking you boys on a family vacation for a couple of weeks when you get home."

"But what about International Rescue?" Alan asked in surprise. "We just can't shut it down for two weeks."

"Don't worry; I've been working on some ideas." Jeff replied. "But what do you think? Are you up to a trip with your 'old man'?"

Alan wasn't sure how to answer. He carefully worded his response. "Have you said anything to the others about this vacation idea?"

Jeff nodded. "I mentioned it the other night at dinner. They thought it was a great idea."

"Did they realize that you included me in your plans?" Alan asked with a hint of hurt showing in his voice.

Jeff kept his voice calm and he hoped comforting. "Yes, Alan, they knew that I meant you also. Look, son, I have been made aware that while I was with John in Sydney, there were things done and said that hurt you deeply. They know that they were wrong. They just want a chance to make it up to you. I hope that you will give them a chance." Jeff paused for a second but continued before Alan could say anything. "So, how about it? Are you willing to join us on a 'Tracy family vacation'?"

Alan thought for a few moments. A part of him desperately wanted to agree. He missed his family…his brothers. But then, there was a part of him that was screaming not to agree. He was so afraid that he would be hurt again. "Can I think about it and let you know?"

Jeff felt a little let down but nodded. "Sure, but just one thing, **I** would really like you to join us."

Alan gave Jeff a wan smile. "I'll remember that. Is there anything else?"

Jeff shook his head. "No, that was it. I'll talk to you later." He then disconnected the comm. Jeff wasn't sure what to think. Alan had promised to think about the trip. He had even given Jeff a small smile. Was that a sign that the emotional wall around Alan was coming down? Jeff sighed. He didn't know. He just didn't know.

* * *

Five days later, Gordon entered the dining area to find his three brothers already around the table. "Hey, guys, what's going on?" 

"We were talking about the vacation next week." Virgil replied.

"Has dad talked to Lady Penelope yet?" Gordon asked.

Scott nodded. "Yeah, he talked to her this morning. She said that it's fine to leave the Thunderbirds at her mansion. Dad figures that we can use Foxleyheath as a base, and we can spend a couple of days visiting with Penny in between our jaunts."

"Maybe she'll even come with us for a couple of days." Virgil added.

"So what's on the agenda so far?" Gordon continued his questioning.

"We're making a list of things we want to do." Scott said. "We figured that we could spend a couple of days taking in the sights of London."

"Haven't we already done that?" Gordon laughed.

"Well, sure," Scott answered. "But it doesn't hurt to go back. Plus, this is mostly time for us to spend together. Does it really matter if it's stuff we've done before?"

"You said you were making a list?" Gordon said. "What's on it so far?"

Scott looked down at the list. "Well, Virgil wants to hit some of the architectural attractions like Westminster Abbey, the Tower of London, Big Ben, and even Buckingham Palace."

"Hey, that could be fun." Gordon grinned. "We can try to make the palace guards smile. Isn't that one of the things you're supposed to do when you're at the palace?"

Virgil rolled his eyes. "If anyone can do it, it would be you."

"So now we know what Virgil wants, what about the rest of you?" Gordon asked.

"Well, I want to go to the Greenwich Observatory and then maybe take a day trip over to Stonehenge." John replied. "Is there anything that you want to add?"

"Stonehenge sounds cool." Gordon answered. "But I would also like to add Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum and maybe the London Eye. Where do you want to go, Scott?"

"Anywhere is fine with me." Scott replied. "Just being with my family is enough for me."

"Are we going to stay just in England?" Gordon continued.

Scott shook his head. "No, we were thinking of taking about a week to do a road trip around the Island. I've been mapping out a route through the mountains of Wales. There are a set of caves on south Wales called Dan-yr-Ogof that sounds like it would be fun to check out. I also read about a hotel that supposedly has a fantastic view of Lake Vyrnwy. I thought maybe we could spend the night there one night. Then we can drive through the Snowdon and Glyders Mountains before heading north towards Scotland. We can just take our time as we drive through the northern counties in England. I'm sure that we can find plenty of interesting things to stop and see. Then once we get into Scotland, there are the highlands and lochs to explore."

"Yes, Nessie, here we come." Gordon grinned to which his brothers laughed.

"Yes, Gordon," Virgil laughed. "If you want, we can rent a boat at Loch Ness and see if we can break the story of a lifetime."

Jeff entered just then. "What's so funny?" He asked.

"Oh, we're just talking about vacation plans." John answered. "Gordon is planning on finding the Loch Ness monster."

"You know, I could find out conclusively." Gordon replied indignantly. "All I would have to do is take Thunderbird Four down there. Nothing in that lake could hide from her sensors."

"But that's not what the Thunderbirds were created for, now is it?" Jeff laughed.

"No," Gordon sighed. "But it sure would be fun to find out for sure once and for all."

"And ruin the mystery?" Virgil teased his brother. "Where is the fun in that?"

Gordon shook his head. "Yeah, you're right. Some mysteries just aren't meant to be solved."

"Speaking of mysteries…" John sobered. "Has Alan given an answer yet about whether he is coming on this vacation?"

Jeff smiled. "I talked to him earlier this afternoon. He agreed to come along."

The three brothers smiled. "That's good to hear." Gordon said.

Jeff nodded. "Yes, and now we have to make the most of it."

Scott nodded. "After dinner, I'm going to give him a call and give him the temporary itinerary and see if he wants to add anything."

"That's a good idea." John remarked. "And if we have to cut anything from the itinerary, I'd rather we cut my ideas."

"Mine too," Virgil added.

"We can always add time to the trip." Jeff said. "Two weeks was just a starting point. We can extend it as long as we want…or need."

The family fell silent for a moment, and the Jeff continued. "Okay, let's clear this stuff away so that Kyrano can serve dinner."

"Yeah," Gordon interjected. "I'm starved."

"What about Grandma and Tin-Tin?" Virgil asked. "Are they back from their shopping trip yet?"

Jeff shook his head. "Not yet, your grandmother called a little bit ago. She said that they had a bit more shopping that they wanted to do, so they are just going to get dinner in town."

"Okay," Scott said, standing up grabbing the papers that he had stacked together. "I'll take these to the other room and be right back."

John also stood up. "And I'll help Kyrano with the table."

"I'll help too." Virgil added, and Gordon joined in with his brothers without saying a word.

In a matter of minutes, the dining room table was set with napkins and eating utensils, water glasses and coffee mugs. Kyrano served the first course which was a Caesar salad. Once they were finished with that, John stacked the plates and took them back into the kitchen and to alert Kyrano that they were ready for the main course.

Kyrano brought out four plates of a creamed poultry with peas, carrots and celery over a bed of pasta topped with parmesan cheese. He placed those plates in front of Jeff, Scott, Virgil and Gordon. In front of John, he placed a plate of vegetable stir-fry. Everyone began to eat.

Gordon looked over at John. Around a mouthful of food, he asked. "What are you eating, John?"

John shrugged. "Just a vegetable stir-fry."

"Well, you sure don't know what you're missing." Gordon said as he took another mouthful of food. Kyrano re-entered the dining room with a fresh pitcher of water. "What is this?" He addressed Kyrano.

Kyrano bowed his head slightly. "It is a version of tetrazzini."

Gordon nodded. "Well, it has an unusual flavor, but it sure is good. Just like everything you make."

Kyrano leaned between Gordon and Virgil to place a fresh water pitcher on the table. Virgil noticed something stuck on Kyrano's robe. "What's this?" Virgil asked as he plucked a small fluffy yellow feather off the robe. "It looks like a feather."

Kyrano bowed slightly as he backed away from the table. "My apologizes, I must have picked it up while I was preparing the meal."

Gordon took the feather from Virgil. "A feather? Don't tell me that you have a pillow hidden away in the kitchen in order to take cat naps?"

Kyrano gave Gordon a small indulgent smile. "Nothing like that, Mister Gordon."

"Besides," Virgil chuckled. "If he was taking a 'cat nap', he would have fur not feathers on his robe."

Gordon rolled his eyes. "Ha ha, very funny, Virg."

Kyrano turned to Jeff with a slight look of impatience. "If there is nothing else, Mr. Tracy?"

Jeff shook his head. "I think we have everything that we need. Thank you, Kyrano."

Kyrano bowed again. "Just call me if you need anything else." He then left the room.

"Speaking of feathers…" Gordon looked at John. "I haven't seen you with Polly all day."

"Do you blame him?" Virgil asked in disgust. "She bit him twice yesterday."

"She did? Gee, I'm sorry John." Gordon replied trying to sound sympathetic. "So, you're teaching her a lesson?"

"Oh, I taught her a lesson, all right." John said ominously.

Gordon shook his head. "So how is she now?"

"I don't know." John replied. "You tell me."

"What?" Gordon asked in confusion with his fork halfway to his mouth.

John looked Gordon straight in the eye and then let his gaze fall to Gordon's plate.

Gordon looked down at his plate and then at John. "No… you didn't. There's no way that you did." He sputtered.

John just raised an eyebrow and took another bite of his stir-fry.

Scott's and Virgil's forks fell to their plates clanking loudly as they hit. "John?" Scott questioned his brother.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Virgil muttered under his breath.

Gordon laughed nervously. "No…he's just trying to yank my chain. He wouldn't do such a thing. It's not in his nature."

"How can you be so sure?" Virgil asked Gordon. "He's spent the last two weeks getting his hair pulled and getting bit by a bird he never wanted in the first place."

"And you did say that the tetrazzini had an unusual flavor." Scott added. "Wouldn't that explain it?"

"But…no, you can't convince me that John killed Polly." Gordon replied flustered.

"Of course, I didn't." John said as he gave Gordon a mischievous look. "I gave her to Kyrano. He took care of it."

Gordon's eyes widened a bit, but then he smirked. "There that proves it. Kyrano would never kill Polly. It would go against his beliefs."

Jeff pushed the food around on his plate. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. He does respect life, but he also understands about the 'food chain'."

Gordon shook his head. "No, I just don't believe it of Kyrano. Besides there's not this much meat on a Macaw."

John looked Gordon square in the face. "Then why don't you finish your meal?"

Gordon looked down at his plate. He wiped his mouth and placed his napkin next to his plate. He looked at John with an uncomfortable look on his face. "Actually, it was very filling. I **am** completely stuffed with what I have already eaten."

"I don't **believe** you." John replied in a hard tone.

Gordon gave John a clumsy looking grin. "Would you believe that I think I'm coming down with the flu? My stomach's a bit queasy."

John smiled benignly at Gordon. "Oh, I would believe that your stomach is a bit queasy, but it has nothing to do with the flu. Does it?"

Gordon looked at the rest of his family who were waiting expectantly for Gordon to answer. Slamming his hand down on the table, he angrily declared. "Dammit John, this isn't funny anymore."

John laughed out loud and then grinned at his brother. He simply said. "Gotcha!"

The rest of the Tracys joined in the laughter with John. Gordon hung his head and shook it back and forth. "I knew it. I knew it. I even argued for it."

"But you didn't believe it enough." John teased. "Since you eventually began to question it."

Gordon looked around the table at the others. "Were you all in on it?"

"Sure we were." Virgil answered immediately.

"Better believe it." Scott added.

John burst out laughing. "Don't believe them, Gordy. They're just trying to save face. Only dad and Kyrano were 'in on it' with me."

"Well, they played beautifully into your plans even if they didn't know about it." Gordon huffed.

"Yeah, they did." John gleefully replied.

Gordon rolled his eyes. "All right, all right. My hat is off to you. You got me, and you got me good. Even though I knew better, you got me wondering. So are we even now for the 'pirate' prank?"

John thought for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah, I'd say we're even."

"Great," Gordon said as he moved his napkin back to his lap and began to eat again. "But it still has an unusual flavor in it."

John waved his hand dismissively. "It's nothing more than some smoked cumin that Kyrano added to the recipe."

"Really," Gordon replied. "Maybe he should leave it in. It gives it a little extra oomph."

"I'll mention it to him." John laughed as he went back to his own meal.

* * *

_One week later_

John entered the lounge. "Hi, Dad." He addressed his father who was sitting at the desk. "How are things going?"

"Fine," Jeff answered. "How are you?"

John plopped down on the sofa. "I'm doing great. I just finished packing for the trip. It's going to be great. I'm really looking forward to it."

Jeff sat back and watched his son. "Are you worried about your appointment tomorrow?"

John shook his head. "Nah, not worried, per say…a little anxious, maybe. I can't wait to get rid of this eye patch."

"I can understand that." Jeff replied. "But it sure is different than how you were acting before your last appointment."

"I know." John acknowledged. "I was way out of hand. I can't believe that I let my fears run away like that."

Jeff smiled. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's just part of human nature."

John leaned forward. "You're right, as usual." Suddenly changing the subject, John asked. "So what are you doing?"

Jeff looked at the papers on his desk. "Oh, I'm just working on some paperwork that needs to be finished before our trip."

"Anything that I can do to help?" John volunteered.

Jeff shook his head. "Not with this. I'm almost done." Glancing at his watch, he continued. "But if you want you could go to the laundry room for me and transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer."

"Sure, I can do that." John replied standing up. "Is there any more laundry that you need put in?"

Jeff shook his head again. "No, what's in the washer right now is the last that I need for the trip."

"Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes." John said as he left the lounge.

Jeff went back to his work but was interrupted after just a minute or two by an incoming call from Alan. Jeff keyed the comm. "This is Tracy Island. Go ahead, Alan."

Alan dived right in. "We have an emergency call from Los Angeles. There is a eight story apartment building that is on fire. The LA fire department is asking for help. They are stretched thin because of a wildfire in the hills."

"What kind of damage are we looking at here, and are there people still in the building?" Jeff asked.

Alan began to explain. "The local authorities are not sure about how many people are still in the building. It is a low-rent building which hasn't been well taken care of. It probably should have been declared a slum and shut down, but somehow the owner has been able to slip by the safety inspections. The authorities are also concerned about the fire jumping to the nearby buildings. Apparently this building is in an older part of town where the buildings are quite close together. Many of them are abandoned. They are afraid that they could lose more buildings than just that one."

"F-A-B, let the authorities know that we are on the way." Jeff disconnected the comm. unit as he also hit the alarm to call his other sons. Once they were assembled, he began to explain. "There's an apartment fire in LA, and the fire department has asked for our help. Apparently the buildings are close together. So, Scott, you may have trouble finding a suitable landing site. Virgil obviously you will need the pod with the firefighting equipment. Just remember what Brains said this morning about the solar flares. You shouldn't have trouble between yourselves, but the local authorities may have trouble with their radios and satellite links. Be patient with them, but above all else, be safe. Now take off."

A chorus of "F-A-Bs" were heard as the three Tracy brothers headed to the ships.

John sat down in front of his father's desk. "I hope they can get everyone out."

Jeff sighed. "So do I."

Forty-five minutes later, Scott called in. "Mobile control to International Rescue command."

"This is command, go ahead, mobile control." Jeff answered, as Scott's portrait changed to the live feed.

Scott began to report the situation. "I have arrived at the danger zone and have met with the fire chief Bob Wiseman to coordinate our efforts. The apartment building is fully involved. There is no way to continue the search for tenants, but it is unlikely that anyone is still alive in there at this point."

"Were they able to rescue anybody from the building? Do we know how many were still inside?" Jeff broke in.

Scott nodded his head. "The fire department was able to get sixty-eight people out, but there's no way to tell how many people were still in the building since we don't know how many got out on their own or who just weren't home to begin with."

"Has it spread to other buildings?" Jeff continued.

"Yes, it has." Scott replied. "Fortunately, it has only spread to an abandoned factory next door. The fire chief and I have decided that the most prudent course of action is to let the apartment building and the abandoned building burn and concentrate on protecting the other nearby buildings. Once Thunderbird Two gets here, Virg and Gordon can work on putting out the fire in those two buildings."

"Do you have an ETA on Thunderbird Two's arrival?" Was Jeff's next question.

Scott glanced at his watch. "ETA is about thirty-four minutes."

Jeff nodded. "Good, keep me informed of any changes."

"F-A-b, mobile control…out." Scott replied as he disconnected the call.

John meet Jeff's gaze. "It doesn't feel right to just let that fire burn without even trying to put it out, does it?"

"No, it doesn't." Jeff replied. "But when you have limited resources, hard decisions have to be made. I just hope that they can save the surrounding buildings. Thirty minutes sure can seem like a long time to wait for needed equipment."

* * *

Scott was thinking the same thing. He glanced at his watch again. Virgil should be getting there any time. He decided to call his brother. "Mobile control to Thunderbird Two, come in please." 

Virgil's face appeared on mobile control's screen. "This is Thunderbird Two. Go ahead mobile control."

"How far out are you?" Scott asked.

Virgil checked his instruments. "We are three point four minutes from the landing site."

"Great," Scott replied. "Once you land, grab the firefly and the fire truck and head to this location. I'll give you further instructions once you get here."

"F-A-B, we'll see you in a few minutes." Virgil said as Scott disconnected the comm.

The fire chief jogged up to Scott. "I think we may have a problem."

"What?" Scott questioned.

Raising his hand radio, he explained. "I'm having trouble getting through to the Public Work and Utilities Company. I had them for a short time and asked them to cut the utilities here, but now I lost contact. I'm not even sure that they were able to hear my request."

"Let me take care of it." Scott said, keying the comm. at the same time. "Mobile control to Thunderbird Five, come in please."

This time it was Alan's face that appeared on the screen. "Thunderbird Five here, I read you mobile control."

"Alan, I need you to contact the Public Works and Utilities Company and make sure that the utilities for 1860 N. Martin Ave. have been shut off." Scott ordered. "The fire chief requested it, but because of radio interference we cannot get confirmation of it."

"F-A-B, Scott. I'll let you know as soon as I find out anything." Alan replied as he switched the comm. channel in order to reach the local utility company.

It was almost ten minutes later when the firefly and the fire truck rolled up. Virgil climbed out of the firefly and approached Scott.

"Where do you want us?" Virgil asked.

Just then the comm. unit on mobile control beeped, indicating an incoming call. "Hang on a minute." Scott told Virgil. He could see by the instruments that the call was from Alan. He keyed the comm. "This is mobile control, go ahead, Alan."

"I contacted the utility company." Alan began. "They had lost communications before getting the fire chief's request, but they have now cut the utilities to your location."

"Thanks, Alan. Mobile control…out." Scott said. Turning back to Virgil and Gordon, he continued. "Virgil, take the firefly and start working on the apartment building, and Gordon, take the fire truck and work on the other. Once we can get the fire knocked down some, and the surrounding buildings are no longer in danger, the fire department will be able to help us with these two."

"F-A-B" Virgil and Gordon echoed each other and headed to their machines.

Even with the specialized equipment of International Rescue, it still took the Tracys and the fire department another three hours to extinguish the blaze.

Virgil and Gordon were drinking water while standing near mobile control while Scott looked over the burned out buildings. "What a waste." He mumbled.

Virgil sighed. "Yeah, it is. All these people who are now homeless…not to mention the ones who lost their lives. I wonder if they'll ever figure out what started it."

Scott shrugged. "Who knows? Let me ask your opinion," Pointing towards the almost completely burned down apartment building, he asked. "Look at the remnant of the northeast corner. Does that look very stable?"

Virgil looked to where Scott was pointing. There was part of the burnt corner standing, but as it went up, there was quite a few jagged boards drooping and hanging precariously from some cross beams that had remained attached to the corner. Virgil shook his head. "No, those boards could be dangerous."

"Do you think that you can push it into the building with the firefly?" Scott asked.

Virgil nodded. "Sure, it shouldn't be a problem."

"Good," Scott replied. "Head to it, and I'll let Chief Wiseman know what we are doing and why."

"F-A-B" Virgil said as he headed back to the firefly.

Scott was walking back after quickly explaining what Virgil was doing to the fire chief. He could see that Virgil had the firefly in position to knock down the corner. He stumbled as the ground shook and the air was split with the sound of an explosion. Scott quickly regained his footing and looked to where the explosion had come from. Scott's heart leaped into his throat when he took in the scene. The firefly lay on its side about four feet from a shooting geyser of flame.

"Virgil!" Scott yelled as he began to run toward the downed machine.

* * *

Author's Note - Okay, now what have we done? First John, then Alan, along came Scott, now we're nailing Virgil, we are an equal oppurtunity "pick on the Tracys". 

Anyways, we hope that you enjoyed this chaper. The action is going to be picking up for the next few chapters, and Alan will be in the middle of most of it. That will make our Alan fans happy.

We want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter. We normally try to response to the reviews indiviually, but unfortunately life really took a bit out of Convert this past week, so we didn't get to have our weekly "bull" session which is when we normally do the replies. We are so sorry if you felt that we were ignoring you. We will try to do better this week. Convert certainly hopes so. I can't stand another week like last. :-( Again, thanks for all the wonderful reviews. They do mean so much to us. We just hope that we can continue to live up to the expected standards.


	21. Another Mistake?

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 21 – Another Mistake?

Scott was heedless of the shouting that was going on around him. He ran as fast as he could toward the firefly. He reached the downed machine a few seconds after Gordon had. He saw that his younger brother was climbing up on to the machine.

"Virgil!" Gordon yelled. He was crouched low trying to futilely protect himself from the heat from the flame as he crawled towards the door of the firefly.

By the time that Scott climbed on to the firefly, Gordon was already lowering himself through the now open door into the cockpit area. Scott crept to the doorway himself. At that point, Scott began to feel the spray of water as the firefighters began to fight the new blaze. "How is he?" Scott called down to Gordon.

"He's unconscious right now." Gordon called back. "I'm still checking for other injuries."

A couple of paramedics began to climb on the firefly. Scott yelled to them. "We're going to need a c-collar and a backboard."

One handed Scott the equipment that he was carrying and headed back to get the requested equipment. The other handed Scott the box that he was carrying and then climbed next to Scott. "What have we got?"

"We're not sure yet." Scott replied. "He's unconscious, but we don't know about other injuries. The collar and board are a precaution."

The paramedic nodded. "You should go back down, at least until the fire is out. We'll get your colleague out of here."

Scott shook his head. "There's no way that I'm leaving him."

"Please, we've been trained to do this kind of work." The paramedic tried to argue.

"I've been trained too." Scott snapped. "And I'm not going anywhere until my colleague is out of here. Now are you going in there to help or am I?"

The paramedic nodded. "Okay, I'll go in there. Once we get him ready to move, you can help pull him up."

Scott nodded and impatiently drummed his fingers against his knee while subconsciously chewing his bottom lip. The other paramedic returned with the requested items and handed them to his partner. "Do you want me down there?"

His partner shook his head. "No, Roy, it's tight as it is. Just be ready to pull him up once we get him on the board."

"You got it Mitch." The paramedic replied. He noticed how upset Scott looked. "Hey, relax a bit. Mitch is a great paramedic. Your buddy couldn't be in better hands."

Scott gave Roy a curt nod but didn't show any signs of relaxing. A few minutes later Mitch called from inside the firefly. "Okay, we're ready to move him."

Scott and Roy positioned themselves on either side of the doorway. They reached down as Gordon and Mitch raised the backboard into their waiting hands. As they pulled Virgil up, Scott realized that some more firefighters had joined them. Two more had climbed on top of the firefly. They helped pull the backboard up. Once Virgil was clear of the door, the four of them maneuvered him to the edge of the firefly and lowered him down to the waiting arms of more firefighters who immediately began to carry him away. Roy climbed down as Scott reached in to help Mitch and Gordon climb from the interior.

Once they climbed off the firefly, they followed behind Virgil to the triage area. Chief Wiseman joined them as they walked. "How's your man?"

Scott shook his head. "He's unconscious. That's all I know. Hopefully your men can tell me more."

"I'm sure they will." The fire chief replied. "They're good men and good at their jobs."

Scott nodded. "Do you have any idea what caused the explosion?"

"I don't know for sure," Chief Wiseman replied. "But my gut is telling me that when your man pushed in the corner, he broke the gas line coming into the building which then was ignited probably by a spark created by your machine going over the rubble."

Scott shook his head. "There shouldn't be any gas in that line. It was shut off at the main."

The chief eyed the spire of flame shooting out of the ground. "It was **supposed** to be shut off, but I can tell by that fire that it is a live gas line. I've been trying to get a hold of the utility company, but…"

"Let me try." Scott practically growled as he switched direction and headed towards mobile control. "Mobile control to Thunderbird Five," Scott barked into the comm. unit.

Alan answered immediately. He could tell by Scott's voice that something was wrong. "This is Thunderbird Five. What's wrong Scott?"

"We have a live gas line here." Scott angrily spat out. "Call the utility company and find out why the hell it hasn't been shut down."

"F-A-B" Alan replied and then switched comm. channels. About five minutes later, Alan was back on the comm. "Thunderbird Five to mobile control."

"What have you found out?" Scott demanded.

Alan sighed a bit. "I don't know, Scott. I've talked to the utility company, and they have confirmed the shut down of all utilities at 1860 N. Martin Ave. They're…"

"1860?" Scott erupted in anger. "God dammit, Alan, we're at 1680 N. Martin Ave. You gave them the wrong address. You screwed up again and now Virgil is hurt."

"Virgil is hurt?" Alan asked in alarm. "What…"

Scott angrily interrupted. "When are you ever going to grow up and learn to do your job?"

Alan's voice became clogged with emotion. "Scott…I'm sorry…I…"

"Stuff it Alan," Scott snapped. "Quit sniveling and do your job. Call the utility company back and get the right gas line shut down. Can you do that? Can I **trust** you to do your job?"

"I can't believe…" Alan tried to speak.

"You can't believe?!" Scott yelled incredulously. "Well, I can believe it. I knew you were just play acting to avoid trouble. I tried to warn them that you couldn't be trusted…"

That statement hit Alan like a physical punch. Scott just admitted that he didn't trust him. So his apology **was** a lie. He should have listened to his head instead of following his heart and trying to make peace with his family. Since he couldn't believe Scott, he shouldn't trust the rest of the family either. This was it; he was done with both International Rescue and his family.

Scott's rant had continued. "I tried to tell them that you were immature and irresponsible. I just hope that they will listen to me this time. We're running out of brothers for you to injure. You're **not** going to weasel your way out of this one. I **will** make sure of it this time. Now, do your job and do it right this time. I'm going to check on Virgil's condition."

"Scott…" Alan tried to speak again.

"**NO!** Alan." Scott growled. "Just fix this." He then disconnected the comm. before Alan could say any more.

Scott walked over to where the paramedics were examining Virgil. He was relieved to see that Virgil was awake and arguing with them.

"I'm telling you that I am fine." Virgil complained. "I just had the wind knocked out of me. No big deal."

"Sir, you were unconscious for almost twenty minutes." Mitch tried to patiently explain. "That's more than just getting the wind knocked out of you. You need to be examined by a doctor."

Virgil spotted his older brother. "Hey, Scott, will you tell these guys that I'm fine."

"What's his condition?" Scott asked Mitch.

Mitch looked up at Scott. "He has a probable concussion, but he should have a MRI to rule out a more serious head injury. Plus he has an injured wrist. It's more than likely just a sprain, but he will need an x-ray to confirm it."

"Which we can do back at our base." Virgil continued to plead his case. "We have a doctor and the equipment. I **don't** have to go to the hospital."

Scott squatted down next to Virgil's head. "Look, Virg, we're going to be here for a bit longer. Why don't you go to the hospital and let them take care of you. We'll meet you there once we get things squared away here."

"But Scott," Virgil began.

"No buts." Scott said with a smile. "Consider it an order from your field commander."

Virgil knew he had been beat. "F-A-B" he replied. Waving his hand dismissively, he told the paramedics. "I guess I'm all yours."

Once Virgil was on his way to the hospital, Scott turned to Gordon. "Okay, we need to upright the firefly and assess her for damage."

Gordon looked back towards the firefly. The fire was now out. "How did this happen?" He muttered quietly.

Scott, however, heard him. "Alan screwed up again. That's how it happened."

"What?" Gordon asked in confusion.

Scott shook his head and snapped at Gordon. "Alan had the utility company cut the utilities to the wrong address. So when Virgil knocked down the corner, he broke a live gas line that exploded."

"Maybe it was the utility company that made the mistake." Gordon volunteered.

Scott shook his head. "No, when I asked him to find out what went wrong, he gave me the wrong address. I knew then what the problem was, or should I say who?"

Gordon shook his head. "I can't believe it. Alan's been so careful since John's accident. There's got to be something more to it?"

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you." Scott snarled. "But everyone wanted to believe that he made the mistake on Five because he was emotionally upset over that one rescue. What's going to be his excuse this time? We don't even know the names of the victims, so he couldn't be upset about a boy and his mother with his and mom's name. How many more of us are going to be hurt before something is done about Alan? Does one of us have to be killed?"

Gordon shook his head. "Well, there's nothing we can do about it right now. So we better just do **our** jobs."

Scott just nodded as the two of them headed towards the firefly.

An hour later, the firefly was secured in the pod, and Scott and Gordon were busy tearing down mobile control. "All, in all, the damages aren't bad. Most of them are just cosmetic." Gordon remarked. "It shouldn't take long to repair it."

Scott nodded. "Yes, that broken track should only take about an hour or so. The longest time will be waiting for the new paint job to dry. We were lucky, or should I say that Alan was lucky. I can't believe that he was so careless."

Gordon really didn't feel like arguing with Scott about Alan. "Well, how are we going to get Virgil? Are we taking the ships, or what?"

Chief Wiseman approached just then. "Excuse me," he interrupted. "I wanted to thank you for your help today, and I couldn't help but overhear your conversation." Gordon shot Scott a concerned look. Just how much had he overheard? Had he heard the disgust in Scott's voice? His fears, though, were allayed when the chief continued. "I can take you to the hospital and then bring you back here when you're finished."

Scott shook his head. "I couldn't ask you to do that. I'm sure that you have plenty of work to do."

"You didn't ask." The chief countered. "I offered. Besides I'd like to see how Virgil…is that what you called him earlier?" Scott nodded and the chief continues. "I'd like to see how Virgil is doing and thank him personally."

"There's no need." Scott argued. "We were just doing our job."

"You were doing **our** jobs." The chief countered. "Please let me do this. I hold International Rescue in such high esteem. You guys risk your lives with no thought of recompense. This is the least that I can do."

Scott finally relented. "Okay, it would help us out. Just give us a minute to put this stuff away and lock down our ships."

"Sure, I need to talk to Captain Light about the overhaul, and I'll meet you at my car." Chief Wiseman said as he headed back towards the two remaining fire trucks.

"Let's not discuss Alan anymore until we get home." Gordon said. "We don't need the whole world knowing that there is such animosity between International Rescue operatives."

"Whatever." Scott replied snidely. "Let's get this stuff stowed."

* * *

A half hour later, Scott and Gordon followed Chief Wiseman into the hospital's emergency room department. The chief walked to the reception desk and spoke to the young woman behind it. "Excuse me, miss. We are here to see the International Rescue agent." 

The woman eyed the two young men who stood with the fire chief. They wore the same uniform as their star patient. "Yes, sir, I can take you to him." She seemed to hesitate for a moment as she looked up his information on the computer. "I do have a few questions. What is his last name? He wouldn't tell us. He said that if we really needed a last name to use 'Smith'. Also who should we send the bill to? Does he have any insurance? Does he have a primary care physician that we should send a report of this visit to?"

Scott shook his head. "No insurance. We will pay before we leave and if we can just get copies of any x-rays and tests results and any doctor's notes, our doctor can add it to his file. We don't need an official report. Just a copy of his chart will do. As far as a last name, continue using 'Smith'. I'm sorry but it is vital that our identities remain secret even in this case."

The nurse shook her head. "Sir, I don't think you realize how much this visit will cost, with the MRI and x-rays. Without any insurance, it will be very costly, and I don't think that you normally carry large sums of cash with you."

Scott smiled indulgently. "You're right. I don't carry a large sum of cash, but let me assure you, I can handle it. We have a secure bank account that I can make an electronic transfer from just for cases like this. The money will be in the hospital's account before we leave."

The receptionist nodded her head. "I guess as long as you pay before you leave, we will have to be happy with that." She called to a passing nurse. "Excuse me, Linda. Could you take these gentlemen to exam room seven?"

A petite red head smiled enticingly at Gordon. "Certainly, follow me gentlemen." They followed her down the hall. She stopped in front of a door at the end of the hall. Still making eyes at Gordon, she said. "Here you are gentlemen. If there is anything else I can do for you, just ask."

Gordon blushed. "I'm sure that we will be fine, but thank you."

"Any time," she replied as she sauntered back down the hall.

"I think she likes you." Scott teased as they opened the door to Virgil's room.

Gordon rolled his eyes. "Gee, ya think? Hey, Virg, how are you feeling?" He asked trying to change subjects.

"Yes, Virgil, how are you doing?" Scott asked as he took in his brother's appearance.

Virgil lay in the hospital bed, looking a bit better than he had when he had been taken away from the scene. His face at least had been washed. The backboard and c-collar had been removed. He was in a clean hospital gown instead of his dirty uniform. His arm was in a temporary splint and rested on a pillow. Scott, though, could still see the pain evident on his face.

"I'm fine." Virgil replied. "I'm just waiting for the results of the MRI and the x-rays to come back."

"You remember Chief Wiseman from the fire, right?" Scott asked indicating the other person who had joined them. "He has been gracious enough to bring us here, and he is going to take us back to the ships once you're released."

Virgil held his good hand out. "We weren't actually introduced at the fire. I'm Virgil. It's nice to meet you. Thank you for the help that you've given my co-workers."

The chief shook Virgil's hand. "It's my pleasure to meet you. I wanted the opportunity to thank you and to tell you how sorry I was that you were injured."

Virgil waved off the apology. "There's nothing for you to be sorry about. Accidents do happen."

Scott let out a snort of disgust.

"What?" Virgil asked.

Gordon jumped in before Scott could reply. "It's nothing that you need to worry about right now. We can talk later."

Chief Wiseman could sense that he was in the way, so he excused himself. "Well, I'll wait for you out in the waiting room. I should find a phone and check in with the office."

Scott nodded. "Okay, we'll come find you once we hear from the doctor."

Once the chief left the room, Scott asked. "How are you really feeling?" While at the same time Virgil asked his own question. "Now, what is really going on?"

Scott shook his head. "You answer first. How are you really feeling? And don't give me the line that you're fine. I can see by your face that you're in pain."

Virgil sighed. "All right, I've got a major headache. I feel like the whole drum section from the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra had taken up residence in my head. Is that what you want to hear? Fine, I admit it. Now, tell me. What's going on."

"Have they given you anything for the pain?" Gordon asked.

Virgil closed his eyes and tried to will the pain away. "Not yet, they wanted to wait until they got the results of the MRI."

"Maybe I should go find your doctor. It's not right that they have just left you in pain." Gordon grumbled and headed towards the door.

"No, Gordon." Virgil stopped him. "They're just doing what they think is best. Now will someone please explain Scott's reaction when I mentioned the accident?"

Scott began to pace as he angrily started to explain. "That's just it. Your 'accident' wasn't really and accident."

"Scott," Gordon interrupted. "I thought we agreed not to talk about this until we get back to the Island."

"Virgil has a right to know." Scott argued. "After all, he has been asking." Turning back towards Virgil, he continued. "Your accident was a direct result of Alan's carelessness."

"Scott, you can't be certain…" Gordon began only to be cut off by Scott.

"What I **am** certain of is that Alan screwed up again." Scott snapped. "He transposed those two numbers and the utility company shut down the utilities at a building two blocks away."

"Whoa, calm down and explain it to me slowly." Virgil requested. "And sit down. God, that pacing is annoying."

Scott plopped down in a chair. "All right, calm…I can do calm. Okay, first off, the fire chief was having radio trouble and could not contact the utility company."

"Because of the solar flares?" Virgil interrupted.

Scott nodded. "Probably, so I had Alan call the utility company."

"Why didn't you call from mobile control?" Gordon asked.

"Because I wasn't sure if I could get through." Scott answered.

"But Brains said that the interference from the solar flares wouldn't interfere with our equipment." Gordon pointed out.

Scott ran a hand over his face. He had not expected his action to have been called into question. "I felt that I should go with the definite course of action. I knew that Thunderbird Five could unquestionably break through the interference."

"Did you even try to call them yourself?" Gordon pressed.

"It's not like I was shirking my responsibilities." Scott snapped at Gordon. "I decided not to waste time trying something that may or may not work. I decided that the prudent choice was to go with the option that I knew would work. It still doesn't change the fact that Alan was careless."

"But if he hadn't been given your job to do…" Gordon continued his argument.

"Guys," Virgil broke in. "I wanted to hear what happened, not an argument between you two."

Gordon crossed his arms and leaned against a wall. He understood that Alan made a mistake, but Scott was not blameless in this incident, at least in his mind. He hoped that their father would also see that.

"Sorry," Scott told Virgil as he continued his story. "Anyways, I asked Alan to call the utility company to cut the utilities to the apartment building. He gave them the wrong address. So the utilities were still active to the building."

"Which was probably one of the reasons why we were having a hard time putting out the fire." Virgil speculated.

"What about the electricity?" Gordon suddenly asked. "Why was that cut?"

"I don't know for certain." Scott replied. "If I had to hazard a guess, I would say that the building's transformer had a safety shut-off. So when the transformer registered the overloads that were obviously happening in the early stages of the fire, it shut itself off, probably before Alan even called the utility company."

Gordon rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he mumbled.

Scott shot him a disgusted look and went back to explaining to Virgil. "Anyways, when you knocked in the corner, you broke the incoming gas line and a spark set it off. The force of the explosion knocked the firefly on to its side and you along with it."

"So, you blame Alan for this." Virgil ventured a guess.

Scott couldn't believe Virgil asked him that. "Of course, if Alan had given the utility company the right address that gas line would not have been active."

Virgil started to shake his head but stopped as the headache increased. "Are you sure that Alan gave them the wrong address? Maybe the utility company…"

Scott interrupted shaking his head. "No, when I called him after the explosion, he…"

Scott was interrupted by the door opening. The white coated doctor walked in. "Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am Dr. Barton, and I have been treating Virgil today, and I'm pleased to say that things are looking good."

"Does that mean you can finally give him something for his headache?" Gordon demanded.

"Yes, and I've already ordered a pain reliever for him." Dr. Barton replied. Addressing Virgil, he continued. "I'm sorry that I couldn't give you anything for it earlier, but I really wanted to rule out a more serious head injury. A pain killer could have masked symptoms of that."

"I understand." Virgil replied. "You only did what you thought was best. Besides, it wasn't so bad."

"Virgil is tough." Scott teased. "Aren't ya, Virg?"

"Shut up, Scott." Virgil muttered.

Scott laughed lightly but then sobered as he asked the doctor. "So how is he?"

Dr. Barton cleared his throat. "The MRI came back clear."

"That's good, isn't it?" Gordon asked.

"Well, it means that you don't have a skull fracture." Dr. Barton answered, keeping his attention towards his patient, not Gordon. "But you did suffer a slight concussion. You will probably have a headache over the next couple of days. Which is why I'm going to send a prescription home with you."

"That really isn't necessary." Virgil replied. "I'm sure that our doctor will have something for me."

"That is your choice." The doctor remarked.

The nurse entered at that moment. She had a syringe and an ace bandage. Virgil flinched as the needle pierced his skin after she had wiped the injection site with an alcohol wipe.

The doctor continued speaking as the nurse continued her duties. "The x-ray confirmed that you're wrist is just sprained and not broken. So you'll need to keep it wrapped for a week or so. You're doctor can monitor its progress. I would recommend that you take it easy for the next week. Do you have any questions?"

Virgil looked up from watching the nurse wrap his arm. "Just one, can I go home now?"

Dr. Barton laughed. "Are you tired of our hospitality already?"

"It's not you." Virgil replied flustered. "I just don't like hospitals."

"I don't know many people who do." Dr. Barton answered still laughing. "I want to keep you for another thirty minutes just to make sure that you aren't going to have a reaction to the pain killer."

"I doubt it. I have never had a reaction to pain killers before." Virgil argued.

Dr. Barton shook his head. "Relax, it would take probably that long to get your discharge papers ready, and to make you happy, I'll get started on them right now."

Virgil smiled. "Thanks Doc. I appreciate it."

"No, thank you." Dr. Barton said as he reached out to shake Virgil's good hand. "You put yourself in danger to help people, and this was the result." He shook Scott's and then Gordon's hand. "It was my pleasure to return the favor, no matter how small the contribution. Let me know if you need anything else before you leave." Dr. Barton then left the room, and the nurse, who had finished with Virgil's wrist, followed behind him.

"He seemed nice." Gordon said.

"He is." Virgil replied. "Everyone has been very nice."

Scott stood up. "Well, I better find the billing office and get your account squared away. Plus I should let Chief Wiseman know what is going on."

"Okay, Scott, we'll wait here for you." Gordon remarked.

Scott nodded. "I'll be as quick as I can."

"Take your time." Virgil said, finally feeling some relief from the pain killer.

Scott left the room, and Virgil and Gordon were quiet for a few moments. Finally, Gordon broke the silence. "Virgil, are you upset with Alan?"

Virgil sighed. "To tell you the truth, I don't know what to think. I know he's been extra cautious since John's accident. So this whole incident doesn't make sense."

Gordon nodded. "I know. I feel the same way. But Scott is so angry about it that I'm afraid of what he will say or do to Alan. We were just drawing him back, and I'm afraid that he is going to drive him away again."

"Then we'll just have to keep Alan from running away, emotionally speaking." Virgil tried to reassure his brother.

Gordon let out a snort of disgust. "I wouldn't be too surprised if it will be 'physical' depending on how Scott treats him."

"Let's not borrow trouble." Virgil said. "Things will look better after our trip."

"Oh come on," Gordon declared angrily. "Do you really think that either Scott or Alan will be willing to go on that trip now?"

"Okay," Virgil acquiesced. "So when Alan gets home, we'll just have to prove to him how much we care about him."

Gordon swallowed back the lump that had formed in his throat. "I just hope it isn't too late." He whispered.

Silence reigned again in the room as the two brothers were lost in their own thoughts. Neither brother paid attention to the time until Scott returned with Chief Wiseman and the nurse.

"Okay, guys, I've taken care of the bill." Scott began in an upbeat tone. "So once Virg signs his release papers, we can get out of here." Noticing the subdued looks, he asked. "Is something wrong?"

Virgil was busy with the nurse and his release papers, but Gordon just shook his head. "Nothing's wrong. It's just been a long and tiring day."

Scott nodded. "I understand."

Another ten minutes later, the release papers had been signed. Virgil had changed back to his uniform, and the three Tracy brothers were on their way back to the ships in order to finally be able to head home.

* * *

Author's Note: How much of a beast can Scott be? Poor Alan, he's being blamed again. What does Gordon know? Why is he defending Alan? Find out next week.

Okay, we are letting you know ahead of time. Next weekend is the holiday weekend, and poor Convert is already got a full schedule from Friday through Monday. Hopefully, we will have a chance to do review replies, but then again, we may not have a chance to get together. Convert though will MAKE the time to update next Sunday, but it may be a little later in the evening. PLEASE be patient with us. Thanks again to everyone who did review, especially our anonymous ones, since this is the only time that we can acknowledge you. They do mean so much to us. Thanks again.


	22. Mistake Revealed

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 22 – Mistake Revealed

Scott shadowed Thunderbird Two on the flight home. Although he knew that Gordon was a competent pilot, he felt like he needed to "protect" Thunderbird Two and her crew, especially the one in sickbay. His brothers would normally laugh at him and call him a "mother hen". Once they had reached Tracy Island, Scott slid his bird into her silo. He hurriedly went through the post flight checks and then ducked out to meet up with Thunderbird Two in her silo. When he climbed aboard Thunderbird Two, he headed directly to the sickbay only to find it empty. Scott frowned. There was no way that Gordon had finished the flight checks and left with Virgil. Maybe their dad had met them and took Virgil to the sickroom. He hoped so. He headed to the cockpit to see if Gordon needed help. When the cockpit door slid open, he could hear arguing.

"I'm telling you, Dad. I'm feeling a whole lot better." Virgil's voice reached Scott's ears.

"So this is where he disappeared to." Scott mused to himself.

"I'd still like you to be examined by Brains." Jeff responded to Virgil.

Scott stepped into the cockpit and saw his father standing in front of the co-pilot's chair where his wayward brother was seated. "Virgil what are you doing here?" He asked.

Virgil looked up in surprise. He hadn't heard Scott come in. "Hi Scott, I was bored during the flight so I came up to visit with Gordon."

"You're supposed to be resting." Scott said.

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. I'm not an invalid. All I have is a headache from a bump on the head. I'm fine."

"But you've been relieved of duty for medical reasons." Scott argued.

"And I haven't been working." Virgil replied in a snippy tone. "Gordon did the flying and all the post flight checks. All I've done is sit here and talk."

"All you did was disobey doctor's orders." Scott growled.

Virgil stood and got toe-to-toe with Scott. He ground out between gritted teeth. "The **doctor's** order was to take it **easy**, but if you think for one minute that I'm going to just lie around in bed for the next week, you are sadly mistaken. Quit treating me like a fragile china doll."

Scott turned to his dad in frustration. "Will you do something about him?"

Jeff gave Scott a hard look that confused Scott. "Okay, Virgil, if that's how you feel, I won't fight you about it."

"But Dad…" Scott began but stopped when Jeff held up a silencing hand.

"But I would still like you to check in with Brains before he leaves this afternoon." Jeff continued speaking to Virgil.

Virgil nodded. "Sure, I'll check in with him after the debriefing."

Jeff returned the nod. "Okay, I'll give you a call when I'm ready to do the debriefing. First, Scott and I need to have a private talk."

"About the mistaken address?" Scott asked.

Jeff nodded. "Among other things."

"Well, I think Virgil and Gordon should be there too." Scott replied.

"I really don't think that is a good idea." Jeff answered.

"Why not? Alan's mistake concerns all of us." Scott argued.

Jeff gave Scott a piercing look. "You're just so sure that you know what I'm going to say, aren't you?"

Scott turned on his dad angrily. "Do **not** tell me that you are not going to punish Alan for this. There is no way in hell that you can ignore this. How many times does he have to screw up before you hold him responsible?"

Jeff fought to keep his anger in check. In his hard "military" voice, he told Scott. "You will watch your tone, young man. I intend to hold the **person** responsible for the accident accountable, but **you** may not like it. That's why I wanted to speak to you in private."

Scott was so wrapped up in his anger that he didn't realize that Jeff had not used Alan's name. He rolled his eyes and sarcastically said. "So, he's going to get away with this 'mistake' too."

Jeff clenched his fists in frustration. "Nobody is going to get away with this 'mistake', as you put it." He growled at his son.

"Then why can't Virgil and Gordon be there?" Scott continued to push his father. "They need to know that our actions have consequences. Especially Virgil, since he is the one who is suffering because of it."

Virgil looked up in surprise. He was already uncomfortable witnessing the argument between his father and oldest brother. He certainly didn't want to get drawn into it. "Scott, I…" He started to protest, but he was ignored.

"Fine, have it your way." Jeff spat out. "If you want them there to see how I handle this situation, then they'll be there. Just don't say that I didn't warn you." Turning to Gordon, he couldn't keep the anger out of his voice when he asked. "Are the post-flight checks done?"

"Yes, sir," Gordon nodded.

Jeff consciously forced himself to speak in a calmer tone. "We'll meet for the debriefing in fifteen minutes. If you're going to clean up and change, do it quick." Turning to leave, he shot Scott another angry look. "Don't be late."

Jeff stormed off of Thunderbird Two. Scott turned to speak to his brothers, but Virgil spoke before he had a chance. "Come on, Gords. Let's get changed and head to the lounge." He said in a disgusted tone, but he also said it in a way that Scott knew that his displeasure was aimed at him, not Gordon.

Scott shook his head in confusion. Why was everyone mad at him? Couldn't they see that he was just trying to protect them? Why did that make him the bad guy?

* * *

Jeff took the long way to the lounge hoping to give himself some time to cool down. When he did enter the lounge, he asked the lone occupant, "Have you been able to reach him yet?"

A worried looking John shook his head as he stood up from his father's desk. "Alan somehow disconnected the direct line from the Island to Five, so I had to hack into the system. It's a crude job, but I do know that the signal is going through. My voice should be coming from every speaker on Five. Alan, though, just won't answer the call. I'm starting to get really worried."

"Damn," Jeff muttered as he sat down. He keyed the comm. and quietly called to his son. "Alan, it's your dad. I need to talk to you." The comm. unit remained stubbornly quiet. Jeff continued, almost begging. "Please answer me. I'm not mad at you. I know what really happened." Jeff still received no answer. "Son, can you hear me? Please answer. I need to know that you're okay."

Finally a click was heard and the "audio only" words appeared in place of Alan's portrait as Alan connected the outgoing comm. A quiet voice answered. "I'm here."

Jeff's heart broke when he heard the tears in Alan's voice. He knew Alan would be embarrassed if he said anything, so he didn't mention it. "Alan, your brothers are back, and we're about ready to start the debriefing. I think…maybe…you should be in on it."

"No!" Alan spat out, almost in a panic.

"It's okay Alan." Jeff tried to calm his son. "I know what Scott said. I know how he treated you. It's part of what I plan on discussing during the debriefing. Please, Alan, you don't even have to say anything. Just listen over the comm."

"No, I can't…don't ask me." Alan said as his emotions spilled through. "I just can't do it." Alan disconnected the comm.

"Was that Alan?" Gordon asked from the door. Jeff looked up in surprise. Virgil and Gordon had just entered the room. Jeff wondered how much they had heard. "Yes, that was Alan." He said simply.

"How's he doing?" Gordon asked. "I'm sure that he is upset over all this."

Jeff nodded. "Your brother is very upset…"

"He should be." Scott, who entered the lounge just in time to catch his dad's statement, snapped.

Jeff clenched his jaw tight to keep from exploding at Scott. "Sit down, Scott." Jeff ordered.

The four Tracy brothers situated themselves around the room. Scott was confused as John glared at him from across the room. Jeff took a moment to collect his thoughts. "This is a hard meeting for me, and I'm not sure how to handle this. Obviously a mistake was made…"

"I'd say there was." Scott interjected.

"When I want your input Scott," Jeff said in disgust. "I will ask for it."

Scott was surprised at Jeff's tone. "What? I was just agreeing with you."

"Okay, fine," Jeff replied. "Let's start with you then. Why don't you tell me your version of events?"

Scott nodded. He was certainly feeling uncomfortable with his father's tone. Clearing his throat, he began. "Well, when I got there the apartment building was totally involved, and the fire had spread to the neighboring abandoned factory. I coordinated our efforts with the fire department. The fire chief couldn't contact the public utilities company to shut down the utilities to the apartment building. So I asked Alan to contact them."

"Why didn't you contact them yourself?" Jeff interrupted. Scott gave his dad a puzzled look, so Jeff continued. "It was your job after all. You are our liaison. So why did you hand it off to Alan?"

Scott sighed. He had already had this discussion with his brothers. "Well, since the fire department was having radio trouble, I wasn't sure if the solar flares would interfere with mobile control. But I knew that Thunderbird Five could definitely get through, so I asked Alan to handle it."

"But what did Brains say about the solar flares?" Jeff continued to press.

Scott was slightly taken aback by his father's questioning. Sure, he may have varied from the standard protocol, but still, it seemed like his father was angry at him for some reason. He cleared his throat and answered the question. "He said they **shouldn't** interfere with our equipment, but he wasn't one hundred percent certain. So I decided to go with the option that I knew would be the 'sure thing'."

Jeff gave him a curt nod. "Okay, that explains why you made Alan make the call. Next question: When you gave Alan the order, did you have him repeat the address back to you, so that you knew that he had the right address?"

Scott thought for a moment, suddenly realizing that he hadn't. "Uhm…I don't remember. I'd have to check the audio security recording." He replied figuring a little white lie to cover his mistake couldn't hurt.

"I already have." Jeff said in a bitter tone. "You didn't."

"Okay, that explains the attitude." Scott thought. "If I had made Alan repeat the address, I would have known it was wrong." Scott ran a hand over his face. He looked at his dad and quietly said. "I'm sorry, Dad. I…"

"You're sorry?" Jeff interrupted sarcastically. "Isn't that what Alan tried to tell you when you were chewing him out. Did you even consider that Alan may not have been responsible?"

Scott snorted. "He was just trying to cover his ass. He knew that he screwed up and wanted to get out of trouble again. I guess he figured that this 'repentant' attitude worked once, it would work again."

This time Jeff did explode angrily. "How would you know? You were so busy telling him how immature and irresponsible he was that he couldn't get a word in edgewise."

"Oh Scott, you didn't." Virgil whispered.

Scott shook his head and tried to defend himself. "I wasn't that bad."

Jeff raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Oh, really? How about we listen to the tape and let your brothers decide." He started the recording without waiting for Scott to reply.

The recording started with Alan's voice in mid-sentence. "…Have confirmed the shut down of all utilities at 1860 N. Martin Ave. They're…"

Scott's angry voice rang out. "1860? God damn it, Alan, we're at 1680 N. Martin Ave. You gave them the wrong address. You screwed up again, and now Virgil is hurt."

"Virgil is hurt? What…" The concern was evident in Alan's voice.

Scott's angry retort cut him off. "When are you ever going to grow up and learn to do your job?"

Gordon felt his gut twisting as he heard Alan practically begging Scott. "Scott…I'm sorry…I…"

Again he was cut off by Scott's angry voice. "Stuff it Alan. Quit sniveling and do you job. Call the utility…"

Gordon abruptly stood up. He practically yelled to his dad. "Shut that off! I can't hear anymore." Towering over a still seated Scott, he viciously demanded. "How could you Scott? What the hell were you thinking? You knew how upset he has been these past couple of months. You even apologized. I guess that was all an act. Wasn't it? We we're trying to draw Alan back into the family, not alienate him further."

Scott stood and pushed Gordon back a step. "How dare you question my actions? He is a danger to the team. It is my job to limit that danger. I **am** the field commander."

"Not at this moment, you're not." Jeff said.

Scott whipped around to his dad. "**WHAT!**" He demanded.

Jeff stood and met Scott's icy glare. "Three weeks ago **you** accused me of allowing my feelings to cloud my judgment. **You** assured me that you were a 'professional' when on a rescue. What I heard on that recording was not 'professional'."

"Can you blame me?" Scott asked in exasperation. "We had just pulled Virgil from the firefly unconscious. I had no idea how badly he was hurt, all because Alan couldn't keep four numbers straight."

"It wasn't Alan who didn't keep the numbers straight." John spoke for the first time during meeting, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Gordon spun to face John. "**What** is that supposed to mean?"

"Just what it sounds like." Jeff answered for John. "It wasn't Alan's mistake."

Scott shook his head. "When Alan called back after contacting the utility company the second time, **he** recited the **wrong** address to me. That means…"

Jeff pressed another button, and Alan's voice interrupted Scott. "Thunderbird Five here, I read you mobile control."

Scott's voice replied. "Alan, I need you to contact the public works and Utilities and make sure that the utilities for 1860 N. Martian Ave have been shut off. The fire chief requested…"

Jeff flipped the switch, and the recording stopped. "Did you hear that? Or shall I play it again?"

Scott sat back down heavily, his face blanching. "No, it can't be…" He whispered to no one in particular.

Gordon turned angrily on his oldest brother. "It can't be what, Scott? It can't be your fault? Is that what you meant? After all, we all know that the great Scott Tracy is infallible."

"That's enough, Gordon." Jeff addressed his hostile son. "I'm going to handle it."

Scott's face flushed with anger. "Handle it how? By grounding me? Isn't that rich? Alan makes a mistake, and he is coddled. I make a mistake, and I'm grounded. Can you explain the thinking in that?"

Jeff returned his son's angry glare. "You are not being grounded because of the mistake you made. You are being grounded because of the way you reacted to the situation. You didn't even for a micro-second consider that the mix up in the address could have been your mistake. You just immediately assumed that it was Alan's fault. You did that because you don't have any confidence in Alan. To be totally honest, even after hearing the tape, I wasn't sure how to handle this situation. After watching you though, ever since you got home, I made the decision. You have been so BULL HEADED about the fact that Alan and Alan alone was totally responsible for this accident. Even now, after hearing the recording that clearly indicates that you were the one who gave Alan the wrong address, you are trying to figure a way to blame Alan. Don't even try to deny it. I can read it in your face and mannerisms. So I have to ground you. I can't have you in charge out there if you can't trust all your team members, and I certainly can't have you in charge out there if **I** can't trust **you**."

Scott studied his hands for a moment but then jerked his head up. "You can't ground me. How would International Rescue run? John is still on medical leave, and now Virg is on the injured list too. If you ground me, that will only leave Gordon, and he can't handle rescues on his own."

"I know full well the difficulties that this will cause." Jeff stated emphatically. "John should be returned to active duty tomorrow. Hopefully, we won't get called out until after that."

Scott snorted in disbelief. "Oh that's going to work out great. You're going to send out our two least experienced pilots out alone on rescues."

"Inexperienced?" John snapped. "Need I remind you that I spend half my time on duty twenty-four seven."

"That's up on Five." Scott argued. "That's a whole lot different than getting your hands dirty on a 'real' rescue."

John got in front of Scott. "How dare you?! When I think about all the times that I've pulled your butt out of the fire by just being 'up on Five'."

"That's enough." Jeff ordered. "I think that Scott has just demonstrated why he is grounded."

Scott shook his head. "It won't work, not with just the two of them there…"

"It won't be just the two of them." Virgil interjected. "I'll be with them." Jeff opened his mouth to argue, but Virgil waved him off. "I know. I know. I'm injured, but I can go and man mobile control. That would free up a pair of hands for the actual rescue work."

Scott shot Virgil a disgusted look. "Thanks for the support, brother dear."

"We will deal with it." Jeff said confidently. "We'll limit ourselves to just using Thunderbird Two. As far as manpower, it will depend on when the call comes in. If we get a lull and we don't get a call for a couple of days, I can send Brains and Tin-Tin out if we need extra manpower. They both have rescue experience. If one comes in tonight or tomorrow, I can go out with your brothers if I have to."

"You?!" Scott snorted in derisive laughter.

Jeff rolled his eyes and said disgustingly. "You know, young man, that I am perfectly capable of doing more in International Rescue than just paying the bills."

"Yeah, whatever." Scott replied peevishly. "Am I excused now that you have grounded me?"

"I think that's a good idea for right now." Jeff answered. "Emotions are running too high right now to have a productive conversation, but we will have to talk about this eventually."

"Talk about what?" Scott sarcastically baited his dad. "Like how you blind sided me in this debriefing?"

Jeff raised his hands in mock surrender. "Hey, I wanted to do this in private, but you were the one hell bent on your brothers seeing what happens when a mistake gets made. I even tried to warn you that things weren't going to go the way you envisioned them."

"This is getting us nowhere." Scott sneered. "I'm going for a run. I need to clear my head." He then stalked out of the lounge with his back ram-rod straight and his head held high.

Once Scott had left the room, Virgil looked at his father. "Wow, this is just…" His voice trailed off as he couldn't think of the words that he wanted to say.

Jeff nodded. "I know, and I'm sorry that you guys got stuck in the middle of all this. I really had intended to speak to him in private, but when he started in with his attitude and accusations, I decided that he needed his 'ears pinned back'. I was wrong. I should've insisted on a private meeting even if I had to make it an order.

"Do you have any idea what has gotten into Scott?" Virgil questioned. "I mean, he's always had a bit of a temper, but this has gone just way over the top. It's just not like him."

Jeff nodded. "I know what you mean about Scott acting out of character, but I don't have any idea why. Hopefully, I can talk to him and find out what is going on with him."

"How long is Scott going to be grounded?" Virgil asked.

Jeff shook his head. "I really don't know. It will depend on Scott. If he is willing to learn from his mistakes and gets himself under control, it won't be very long, but if he hangs on to this anger and lets it fester, well, who knows."

"Dad?" Gordon, who was standing crossed arms at the window looking out over the ocean, asked. "What about Alan? You said that he was upset. How? Is he angry? Depressed? Or did he close himself off even more?"

"I guess I would say that he's closed off." Jeff replied dejectedly. "But from what little talking we've done, I think that he is also depressed."

Gordon turned to face his father. "Why? What did he say?"

Jeff shook his head. "He hasn't said much. I'm going to bring him home as soon as I can work a trip to Thunderbird Five."

"What did he have to say about Scott?" Virgil asked a question of his own.

Jeff sighed. "He didn't say anything."

"Then how did you know something had happened?" Gordon asked before Jeff could continue.

Jeff hung his head. In a subdued voice he explained. "John and I were talking about the up coming trip, and even though we had the radio on, we weren't really listening to it. Our attention was caught though when we heard Scott yelling. It was obvious that Scott thought Alan had done something wrong, but since we hadn't paid attention to the earlier part of the rescue, we weren't sure what had happened. A minute or so later, Alan called down and sharply informed me that he 'was putting Five on auto' and it was going to stay that way until I 'send someone up to remove him from that tin can'. He also somehow disconnected the direct line to Five. John and I went back and listened to the audio recordings to try to figure out what had happened. Of course, Scott had called the Island and just said that there had been an accident and that Virgil was injured, but he conveniently left out the part about him chewing out Alan. After listening to the recording, I could understand why Alan didn't want to talk to any of us."

Virgil gave John a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. "I bet you had a few choice words for Alan for calling your baby a 'tin can' when you did get a hold of him."

John returned the smile but shook his head. "No, I could tell that he was using anger to cover up the hurt that he was feeling."

"Wait a minute." Gordon interrupted. "If Alan disconnected the direct line, how were you able to talk to him right before the debriefing? Did he finally call back?"

Jeff sighed. "Well, after the call from Alan, John and I determined what had really happened. I had John concentrate on over riding the lock out program that Alan had used."

"That was easy, wasn't it, John?" Virgil teased. "You're a wiz on the computer."

John shook his head. "It should have been, but our little brother has been hiding his talents. He threw in some of his own ingenious computer modifications. It took me a while to by pass all the roadblocks that he had put up."

Jeff tapped his fingers on the desk. "The conversation that you walked in on was the first time that we were able to establish contact with Alan. I explained that I knew what had happened and that he wasn't in trouble. I wanted him to participate in the debriefing, but he refused."

"You said that you were going to bring him home as soon as you could arrange the flight." Gordon said, rabbitting to a new topic. "Why not now? What are you waiting for?"

"I'm waiting for a pilot for Thunderbird Three." Jeff replied.

Gordon held his arms out. "I'm right here. I can leave in a matter of minutes."

Jeff shook his head. "No, you've already spent many hours on a physically and emotionally rough rescue. You need to get some rest before going out again."

"Well, where's Brains?" Gordon inquired.

"He's getting ready to leave for his conference." Jeff replied. "He is supposed to leave in about an hour and twenty minutes to fly to LA this afternoon to give that speech at the 'Engineering of the Future' conference first thing in the morning. He's not scheduled to be back until tomorrow probably early afternoon."

"Can't you make him stay?" Gordon pressed.

Jeff sighed. "I **could**, but I really don't want to. He's been planning this trip for months. It means so much to him that I just can't justify canceling it to get Alan. I know that he wouldn't say anything if I insisted, but I know he would be hurt. It just wouldn't be fair to him. As much as I want to get Alan home, I can't do that to Brains."

"What about Tin-Tin?" Gordon continued his questioning.

"She's in bed with a bad head cold. The changes in pressure during the flight would be too much for her. Plus she's doped up on cold medicines." Jeff answered. Standing up, he began pacing. "Believe me, Gordon. I've thought of it from all angles. I would go myself, but I don't feel that's a viable option. I may know Three by the book, but I've never flown her by myself. I just don't feel comfortable doing it. The earliest that we can **safely** send up a flight is tomorrow morning. I'm sorry, that is just the way it is."

"If we can't go up to Five because of the 'rest' issue, wouldn't we have the same problem if a rescue call comes in tonight?" Gordon asked.

Jeff sighed. "Yes it will. If a call does come in, I will have to make a tough decision about whether the situation is desperate enough to forego the protocols, but I am really hoping that it will be a quiet night."

Gordon exhaled loudly. "Can I at least talk to Alan?"

Jeff nodded. "If you can get him to talk to you, but I wouldn't get my hopes up too high."

Gordon returned the nod. He had always felt so close to Alan, but at this moment, he felt separated farther emotionally than the physical miles that were separating them.

* * *

The next morning, Alan set his packed bag next to the airlock on Thunderbird Five. He wasn't exactly sure when Brains would be up to relieve him, not for a while yet he was sure. He stared at his bag and wondered why he even bothered. If he followed through with his plan, he wouldn't need his things from Five. Alan thought back over the decision that he made last night. It was the hardest thing that he had ever decided to do, but after talking to his father the night before, he knew that he wouldn't be welcome on the Island anymore. Scott obviously hated him. His actions proved it, and now that he was grounded, it would be even worse. Virgil would probably take Scott's side since they were so close. Plus he knew that Virgil didn't trust him. After all, he had overheard that conversation between Virgil and Gordon. Now Gordon, though, was the one brother who had tried to talk to him the night before.

"Gordon is a good actor." Alan thought to himself. "If I didn't know better, I would've actually bought into his lies." He allowed himself to think about the brief conversation they had the previous night.

"Hi Alan," a subdued Gordon had begun when Alan had answered the call. "I wanted to see how you're doing."

Alan nodded. He wasn't really sure why he had even answered Gordon's call. After the confrontation with Scott, he had sworn to himself that he was through with all of his brothers, but when Gordon had called, his resolve wavered. Maybe it was because it was Gordon. Maybe it was because there was a part of him that desperately wanted to believe that his family still cared about him. Maybe it was because he had some psychological defect that caused him to continually set himself up to be hurt emotionally by his family. Whatever the reason, he had answered the call and now he had to deal with his brother.

Alan answered his brother. "I'm fine."

Gordon sighed. He had hoped for a little more of an answer than that. "Are you sure? It was a hard rescue, and…well, things got a bit out of hand."

"I'm sorry." Alan whispered as he turned away from the monitor.

Gordon tried to lighten his tone. "Hey, Alan, there is nothing for you to be sorry about. We heard the tapes. We know what happened."

Alan shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"It **does** matter." Gordon said a tad bit anxiously. "**YOU** matter Alan."

Alan didn't say anything as he battled his emotions. He wanted so much to believe his brother, but he just couldn't. He gave into his feelings before and look what had happened.

Gordon paused, but when Alan didn't respond, he continued. "Did you know that dad grounded Scott?"

Alan's head jerked back to the monitor. The shock was evident on his face. "Because of the mistake in the address?"

Gordon shook his head. "Actually, dad told him that it wasn't the actual mistake but it was his reaction **to** the mistake that was the reason that he was getting grounded for."

Alan couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Dad grounded Scott because he yelled at me?"

"Well, that and also how he was acting even after he got home." Gordon replied. "He just couldn't let it go, even after dad played the tape proving that he was the one that mixed up the numbers."

"I should have known." Alan thought to himself. "Of course, Scott wouldn't be in trouble for the way he treated me. It was how he treated the others that got him grounded."

Clearing his throat, Alan addressed his brother. "Look, Gordon, I have to go."

"Why? Is there a call coming in?" Gordon asked.

Alan hesitated. "Ah…no…Five is still on auto. All rescue calls will be routed to the Island."

"Then why do you have to go?" Gordon pressed. "If Five is on auto, you're not on duty, so we can talk."

"Well…I…there's…" Alan stammered. He kicked himself for worrying about his brother's feelings when none of them seemed to be concerned about him. He snapped at Gordon. "No! Look, I said that I had to go, and that's what I'm going to do." He moved to disconnect the call.

"Wait!" Gordon called out.

The urgency in Gordon's voice stopped him. Alan just gave him an impatient stare, but didn't say anything.

"Dad wants to talk to you." Gordon told him. "Give me a minute to call him."

Alan refused to speak to Gordon anymore, and the conversation with his father only lasted a few minutes. He told Alan that there would be a personnel change sometime the next day. Alan spent the rest of the night thinking and finally reached a decision. He spent the early morning hours taking care of things since he was never going to be returning to Five again. Now he had nothing to do but wait for his relief, in more ways than one.

Shortly before eleven in the morning, the comm. unit came to life. "Thunderbird Three to Thunderbird Five, are you up for some company?" Gordon's cheery voice came over the speakers.

"Oh great…Gordon." Alan thought although he was surprised that they were there that early. "Now I'll have to put up with his non-stop chatter on the way home." He bit his tongue as he keyed the comm. "This is Thunderbird Five, go ahead Thunderbird Three." He said simply.

"Hey Alan, I have your replacement here." Gordon cheerfully said. "We are about five minutes out. Ya want to put out the welcome mat?"

Alan flipped a button. "Extending docking tube now. I'll be ready when you get here."

"Sure thing Alan. We'll see you in a few minutes." Gordon replied. "I bet you can't wait to get home. It's been quite a while since you've seen the 'green, green grass of home'."

"Whatever, Gordon." Alan disconnected the call before Gordon had a chance to respond. Minutes later he could hear the docking clamps move into position as Thunderbird Three entered the docking tube. He knew it wouldn't take long for Brains to reach the control center. Sure enough, it wasn't long before the door slid open.

"John!?" Alan exclaimed. "But how? I thought Brains was relieving me. Is he all right? I didn't think he had enough time to get back from LA after his speech. He did go to LA didn't he? Did he not want to relieve me? What is going on?"

"Relax, Alan." John said as he pulled Alan into a hug. He could feel the stiffness in his baby brother, but opted not to say anything because he didn't want to embarrass Alan. "Brains is fine. I've been returned to active duty, and I couldn't wait to get back to my bird. So I came instead. Dad called Brains and told him to take his time coming home. Although from what he said, he was already in the air, so he will probably be there by the time you get home."

"More than likely, he couldn't wait to get away from me." Alan thought to himself, but to John, he asked. "But I thought your appointment with Dr. Winter wasn't until later this afternoon?"

John nodded. "Yeah, well I called her office yesterday afternoon and asked if I could get in any earlier because of a 'family emergency'. She said that if I could be at the office ten minutes before they opened this morning, she would squeeze me in before the first patient. So that's what we did, and here I am."

"What about your trip?" Alan questioned.

John flinched at the use of "your" in that question. "It wasn't just 'my' trip. You were supposed to come too."

Alan stared at the floor. "Yeah, well, I guess I just figured that after what happened…oh never mind. I'm sorry." His voice quietly drifted off.

John placed his hands on Alan's shoulders. "Alan, look at me." When Alan met his eyes, John could see the deep pain radiating from them. With a calm but firm voice, he continued. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Yes, there is a lot of emotional turmoil going on right now, but we will work it out. Anyways, we decided to just postpone the trip until things calm down. We'll take it. Just wait and see."

John saw a haunted look pass over Alan's face that he couldn't identify. Deciding to get back on familiar ground, he asked. "So, is there anything going on that I should know about?"

Alan shrugged. "She's still on auto, so I really don't know."

John nodded. "Okay, I'll get her back up and running. You better get going. Gordon can't wait to get you back to the Island. He has all kinds of plans for you two over the next couple of days."

Alan rolled his eyes.

John laughed. "Hey, what can I say? He missed you. We all did."

"Well, I'd better get going then." Alan said as he took in one last look around Thunderbird Five.

John gave Alan another quick hug. "Bye Alan, I'll see you next month."

Alan looked solemnly into John's eyes. "Goodbye, John." With that Alan grabbed his bag and left the control room.

It wasn't long before Thunderbird Three had undocked and headed towards home. John looked around the room. Home…he was finally back home. John adjusted the controls and took Five off of auto. He checked all the monitors. With the exception of a tropical depression out in the South Atlantic Ocean, everything seemed to be normal. John spent the next two hours meandering through Thunderbird Five just enjoying being up there again. He finally stopped in front of the life support monitor and thought about all that had happened in the past few months. Shaking off his melancholy, he said to himself. "That's enough. My eyes are healed. I'm back on my 'Bird. Things can only get better from here." He grabbed his bag and headed towards his sleeping quarters. John set his bag on his bed and opened it. He first removed his toiletries and went to his bathroom to put them away. As he opened the mirrored medicine cabinet, a white envelope fluttered down into the sink. John picked up the envelope. It was addressed to him in Alan's unmistakable handwriting.

John slit the envelope open. "It's probably another apology. I wish I could convince him that I am not angry at him." His eyes widened in horror though as he read the letter. "NO! Oh God, NO!"

John gripped the letter tightly as he ran back to the control center.

* * *

Author's Note - So, Scott got nailed by Dad for his reaction, and he's not real happy about it right now. How long do we think that Scott is going to remain in the dog house? Alan is finally back home. How is his family going to deal with him? And just what was in that letter that has upset John? Was it Alan's resignation? Or just a simple goodbye letter to his brother? Can John get him to change his mind?

We want to thank all those who have reviewed. We had so many last chapter that we were floored. We really are amazed at the response that we have received from this story. We hope that we can continue to live up to your expectations. Thanks again.


	23. Effect

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 23 – Effect

Virgil was sitting at his father's desk. Jeff had gone to Brains' lab for a look at some schematics for a new radio operated camera drone. Thunderbird Three had landed about twenty minutes ago, but Virgil didn't really figure that he would see either of his brothers until dinner. He figured that they had used an alternate exit from the silo to head to all the fun activities that Gordon had planned. The terrible two were together again which was not necessarily a good thing, but after all that had happened in the past months, he was willing to endure them. Virgil leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes as he listened to a concerto piece he had downloaded earlier in the week.

Virgil's eyes snapped open when he heard someone enter the lounge. He was surprised to see Gordon plopping down dejectedly on the couch. "Gordon? What's going on? I thought you had plans for the afternoon with Alan."

Gordon let out a long-suffering sigh. "So did I, but 'Mister Doom and Gloom' didn't. He said that he just wanted to be alone."

"Did something happen on the flight home?" Virgil questioned.

Gordon shook his head. "Not really, he was completely 'professional', but to try to get any other conversation out of him…well, let's just say that pulling toenails from a tiger would have been easier."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Virgil replied sympathetically. "He's probably just tired. After all, he was up on Five for quite a long time. Maybe he just needs a few days at home to…"

The eyes on John's portrait began to flash while at the same time John's panicked voice came over the comm. "Thunderbird Five to Tracy Island come in!"

Virgil and Gordon exchanged worried glances. It was unlike John to panic. Virgil connected the comm. "This is Tracy Island. What's wrong John?"

"Virgil! Do you know where Alan is?" John demanded.

Virgil shook his head. "Not right now. What about you Gordon?"

Gordon moved up next to the desk. "I saw him a few minutes ago heading into the shooting range."

John looked even more panicked. "Oh God, no, Virgil, find him! Find him right now!"

Virgil wasn't sure what was going on, but he could tell by John's demeanor that it was serious. Without answering his brother, he took off running in the direction of the shooting range.

Gordon took his place at the desk. He could see how anxious John was. "Alan may have left the shooting range. Maybe I should go check his room." He volunteered.

"God, I'm not thinking straight." John muttered to himself. "Hang on a minute Gords." John told his brother as he moved his hand over the control panel. "It's okay. I checked for his watch. He's still in the shooting range. Virgil will get him."

Gordon couldn't help but be worried. Quietly, he asked. "John, is something wrong with Alan?"

John hung his head and nervously answered. "I just hope that Virgil finds him before there is."

* * *

Alan sat cross-legged on the floor. In his hand he held a Smith and Wesson revolver. It was an older Model 10 with a four inch barrel. It had actually belonged to his grandfather. It was one of the few things that he had of his grandfather's, so he took extra care of it and kept it in working order. He was also safety conscious about the gun. He knew that accidents could happen if he was careless. Normally, he kept it in a locked box, unloaded and with a trigger lock in place. He also kept the ammunition in a separate locked box. The only time that he took them out was for maintenance and outdoor target practice. Now, he sat in the shooting range contemplating the unthinkable while gently holding the revolver. His grandfather used it the couple of years that he served as a deputy sheriff to supplement the family income after some bad harvests. Alan admired his grandfather. He had always enjoyed visiting the farm when he was a small boy. He also knew that it wasn't easy being a farmer, and it wasn't for everybody. Although grandpa was disappointed when dad decided to leave the farm, he didn't stand in his way. 

A specific conversation with his dad came to Alan's mind. Alan was trying to decide what to do after he graduated from school. He knew that his dad expected him to "do something worthwhile" with his life. Alan wanted to try his hand at racing, but he really didn't think that would fall under his father's definition of "worthwhile".

Jeff sat him down one evening. "You know, Alan." He said. "When I had decided to leave the farm, my father was disappointed. I knew it, and he knew that I knew it. I was afraid that it would irreparably damage our relationship. After all, the farm had been in his family for generations, but I just couldn't see myself spending my entire life there. It just wasn't in me like it was in him. He had a love of the earth…a connection that I never had. Anyways, the night before I left, we were sitting on the front porch together when he handed me an envelope. In it, I found a bank book. When I asked him what it was, he told me. 'Even though I had hoped that you would take over the farm from me, deep down I knew you wouldn't. You don't have a farmer's soul. The money in that account is the money that you gave me from your part time job to help get us through those lean years.' I tried to argue with him that he and mom needed the money. They had had one really good crop, but things were still tight. He just shook his head and told me. 'No, Jeff, it's your time right now. I don't understand a lot of what you want to do, but it's important to you. Take that money and build your dream. Just remember that there will always be a home here for you. Me and your mother are proud of you, son.' I want you to know the same thing. I'll be proud of you no matter what you decide to make as your career, even if I don't understand it. And also remember that no matter where I decide to move, you'll always have a home with me."

Alan came back to reality with a snort of disgust. Speaking out loud to himself, he said. "That didn't last very long. I'm such a disappointment to him. He would never have made that offer if he knew what a dismal failure that I've become."

Alan ran a finger lightly along the barrel of the gun. Suddenly his confidence was failing. Last night on Five, he was so sure that this was what he should do…that he wanted to do. Now, though as he sat with his grandfather's gun in his hand, he just wasn't sure.

"What **are** you thinking?" A voice in his head screamed.

"I'm doing what I have to." Alan answered.

"How can you say that? What you are planning to do is just plain wrong." The voice argued back.

"How can you be so sure?" Alan challenged.

"You know it is. Just think of how hurt your family will be." The voice replied.

"They won't be hurt." Alan scorned. "They will be relieved. They want me gone anyways."

The voice continued. "That's not true. They love you."

"It is true." Alan said starting to get emotional. "I heard Gordon and Virgil talking. Gordon, who I always thought I could count on, said that I should be kicked out of International Rescue because I can't be trusted, but then he went on and told Virgil that I should be forced to leave the family because of what I did to John. That hurt more than anything. Scott obviously doesn't want me around. He's proven that all I'm good for is to be the scapegoat for everything that goes wrong with International Rescue. Even John who is normally the most level headed among us blames me for his accident. He spent six weeks not knowing if he would see or not. I know that he figures that I just got lucky that it turned out all right. He took the shift on Five just to get away from me. Just to prove that they don't want me around, they had that party for John, and didn't even **try** to involve me in any way. I may not have been able to be there in person, but I could've at least spent some time on the vid link. No…they don't love me. They don't want me around."

"What about your father…or Tin-Tin?" The voice continued to press its point.

Alan shook his head. "No, dad doesn't trust me. He felt the need to check the results of the new safety protocol **every day**. He is probably busy trying to figure out a way to get rid of me without ruining his reputation. After all, it wouldn't look good for the great philanthropist, Jefferson Tracy, to have abandoned his youngest child. He could never reveal the true reason why. That would expose International Rescue. As far as Tin-Tin goes, she doesn't think much of me either. She told her father that she wanted to shake some sense into me. She was probably ecstatic when I told her that we shouldn't see each other anymore."

"Are you sure that you aren't misreading your family's actions?" The voice annoyingly questioned.

"No, I'm not." Alan replied indignantly. "I was there! I heard what they said. I've spent the last two months dealing with their attitudes and their hidden accusations."

"What about the vacation?" The voice asked. "Why would they invite you on the trip if they didn't want to be around you?"

Alan shook his head. "Maybe they planned on pushing me off a mountain or drown me in one of the lochs."

"Now you're just being paranoid." The voice cried in outrage. "You can't really believe that you're family intended to **murder** you."

"I don't know what to think anymore." Alan admitted. "I just know that things can't go on this way."

"But this isn't the way." The voice tried to reason. "This is **too** final. You can't change your mind once you follow through."

"I won't change my mind." Alan argued. "The pain will be stopped. That's all I want."

"You only think that." The voice argued back. "But your family will be suffering immense pain because of your actions. Can you truly rest knowing that you are responsible?"

"Why should I care?" Alan replied. "They obviously don't care about my feelings. So why should I worry about them."

"Because you do care." The voice pressed on. "It doesn't matter how badly they've treated you, you worry about them. Just look at how concerned you were when Virgil was injured yesterday. You were even worried about Scott when Thunderbird One malfunctioned last month even though he was angry with you. You can try to deny it, but you know the truth. You're just trying to hide from it."

"Stop it, just stop it!" Alan cried in frustration. "I can't stay here. They don't want me here, not in International Rescue or in this family. I heard them. It's what **they** want. You just don't understand. I have to do this." Alan raised the gun to his temple.

"NO! Wait!" The voice screamed. "If you can't stay **here**, go somewhere else. You could go back to racing. You were very good at it. What about NASA? You completed astronaut training years ago. They would be glad to have you. Another option would be…"

"Shut up!" Alan yelled. "It's not that simple. International Rescue…this Island…my family…they're not just things **in** my life. They **are** my life. I can't just cut them out of my life. I can't **live** without them. It would just be too hard. I can't do it. I don't **want** to do it."

"So, you are just going to take the easy way out." The voice said derisively.

"Easy?" Alan exclaimed. "You think this is easy?"

"Well, you must think so." The voice taunted. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be considering this when there are so many other options available."

Alan paused and thought for a moment. "What did I really think that this would accomplish?"

"That is a very good question." The voice replied. "Do you have an answer?"

Alan slowly lowered the gun. "No, it would only prove to them how unstable I am."

"Why would that matter?" The voice asked. "You said that you didn't care about them."

Alan still had the grip of the gun in his hand with his finger still resting lightly on the trigger, but he did lower his hand to lie in his lap. "No, you're right. I do care about them. I care about what they think of me. That's why this has hurt so much. I've always tried to make them proud of me, but now to find out what they really think of me…to realize what a disappointment I am to them, well, it just seems too much to bear."

"Talk to them." The voice urged. "It is possible that you've misunderstood your family. It is possible that the things that you 'overheard' were not meant the way you took them. Maybe they don't realize how much you have been hurt, or maybe they are unsure of how to reach you. Give them a chance. Things may not be as bad as you think they are."

"What if I talk to them and they are still disappointed in me and want me gone?" Alan questioned.

"Then you move on." The voice answered. "You can make a new life any where. You are a Tracy. You are tough. You are determined. You can do anything that you make up your mind to do."

"You're right." Alan replied. "I **am** a Tracy. Tracys have always faced their problems head on. If my family doesn't want me here, I will go somewhere else and build a life. I will live up to the Tracy name."

"Put the gun away." The voice murmured. "You don't want to risk an accident."

"Yeah, safety…" Alan began but was startled as the door slid open and someone yelled his name. His ears did not even register the gun shot as an unbearable pain flared in his chest. He tried to speak, but it hurt too much to draw a breath. Darkness crowded his mind, and Alan gladly embraced it.

* * *

Author's Note: Grumpy and Convert are officially IN HIDING! 


	24. Shooting

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 24 – Shooting

Virgil ran from the lounge. He took the elevator to the lowest level of the villa where the shooting range was. Whatever had upset John was big. Surely he didn't think that Alan was going to…nah that was impossible. Alan was probably planning on quitting, and John somehow found out about it and wants to talk him out of it. Virgil rushed past Scott on his way down the hallway.

"Hey, Virg, where's the fire?" Scott questioned.

"Can't talk right now." Virgil replied as he continued on his way. "Gotta find Alan."

"Oh fine, what has Alan done now?" Scott thought to himself, but even though he really didn't want to see Alan, his curiosity got the better of him. He followed behind Virgil at what he thought was a safe distance.

Virgil reached the door to the shooting range. He slapped the sensor to open the door. As it slid open, he yelled Alan's name. His heart leaped into his throat as he heard a gunshot almost as soon as the door opened. He rushed in and found Alan lying on the floor with a blood stain spreading over his shirt. "Alan! Oh God, no, NO!" He rushed to his brother's side. He reached out with a trembling hand to feel for a pulse.

Scott had heard the gunshot through the open door. His instincts kicked in, and he ran into the shooting range himself. Within seconds, he was by his brother's side. "What the hell happened?"

"Oh God, Scott, I can't find a pulse!" Virgil exclaimed as he dug his shaking fingers into his brother's neck. "I think he's dead." His voice was choking with emotion.

Scott pushed Virgil's hand away and felt for a pulse himself. He let out a small sigh of relief. "No, he's alive. I found a pulse. It's erratic, but it's still there." Scott ripped open Alan's shirt. "Virgil, grab the emergency kit and call Brains." Scott rolled Alan slightly to check for an exit wound. Not finding one, he rolled Alan back. By then Virgil was back with the emergency kit.

"How's he doing?" Virgil demanded.

Grabbing some bandages out of the kit, Scott applied pressure on the bleeding wound. "I couldn't find an exit wound so the bullet must still be in him. He's bleeding heavily. I wouldn't be surprised if he has internal bleeding. Did you get a hold of Brains?"

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, he's bringing a stretcher."

Scott checked the wound. "Damn it, I can't slow down the bleeding. We can't wait. We have to move him now. If we can't get him some blood soon, we're going to lose him. Get a hold of Brains and let him know that we'll meet him." Scott picked up Alan and headed out the door.

They met up with Brains just outside the elevator. He was maneuvering the stretcher out of the car. Virgil stepped forward to help him, and Scott carefully laid Alan on the stretcher. "I couldn't get the bleeding to stop." He told Brains.

Brains ran a scanner over Alan's chest. "I'm n-n-not surprised. He h-h-has major internal b-b-bleeding. I'm t-t-taking him d-d-directly into s-s-surgery. Your f-f-father can meet m-m-me there." He began to push the stretcher back into the elevator. Virgil helped guide it with his good arm.

"Dad! I forgot about telling him." Scott exclaimed.

"Well, you better tell him." Virgil said. "And let Gordon and John know. John's probably still on the vid link. Somehow he knew Alan was planning this."

"Oh, man," Scott moaned. "We'll be right there." He called as the elevator doors slid closed. He turned and headed back down the hall. There was another elevator that would put him closer to the lounge which he decided to take. He ran into his father though further down the hall. "Dad, I was just coming to get you."

"John was on the comm. when I got back to the lounge." Jeff dived in. "He said that it was imperative that we find Alan."

"We did." Scott replied. "Virgil and Brains are taking him to the sick room." Scott paused for a second. "Dad, he shot himself."

"Oh God, oh God," Jeff groaned. "How bad is it? Is he going to be okay?"

Scott shook his head. "I think it's bad. He was bleeding heavily. Brains said that he has internal injuries, and that he was taking him directly to surgery."

"God, Alan, what have you done?" Jeff muttered to himself. He started down the hall towards the elevator. He stopped and turned to speak to Scott. "Look, I need to get to the sickroom. I need you to let John and Gordon know what's going on. I…you…just…please handle it. I have to go." He then turned back and hurried to the elevator.

Scott turned and headed towards the lounge. His mind was crowded with thoughts on how to break this gently to his brothers. Unfortunately, he couldn't think of a way which he soon realized that he didn't need since his brothers started pounding him with questions as soon as he walked into the lounge.

"Scott, you're here." Gordon spoke first.

"Scott? Have you seen Alan?" John asked.

"My God, Scott, is that blood on your shirt?" Gordon demanded.

"Blood?" John practically shouted. "Who's blood? Is it Alan's?"

Scott sighed. "Yes, it's Alan's blood."

"Damn it," John snapped as he began pacing in front of the control console. "Virgil didn't find him in time. If I had only found the note earlier…"

"What note?" Gordon interrupted.

John sighed and sat back down. "Alan left a suicide note up here on Five."

"Suicide?" Gordon exclaimed in shock. "No, you must have read it wrong. He wouldn't do that. He just wouldn't do it. You **have** to be wrong." He had started to pace flinging his arms as he worked himself into a fit.

Scott gripped Gordon by the shoulders to stop him. "Gordon, I know it's hard to accept, but it is true. Alan **did** shoot himself. I was in the hall. I heard the gunshot."

Gordon shrugged off Scott's hands angrily. "Then why didn't you stop him? Do you really hate him that much?"

Scott responded to Gordon's anger with his own anger. "First off, I had no idea what Alan was planning on doing. I was only in the hall because I noticed how anxious Virgil was and I followed him. Secondly, Virgil had just entered the room when I heard the gunshot. If Virgil couldn't stop him from shooting himself, what makes you think that I could have done anything?"

"I just can't believe that Alan killed himself." Gordon choked out as a tear slid down his cheek.

"Killed?" Scott exclaimed in shock. Pulling Gordon into an embrace, he continued speaking. "I'm sorry. I've really messed this up. He's not dead, or at least not when I left to come here. He was shot in the chest, but Brains is doing everything he can for him. If anyone can pull Alan through, Brains can."

Gordon pushed back from Scott. "So, he's in the sickroom?" Seeing Scott nod, he headed towards the door. "I have to see him."

"Hey, what about me? Someone needs to come get me." John said.

Gordon ignored John as he left the room. Scott turned to the vid screen. "I'm sorry, John. I'll have to talk to dad. I'm not sure when someone can come get you."

"Well, try to make it as quick as you can." John replied. "I want to be home for Alan. I let him down before. I don't want to do it again."

"John, you are not to blame for this." Scott declared adamantly. "Alan made this decision on his own, none of us are responsible."

"Sure we aren't." John replied in disgust. "We all knew that Alan was depressed. He had only isolated himself on Five for over two months, and what do we do? We leave him alone. We let him think that we didn't care. My God, I saw the pain in his eyes before he left here. I should have done something, but I didn't. I just never dreamed that he would do this. Even after I found the note, I had hoped that I was wrong. Man, I can't believe this had happened."

"Listen to me John." Scott ordered. "You can't think like that. This **wasn't** your fault. You can't **read** minds. None of us expected Alan to do this. Don't blame yourself."

John nodded. "Okay Scott, keep me informed of Alan's condition and come get me as soon as possible."

"I will John." Scott replied as he disconnected the comm.

"What's wrong with Alan?" Tin-Tin's voice reached Scott's ears.

Scott looked up and saw Tin-Tin standing just inside the door. "Oh God, how long has she been there?" Scott thought to himself, but to Tin-Tin he said. "Tin-Tin, I thought you were in bed with a cold."

As if affirming that fact, Tin-Tin sneezed into her handkerchief. "I was, but I knew that Alan was coming home today, and I wanted to see him. I was looking for him. I figured that someone in here would know where he's at. What's going on?"

"How much did you overhear?" Scott asked.

Tin-Tin shrugged. "Not much, John was saying to keep him informed of Alan's condition. I didn't set out to eavesdrop, you know. I just couldn't help but overhear when I walked in here. What condition? His depression? Did he resign? Where is he?"

Scott gently led Tin-Tin towards the couch. "Sit down, Tin-Tin. I need to tell you something." He then sat down next to her and stared into his hands. "I'm just not sure how to tell you."

Tin-Tin reached over and covered his hands with one of hers. "Please Scott, you're scaring me. Whatever it is, just tell me."

Scott moved his hands so that they encompassed Tin-Tin's hand. "Tin-Tin…honey…Alan was shot."

Tin-Tin's free hand flew to her mouth to stifle a shocked gasp. "Shot? But how? Who shot him? How badly is he hurt? Please don't tell me that he's dead."

"No, no, he's not dead." Scott quickly assured her. "But it is serious. Brains has to do surgery to stop some internal bleeding."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "I just don't understand this. Shot…how did he get shot?"

Scott cleared his throat. "Tin-Tin, he tried to kill himself."

Tin-Tin stood up abruptly. "No! That's not true. He wouldn't do that. He was planning on quitting International Rescue and leaving the Island, but not this…no, not this." She began to ramble.

Scott grabbed Tin-Tin's arms and forced her to look at him. "Please, honey, I know this is hard to believe, but John found a suicide note that Alan left up on Five. There's no mistake. He tried to end his own life."

"There was a note?" Tin-Tin whispered.

Scott nodded his head. "Yes, there was. I **am** so sorry, but we can't deny what has happened."

Tin-Tin brushed at the tears that began to fall. "I…I have to go. I have to see him. You said that he was in surgery?" She tried to pull herself from Scott's arms but he tightened his grip.

"No, Tin-Tin, you can't see him right now." Scott said.

"Let go of me." Tin-Tin demanded as she struggled harder to break Scott's grip. "I have to see him. I have to let him know that I am here for him."

Scott continued to hold tight. "No, Tin-Tin, think about it. He's been shot, and now he's in surgery. You're sick. If you see him, you will expose him to your cold. In his weakened condition, that could be deadly." Scott hoped that argument would be enough because he really didn't think that Tin-Tin could handle seeing Alan in his condition, but he didn't think that Tin-Tin would take too kindly to him saying that though.

Tin-Tin quit struggling suddenly. She threw herself against Scott's chest, sobbing uncontrollably. "He can't die! I can't lose him! I just can't! I love him too much. What if he dies and I never get the chance to tell him. I couldn't stand it."

Scott gently rubbed her back. "I know, honey. Brains is doing everything in his power to save him. We just have to have faith."

"Tin-Tin nodded but continued to cry into Scott's chest. Scott simply held her until her tears started to lessen.

"Come on, Tin-Tin." Scott said quietly. "Let me help you back to your room. I want you to get some rest. The sooner you get better, the sooner you will get to see Alan. Until that point I will keep you apprised of his condition." Scott gently led Tin-Tin towards her room.

"You must think that I'm such a baby." Tin-Tin sniffed into her handkerchief. "But I'm just so scared."

"You're not being a baby." Scott reassured her. "Believe me, we're all scared."

* * *

Once Scott had Tin-Tin settled in her room, he hurried to the sickroom. He found his father and Gordon pacing around the room. "How is he?" He asked.

"Like you care?" Gordon angrily snapped.

"Gordon," Jeff admonished. "Now is not the time."

"No, I won't be silent. Not this time, Dad." Gordon countered. "We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Scott demanded.

"Gee Scott, I thought I was pretty clear." Gordon replied sarcastically. "You just kept pushing him. At every turn, you made sure that you dug the knife in a little deeper, telling him how immature he is, how irresponsible he is, how he can't be trusted, how every problem that International Rescue encounters was somehow his fault. You kept pushing and pushing him until you finally pushed him over the edge. Congratulations Scott, I hope you're proud of yourself."

"That's enough, Gordon." Jeff tried again. "It doesn't serve any purpose trying to place blame right now. We have other things to deal with, like Alan."

"Tell **him** that." Gordon shouted. "He's so concerned about Alan that he's been who knows where while Alan is battling for his life."

"I was discussing the situation with John and Tin-Tin." Scott defended himself. "After all, someone had to do it. You ran out of the lounge like the hounds of hell were after you…"

"I wanted to get to Alan." Gordon interjected.

"And you don't think that John wants to get to Alan?" Scott retorted. "But he can't can he? He's at least two and a half hours flight time away round trip. And then there's poor Tin-Tin, she's right here, but because she's sick, she can't come see Alan. She's terrified that's he's going to die and she won't be able to tell him that she loves him. Someone needed to be there for them…to comfort them. **That's** what I was doing…taking care of other family members who are hurting too. Do you have a problem with that?"

"I have a problem with you." Gordon snapped. "How do we really know that you were comforting John and Tin-Tin? After all, we thought you were trying to work things through with Alan, but obviously that didn't happen."

"You know, I'm getting a bit tired of your attitude." Scott growled back. "I'm not the only one to blame for this. Why didn't you notice that Alan was in such a depression? You rode back with him. Why didn't you do something to stop him?"

"That is enough." Jeff thundered. "I will have no more arguing about this." Looking over Scott, he continued. "Scott, why don't you take a few minutes and get changed?"

Scott shook his head. "I'll change after we find out about Alan." Shooting Gordon a disguised look, he continued. "I wouldn't want anyone to think that I am putting my comfort over my concerns for Alan."

Gordon opened his mouth to respond to Scott's dig, but Jeff cut him off. "I want you to change now. I don't want your grandmother anymore upset when she gets back here."

Scott looked around and suddenly realized that he hadn't even thought about his grandmother. "Where is she? How much does she know? And where's Virgil?"

"Virgil is helping Brains with the surgery." Jeff began.

Scott cut him off. "Can he do that with his injured arm?"

Jeff shook his head slightly and continued. "Well, he's doing it. Anyways, once Brains began the surgery, I called your grandmother down here and explained what little I knew. She left a little bit ago to go to the kitchen to fix some tea, and if I know my mother, she will also bring some food."

"I'm sure you're right." Scott answered. "Why does she do that?"

"Do what?" Gordon asked in confusion.

"Cook when there is a crisis." Scott replied.

"I'm not sure," Jeff answered. "But I think that it gives her something to do…to make her feel useful. She's done it for as long as I can remember."

Scott nodded. "Okay, for Grandma's sake, I'll go change. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Ten minutes later, Scott returned and found that his grandmother had returned.

"Scott, you're back." Grandma said when she saw him. "Come and have some tea. I also have some fruit and cheese slices. I also brought the banana bread that I baked yesterday with three different flavors of cream cheese to spread it with."

"I'm not really hungry, Grandma." Scott replied. "But the tea sounds good." He accepted the cup that she had poured for him with a simple "Thank you." Not wanting to upset his grandmother any further, he kept his distance from Gordon.

Finally after another hour and fifteen minutes, Brains came out to where the family was waiting while Virgil stayed at Alan's bed side to monitor him. He was immediately bombarded by questions.

"Brains, how's Alan?"

"How did the surgery go?"

"How much damage was there?"

"What are his chances?"

"When can we see him?"

Brains held up his hands to silence the group. "S-s-slow down, and I'll ex-ex-explain." Once the group was quiet, he began to explain. "F-f-first off, the damage is g-g-going to sound b-b-bad, but it could have b-b-been much worse."

The Tracys all exchanged worried looks. Jeff cleared his throat. "Please Brains, just tell me how Alan is. Is he going to be okay? What are his chances? Please, I need to know."

Brains nodded and began to explain. "The b-b-bullet entered Alan's b-b-body about n-n-nine centimeters off c-c-center and about f-f-four centimeters below the rib c-c-cage. Right about h-h-here." Brains showed them visually by pointing to an area on his own trunk. "The bullet t-t-traveled on an upward but sh-sh-shallow path until it h-h-hit a bottom r-r-rib near the sternum. It then r-r-ricocheted inward. It n-n-nicked his aorta and then t-t-tore through the right l-l-lung and eventually l-l-lodged in the Latissimus D-Dorsi muscle, which is h-h-here." Brains pointed to a muscle area of his back.

"The aorta? That's dangerous, isn't it?" Scott demanded.

"It c-c-can be." Brains answered. "D-d-depending on how b-b-badly the aorta is d-d-damaged. Alan w-w-was lucky in that c-c-case. The t-t-tear caused by the b-b-bullet was small, and easily r-r-repaired. The main d-d-damage was to the l-l-lung. Obviously, s-s-since the bullet went th-th-through the lung, he d-d-developed a hemothorax and I h-h-h-had to put in a chest t-t-tube. I was able to r-r-remove the bullet and stop the b-b-bleeding."

"So, he's going to be okay?" Gordon said in relief.

Brains shook his head slightly. "H-h-he's not out of the w-w-woods yet. The next t-t-twenty four hours will be cr-cr-critical. Right n-n-now he is on a v-v-ventilator, and I intend to k-k-keep s-s-sedated during that t-t-time. He w-w-will be more c-c-comfortable and that w-w-will give his b-body a b-b-better chance to r-r-rest and heal."

Jeff blew out a deep breath. "So, what are his chances?"

Brains spoke. "E-e-even though he is c-c-critical, he is also s-s-stable. So b-b-baring any c-c-complications, his prognosis is g-g-good."

"Complications?" Scott asked. "You mean like an infection or something?"

Brains nodded. "In-in-infection is the b-b-biggest obstacle he is f-f-facing at the m-m-moment, but I will d-d-do everything I c-c-can to make sure that d-d-doesn't happen. Now I sh-sh-should get back to A-A-Alan."

"Thank you Brains." Jeff said as Brains left the room.

Grandma stood up and said. "Well, I think that I will head to the kitchen and make that young man a special dinner as a thank you for saving Alan's life."

"That's a good idea, mother." Jeff said and gave his mother a small kiss.

"I'll let you know when dinner is ready." His mother replied as she left the room.

Turning to his sons, Jeff continued. "Okay, I've made a decision. I am shutting down International Rescue until further notice."

"But, Dad…" Scott began to argue.

"No, I've made this decision." Jeff cut him off. "Things are falling apart all around us. We can't keep everything going. It's tearing us apart."

"What about the people who have no where else to turn?" Scott asked.

Jeff shook his head. "I'm sorry, but we won't be any good on rescue calls the way we are. We are too emotionally distressed right now. I'll make up a simple press release and have it distributed right away. Now, someone needs to go get John."

"I'll go." Both Scott and Gordon volunteered at the same time.

Jeff rolled his eyes. "Well, it's obvious from your earlier actions that I can't send the two of you together. I'm just not sure who to send. Gordon has already made one trip up there today, but technically Scott is still grounded."

"Well, if you shut down International Rescue, then I'm not grounded any more, am I?" Scott challenged.

Jeff shook his head. "It wasn't just about International Rescue. It is a matter of trust, and I'm still not sure that I can trust you."

"Oh come on, Dad." Scott yelled in exasperation. "This isn't right. You grounded me because of how I treated Alan, but doesn't his action today prove that I was right not to trust him. I mean come on, what do you need? It chiseled in stone?" Acting out a chiseling motion, he continued sarcastically. "Alan is unstable. Do **not** trust him."

Anger flashed in Jeff's eyes. "Thank you, Scott, for helping make my decision." Turning towards Gordon, he said. "Gordon, you're going up to get John."

"But Dad…" Scott started to argue but stopped when he saw the fiery look that his father gave him.

Continuing to speak to Gordon, he said. "I'm going to fly with you. Go ahead and start the pre-flight checks while I send out the press release. I'll meet you in Thunderbird Three when I'm finished."

"Sure thing, Dad." Gordon replied as he left the room.

Jeff turned back to Scott. "And you…you had better get your attitude straightened out before I get back, or else." He then left the room and headed to the lounge to send off the press release.

Scott shook his head and stormed off to the beach. He couldn't believe that his dad was treating him this way. He thought about running, but he wasn't dressed for it. He needed to do something to work off this nervous energy that he was feeling overwhelmed by. He felt the ground rumble slightly as Thunderbird Three powered up. A few moments later, Scott saw her rise through the round house on her way to Thunderbird Five. Scott slipped his shoes off and began to walk along the shoreline allowing the waves to gently lap at his feet. He forced himself to take several deep breaths to calm himself. He thought back to the accusations that Gordon had made in the sickroom. Okay, so he had been hard on Alan about John's accident, but he did apologize even though he hadn't been entirely wrong. Granted he did blame Alan for his mistake, but he was being punished for that. Besides, neither of these incidences warranted such a drastic action as suicide. "No, Gordon had to be wrong. If Alan was upset about the address mix-up, he could have just yelled at me, or better yet, rubbed it in that I was grounded." Scott rationalized. "It's not **my** fault. It can't be."

An hour later, Scott entered the sickroom. He had tried to find answers on his walk but had come up empty. His brain was trying to convince himself that he wasn't responsible, but his heart refused to believe it. Scott felt frustrated yet emotionally drained. The only thing that he was sure of was that he needed to see his baby brother. When he entered the room, the only other person in the room besides Alan was their grandmother. She sat in a chair next to Alan's bed quietly knitting.

"Hello, Grandma," Scott said as he leaned down and gave his grandmother a kiss on the cheek. "How's he doing? Any change?"

Grandma shook her head. "No, but according to Brains, that is a good thing."

Scott nodded. "Speaking of…where is Brains? Or Virgil for that matter."

"Brains is in his office." Grandma replied. "And Virgil…well, he went to take care of a 'personal' issue."

Scott smirked at his grandmother's description. Most people thought of his grandmother as being "down to earth", but in this one area, she was very "proper". She refused to say that anyone was using the bathroom. Besides "personal issue", she would also use phrases like "indisposed", "use the lavatory", "in the powder room", (although she usually only used that in reference to women) or would simply state that the person "would be back shortly" without more elaboration.

Scott nodded. "I see." He glanced nervously around the room. Clearing his throat, he asked. "Do you think that I could have a few minutes alone with Alan, Grandma?"

Grandma gave Scott a doubtful look. "I don't know, Scott. I'm not sure if that is a good idea."

"It'll be okay, Grandma. I promise." Scott assured her.

Grandma sighed and stood up. "I guess we could do with a fresh pot of tea, but I won't be gone long."

"Thanks Grandma." Scott said as she left the room. He then sat down in her vacated seat. Running a hand over his face, he began speaking to Alan. "You know what? I'm not sure what to say to you. I can't believe that this is happening. I can't believe that you did this. Do you realize how much pain that you are putting this family through? I thought you were stronger than this. Sure, I might have said something that had hurt your feelings, but suicide? What were you thinking? How could you do this to us?"

"How can you ask that?" Virgil's voice came from behind him.

"Virgil," Scott replied with a bit of annoyance. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Obviously," Virgil remarked snottily. "Sorry to interrupt your little 'heart-to-heart' talk."

Scott turned to look at Virgil. "So, you blame me too."

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, Scott. You're not normally this dense. What did you really expect?"

"I expected my family to look at this objectively." Scott said hotly. "This isn't my fault. Why does everyone keep blaming me for this?"

"I can't believe that you actually just said that." Virgil snapped.

Scott stood up and began pacing. "Think about it Virg. If he was upset at me, he would have just yelled at me, that's more his style, especially since I've been grounded. He would have known that dad at least was on his side. You know that's true. There's go to be more to this than just him being upset because I yelled at him."

"Who are you trying to convince?" Virgil asked sarcastically. "Me? Or yourself?"

"What?" Scott responded.

"You're rationalizing Scott." Virgil replied.

"I am not." Scott said indignantly.

"Well, then let me spell it out for you." Virgil sneered. "You were the one who kept pushing Alan. First, you blamed him for John's accident."

"And I apologized to him for that." Scott interrupted.

"Oh sure, after how long?" Virgil demanded. "It was weeks, Scott. You don't think that ate at him? We all knew that something was bothering him since he was isolating himself. But what did you do? Did you reach out to him or encourage him in any way? No, you didn't. As a matter of fact, the next time that something went wrong, you laid it at Alan's feet. You made sure that he knew that **you** thought that he was immature, irresponsible, and untrustworthy. Plus it was **your** fault to boot. You don't think that drove him further to the edge?"

"And I'm being punished for blaming him." Scott snapped. "Why does everyone seem to forget that?"

"And why do you keep making this about you?" Virgil scoffed.

"**I'm** not making it about me." Scott objected. "It's **you** guys who keep trying to force this on me."

Virgil rolled his eyes. "It's because you refuse to take responsibility for your actions."

Scott threw his hands up in frustration. "All right, fine. I'll admit that I treated Alan badly, but I didn't put the gun in his hand. It was his decision to try to commit suicide. So how about we hold Alan responsible for his actions for once. He obviously didn't care about anybody else when he made this decision."

"Now what are you talking about?" Virgil huffed.

"Did he even consider how this would affect the family?" Scott demanded. "I don't think so."

"How would you know how this is affecting the family?" Virgil taunted.

"I have **eyes**." Scott replied indignantly. "Dad's so worried that he can't think straight. You and Gordon are so desperate to find someone to blame that you are pointing fingers in every direction other than where it really belongs…with Alan."

"Here we go again." Virgil shook his head in disgust. "When are you going to realize that he did this because he was hurting badly?"

"So that makes it okay to hurt the people who love him?" Scott snapped. "That **is** what he's done. John is wracked with guilt for not finding the note earlier. Tin-Tin is sure that he is going to die. Grandma is trying to keep herself busy whether it's by feeding us or just knitting. Although I wonder how much of her knitting she will have to tear out later."

"What about you Scott? How are you feeling?" Virgil wanted to know. "Do you want him to get better? Or do you wish that he had finished the job?"

"How dare you say that?" Scott growled. "How dare you even **imply** that? There's only one person in this room that wants Alan dead, and that's Alan. He's the one who made this choice. Maybe we should give him his wish and turn off the vent."

The words were barely out of Scott's mouth when an alarm began shrieking. Scott's and Virgil's eyes flew to the monitors.

"**NO**!" Scott yelled as his heart leapt into his throat.

Alan's cardiac monitor showed a flat line.

* * *

Author's Note - Still in hiding. (And yes, we know that Scott is a beast. Don't kill us.) 


	25. Revelations

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 25 – Revelations

At the sound of the alarm, Brains hurried to Alan's bed side. He grabbed a scanner and began to examine him.

"Brains, do something!" Scott yelled. "His heart has stopped! Help him!"

Brains pushed by him. "You n-n-need to l-l-let me w-w-work."

Scott stood at the end of the bed. He anxiously pleaded with his brother. "Fight, Alan! Please I didn't mean anything I said. I really didn't. I love you Allie. Don't leave us."

"I n-n-need the s-s-surgical equipment n-n-now!" Brains told Virgil.

"Surgery?" Scott questioned while Virgil quickly grabbed the equipment. "Now? Here? Shouldn't we move him to the operating room?"

Brains grabbed a scalpel and told Scott. "There's n-n-no time. Please l-l-leave."

Just then Grandma re-entered the sickroom. She took in the furious activity that was going on and asked. "My God, what happened?"

"His heart stopped!" Scott said as tears began to fall from his eyes. "Virgil and I were talking, and the alarm just began to sound…and he…Brains…his heart…" Scott was suddenly at a loss for words.

Virgil looked up from where he was helping Brains. "Grandma, can you get him out of here? Brains needs to be able to concentrate."

Grandma pulled on Scott's arm. "Come on, sweetie. Let's leave them so they can work on Alan."

Scott looked first at his grandmother and then to Alan. Looking back at his grandmother, he nodded and headed towards the door. Before exiting the room, he turned and spoke through his choked emotions to his baby brother. "You hang in there, Allie. You hear me? We need you. **I** need you. I love you Allie…I love you."

Once outside the door, Scott gave into his emotions. He leaned against the wall and buried his face in his hands and sobbed. Grandma gently laid a hand on Scott's arm. "It's going to be all right. You'll see. Alan is strong."

Scott wiped at his tears. "You don't understand. This is all my fault."

Grandma pulled Scott into a hug. "Oh no, Scott. You can't think like that. This wasn't your fault. I don't know what drove Alan to do what he did…"

Scott pushed his grandmother away slightly. "**I** drove him to it. It was me…all me. God, what was I thinking?"

"Scott…" Grandma tried to speak.

Scott shook his head as he interrupted his grandmother. "No…I treated him horribly." More tears began to fall. "Virg was right. I was rationalizing. I can't deny it anymore."

"Scott, I'm not sure that I understand." Grandma said. "Rationalizing? Deny what?"

"You're not listening." Scott said in frustration as he tried to wipe away the new tears.

"Well, I'm trying, Scott." Grandma began. "But you're not making much sense right now."

"I'm making perfect sense." Scott replied as he leaned back against the wall. "For the first time in months, I'm finally thinking straight. **I** treated Alan horribly. I blamed him for things that were never his fault. I called him immature and irresponsible. I made sure that he knew that I didn't trust him. I kept pushing and pushing him until I pushed him over the edge." Scott let out a snort of disgust and continued. "And then what do I do? I come up with a hundred and one excuses why it couldn't be my fault. I tried to convince anyone and everyone that I couldn't possibly be to blame. I put the blame on Alan. I tried to convince people that this suicide attempt was just a result of his instability. I even went as far as telling Virgil that we should give Alan his wish and turn off the vent and let him die."

Grandma's hand instinctively flew to her chest in shock. "Oh, Scott, you didn't."

Scott hung his head in shame. "I did, and that's when he flat lined." Scott met his grandmother's gaze. The anguish vividly displayed in his eyes. "He heard me Grandma. He heard me say that we should let him die." Again he choked on his words. "It was the last thing that he heard. It's the last thing that he will ever hear."

"No, it's not." Grandma said while grasping Scott's face between her hands forcing him to look at her. "He's not dead yet. You have to have faith. Brains and Virgil are working very hard to keep him alive."

Scott pulled his grandmother into a tight hug and leaned down a bit to bury his face in her shoulder. "I'm sorry…so sorry. I just want a chance to tell Alan that."

Grandma gently rubbed Scott's back. "You will, dear. You will. You have to believe that…and a prayer wouldn't hurt either."

Scott pulled back and wiped his eyes. "I have to tell Tin-Tin. I promised her that I would keep her informed. I'm just not sure how she will take this. She wanted to see him earlier, but because of her cold…"

Grandma patted Scott's cheek. "You stay here, Scott. I'll go and talk to Tin-Tin."

"But what about Alan?" Scott said. "Don't you want to stay here…just in case?"

"There won't be a 'just in case'." Grandma answered. "I know it. You need to know it too. I'll be back in a few minutes with Tin-Tin."

"Thanks, Grandma." Scott replied.

"Just remember, keep thinking positively. It's all we can do right now." Grandma said as she turned and headed away from the sickroom.

Scott nodded at his grandmother's retreating back. "I hope you're right. It's the **least** that I can do after what I did." He whispered even though he knew that she couldn't hear him.

Scott leaned against the wall. He tried to think positively; unfortunately angry voices began to crowd his mind.

"You were the one who kept pushing Alan." Virgil's voice rang out.

Gordon's voice added in. "At every turn, you made sure that you dug the knife in a little deeper."

Next Scott heard his father's voice. "You had better get your attitude straightened out…or else."

Scott's own voice floated through his mind. "Alan is unstable. Do **not** trust him."

Scott buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

"Like you care." Gordon's earlier comment taunted.

"I'm still not sure that I can trust you." Jeff's voice echoed in Scott's mind.

Virgil's voice demanded. "Do you wish that he had finished the job?"

Scott slowly slid down the wall. "No…I didn't mean it like that."

"You **wish**" The voice taunted again.

Scott's slide stopped when he hit the floor. "No! I don't wish. I never wished it!"

"He had **finished** the job" The voice continued.

"No! I would never want that." Scott argued. "He's my baby brother."

"Finished the **job**!" The voice repeated.

Tears began to fall again from Scott's eyes. "I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen. Please God…I am so sorry. I love Alan. Please save him…please."

Scott rested his forehead on his bent knees and wrapped his arms around the back of his head. Deep, heart-wrenching sobs escaped his throat. His grief so consumed him that all rational thoughts left him.

* * *

Alan blinked against the bright white light that was suddenly assailing his eyes. He looked around in confusion. He couldn't figure our where he was. The last thing he remembered was being in the shooting range. "How did I get here? More importantly, where is here?" He asked himself. He struggled to recall what had happened. He remembered arguing with himself about committing suicide. "But I had decided against that, didn't I?" His mind questioned. He vaguely remembered being startled by someone calling his name. "You must have accidentally pulled the trigger when you were startled." His mind reasoned. "Am I dead?" He asked himself.

"No, my son, you're not." A voice answered him.

Alan spun around and quickly spotted the source of the voice. His jaw dropped open. His eyes beheld a woman who he only knew through photographs. "Mom?" He whispered.

"Yes, Alan, it's me." Lucy said reaching out and gently stroking his cheek.

"Then I am dead." Alan stated slightly disappointed.

"No, sweetie, not yet." His mother replied.

"I don't understand." Alan said. "You're dead. So if you're here, then I must be dead. Isn't that right?"

Lucy smiled. "It's complicated. You're at a place of decision. You're not dead…at least not yet. The choice is up to you."

Alan shook his head. "I don't know if I can, Mom. I'm just so confused."

Lucy sat down on a small white couch that had seemed to appear out of nowhere. She patted the seat next to her. "Sit…talk to me, Alan."

Alan sighed as he sat down. He hung his head and ashamedly admitted. "Mom…I was going to kill myself."

Lucy covered one of Alan's hands with one of her own. With the other hand, she gently pushed a stray lock of hair away from his face. "I know. I also know that you had changed your mind about it. You're stronger than your fears. You just had to realize that for yourself, which you did."

Alan gave his mother a confused look. "How could you know?"

Lucy gently stroked Alan's cheek. "My body may be gone, but my spirit has been with you always. I've been with everyone that I love."

Alan blinked rapidly as tears filled his eyes. "So you know what has been going on?" He asked quietly.

"Yes, I do sweetheart." His mother replied.

"So you know that the rest of them would rather have me gone?" Alan asked as a hint of anger crept into his voice.

"I know how much you have been hurt." Lucy answered. "Out of all my boys, you are the one who has always felt things the deepest."

Alan raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Me? I think you have me confused with John. He's the most compassionate of us, or Virgil, he has an 'artist's' soul."

Lucy shook her head. "No, I know what I am talking about. You feel things very deeply, but for what you thought was emotional protection, you have learned how to bury your feelings. You can fool most people with your bravado, but not me. I know better. I also know how you have misunderstood most of the hurtful things that you heard."

"Mom, I know what I heard." Alan began to argue.

Lucy patted Alan's thigh. "If you would be willing to listen, I could show you things that may put your conceptions in a different light."

Alan simply nodded and a scene began to play in front of him. At first it was a little disconcerting. It wasn't like watching a movie, but it wasn't like a dream either. It was more like an out-of-body experience which was pretty ironic that Alan thought of it that way since that was exactly what he was experiencing. Alan saw Virgil and Gordon talking in the storeroom. He knew what he was about to see, but he didn't try to stop it. He wasn't even sure that he could if he wanted to.

Alan heard Virgil ask. _"How are you feeling about Alan right now?"_

_"What do you mean?"_ was Gordon's reply.

Alan seethed a bit as he heard Virgil explain. _"Are you angry with him? Or are you willing to forgive his 'forgetfulness'?"_ Alan knew where this conversation was going. He only paid half attention to the conversation. _"Is this 'remorseful' attitude that he has adopted because he is really sorry for what he's done or because he knows that he's screwed up and trying to save his butt?"_

The anger was evident in Gordon's response. _"Now you just wait one minute. Alan made a mistake, and he knows it. He knows what could have happened and it is eating him alive. There is __**no way**__ that you can convince me that his despondent mood since finding John is some sort of act to get out of trouble." _Alan suddenly paid closer attention and was shocked to hear Gordon defending him. The conversation continued on to the point that he had overheard.

Gordon questioned Virgil. _"So how should we handle this? Alan screwed up 'like always'. So we better kick him out of International Rescue since we obviously can't trust him. It's more than that though, isn't it? Now it involves an injured brother. We can't forgive Alan for that, now can we? Because that would be choosing Alan over John, and that wouldn't be right. So we better pack him up and force him to leave the Island because we certainly can't have him as part of this family, not after what he's done."_

As that scene slowly faded away, realization dawned on Alan. "Sarcasm…he was being sarcastic towards Virgil, not angry at me."

Lucy nodded. "Yes, Gordon was trying to defend you."

"But when I asked him in Thunderbird Three if he believed me, he said he didn't know." Alan countered.

"You're brother was confused at the time." Lucy explained. "He was being overwhelmed by so many emotions. Once he was able to sort through them, he knew better. He wanted to tell you in the sickroom, but you left abruptly, and he didn't want to push you."

Alan shook his head. "Too bad my other brothers didn't reach the same conclusion."

"Virgil did." Lucy informed him. "When he saw you collapsed outside the storeroom, he knew better."

Another scene began to play out in front of him. His three brothers were in the sickroom. Gordon was once again angrily standing up to his brothers. _"So do you still think that he is just acting? My God, he is so upset that he is literally making himself sick."_

Alan was surprised when he heard Virgil acquiesced. _"You're right. I'm sorry that I doubted him."_

Alan watched as the scene continued and his brothers argued about him.

Gordon angrily demanded. _"Shut up Scott! You're as bad as Virgil."_

_"Shut up? How __**dare**__ you tell me to shut up?"_ Scott snapped at his younger brother.

_"I __**dare**__ because you two are ready to crucify Alan." _Gordon defended Alan. _"If he won't stand up for himself, I will. I won't let you hurt him in your desire for vengeance."_

Alan's eyes widened as his brother's argument escalated into a fist fight. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Virgil and Brains pulled the two fighting brothers apart. Suddenly, there were two brothers defending him against Scott. He had spent the past couple of months believing that everyone was against him, but now…he could see that he had read the situation wrong.

"Do you see, Alan?" Lucy asked. "Your brothers do care about you. The things that you based your conceptions on were taken out of context."

Alan sighed. "Okay, so I might have been wrong about Gordon and Virgil, but what about the rest of them? Dad, Scott, John or Tin-Tin? Did I misunderstand them? All of them?"

"You did misunderstand Tin-Tin." His mother answered. "And because of that, she was very confused and hurt when you told her that the two of you shouldn't see each other anymore."

Alan's stomach began to twist in knots. "I never meant to hurt her. I really thought that's what she wanted. Are you sure?"

In answer to his question, a new scene began to play in front of him. Tin-Tin was sitting at the kitchen table dejectedly.

Kyrano entered the room and took in his daughter's countenance. _"You appear distressed daughter. Do you wish to speak about it?"_

_"It's Alan." _Tin-Tin sighed. _"No, I take that back. It's me."_

_"Can you explain to me?" _Kyrano asked.

Tin-Tin picked at some imaginary lint on her sleeve_. "I ran into Alan earlier. I could tell that he was upset about what had happened. I know he's blaming himself. I wanted to help, but he just blew me off. It frustrated me…no, it was more than frustration. I grew angry at him, and now I'm disappointed in myself for allowing it."_

_"You are human, my child."_ Kyrano responded_. "We all have times of uncomfortable emotions. It is a part of life. No matter how hard you try, you cannot stop them. It is you reaction to them that is the measure of your metal. The ability to acknowledge the emotions and recognize the causes and then to move on demonstrates the capability of growing beyond our emotional boundaries. Yet if you allow those emotions to fester and grow, it will only cause your soul to wither and die."_

Tin-Tin gave her father a wan smile. _"It is hard Father. I wish that I had never mentioned going to that conference. Then Alan would have remained on Five, and I'm sure that he would have remembered the monitor before it blew up. Then Alan wouldn't be feeling guilty, and I wouldn't be feeling guilty about being angry at him."_

_"You cannot change what has happened, my daughter."_ Kyrano said.

_"I don't want to be angry with Alan." _Tin-Tin replied. _"But at times like this I just want to grab him and shake some sense into him."_

_"I understand your feelings Tin-Tin." _Kyrano answered her. _"But you cannot change Mr. Alan. We are all responsible for our own actions."_

Alan shook his head. "So, she was upset because I shut her out, not because she thought I was responsible for John's accident."

Lucy nodded. "So are you finally realizing how your own guilt twisted the conversations that you overheard?"

Alan's mind was in a whirl. "What about John? I didn't overhear that conversation. He told me straight out that he blamed me for the accident."

Lucy sighed as she intertwined her fingers with Alan's. "John was speaking out of intense fear. He didn't mean the things that he said, and you weren't the only one he took his frustration out on."

The next scene to play out was between Jeff and John. Jeff was speaking. _"You were saying some pretty awful things to him a moment ago. Do you really feel that way? At the hospital, you were standing up against Scott in favor of Alan. Has that changed? Do you blame Alan for your injuries?"_

The frustration was evident in John's voice. _"Yes…no…I don't know. I'm just so frustrated. I don't know what I am feeling anymore. I am just so confused. When I heard his voice, I just kind of lost it. I guess maybe there is a part of me that does blame him; otherwise I wouldn't have said those things. Those feelings had to have come from somewhere."_

Jeff gripped John's shoulder. _"I can understand your frustration. I know that…"_

John began to yell angrily. _"You know? How can you say that? Have you ever been blind? I don't __**think**__ so. So don't tell me that you know how I am feeling. You don't know anything. You have __**no idea**__ what I'm going through!"_

_"But I do." _Gordon appeared as he joined the conversation.

The scene continued to play but Alan was focused on what he had just heard. First was the fact that his dad was questioning **John** about the argument. He had just assumed that his dad had blamed him for upsetting John, but now that assumption like so many of his others was crumbling.

"He didn't blame me." Alan whispered to himself.

Lucy heard him though. "Who didn't blame you?" She asked trying to see where he was going in his thinking.

"Dad," Alan replied. "I just assumed that he blamed me for upsetting John. I never thought that he…" His voice just trailed off as he spoke.

Lucy smiled slightly. "No, he never blamed you. He loves you, Alan."

"But he doesn't trust me." Alan said sadly.

The smile slid from Lucy's face. "What makes you say that?"

"Because he wanted to double check the safety report everyday." Alan explained. "He didn't trust me enough to believe that I would report any problems."

Lucy rubbed her son's back. "Alan, please believe me. It wasn't a lack of trust in you that caused him to request that of you. It was his own sense of guilt that drove…"

"Guilt?" Alan interrupted. "Guilt over what?"

Lucy sighed. "Your father knows that there is danger every time you boys go out on a rescue. But what happened to John…well, that was a result of a worn out part that could no longer handle its job. Your father feels responsible for not thinking ahead and replacing the worn parts before they caused a problem. He wanted to make certain for himself that he wasn't putting his sons in danger again by neglecting repairs."

Alan had been so wrapped up in his own guilt and hurt that he hadn't really thought about the others feeling the same way. His mind was in a whirl. His mother had given him a lot to think about, and he wasn't sure how to respond. So instead he turned his attention back to the scene that had continued to play in front of him.

John sighed. _"I'm just so tired. I'm tired of trying to fight my fears. I don't want to let it beat me. Really I don't, but it is. I can't stop it. I just don't feel like I have any fight left in me. I just don't know what to do anymore."_

Alan watched as Gordon pulled John into an embrace. _"You don't have to fight it alone. You can lean on us. Lean on me. I'll be here for you."_ John crumpled against Gordon and sobbed.

Alan stared at his hands. "Everyone has been hurting, and I was too wrapped up in myself that I didn't even notice. How could I **not** notice?"

"The same way that your brothers didn't realize how badly you where feeling." Lucy answered. "It's part of human nature. Your emotions blinded you to the emotions around you."

"But I should have known." Alan replied. "Especially John, I should have been aware of his feelings. I **should** have known better. I…"

"Alan, you can't beat yourself up about this." Lucy interrupted. "That is part of what is tearing this family apart."

Alan ran a hand over his face. "I suppose you're now going to show me how I misunderstood Scott too."

Lucy shook her head. "Actually…no, I wasn't."

Alan looked at his mother in confusion. "So are you saying that Scott meant all the things that he said to me?"

Lucy sighed. "Your brother is battling demons of his own."

"Like what?" Alan asked.

Lucy shook her head. "I'm sorry. I can only reveal what pertains to you directly."

"But obviously whatever Scott is dealing with does affect me if it is causing him to treat me this way." Alan argued. "I think I have a right to know."

Lucy once again took Alan's hands in her own. "Just know that what Scott has done stems from his love for you…his concern for all his brothers." Alan opened his mouth to say something, but Lucy held up a hand to ward off his argument. "Your brother feels the responsibility of command keenly. He worries constantly how his decisions are going to affect the team…his brothers."

"So he used me as a scapegoat to circumvent his worries." Alan surmised.

Lucy shook her head. "He's not consciously using you as a scapegoat. He knows he's treated you unfairly and it's eating him up."

Alan gave his mother a small smile. "And I suppose you know that for a fact."

Lucy returned the smile. "I thought you'd never ask."

Another scene began to play. This time it was Scott and Kyrano who were speaking about the accident.

_"I was terrified."_ Scott admitted. _"The idea of losing a brother…I just…I felt sick. I was so afraid of what we would find up on Five."_

_"Your brothers have been injured in the past…almost killed."_ Kyrano observed.

Scott nodded. _"And I've been scared to death each time. The idea of losing another family member…"_

Alan's mind wandered away from the scene. "Scott…scared? I don't believe it. He always seems so in control in the face of danger." He recalled some of the times that someone got hurt on rescues. When Virgil was shot by the Sentinel, Scott kept his head and talked him back to the Island. When he and grandma were stuck on that bridge with the bomb, both Scott and Virgil pushed aside their emotional involvement to coordinate an effective rescue. He even kept his head after being shot down in the dessert and attacked by some crazed archeologist in a pyramid. This just didn't seem like a guy who gave in to his fears. His attention was drawn back to the scene by the mention of his name.

Scott was speaking. _"I'm angry at the person responsible for hurting John which is Alan, but that hurts Alan. So then I'm angry at the person who is hurting Alan which is me. So now I'm in a vicious circle. I'm mad at Alan for hurting John, but I'm mad at myself for hurting Alan. I guess I just don't know how to get over being angry at myself."_

"Well, I guess he got past that, now didn't he?" Alan asked sarcastically.

"Are you so sure?" Lucy asked.

Alan gave his mom a wary look. "Do I really want to know?"

The scene instantly changed again. This time it was Scott alone in the hallway near the sickroom. He was slowly sliding down the wall talking to himself. _"No…I didn't mean it like that. No! I don't wish. I never wished! No! I would never want that. He's my baby brother. I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen. Please God…I am so sorry. I love Alan. Please save him…please."_

Alan was shocked as Scott dissolved into heart wrenching sobs. "Mom…when was this?" He asked quietly.

"It is right now." Lucy said. "As your body is lying in the sickroom…hovering between life and death…as Brains and Virgil are fighting to keep you with them…Scott is begging for your life."

"So, you're here because Scott is praying?" Alan challenged.

Again Lucy pushed a stray lock of hair back. "No, I'm here to help you. A decision has to be made, one that only you can make."

Alan shook his head. "I don't know if I can."

"You must, Alan." His mother replied. "You cannot remain in this limbo."

"I'm not sure that I want to go back." Alan admitted. "There was a lot of hurt going on."

"But you've seen how most of it was a misunderstanding." Lucy replied.

"That only makes it worse." Alan said.

"How so?" Lucy questioned.

Alan looked his mother in the eyes, fear and uncertainty shining from his. "How can I ever face them again? I spent the last two months believing the worst about my brothers and it lead to a lot of heartache on both sides. I know that my actions must have hurt them, especially Gordon. I was no better than what I thought about them. I let my emotions rule me. I thought I knew the truth and instead of talking with them to find out if I was right, I just turned away from them. I wanted to punish them. I wanted them to hurt like I was hurting. Even when I made the decision to commit suicide, I wanted my hurting to stop, but there was a part of me that knew that it would hurt them, and I was glad. What kind of brother does that make me? How could I be happy in hurting my family? How can I ever face them after what I've done?"

"But you changed your mind about the suicide." Lucy squeezed his shoulder slightly. "The shooting was just an accident."

"But they don't know that." Alan replied. "I even left a note for John to find. He wasn't supposed to relieve me. I thought dad said Brains was going to relieve me. I'm sure he's found it by now, especially after what I did."

Lucy nodded. "He did. He sent Virgil to stop you. That's what startled you."

Alan hung his head in shame. "So they do know. They must be so disappointed in me. I can't face them again. It would be too hard."

Lucy placed a hand under Alan's chin and forced him to look at her. "Yes, you can. You are a Tracy. What was it that you said in the shooting range?"

Alan choked back a sigh. "That Tracys always face their problems head on."

Lucy gave him another small smile. "That's what you need to do. Face them. Deal with this. You can do it. You're stronger than you think."

Alan swallowed hard as he battled new tears. "Do you think that they will be willing to forgive me?"

"That's not the question that should be asked. The question should be can you forgive yourself?" His mother replied.

"I don't know, Mom." Alan admitted. "I just really don't know."

"I'm sure you can." Lucy answered. "It's one of your better qualities."

"But what if this is too big?" Alan continued to voice his concerns. "What if this is the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back?"

Lucy gripped Alan's hands in her own. "Alan, listen to me. You hide so much even from yourself. Trust me when I tell you that nothing is too big for **you** to forgive."

"Do you really think so?" Alan asked starring at his and his mother's intertwined fingers.

"I **know** so." Lucy responded. "I also know that soon you will have to dig deep to forgive a mistake, but you will need to. A life will depend on it."

Alan's head snapped up at that statement. "A life? Whose? One of my brothers?"

Lucy shook her head. "No, but you will know whose when the time comes."

Alan looked back at their hands. "So, you think that I should go back?"

Lucy sighed. "I cannot tell you what to do or even tell you what I think you should do. This has to be your decision. You are the only one who can make it."

"But you can tell me that my brothers **don't** hate me or want me to leave International Rescue?" Alan said.

Lucy shook her head. "No, they don't."

"And my death is going to cause intense pain to my family." Alan continued.

His mother nodded. "Oh yes, Alan, it definitely will."

"And you say a life hangs on my ability to forgive. What will happen if I'm not there to forgive?" Alan asked.

"I really can't say." Lucy answered.

Alan sighed heavily. "I guess I have to go back."

Lucy smiled. "I'm glad. Your family needs you."

"Mom," Alan began emotionally. "Before I go back, I want you to know that I miss you. We all do."

Compassion filled Lucy's eyes. "I know Alan. I've always known, and I promise you that when the time is right, we will all be together. I love you so much. You've always held a special place in my heart since I wasn't there for you. Please tell the others that I love them."

Alan nodded as he stood up from the couch. "I will Mom. I love you too." His mother and everything around him disappeared into a blinding white light as his consciousness slipped away.

* * *

Author's Note - Scott finally broke, but will he ever be able to forgive himself for how he treated Alan. He could probably use a talk with their mother. She was there to help put Alan back on track. Unfortunately, when you're dealing with an "out-of-body" experience, time loses its meaning, so don't expect Alan to be waking up next chapter.

Okay, we want to thank our reviewers. Most of you know that we **try** to reply to the reviews, but with school being out for the summer, things have gotten crazy. Because of scheduling problems, we weren't able to get together this week. So we were unable to work on the replies together, but we still want to acknowledge the fact that we did get many reviews, and we want to thank **everyone** who took the time to send one. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.


	26. Guilt

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 26 – Guilt

An exhausted Virgil stepped from the sickroom. He found Scott, who had lost all track of time, sitting on the floor hanging his head. Scott's breathing was still ragged from his earlier emotional outburst. Virgil had been angry with Scott earlier, but now seeing him sitting on the floor so broken, his anger dissipated.

Virgil sat down on the floor next to Scott. "Scott, are you okay?" He asked wearily.

Scott just shook his head no.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Virgil offered.

Scott lifted his face to look at Virgil. Virgil could see that Scott's eyes were red rimmed from crying, and there was no mistaking the hitch in his voice when he asked. "Talk about what? How I killed our baby brother?"

Virgil sighed. "You didn't kill Alan. First off, Alan's not dead. Secondly, you weren't the one who pulled the trigger."

"No, I was just the one who drove him to such a drastic measure." Scott interrupted.

Virgil ran a hand over his face and looked away unable to respond.

"Go ahead," Scott continued. "Admit it. Everyone is blaming me, aren't they?" Scott paused for a moment and then continued. "Even you."

Virgil sighed. "I really don't know what drove Alan to do what he did. We all could see that he was acting strangely. Now, I'm not saying that what you did wasn't a mitigating circumstance in this equation, but maybe there was something that we did or didn't do that only compounded the problem. We just won't know until we can talk to Alan."

"But will we get a chance to ask him?" Scott questioned.

Virgil shook his head. "I don't know."

"But you did say that he was still alive." Scott said nervously. "What happened?"

"I'm not absolutely certain." Virgil admitted. "He started bleeding internally again. Brains was able to repair it and got his heart re-started. Unfortunately, during the time that his heart was stopped, his brain was deprived of oxygen. We don't know what kind of damage he has suffered."

Scott and Virgil were interrupted by Tin-Tin running down the hall with Grandma following at a slower pace. They could tell by her disheveled appearance that she had been woken up by grandma with the bad news.

Tin-Tin dropped to her knees in front of the two brothers. She took in Scott's tear-stained face and naturally assumed the worst. Hysterically, she began to rant. "He's dead, isn't he? I knew…"

Virgil jumped in to calm her. "No, Tin-Tin, he's not dead. I promise you. He had a close call, but we were able to get him back."

Tin-Tin visibly deflated as tears began to fall. "He's alive." She whispered. "I was so scared."

Virgil nodded. "It's okay Tin-Tin, we understand."

"No, you don't." Tin-Tin suddenly snapped in anger. "I want to see him. I **need** to see him. I know that I'm still contagious, but I'll do anything. I'll wear a mask and gloves. I'll even wear a full environmental suit if that's what it takes. I just **have** to see him."

Virgil gripped her shoulders. "All right Tin-Tin, calm down. I'll talk to Brains. I'm sure that we can work something out."

"Thank you Virgil." Tin-Tin replied a little breathlessly. "It's bad enough that he is hurt, but to not be able to see him, it's almost too much to bear."

Virgil gave her a comforting smile. "Don't worry, honey. Things will get better. I promise."

Tin-Tin shook her head slightly. "You really shouldn't make promises that you have no control over."

"Okay, you're right." Virgil replied. "So, let's call it a hunch."

Scott pulled himself together and stood up. "Well, now that things have calmed down at least for now, I'm going to head to the lounge. Even though they won't be back for at least an hour and a half, I need to call Thunderbird Three. I should tell them what has happened. Virgil, stay here and help Brains with anything that he needs. Tin-Tin, you may want to freshen up if you're going to see Alan. Grandma, can you sit with Alan until we work out a schedule where we all take turns?"

"Of course, Scott." Grandma replied as she headed into the sickroom, and Tin-Tin headed back to her room.

Once the women were out of earshot, Virgil asked Scott. "Are you going to tell dad what you said before Alan flat lined?"

Scott met Virgil's gaze. "Believe it or not, Virgil, I do intend to tell dad what I said. I'm done trying to hide my participation in all of this."

"That's good to hear." Virgil replied. "I'm gonna check in with Brains. I'll talk to you later."

Scott just nodded as Virgil re-entered the sickroom. He was really dreading making the call to his dad, but putting it off would only make it worse. He sighed heavily as he headed to the lounge to make the radio call.

* * *

Gordon sprinted out of Thunderbird Three as soon as it landed. Ever since the call came in from Scott, he had been pressing John to increase the speed of Thunderbird Three. He was nervous about what they would find when they got back to the Island, especially after Scott had asked to speak privately to Jeff. Gordon just knew that there was something more than that Alan took a turn for the worse. John pushed Three to her safety limit and did cut some time off the flight home.

Once Gordon left, John looked at his dad. "You can go ahead and go up to the sickroom. I can handle the post flight checks."

Jeff shook his head. "No, you can come up with me. The post flights can wait." John was about to argue, but Jeff cut him off. "Don't forget. I shut down International Rescue. That means that Three won't be needed any time soon. Come on. I know that you're just as worried about Alan as I am. Let's go up together."

John nodded. "You're right. It's just habit to do the checks as soon as we land. Yeah, let's go."

In a matter of minutes, Jeff and John entered the sickroom. Gordon was sitting next to Alan's bedside. He was holding Alan's hand and was quietly talking to him. Virgil stood at the end of the bed just watching his two younger brothers.

"Where's Brains?" Jeff asked after surveying the room.

Virgil turned around to face his father. "Dad…uhm…" He nodded towards the office off of the sickroom. "He's in his office." He stumbled over his words.

Jeff noticed the stress in Virgil's voice. "Are you okay, son?"

Virgil sighed heavily. "Yeah, it's just been a rough day, but I'll survive."

Jeff nodded. "How's Alan?"

"He's still critical." Virgil replied. "But he at least seems to be stable at the moment."

Jeff sighed. "All right, I'll be right back. I want to check in with Brains."

Jeff knocked on the door and opened the door after hearing a muffled "Come in" from Brains. When he entered the room, he saw Brains sitting at his desk scanning page after page on the computer. "Hello, Brains" Jeff said.

"Mr. T-T-Tracy," Brains said simply as he gave Jeff a passing glance and went back to his reading.

Jeff sat down in a chair in front of Brains' desk. "Scott said that you had to do another surgery on Alan…that he had flat-lined. Can you tell me what happened?"

Brains stared at the computer screen, but he stopped reading. Jeff could see the tension radiating from him. Jeff's first instinct was to press Brains, but he knew from experience that he needed to give Brains the time to collect his thoughts.

Finally, Brains turned to face Jeff across the desk. "It's m-m-my f-f-fault." He said with guilt lacing his voice.

This was the last thing that Jeff expected to hear. "What do you mean? You saved his life."

Brains began to fidget with the various items on his desk. Jeff waited for Brains to continue, but when Brains turned back to his computer, he knew that he had to push.

"Brains," Jeff began. "Talk to me. What is going on? Tell me what is bothering you. What does that have to do with Alan?"

Brains turned away from his computer and removed his glasses from his face. He ran a hand over his face and began to speak, but he refused to look Jeff in the eyes. "I m-m-made a m-m-mistake in the first s-s-surgery. I'm r-resp-sp-sponsible for h-h-his c-c-cardiac arrest."

Jeff shook his head. "I don't understand. What mistake?"

Brains sighed and finally looked at Jeff. His stutter became more pronounced as he tried to explain. "O-o-one of the st-st-stitches that I p-p-put in the a-a-aorta d-didn't hold. A-A-Alan b-b-began to bl-bl-bleed int-t-ternally a-a-again. Th-th-that's what c-c-caused his c-c-cardiac a-arrest. I-I-I'm the o-o-one r-r-responsible for th-th-the added d-d-damage."

Jeff leaned forward a bit. "Just what kind of damage are we talking about?"

Brains shook his head again and paused a moment. "I-I-I'm n-n-not sure. H-h-his heart w-w-was st-st-stopped for al-al-almost f-f-four m-m-minutes. I c-c-couldn't d-do CPR and r-r-repair the t-t-torn aorta at the s-same t-t-time. D-d-during that t-t-time h-his br-br-brain was d-d-deprived of o-o-oxygen. H-h-he is b-b-bound to h-h-have br-brain d-d-damage. I j-j-just w-won't kn-know how s-s-severe until h-h-he w-w-wakes up…if h-he w-w-wakes up."

"If?!" Jeff exclaimed. "Are you saying that Alan may never wake up?" He demanded, fear evident in his voice. "That he could die?"

"I d-d-don't know." Brains said in frustration. "I-I-I'm d-d-doing every th-th-thing that I c-c-can, b-b-but I just d-d-don't know."

Jeff forced himself to calm down. "Okay, what can we do?"

Brains responded to Jeff's calmer voice by calming down some. "I'm t-t-trying a tr-treatment of a m-m-medically in-induced coma and b-b-body cooling m-m-measures for tw-twenty four h-h-hours. Hopefully, I c-c-can protect h-h-his brain from f-f-further damage."

"Do you think that it will work?" Jeff asked.

Brains shrugged. "It w-w-works well enough f-f-for the m-m-medical community to c-c-continue using it, b-b-but it doesn't w-w-work on everyone."

"Is there anything else that we can do?" Jeff pressed.

Brains turned back towards the computer. "I've b-b-been r-r-researching other p-p-possible therapies, but I w-w-won't know if any of th-them will w-w-work until after we st-st-start warming Alan b-b-back up, and I c-c-can assess his c-c-condition."

Jeff nodded. "Okay Brains, keep me informed of his condition."

"Of c-c-course, Mr. Tracy." Brains replied.

Jeff stood and headed towards the door but then paused. "I'd like to have a family meeting, but that means that you would need to sit with Alan. Would an hour be enough time for you to finish your research or should I make it two?"

"An hour is f-f-fine." Brains replied.

Jeff gave Brains an uneasy smile. "Thanks, Brains."

* * *

An hour later, the family headed to the lounge to meet with Jeff. He was already at his desk as the boys entered the lounge one by one.

Gordon was the last one to arrive after being forced to leave the sickroom. "I'm sorry that I'm late." He mumbled as he sat down on the couch next to Tin-Tin while John sat on the other side of her.

"That's okay." Jeff replied as he glanced around the room. His mother sat in a chair near his desk. Virgil sat in a chair near the couch, but Scott stood with his back to the family starring out the windows overlooking the ocean. "Scott, would you care to join us?"

Scott turned to face his father, but he didn't move away from the window. "I can hear you from here."

"Okay," Jeff sighed as he moved around to the front of his desk. He sat partially on the edge of his desk. Clearing his throat, he began speaking. "I talked to Brains earlier about Alan's condition. His condition is critical. Brains has him in a medically induced coma. He is hoping to limit the extent of the brain damage with this treatment."

John leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees. "So Brains feels that there is some brain damage?"

Virgil answered John's question. "His heart was stopped for almost four minutes, during that time his brain wasn't getting any oxygen. There's bound to be damage."

"Why didn't you do something about that?" Gordon asked. "CPR? Or anything?"

Virgil sighed. "He was bleeding from his aorta. If we had done CPR, he would have continued to bleed each time his heart was pumped."

"But…" Gordon began to argue.

Jeff cut him off. "I trust Brains, but even he can't perform miracles. I'm sure that he did what he thought was best. We will know more once he brings Alan out of the coma."

"What if he can't bring Alan out of the coma?" Gordon questioned.

Jeff shook his head. "We will just have to deal with it if that happens."

Grandma looked at Gordon. "Don't you worry, dear. Alan is a Tracy. He's tough. He'll get through this."

Gordon nodded. "I hope you're right Grandma."

"I know I am." Grandma replied confidently. "We just have to remain positive. Right, Jeff?"

Jeff sighed. "Well, it certainly couldn't hurt." Jeff paused for a moment and reached behind him and grabbed a piece of paper off his desk. "This is the note that he left for John. Now, John has obviously already read this, and I think the rest of you should hear it too. We probably will never understand fully why Alan decided to…well anyways, I feel that you should know what he said. Openness about out feelings will help us through this time."

Jeff cleared his throat again as he began to read the letter.

"_Dear John,_

_First off, I want to apologize for what I've done. I have no idea how long it will be before dad sends you back here, so I don't know how long it has been since…well, you know._

_I don't know how my actions were received by the family. I know this sounds selfish, but there is a part of me that hopes that you are saddened by my death, but I do understand if you guys feel relief instead. I want you to know that I didn't make this decision easily. I'm going to try to explain my reasoning, and I hope that you guys can forgive me._

_I want you to understand that I don't blame anyone. I'm the one responsible for my own actions. I can understand why nobody trusts me. I don't have a stellar track record which finally culminated in your injury. I guess you could say that it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I know this is going to sound funny, but I want to thank you and Scott. You two told me in no uncertain terms how you felt about me. Which was better than the hidden innuendoes that I got from dad, (If you're reading this, and I'm sure that you will, I do understand that you were just trying to spare my feelings.) or overhearing it like I did with Gordon and Virgil. (I'm not trying to blame them either. Since they didn't know that I was there, they were just being honest about their feelings.)"_

"Wait a minute." Virgil broke in. "I'm confused. Gordon, do you know what he is talking about? What conversation did he overhear?"

Gordon gave Virgil a guilty look. "I don't know for sure. The only time I can think of is when we were in the storeroom gathering the repair items."

Virgil groaned and ran his hands through his hair. "Oh God, that puts his fainting spell in a whole new light."

"And his attitude afterwards, too." Gordon added.

Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Anyone care to fill me in?"

"It's my fault." Virgil began. "I was questioning Gordon about if Alan's remorse was sincere."

"No, it was my fault." Gordon countered. "I was the one who said that we should force him to leave the Island after hurting John."

"You what?!" John asked in a shocked voice.

Virgil jumped in to defend Gordon. "It's not like how it sounds. He was being sarcastic to show **me** what an idiot I was being."

"Obviously, Alan didn't see it that way." Gordon added. "God, I'm such an idiot."

"You can't think like that." John said quietly. "You didn't know that he was there. He doesn't blame you, so you can't blame yourself either."

"John's right." Jeff said. "Trying to place blame on anyone is not going to help the situation. Now, let me finish the letter and we can talk some more then."

The three brothers involved in the conversation nodded to their father and waited for him to continue.

_"I can understand your mistrust of me because I don't even trust myself. Unfortunately, trust is an important aspect of our jobs. Without it, we can't function as an effective team. Since it is me that can't be trusted, I'm endangering you guys each time we go out on a rescue. That is a risk that I'm no longer willing to take. I have no choice but to quit International Rescue, but I can't stay on the Island though, watching my family going out on rescues, endangering their lives for people that they don't even know._

_I know you probably won't understand my feelings right now, but I can't do that. It would just be too hard. So I am faced with a decision. The two obvious choices are unacceptable to me. I love my family too much to endanger your lives, but that love also makes it unbearable to even think about moving away and trying to live a 'normal' life elsewhere. That leaves me with only one other option…an unthinkable, desperate option. I made the decision to take my own life. It was __**my**__ choice. No one else is to blame. No matter what people said or did, the ultimate decision was mine. I am the only one responsible. I made the decision, and I feel it was the correct one. This way I know you will be safe from me. If my death causes the family pain, just know that your pain will also fade in time. Eventually, you will come to realize that this was the best for everyone._

_If you want to share this letter with the rest of the family, feel free to do so. However, if you choose not to, please tell the rest of the family that I love them and that I don't blame anyone and they shouldn't either. (Remember, I know you guys too well. I know how you think.) Anyways, I don't know if this letter made any sense to you, but I hope that it at least helps to ease any guilt. Please remember that I love you all._

_Alan"_

Jeff refolded the letter. He looked out at the family. "Well, does anyone want to say anything?"

John just shook his head.

Virgil sighed heftily. "Well, that explains a few things, but it doesn't really help ease the guilt."

"You can say that again." Gordon added. "How did we miss how badly he was feeling? I mean, I know he was shutting us out, and we all knew that he was upset because of that. But this? Were we really that blind to Alan's feelings?"

Jeff shook his head slightly. "I could give you all a series of sympathetic platitudes. 'Alan was hiding his true feelings. We were worried about John's injury. We were extra busy with International Rescue.' But those are just excuses. The fact of the matter is: we missed it. We all did, myself included."

"So what do we do now?" Gordon asked.

"We prove to Alan that we do love and, more importantly, that we trust him." Jeff began. "When he wakes up, we need to work at repairing the hurt that had occurred whether it was a misunderstanding or not. We have to break through the emotional barrier that he has erected."

"Is there anything that we can do before he wakes up?" Virgil questioned.

Jeff ran a hand through his hair. "Well, there is evidence that people in comas can hear people talking around them. So, when you're in the sickroom with Alan, talk positively. Tell him that you love him and want him to get better. Give him the encouragement that he needs to fight to get better."

A hush fell over the room as the individual family members got lost in their own thoughts. After a few moments, Jeff cleared his throat and said. "Well, if there is nothing else, I made up a schedule for us to sit with Alan." He grabbed some papers off his desk and began to hand them to his sons. "Let me know if you have a problem with your scheduled times."

"Mr. Tracy?" Tin-Tin spoke up. "I would like a scheduled time also."

Jeff shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. You can visit Alan for short times with Brains' permission, but until you are over your cold completely, I want you to limit your exposure."

Tin-Tin nodded her head although her face showed that she wasn't completely happy about it.

Jeff looked around. "Well, if there are no problems, you are free to leave. John, you're first in the sickroom."

"Right, Dad." John replied as he stood up.

Jeff moved back around his desk and sat down as the others began to leave the lounge. He opened his e-mail account. He wasn't in the mood to do business, but he needed to do something to keep his mind busy. As he read down the list of new e-mails, he got the feeling that he was not alone. He looked around and saw Scott standing at the window looking out again. "Scott?" He called to his son.

Scott didn't respond at first.

Jeff tried again. "Scott, is there a problem?"

Scott turned slightly. "I need to speak to you, but I don't know how you will respond."

Jeff sighed. He really didn't want to fight again with Scott about Alan, but he didn't want to put it off either. Motioning to the chair in front of the desk, he said. "Come and have a seat, and we'll talk."

Scott crossed the room and sat in the chair. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it without saying a word.

Jeff watched Scott as he nervously clenched and unclenched his fists. "Scott, is this about Alan?" He asked.

Scott shook his head. "No, this is about me. I need to resign from International Rescue."

* * *

Author's Note - Okay, here we go again. Why does Scott want to resign? Is it because of guilt? Will Jeff be able to talk him out of it? Does Jeff **want** to talk him out of it? Are the other brothers feeling like Scott? Is their guilt eating away at them? Also, how long will Alan be in the coma? How much brain damage will there be? We are leaving you with a lot of unaswered questions. (Please don't kill us.)

Again, we want to thank everyone who reviewed our last chapter. We do appreciate them. We hope you enjoyed this one also. Thanks again to all our readers and reviewers.


	27. Scott's Revelation

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 27 – Scott's Revelation

Jeff watched Scott as he nervously clenched and unclenched his fists. "Scott, is this about Alan?" He asked.

Scott shook his head. "No, this is about me. I need to resign from International Rescue."

"What?" Jeff exclaimed in shock.

Scott stared down into his hands. "You heard me." He replied quietly.

This was the last thing that Jeff had expected to hear. His confusion was evident in his voice as he spoke. "Look, Scott, if this is about you and Alan working together. We can work something out. You can't allow this to drive you and Alan apart. We can…"

Scott interrupted his father. "No, this is about me. The things that I have done…my lack of emotional control."

Jeff sat back in his chair and spoke in what he hoped was a comforting voice. "Look, Scott, I know that you've been having trouble ever since John's accident…"

"Actually it started before that." Scott admitted.

Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

Scott shook his head. "I don't **want** to, but I guess I do owe you an explanation."

Jeff sighed. "I won't force you to tell me anything, but I would appreciate knowing why you want to quit."

Scott finally looked up and met his father's gaze. "Do you remember when I went to Santa Maria, CA the week before John's accident?"

Jeff nodded. "Yes, you went to visit your friend from the Air Force, Mike Nettles. The guy you've known since basic training."

"Right," Scott replied. "Then after basic, we were even assigned the same schooling. We had so many of the same interests that people joked that we were really the same person sharing two different bodies."

Jeff chuckled lightly. "I did notice that the few times that I had met Mike."

Scott nodded. "Yeah, well, when I asked for some leave time, I didn't tell you the real reason that I needed to go." He paused for a moment to pull his emotions together. "What I didn't tell you was that Mike was seriously hurt in a training exercise. As a matter of fact, he died the second day I was there. I stayed the extra days and helped his wife, Sharon, to arrange the funeral."

Jeff was surprised. He remembered Scott returning from that trip. He also remembered thinking at the time that Scott seemed quiet, but since he didn't say that anything was wrong, he just chalked it up to Scott being tired after spending a week partying with an old friend. Jeff kicked himself for not realizing that another one of his sons was suffering, and he missed it. Jeff cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to hear that. I know that you two were close. Why didn't you say anything?"

Scott shrugged. "Did I ever tell you that Mike had a younger brother?"

Jeff was slightly taken back at the sudden shift in topics. "No, I don't think I ever knew that."

Scott looked back at his hands as he fidgeted with his fingers. "His name was Nick. They were really close even though Mike was older than Nick by three years. Like us, their mother also died when they were young boys, and their dad was an Air Force officer, so they moved around quite a bit. Because of that, they became each other's best friend." Scott stopped speaking for a few moments.

Jeff waited for Scott to continue, but when he didn't, Jeff asked. "Is there a problem between you and Nick that is bothering you?"

Scott shook his head. "No, nothing like that. As a matter of fact, Nick was killed in a car accident a couple months before his eighteenth birthday. He was on his way to pick up the meals for his 'Meals on Wheels' shift when a cement truck ran a stop sign. He was killed instantly." Scott paused again in his storytelling.

Jeff was having a hard time following Scott's thinking. Jeff knew that having a friend die young is a hard thing to deal with, but he was having difficulty determining how Mike's dead brother was figuring into this story. "I'm sorry, Scott. I'm not following you."

Scott sighed. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm rambling. Anyways, when I first visited Mike that first day at the Vandenberg base hospital, he made a confession to me. Apparently, two months before the accident, a young airman was assigned to his unit. Mike said that this kid could have been Nick's identical twin. Unfortunately, this airman had a penchant for making mistakes, but because of his likeness to Nick, Mike couldn't bring himself to discipline him. First, it was just little things, and Mike hoped that if he gave him time to settle in and with the proper encouragement that he would get better. It didn't work that way though. The more time went on, the bigger the mistakes became. It finally got to the point that where Mike finally gave up and wanted to bring him up on disciplinary charges, but by then he was afraid that because of the 'pampering' he had done that it would backlash on him. So, he continued to cover for him. Then, during a live fire exercise, the airman made a deadly mistake. They were doing missiles tests out in the desert, and he gave them the wrong coordinates. The incoming missile hit the base camp. The four people in the communication tent were killed instantly, including the airman that made the mistake, and the three people in the command tent were severely burned. Sharon called me as soon as she learned about the accident."

Jeff nodded. "That's why you insisted on leaving with such short notice."

Scott returned the nod. "Mike knew that his burns were too extensive to survive, and for some reason it was important to him that I see him before he died. I guess maybe he wanted to admit his mistakes to someone he hoped would understand without condemning him. Mike was experiencing extreme guilt over the death of his men. He knew that the incident was a direct result of him letting his emotions overrule his command senses. He felt responsible for their deaths because he didn't force the airman to take responsibility for his earlier mistakes. Mike knew that if he had, the severity of the airman's mistakes would not have continued to increase."

"Is that what you feel that we have done with Alan?" Jeff questioned. "That we allowed his little mistakes to grow into larger ones?"

Scott shook his head. "No…yes…I don't know, but that's not the problem anyhow."

"Than what is?" Jeff asked.

Scott stood and began to pace. "It was hard seeing Mike like that. He was dying, but it wasn't just his physical condition that bothered me. Mike was always so sure of himself…so in control…quick to evaluate any situation and make a sound, decisive plan. It made him an effective officer. I had a hard time believing that Mike had allowed his emotions to overwhelm him like that. I mean, it wasn't even Nick, but just a look-a-like. But then to hear him speak, so consumed with guilt, I knew that it had happened, and it threw me a bit. He made a comment that has stuck with me. It has upset me. I…"

"What did he say?" Jeff interrupted.

Scott stopped his pacing and threw himself into the chair. He took a moment to compose himself. "He said that I should be grateful that I left the Air Force to work for you. At least here, if I make a wrong decision, it wouldn't get anyone killed."

Jeff shook his head and said lightly. "Oh, if he only knew what you really did…"

"That's just it, Dad." Scott declared in frustration as he stood and began pacing again. "Who the hell am I to be making all these 'life and death' decisions?"

Jeff was taken back by Scott's tone. "I don't understand."

Scott continued his pacing. "What I mean is that I fly out to rescues and make decisions about how the rescues are handled. People get hurt or even killed because of my decisions. Why? Who am I? I'm not God. What gives me the right to make those kinds of decisions for total strangers? Or for my brothers for that matter. What makes my opinion so much more important than any other?"

"But people's lives are also saved because of your decisions." Jeff tried to reassure his son. "Scott, this isn't like you to be second guessing yourself like this."

Scott sighed as he sat back down. "Maybe it should be. Maybe I should weigh the options more carefully, ask others for their input."

Jeff shook his head. "Scott, many of the decisions you make have to be made quickly. There's usually not enough time to ask around and take a vote. I trust your judgment. You were trained to make snap judgments…to quickly weigh all the options and determine the most prudent course of action for the greater good."

"Mike had the same training that I had." Scott countered. "If he could let his emotions cloud his judgment because a subordinate just looked like his brother, how clouded is my judgment when I am actually working with my brothers?"

Jeff leaned forward and rested his forearms on his desk. "But you are not Mike. You can't allow his mistakes to become yours."

Scott refused to meet his father's eyes. "I brushed my doubts off at first, but then after John's accident, and Alan's involvement, they forced their way to the surface. I started wondering if I had missed something, and things spiraled out of control from there. I turned into this angry, screaming maniac that even I didn't recognize. I can't blame Alan for wanting to commit suicide. I treated him horribly. Even after the shooting, I was still so angry with him. I called him unstable, but **I am** the one who is unstable. I blamed him for hurting the family with his actions. I refused to acknowledge that he was hurting too. I can't believe I made that comment to Virgil about turning off the vent. That was just totally uncalled for."

"Scott…" Jeff began but Scott continued speaking.

"Then you read that letter." Scott rambled on. "He actually **thanked** me for being honest about my feelings. Can you believe that? Honest? That was the last thing that I was being. I didn't want to face my own emotions, so I tried to hide my own guilt by turning it into anger against Alan. I can't keep going on like this. I am too emotionally out of control. I can't work like this, Dad. I **won't** work like this."

Jeff let out a deep breath. "Scott, you have endured quite a bit of emotional upheaval over these past few months. If I don't miss my guess, you probably haven't been eating or sleeping like you should, right?"

Scott just shrugged but didn't speak. So Jeff continued speaking. "Also in addition to the obvious stressors that you've been under, we've had a bit higher number of rescue calls which you boys have been trying to handle short-handed. So, you're bound to be worn out both physically and emotionally. Now is not the time to be making such life changing decision, and you don't have to. Since I've shut down International Rescue, you can take some time to rest and deal with your fears before reaching a final decision."

"I guess I can think some more on it." Scott replied. "But I don't think it will really change anything."

"Maybe, maybe not." Jeff answered. "I also want you to have a complete check-up."

"Why?" Scott asked. "There's nothing physically wrong with me."

Jeff shrugged. "You never know. There's a possibility that your emotional distress could have a physical cause. It's something that we should rule out."

"But Brains has so much going on right now with Alan." Scott argued. "He's what is important right now."

"Humor me." Jeff replied. "I'll talk to Brains and find out a good time for him."

"Dad…" Scott began.

"Please, Scott," Jeff cut him off. "Do it for me. You're not the only one feeling guilty. I've been so blind to my sons' emotional distress. You obviously were suffering, and I didn't even realize it. I knew that there was something wrong with Alan, but I just decided to wait and hope that he would work his way through it. Now, I can't help but wonder that if I had stepped in earlier with Alan, maybe I could have headed this off. I don't want to risk that with you. I don't want to risk ignoring a physical problem by passing it off as just an emotional issue."

Scott finally nodded. "Okay, if you feel it's that important, I'll do it, but don't be surprised when nothing shows up."

"Thank you, Scott." Jeff said with a small smile. "I know that right now it seems like it's a long and difficult road ahead of us to heal this family, but we can do it…as a family. We have to."

* * *

Over the course of the next day, the family had settled into a routine. They took their turns sitting with Alan. In between those times, Jeff made sure that he spent time talking to each of his sons. He didn't want another son to suffer because he wasn't paying close enough attention to their emotional states. Scott had his check-up in the morning and everything appeared normal, although they were waiting for some final blood tests to be finished. Brains had removed the cooling measures from Alan, and stopped the meds for the coma. Now it was just a matter of time waiting for Alan to wake up. Jeff stood on the balcony outside the lounge. Gordon was in the pool doing laps while John sat in a lounge chair reading a magazine. Jeff was saddened as he watched his sons below. Normally, his sons would be teasing each other, but not today. Jeff re-affirmed his resolve to be there for his sons and somehow keep the family together. 

Jeff's watch beeped and revealed Scott's face. "Go ahead, Scott." He said.

"Dad, can you come to the sickroom?" Scott asked.

"Is it Alan? Is he waking up?" Jeff wanted to know.

Scott shook his head. "I'm sorry. No, it's not Alan. I need to talk to you about the blood work that Brains ran."

Jeff's face fell as the implication hit him. His mind groaned. "Oh no, something is wrong with Scott." But to his son, he simply said. "I'll be right there."

Jeff quickly made his way to the sickroom. When he entered the room, he saw Virgil sitting next to Alan's bed reading to him from a racing magazine.

Virgil spotted his dad almost immediately. "Hi, Dad." He said simply.

Jeff nodded in acknowledgement. "Hello, Virgil, is there any change?"

Virgil shook his head. "Not that I've noticed."

Jeff shook his head in disappointment. "All right, I'm going to be talking with Brains and Scott. Let me know if anything changes."

"I will." Virgil replied as he went back to his reading.

Jeff headed to Brains' office where Scott was waiting by the open door.

"Have a seat, Dad." Scott said as he closed the door.

Jeff sat down and looked between Scott and Brains, who was sitting at his desk. "You found something?" He asked cautiously.

Scott nodded. "But don't panic. It's fixable."

Jeff relaxed a bit. "So, what's going on?"

Scott sat down in the chair next to Jeff. "According to my blood work, I am suffering a deficiency, primarily in the B vitamin group and also in the trace minerals."

"A vitamin and mineral deficiency?" Jeff questioned. "That can cause an emotional imbalance?"

Brains nodded. "It c-c-can. A-a-add in the other st-st-stressors that he's b-b-been experiencing, the e-e-effects can be c-c-compounded."

"And you say that it's fixable?" Jeff continued.

Scott nodded. "A simple vitamin and mineral supplement once a day is all that there is to it. He also said that a sleep aid at night will help me get back into a normal 'bio-rhythm'."

Brains cleared his throat and gave Scott an unhappy look.

Scott rolled his eyes. "Okay, so Brains did encourage me to talk to someone. He said that 'it's not good' to bottle things up."

"Well, I agree with him on that point." Jeff said. "If you aren't comfortable with speaking with someone here on the Island, I'm sure that we can find someone that you can trust."

Scott nodded. "I'll try it with Brains and Kyrano. I'm sure that between the two, they can help me get my head screwed back on right."

Jeff nodded at Scott but then turned back to Brains. "Do you know why he developed this deficiency?"

Brains shrugged. "It is p-p-probably a one t-t-time fluke, b-b-but I will k-k-keep an eye on the pr-pr-problem to make s-s-sure that it doesn't r-r-reoccur."

Jeff turned back to Scott. "Well, I'm glad that Brains was able to find the problem and that it's fixable."

"So am I." Scott agreed. "I'll admit that it even scared me, being so out of control like I was."

"So, does this mean that you have changed your mind about resigning?" Jeff asked.

Scott sobered. "I don't know. Even though Brains found a physical problem, is it really my only problem? We are just assuming it is, and that I'll get better as the vitamin and mineral levels rise. But what if I don't? What if I still can't handle the pressures of command?"

"I've been thinking about that." Jeff replied. "I can't remove all your responsibilities, but I have some ideas to take some of them from your shoulders. We can talk more about it later."

"That's not the only problem." Scott said.

Jeff raised an eyebrow at Scott. "There's more?"

Scott sighed. "I just don't know if my brothers will still want to work with me. I was pretty horrible to all of them. Then there's Alan…God, what did I do? Can he ever forgive me? Can any of them?"

"I think you are selling your brothers short." Jeff said with a small smile. "Go talk to them. Explain to them what is going on. I have a feeling that you will find them more forgiving than you think."

Scott nodded. "Well, I think that I will go talk to Kyrano before I approach my brothers. I'll talk to you later."

Jeff returned Scott's nod. "Okay, Scott, just remember my door is always open if you need to talk to me."

"I will. Thanks, Dad." Turning to Brains, he continued. "And thank you too Brains for everything that you did."

Brains blushed a bit. "I w-w-was just doing my j-j-job, but you're w-w-welcome. Also, the p-p-pills should be h-h-here in t-t-tomorrow's mail."

Scott ran a hand over his hip and gave Brains a wry smile. "Great, that means no more shots."

Brains nodded. "I th-th-thought you w-would appreciate th-th-that."

Scott laughed and waved dismissively as he left the office. Jeff turned back to face Brains. "Now that Scott is taken care of, how is Alan doing?"

Brains shook his head. "It's t-t-too early to t-t-tell. I only d-d-discontinued the medication a c-c-couple of hours ago. H-h-his body n-n-needs to m-m-metabolize the m-medicine that is still in his s-s-system."

"How long will that take?" Jeff asked.

"I w-w-wish I could g-g-give you an exact t-t-time, but I c-c-can't." Brains replied. "Every b-b-body reacts at a d-d-different rate. It c-c-could be a s l-little as twelve h-h-hours or as much as th-th-thirty-six hours."

"So what happens if he doesn't wake up in that time?" Jeff asked. Although he wasn't sure that he really wanted the answer.

Brains shook his head. "I w-w-will then run s-s-some tests, and d-d-depending on the r-results, a decision w-w-will have to be m-m-made. H-h-hopefully, it won't c-c-come to that."

"I hope not either." Jeff said as he stood up and made his way to the door. "I think that I will go and sit with Alan for awhile. Please keep me informed of any changes, once I leave."

Brains nodded. "Of c-c-course, Mr. Tracy."

* * *

Jeff moved to Alan's bedside. "Virgil, I'll take over the rest of your shift." 

Virgil looked at his watch. "Are you sure? It's only another few minutes."

Jeff nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure. Go ahead and leave early."

Virgil closed the magazine that he had been reading to Alan. "Okay, I'll leave this here in case anyone else wants to read to him from it." He then headed out the door.

Jeff sat down in the chair vacated by Virgil. "Hey, Alan, it's Dad." He began speaking to his unresponsive son. "But of course, you would know that. I'm sure that my voice is easily recognized. How'd you like that article that Virgil was reading? It's nice to hear that your mechanic is doing so well since you retired form the racing circuit. As a matter of fact, I talked to Kenny this morning. I didn't tell him about your suicide note. I basically implied that the shooting was just accidental. He said to tell you to get your lazy butt out of that bed and get back to work. He wants you to build a new car for the next Parola Sands race. I think he figured that it would give you an incentive to get better. Although I'm not sure that I want you back at Parola Sands after what happened the last time. My heart can't take another scare like that again. Of course, this scare hasn't done my heart any good. I can tell you that much.

Anyways, Brains said that he took you off the meds that caused the coma, so you should be waking up soon. I can't wait for that to happen. To see your eyes and to hear your voice is my greatest wish at the moment. I love you Alan. Don't stay away too long."

"I take it sleeping beauty hasn't woke up yet." John's voice interrupted Jeff's one-sided conversation.

"John, I didn't hear you come in." Jeff said.

John shrugged. "I guess I never felt the need to make a grand entrance into a room."

Jeff laughed. "I take it that it's your turn to sit with Alan."

John nodded his head. "Yeah, it is." Turning his attention to Alan, he continued. "Hey, little brother, Tin-Tin is going to come visit you again in about a half hour. Don't you want to wake up so you can see your girlfriend? What do you say? Can you open your eyes?"

"John," Jeff began. "Brains said that it's too soon yet. The drugs need to work out of his system."

John nodded. "Okay, Alan, it sounds like you got a reprieve. Maybe you'll be awake for her next visit."

Jeff stood and offered the chair to John. "Well, I should head back to the lounge. I have a stack of work that is calling my name."

"Well, by all means," John laughed. "We all know how obnoxious that stack of work can be if you ignore it."

"Ha ha, John." Jeff replied. "Keep me informed of any changes. God, I feel like I've been saying that a lot."

"It's because you have." John said. "But I will." Trying to sound stern, he continued. "Now, go get your work done."

Jeff gave John a mock salute. "Yes, sir." As he headed out of the room, he could hear John begin his one-sided conversation. Sighing internally, he thought. "Hopefully, it won't be much longer before it is a two-sided conversation."

* * *

Author's Note - Happy Fourth of July to all our American readers! 

Okay, so now we know why Scott was being a beast. It was a combination of stress from his friends death and a vitamin deficiency. If you have never suffered from or known someone who suffered from a deficiency, it may seem like a little thing, but Convert knows from personal experience (her ex-husband suffered a vitamin B deficiency) how bad it can be.

Now, we have some BAD news for all our faithful readers. Due to school being out for the summer and the kids being home all the time and vacation plans, we have fallen behind in our writing. We are so sorry, but we have come to the end of the chapters that are written. So, we have to take a hiatus for a while. We are hoping to be back sometime between six to eight weeks from now. Please don't kill us. We will continue writing during this time, slow as it may be, and we are hoping that once we come back, we will have enough to follow through with our "once a week posting" until we reach the end of the story. Again, we are sorry. We really had hoped to stay ahead enough not to have to take a break, but alas, real life has jumped in and smacked us upside our heads. We have appreciated all our faithful readers and reviewers over the past six months and we hope that you will rejoin us when we come back. Thanks everyone.


	28. Grim News

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 28 – Grim News

A week later, Jeff sat in Brains' office trying to make sense of the papers that Brains was trying to explain to him. "Are you sure about this, Brains?"

Brains took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I'm s-s-sorry Mr. Tracy. I kn-kn-know this isn't wh-wh-what you had h-h-hoped for, but I've r-r-run an EEG every d-d-day for the p-p-past five days. Th-th-they all sh-sh-show the same th-th-thing. Alan is n-n-not showing any s-s-signs of moving towards c-c-consciousness."

Jeff knew where Brains was going, but he needed to hear the words. "Are you saying that Alan is brain dead?"

Brains sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "The d-d-definition of 'brain d-d-dead' is still a h-h-highly disputed topic. What I c-c-can tell you is th-th-that at this p-p-point Alan is totally d-d-dependant on the v-v-ventilator, and he is n-n-not showing any sign of impr-pr-provement."

Jeff's voice choked up when he asked. "Is there any hope at all that he will wake up?"

Brains bowed his head for a moment to collect his thoughts. He finally raised his head and met Jeff's gaze. "I c-c-can't say for one hundred p-p-percent certain that he w-w-won't wake up, but after r-r-running all these t-t-tests, in my opinion, it w-w-would be h-h-highly unlikely. I also s-s-sent these test r-r-results to a c-c-colleague of mine in L-L-Los Angeles. He's the h-h-head of neurology at USC University H-H-Hospital." At Jeff's look of shock and concern, Brains continued quickly. "D-d-don't worry. I r-r-removed Alan's n-n-name before I sent the f-f-file. I told h-h-him that it was a r-r-research project that I w-w-was doing."

"And he agreed with you?" Jeff asked.

Brains nodded slightly. "He s-s-said that Alan sh-sh-should be showing **some** s-s-signs of impr-provement if he was g-g-going to improve. H-h-his exact statement w-w-was: 'it would be a m-m-miracle for the p-p-patient to begin to impr-pr-prove after this l-l-length of t-time.'"

Jeff swallowed back the emotions that were building in him. "So, what can we do?"

Brains shook his head as he replaced his glasses. "There r-r-really are only two op-op-options. You c-c-can either r-r-remove him from the v-v-ventilator and let him g-g-go, or you c-c-can leave him on the v-v-ventilator and he will m-most likely r-r-remain in this c-c-condition for the rest of his l-l-life for however l-l-long it is."

Jeff swallowed back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. "No, Alan wouldn't want that. I just wish I could know for sure what to do."

"I w-w-wish I could t-t-tell you what to d-d-do." Brains said. "But it h-h-has to be your d-d-decision."

"But tell me the truth." Jeff questioned. "If this was your son, would you remove the vent?"

Brains nodded. "It w-w-would be the h-h-hardest decision that I w-w-would ever have to m-m-make, but knowing the low p-p-possibility of any r-r-recovery…yes, it is the d-d-decision that I would m-m-make."

Jeff sat quietly with his head bowed for a few minutes, and Brains just sat quietly allowing his employer and friend deal with his heart breaking dilemma. Finally, Jeff lifted his head. Brains could see the unshed tears pooling in his eyes.

Clearing his throat, Jeff quietly said. "All right, I know that this isn't what Alan would want, but we can't do anything until I talk to the family. They deserve a chance to say a final goodbye."

Brains nodded. "L-l-let me know when you are r-r-ready."

Jeff stood and headed towards the door. As he reached to open the office door, he heard Brains behind him say. "Jeff, I **am** s-s-sorry how things have t-t-turned out."

Jeff gave a curt nod. "I know you are. So am I." He then left the room.

* * *

John, Virgil and Gordon stood by their father's desk talking between themselves while Grandma and Tin-Tin sat on the couch and Scott once again stood at the windows looking out over the ocean but not really seeing it. 

"Does anyone know why dad called this meeting?" Gordon asked. "And on such short notice? I mean ten minutes isn't very long to get up here."

John shook his head. "I don't know, but dad didn't look very happy when he left Brains' office right before he called this meeting."

"You don't think that means…" Virgil began but John broke in.

"I don't even **want** to speculate what that means." John said.

"But…" Virgil went to respond, but stopped when Jeff walked in.

Jeff looked around at the family waiting expectantly. "Please, everyone have a seat." He said as he took his seat behind the desk.

The brothers' anxiety heightened at their father's tone. They each found a seat and quietly waited for Jeff to speak.

Jeff cleared his throat. "I just met with Brains to discuss Alan's condition. I'm afraid that the news is not good. Brains feels that Alan isn't going to wake up."

"NO!" Tin-Tin let out a strangled gasp as tears began to fall.

Grandma pulled Tin-Tin into an embrace as silent tears fell down her face.

"How can he be so sure?" Gordon questioned. "It's only been a week after all."

Jeff shook his head. "He's been running daily EEGs, and they have not shown **any** signs of improvement. The only thing keeping him alive right now is the vent."

"Alan wouldn't want to be kept alive like that." John said.

"What are you saying?" Gordon demanded.

"What I'm saying is that if he isn't going to recover, we need to take him off the vent." John answered.

Gordon stood up abruptly, angrily declaring. "I can't believe that you would suggest something like that."

Virgil tried to calm Gordon. "John's right. We need to think about what Alan would want."

Gordon turned to face Virgil. "You too? I can't believe that you guys are so quick to give up on him." Turning towards Scott, he continued his rant. "How about you, Scott? Do you think that we should kill Alan?"

Scott refused to meet Gordon's gaze. Quietly, he answered. "I agree with Virgil and John. We need to abide by Alan's wishes. We've all talked about this at one time or another…"

Gordon interrupted with a scoff of disgust. "Oh sure, you **would** say that. You wanted him dead in the first place."

Jeff caught the pained look on Scott's face even though he tried to hide it. "Gordon, that is enough."

Gordon turned toward his dad, anger flashing in his eyes. "But Dad, this is Alan. We can't just let him die. Maybe we should call in another doctor, a specialist, to get a second opinion."

Jeff shook his head. "Brains has already been in contact with the head of neurology at USC. He agreed with Brains' diagnosis. If Alan was going to recover, he would at least be showing some sign of improvement."

Gordon threw himself back into his chair with an air of defeat. "I know that we've talked about it, but I never really thought that we would ever have to make that decision."

"Well, the time has come." Jeff responded. "And I have made it. I did not call this meeting to discuss the choices. I called it to inform you of my decision and give you all a chance to say goodbye."

Silence fell over the room with the exception of Tin-Tin crying. After an uncomfortable minute, Scott cleared his throat. "So, how are we going to do this? Assign each of us a scheduled time?"

Jeff shook his head. "I thought we could just wait together in the hall, and one by one say goodbye. That way you can take all the time you want and not have to worry about cutting into someone else's time."

Again the room fell into silence as everyone quietly contemplated the task set before them. Jeff finally broke the silence. "Well, we should get going. Putting it off isn't going to make it any easier."

The family quietly made their way to the sickroom. They stopped outside the door. Jeff looked around. "All right, who would like to go first?"

The rest exchanged glances of their own before Gordon finally volunteered. "I'll go."

Jeff nodded. "Take your time."

* * *

Gordon stepped into the sickroom and paused just inside the door. Alan lay in the bed just as he had the entire week. Brains stood at the end of the bed looking over Alan's chart. 

Hope bloomed in Gordon. "Has there been a change?" He asked.

Startled, Brains looked up. Shaking his head, he answered. "No, I'm s-s-sorry. I was j-j-just checking his ch-ch-chart to make s-s-sure that I haven't m-m-missed something."

Gordon nodded. "Well, I'm glad that you were double checking. This is too big of a decision to make without it."

"I'm j-j-just sorry that I r-r-raised your h-h-hopes when you s-s-saw me with the f-f-file." Brains responded.

"You can't blame a guy for hoping." Gordon replied.

Brains nodded. "N-n-no, I can't bl-bl-blame you." Picking up the chart, he headed away from the bed. "I'll b-b-be in my o-o-office if you n-n-need me."

"Thanks Brains." Gordon answered. He waited until Brains was in his office and had closed the door before he sat down in the chair next to the bed.

Gordon picked up Alan's lifeless hand. "Hi, Alan, it's me." He stopped speaking as he fought with his emotions. "Who would have thought when we had that talk back when International Rescue first started about which extreme medical procedures that we would want if we were ever incapacitated, that we actually would end up here."

Gordon paused again. He took a deep breath and blinked rapidly trying to fight back the tears that were building. "I know that you don't want to live like this. Really, I do, but, God, this is so hard. I know that we have dangerous jobs, but since we have faced death in the past and have managed to squeak by, I guess I figured that for some reason we were invincible."

Lightening his tone, he asked. "I don't suppose that you would care to wake up and prove me right, would you?" After a few seconds with no response, Gordon mumbled. "No, I don't suppose that is possible."

"Anyways," Gordon continued. "The first thing I want you to know is that I am so sorry for any part that I played in all of this. Obviously from your letter, you must have overheard Virg and I in the storeroom. I can't think of any other conversation that you could have misunderstood what you were hearing. I'm not blaming you, though. I can fully understand that you were suffering guilt and pain of your own, and that clouded your perceptions. I know I said it earlier after dad read your letter, but I swear to God, that I didn't mean it the way that you perceived it. I thought I was being sarcastic to Virgil, but obviously the sarcasm wasn't clear enough since you didn't realize my true intentions. I can't believe that I was such an idiot. We all knew that something was bothering you. We just thought that if we gave you time that you would work through it. I should have known better. Instead of taking it as 'us giving you time', you took it as that we didn't care about you, or even worse, you thought that we wanted to get rid of you."

"I know. I know. I'm rambling. I can't seem to help it. I just don't know how to handle this. You're more than my brother. You're my best friend. How am I supposed to say goodbye to you? I know. I'm being selfish right now. I know this is what you want, but all I can think about is how lonely I will be without you. I guess that is just another indication of what a rotten brother I am to you."

"Well, anyways, I want you to know how sorry I am about how things turned out and how much I'm going to miss you." Gordon shook his head with a snort of disgust. "God, that sounds so unfeeling. I wish I could think of a big flowery speech to tell you how I feel, and you know that I can. I've done it in the past." Gordon laughed lightly. "You always said that I had the gift of gab. How'd you put it that one time? That I 'could charm a mink right out of his fur coat'? I guess I can only 'bull-shit' about stupid things. Now that it's something important. I can't think of anything to say. So, I'll just say it plainly. I love you, Alan, and I always will, even after you're gone. You're my brother, Alan, and I will miss you terribly. Those are two things that will never change, no matter what."

Gordon paused for a good minute to pull his final thoughts together. "Well, I guess that's it. I could stay and ramble on, but that won't accomplish anything. Plus, the rest of the family are waiting to have a chance to speak to you. Do me a favor though when you get to the other side, tell mom hello for me and that I love her."

Gordon headed towards the door. He reached out to open the door but stopped and turned back to look at Alan. "I just have to say this one more time. I love you, Alan. Please remember that always."

Gordon slipped out the door and leaned wearily against the wall. The conversation in the hall came to a stop when he exited the sickroom.

Jeff looked Gordon over. He seemed to have aged years in just the few minutes that he had been in the sickroom. "Gordon, are you okay?"

Gordon nodded but kept his gaze on the floor. "Yeah, it was just a lot harder than I had thought."

Jeff nodded in return. He looked around the hallway. "Okay, who's next?"

The occupants of the hall exchanged glances but no one volunteered. "Tin-Tin? How about you?" Jeff prompted.

Tin-Tin shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "No, I'm not ready."

Jeff gently placed a hand on Tin-tin's arm. "Putting it off isn't going to make it any easier."

Before Tin-Tin could respond, John volunteered. "I'll go, Dad."

Jeff looked over his shoulder at John. "Are you sure?"

John shrugged. "Somebody has to."

Jeff gave John a short nod and gave him a quiet "Okay".

John headed towards the door, but as he passed by Tin-Tin, she reached out and grabbed his arm. "Thank you, John."

John placed his free hand over her hand. "It's okay, Tin-Tin, but dad is right. Putting it off isn't the answer."

Tin-Tin brushed a tear away. "I know, but it's just so hard. I don't know if I can do it."

John pulled Tin-Tin into an embrace. "I know, but it has to be done. It would weigh on you the rest of your life if you didn't say goodbye."

Tin-Tin nodded as she pulled away from John. She brushed away some more tears but didn't say anything else.

John entered the sickroom and made his way to Alan's bedside. He glanced at the various monitors hoping against hope that there would be a change, any change to indicate an improvement. Unfortunately, there was none.

John sighed as he slumped slightly in the chair. "You know, when I was out in the hall waiting for Gordon, I planned out this whole speech in my head, but now I can't seem to remember it." John paused and stared at his fingers for a moment. "God, Alan, I never dreamed that I would be sitting at my **baby** brother's bedside telling him goodbye. I just always assumed that we would grow to be old men, even with the dangerous jobs we lead. I can't help but feel responsible for this after all. It was my accident that started this whole series of devastating events. I'm so sorry for my part in all this. I know that I yelled at you and blamed you early on, but it wasn't true. This wasn't your fault. I know that I apologized, but I should have made sure that **you** understood that I really didn't blame you. I know that I said it, but I was really scared at the time, and I was saying a lot of things that I didn't mean. I know you would never intentionally put me in danger. I can understand that you got distracted. Heck, that call would have thrown me a bit. Even though you try to hide it, I know that you have a sensitive side. I hear it each time you have to talk to the victims. They may think you're being totally professional while you're talking, but I know better. I know you. I can hear the concern in your voice. It's a part of you that makes you good at your job. You're going to leave a big hole in this organization and in this family. I guess that because you are the youngest that we kind of took it for granted that you knew how we felt about you. I'm sorry about that too. I know that this is really too late, but I want you to know how I feel. I **love** you, Alan, and I'm going to miss you when you're…when…oh, hell."

John dropped his head as he battled his emotions. When he spoke again, his voice was thick with unshed tears. "I swore to myself that I wouldn't break down when I talked to you, but it's really hard." A few tears managed to escape his eyes. "I can't stand the thought of life going on without you…to never see you smile or hear your laugh. I don't know what Gordon is going to do without his 'prank partner'. Maybe I should volunteer." John smiled slightly. "Can you picture that? Nah, neither can I."

John reached out and took Alan's hand and held it between his own. "I'm going to miss you so much. You've always lived life to the fullest no matter what you were doing, whether it was when you were racing a car or flying a Thunderbird. Of course, you always were a speed demon so those were understandable, but you were also willing to put your life on the line. I remember the time when you went out to lure that giant alligator away from the house that Scott was trapped in. You about gave us all a heart attack when you fell off your hoverbike and knocked yourself out. We were lucky that time that Gordon was able to tranq the beast. We've had a lot of luck on our side over the years." John's voice slowly lost volume. "I guess it just finally ran out."

John stared at his and Alan's intertwined fingers. He sighed heavily and began speaking again. "Well, I guess I've said the important things in between my hopping around my thoughts, but I'll still repeat it. I love you, Alan, and I'm going to miss you. I hope that you find the peace that you deserve."

John gave Alan's hand a squeeze before he gently laid the hand back on the bed. Rising up from the chair, he made his way to the door. Right before he exited the room, he paused and turned slightly. "Goodbye, Alan." He said quietly and then slipped out the door.

Once again, the conversation in the hall came to a halt when the sickroom door slid open. John shook his head. "I'm finished. Who's next?"

"I'll go." Tin-Tin volunteered.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Gordon asked.

Tin-Tin shook her head. "I'll never be 'ready'. I just need to do it. Putting it off is only making it worse."

John nodded. "I understand, honey. We'll be out here if you need us."

Tin-Tin pushed an errant lock of hair behind her ear. "Thank you, John. I'll keep that in mind." She then made her way into the sickroom.

John turned to the rest of his family. "So, what have you guys been talking about?"

Virgil sighed. "Alan…about different things that stick out in our memories."

"Did I interrupt a particular one?" John asked.

Scott supplied the answer. "We were talking about that one summer in Kansas when he entered that 'soap box derby'."

John nodded. "I remember that. He spent weeks working on that car."

"He was so proud of that car." Scott replied. "I helped him as much as he would allow me to. He wanted to do most of the work so that it would truly be 'his' car."

John thought for a moment. "Wasn't there that one big kid that was always picking on him in between the heats?"

"Yeah, even though they were the same age, that kid thought he was better because he was bigger." Gordon said.

"That's not it." Grandma interrupted. "It was the Miller boy, Bryan. He thought he was better than everyone else because his dad was the local bank president. He always treated people like he was better than everyone else, and he passed that trait on to his son."

"Well, Alan sure showed him by whomping his butt when they competed." Gordon smiled at the memory.

Grandma smiled. "He, as well as his father, just assumed that by 'buying' the most expensive derby car that they would automatically win."

"That just goes to prove what I have tried to teach you boys." Jeff began. "Money can't buy success. I could have bought him an expensive 'pre-assembled' car but that wouldn't have taught him anything. It also wouldn't have meant as much when he won."

"I wonder why Alan didn't keep up with the derbies." Gordon mused. "I know he was really proud of that trophy. He had it displayed prominently in his room for years."

"Probably because it didn't go fast enough." Virgil replied. "Do you remember when he was fourteen and tried to make his own 'motorized bicycle' by attaching an ATV motor to his bike?"

John laughed lightly. "Well, you can't fault his reasoning. He wasn't old enough to get a driver's license yet, but he had his bike. He just needed it to go faster."

Jeff shook his head. "If I remember correctly, the bike couldn't handle the extra speed, and he ended up crashing and breaking his ankle."

"That's our little speed demon." Gordon smirked.

"Well, if my memory serves," Grandma began. "His desire for speed got him in trouble more than once."

"That it did, Mother." Jeff replied. "That it did."

John turned to Scott. "I remember that time you came home from leave and drove that classic Camero, that you had restored in your off time, home. Alan was what? Sixteen at the time?"

Gordon shook his head. "He had just turned seventeen the month before. Scott was home for a birthday/Easter celebration."

"Oh, that's right." John responded. "He stole the Camero to impress his girlfriend."

"And someone keyed it while they were in the burger joint." Virgil added in.

Gordon shook his head. "I don't know what Alan was thinking. He took her out for hamburgers? Now, that's real impressive."

"Maybe she liked hamburgers." John laughed.

Virgil joined in the laughter with his brothers. "Who knows? I just remember the look on Scott's face when he saw the scratches. I thought that he was going to kill Alan right then and there."

Silence suddenly descended in the hallway. Virgil paled as realized what he had just said. "Oh, God, I am so sorry guys." He stammered out an apology. "I didn't mean it like it sounded. It just came out wrong."

Grandma moved next to Virgil and gently placed a hand on his cheek. "It's okay, Virgil. We know you didn't mean anything by it."

Virgil shook his head as he stared at the floor. "But it was so crass considering what is going on."

"Your grandmother is right." Jeff added. "You had a slip of the tongue. It just goes to show that you got lost in the memory for a moment. It's only natural. Don't beat yourself up about it."

Virgil nodded in response but still stared at the floor.

Gordon pushed himself away from the wall. "Well, I can't do this anymore."

Everyone turned to look at Gordon. Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Gordon?"

"I can't do **this**!" Gordon began to rant. "I can't stand here reliving memories, good or bad, knowing that Alan is going to die…that we are going to let him die."

Jeff took a step towards his son. "Gordon…"

"**NO!**" Gordon held a hand up to interrupt his father. "I can't just stand around here waiting. The thought of standing around Alan's bedside as the plug is pulled…watching my only little brother die…I can't do that."

"Gordon, I know this is hard for you." Jeff tried to comfort Gordon. "It's hard on all of us."

Gordon met his dad's gaze, and Jeff could see the tears that had filled his eyes. "I can't, Dad. I just can't. Please don't force me."

Jeff's gaze softened, and he spoke soothingly. "Son, I would never try to force you to do this if you feel this strongly about it. I can only imagine how hard this is for you considering how close you and Alan are."

Gordon brushed away a few tears that had managed to escape. "I'm not the only one who this is hard on. I know that." Shaking his head, he continued. "I'm sorry. I have to get out of here."

Jeff nodded. "Okay, son, you do what you have to. Do you want me to call you before…" His voice trailed off before he finished the question.

Gordon shook his head. "No, but I would appreciate a call to let me know when it's over."

"Do you want me to come with you?" John volunteered. "We can talk about…whatever."

Gordon sighed. "No, I just want to be alone right now." He turned and headed down the hall but paused when he heard Virgil call to him.

"Gordon, I'm sorry." Virgil said. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Gordon gave Virgil a weak smile. "It wasn't what you said. It's me. I have to work through this myself."

"Just remember, I'm here if you need to talk." Jeff interjected, followed by a chorus of affirmation from his brothers.

"I know." Gordon nodded as he turned and headed down the hall.

Author's Note – Well, folks, here we are. A new chapter!!! Yeah!!!! Are you all ready to kill us? You waited this long only to find out that Alan is dying. We are so mean.

There is a huge point that we NEED to make here. The decision to disconnect life support from a loved one is the hardest decision for a person to make. We watched as a loved one had to make that decision years ago. After a week of watching his wife lie in a hospital bed, he had to decide what really was best for her. It was a decision that he had to make, but it affected everyone around him, especially their children. We will be drawing from that experience over the next few chapters.

All right, we do have some MORE bad news to report. Summer is over and the kids are now back in school, BUT Convert's daughter has joined the volleyball team this year which means three to four games a week for the next eight weeks. (Her eyes about popped out of her head when she saw that schedule. Sigh…what we don't do for our kids.) Unfortunately, that will cut in BIG time into her "writing time". So, all in all, we will keep posting, but it won't be the once a week schedule like before. We feel like we are letting our faithful readers down, but we can only roll with the punches that life has thrown at us. Forgive us.


	29. More Goodbyes

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Author's Note – The end of this chapter deals with an "adult situation". We have tried to keep the description down to a minimum to remain in the "Teen" rating. We apologize in advance to anyone who finds it too suggestive and offensive.

Chapter 29 – More Goodbyes

Tin-Tin entered the sickroom. She by-passed the chair and carefully stretched out on the bed next to Alan. She gently ran her hand back and forth across Alan's chest. She opened her mouth to speak but found that her voice had closed off.

She cleared her throat and tried speaking again. "Alan, I…I love you. It's important for you to know that." She brushed away tears that escaped her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she continued. "Oh, God, Alan, why didn't you let me help? I keep trying to think if there was something I said or did that you could've misunderstood like you did with Virgil and Gordon. If there was, I am really sorry. I just wanted to help you, but maybe you thought I was being pushy."

Silence reigned as Tin-Tin stopped talking as she fought to keep control of her emotions. She snuggled closer into Alan. She listened to the steady beeping of the heart monitor as she continued to run her hand across Alan's chest.

After about ten minutes, Tin-Tin finally spoke again, but the emotion was evident in her voice. "I can't believe that it has come to this. I don't think that I can handle this. I can't say goodbye." Her tears began to flow heavily. "Please, Alan, don't leave me. I need you. Please come back to me."

Tin-Tin's tears dissolved into heavy heart-wrenching sobs when she got no reaction from Alan. In between her ragged breathing, she continued to plead with Alan. "Please, Alan, please…wake up…for me. Oh God…please don't take him…I need him…so much…please." She grabbed Alan's free hand. "Squeeze my hand, Alan…please." When she didn't get a response, she continued begging. "Anything, Alan…just do something…anything to show that you are waking up." Again, there was no response to her pleading.

Tin-Tin buried her face into Alan's chest and continued sobbing. "Alan…please…Alan…I love you…oh God…please…I can't…live without him…please…Alan…don't leave me…I need you…please…don't leave me…please, Alan…please…don't leave me…" She lost track of time as she cried and pleaded with Alan.

Eventually, Tin-Tin's tears were cried out. She lay next to Alan for a few more minutes. Her ragged breathing began to even out. Finally, she pulled herself off the bed. Taking a deep breath, she brushed away the remaining tears from her cheek. "Well, I guess there's nothing more to say." She leaned over and brushed a lock of hair back from Alan's forehead and gently placed a kiss on it. "Goodbye, Alan. I'll miss you. I love you." She turned and walked out the door without looking back.

Jeff and his sons noticed Tin-Tin's tear stained face as soon as she exited the sickroom. "Tin-Tin? Are you okay?"

Tin-Tin nodded but in a flat tone replied. "I will be, but for right now, I need to be alone." She turned and headed down the hall without giving anyone a chance to respond.

"God, she's really taking this hard." Virgil commented.

"You can't blame the poor thing." Grandma replied. "She's losing the love of her life before they really had a chance to build a life together."

John turned to his father. "Should one of us go after her? To comfort her?"

Indecision showed in Jeff's eyes, but he shook his head. "No, she said that she wanted some time alone. Let's give her some. I'll check on her later."

Grandma stood up from the chair that Scott had brought for her earlier. "Well, I think that I will take my turn now." She declared as she headed toward the sickroom door.

Jeff was quickly by her side. "Are you sure mother?"

Grandma nodded. "There's no sense in putting off the inevitable."

"Okay, Mother." Jeff replied. "But we will be out here if you need us."

"Thank you, dear." Grandma said as she stepped through the open doorway.

Jeff sighed heavily as the door closed behind his mother.

"Dad?" Virgil questioned. "Are you okay?"

Jeff wearily sat down in his mother's vacated chair. "I'm worried about her. Hell, I'm worried about everyone. I just don't know how this family is going to get through this."

"We'll get through it together." John replied. "It's the only way that we can."

"John's right." Scott added. "And don't worry about Grandma. She's a Tracy…she's tough."

Jeff shook his head. "I don't know about that. After your mother died, she was my mainstay in helping raise you boys. She's as close to you boys as if you were her own sons, and I of all people know what she is feeling right now."

Scott placed a hand on his father's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Jeff shook his head. "How can I be okay? I'm planning on killing my son…my own flesh and blood."

John knelt in front of his father. In a rarely used forceful voice, he said. "You listen to me, Dad. You are **not** killing Alan. He's already gone, but because of the machines, his body just hasn't shut down. He wouldn't want to stay like this. You are just honoring his wishes. You can't blame yourself for that."

Virgil nodded. "He's right. You can't blame yourself. It wasn't just your decision. We all talked about this. We **all** decided that this was for the best, especially for Alan."

Jeff looked around at his sons. "You're right, of course. But the closer we get to…well, I…" His voice drifted off.

Scott gripped Jeff's shoulder tighter. "We understand. None of us are looking forward to what is to come."

"I know. I know." Jeff replied quietly. "I'm sorry that I'm falling apart like this."

"It's understandable." John assured Jeff. "You're a father."

Jeff met John's eyes. He reached out and pulled John into an embrace. "I'm sorry. I **am** the father, yet I'm leaning heavily on my sons to get me through this. That's not right. I should be the one **you** are leaning on."

Virgil knelt next to the pair. He placed one hand on Jeff's back and the other hand on John's back. "We are leaning on you. You may not realize it, but you are our rock."

Jeff pulled back from John and looked at Virgil. "What if I'm not strong enough this time? What if your rock is crumbling?"

"Then we'll shore it up." Scott replied. "We'll all be there for each other. That's what we do. We're a family. We're Tracys."

Jeff looked at each of his three sons. "Thank you, I needed to hear that."

John and Virgil both stood and quiet conversations began again in the hall.

* * *

Grandma made her way to the end of Alan's bed. She placed her hands on her hips and sternly asked. "Alan Shepherd Tracy, just what are we going to do with you? I should turn you over my knee and give you a good paddling. What in the world were you thinking? Suicide? I thought you were stronger than that. You know. Everyone has been tiptoeing around this issue since it happened. Well, I'm not, young man. What you did was just plain selfish. Do you know how much pain you have caused your family? They're all blaming themselves. Now, I'm not saying that they are totally innocent, but neither were you. Sure, there were things that were said or done that upset you, but you could have stood up for yourself. There were so many options open to you. You could've confronted your brothers. If you had, maybe you and your brothers could've worked things out. You could have told them all to kiss your ass and left the Island if you had really wanted to. Your father would have gladly given you a job at one of his stateside offices or if you wanted to make a complete family break, you could have gone back into the space program or into racing. You were good at both of those. Yes, I know. The last time that you raced professionally, you and I were almost killed by that wacko driver that you beat. But that wasn't **your** fault. You didn't know that he and his mechanic would go off the deep end and try to steal your car. I don't know what they were thinking. Sure, they didn't know about the International Rescue connection, but your dad was still a rich and powerful man. He would have hired anyone he needed to determine what had happened. There's no way they could have gotten away with it." 

"Anyways, back to what I was saying. If you didn't want to work for your dad or do something from your past, you could have done something totally different. You're an intelligent, vivacious, young man. You could've done anything that you set your mind to. You should've **never** considered this. What the hell were you thinking?"

Alan remained unresponsive on the bed. Grandma dropped her hands and dejectedly sat down in the chair. "I'm sorry, Alan. I was hoping that if I got stern with you that you would wake up and try to defend yourself like you did when you were a kid. I do remember those times. You sure could spin a tale. **BUT** that doesn't mean that what I said wasn't true because it was. It didn't have to come to this. Why didn't you talk to somebody? Anybody? We could have helped you. **I **could have helped you."

Like her grandsons before her, Grandma reached out and picked up Alan's hand. She gently stroked the back of his hand as she spoke. "Oh, my dear Alan, I'm just not sure what to say. I could beg you to wake up for me, but I'm sure that you've heard that from each person who has come in here. I know Brains says that you're already gone, but that doesn't stop us from hoping that he is wrong. How about it, Alan? Will you wake up for your loving old Grandma? No? I guess not. If you were going to wake up for anybody, it would have been Tin-Tin. She's taking this really hard. We all are, but her feelings are different. She considered you her soul mate, and now it's being ripped away. She knows that she is losing a love that she'll never get again."

Grandma sighed as she put Alan's hand back on the bed. "It's hard to lose a family member. It's something that gets burned into your memory. I should know. I've lost my share of relatives: my parents, my brother, your grandfather, your mother, but I never expected to be sitting here at my **grandson's** death bed. It's just not right for the elders to outlive the young. It was hard enough when we lost your mother, but this…oh, I know that people would point out that you did this to yourself, and that it had nothing to do with the natural order of life, but it still feels wrong. If I could change places with you, I would. Yes, I know that's the last thing that you want to hear, but that's how much I love you. The rest of the family feels the same way, especially your father. He probably won't admit it to anyone, maybe not even to himself, but this is really tearing him up. I know my son too well. He feels like he failed you. I can see it every time I look in his face."

Grandma quietly ran her hands along the edge of the blanket trying to smooth out the wrinkles, both real and imaginary. After a few minutes of silence, she finally spoke again. "I'm not sure what else to say, but I don't really want to leave. I don't want to face what is coming up. I guess I could ramble on with stories and memories from your childhood, but that will only delay the inevitable. So, I guess I should go. You have two more brothers and a father that want to say goodbye." Her voice caught in her throat, but she forced herself to go on. "God, Alan, I'm not sure that I can handle this. I love you so much. To think of life without you…well, it's unimaginable. You've always been special to me. Don't get me wrong. I love all you boys, but you were different. I don't know if it is because you were the 'baby' of the family, or because you were just a baby when your mother died, or it could have been something as simple as your blond hair and blue eyes and your boyish, impish look that won my heart. You learned early on how to use that twinkle in your eyes to get out of trouble. My, you were a little scamp as a child."

Grandma paused again and let out a sigh. "Well, I'm letting myself get sidetracked. I can't allow myself to do that. It's not fair to the others. So, I'd better get going." She stood and kissed Alan on both his cheeks. "I love you, Alan, and I'm going to miss you when you're gone. As much as I hate the idea to lose you, I do know that it's for the best, that it's what you would want. I know that your father is right that you wouldn't want to live like this because neither would I. So I guess this is goodbye. When you reach the other side, tell your mother and grandfather that we love them and miss them." She made her way to the door. Just short of it, she stopped and turned back to look at her grandson. "Alan, I…I…" Her throat closed off as her voice choked with emotion. She brushed away the tears that had forced their way out. She sighed deeply and said. "I love you, Alan. Please remember that, and never doubt it. I'll see you again once I cross over, and at my age, I'm sure that it won't be that much longer. Goodbye, Alan." She pressed the access panel and the door slid open, and she stepped through it.

Once Grandma exited the room, she placed a hand on the wall for support. Jeff was at her side almost instantly. "Mother? Are you okay?" She raised her eyes to meet his. Jeff's heart ached even more as he saw the anguish radiating from his mother's eyes.

"Oh, Jeff…" Grandma began as she reached out for her son's arm. She suddenly found that she couldn't speak as the emotional dam that she had tried to build began to crumble. Tears began to flow down her weathered face as she began to visibly shake.

Jeff placed an arm around her shoulders and tried to guide her towards the chair. "Come on, mother. Why don't you have a seat?" Jeff became alarmed as his mother stumbled and fell heavily into him. Calling to his son, he said. "Scott, give me a hand here."

Scott moved to the other side of his grandmother. "It's okay, Grandma. The chair isn't that far. Lean on us. We'll help you."

Grandma's tears increased as Jeff and Scott guided her the few feet to the chair. Jeff's worry also increased as he watched his mother breaking down. He eased her into the chair. "There you go, mother. Take some deep breaths. It will be okay."

Grandma's head snapped up. "Okay? How can anything ever be okay? Alan is going to die, my poor Alan, my poor, poor Alan." Her tears turned into heavy sobs.

Jeff was taken aback slightly by his mother's outburst. He knew that she was emotionally distressed, but he also knew that at her age, that kind of distress wasn't healthy. He needed to do something to calm her down.

"Virgil, go get Brains." Jeff ordered. Then, without waiting for a response from Virgil, he knelt down and tried to calm his mother. "Please, mother, you need to calm down. This isn't good for you."

"I…Jeff…God…" Grandma tried to speak but ended up burying her face in her hands and sobbing even harder.

Jeff exchanged worried looks with his remaining sons. All of them were concerned with how much emotional strain that she could physically handle.

Suddenly, Brains was at Jeff's side. "Mr. T-T-Tracy?"

Startled, Jeff looked up at Brains. He had been so worried that he hadn't even heard Brains arrive. Jeff stood up. "Brains…good…mother is very upset. I'm worried."

Brains nodded and knelt down in front of the sobbing woman. "M-M-Mrs. Tracy, I w-w-would like to scan your v-v-vitals." After waiting a moment and not receiving a response, he ran the scanner in front of her. He frowned as he looked at the readings. Standing back up, he spoke to Jeff. "Sh-she needs to calm d-d-down. Her h-h-heart rate is too f-fast, as is her r-r-respiration. Although that is t-too shallow. She's n-n-not getting enough oxygen."

Jeff shook his head. "I've been trying to calm her down. It only seems to make her worse. She's just so upset about Alan."

"H-h-has she had a chance to s-s-say goodbye?" Brains asked.

Jeff nodded. "That's what has brought on this breakdown."

"That's underst-st-standable." Brains replied. "I w-w-would suggest then that she b-b-be sedated."

"I was thinking the same thing." Jeff remarked. "But I don't think it would be wise to put her in the sickroom. Can you sedate her in her own room?"

"I c-c-could." Brains answered. "Unfortunately, I would n-n-not be comfortable d-d-doing that unless someone is w-w-willing to stay with her."

"I'll stay with her." Scott immediately volunteered.

"No, Scott," John said before his dad had a chance to respond. "I'll stay with her. You haven't had a chance to say goodbye yet."

Scott was about to argue, but Jeff spoke up. "John's right. You need your time with Alan. You and Virgil stay here and say your goodbyes. Once we get your grandmother settled, I'll come back."

Scott just looked at the floor, so Virgil answered for both of them. "Yes, Father."

Jeff turned back to his mother whose harsh sobs had lessened slightly. "Come on, Mother. Let us help you to your room so you can rest."

John took his grandmother's side opposite his father. As they made their way down the hall, Scott and Virgil could hear their grandmother speaking through her tears. "Oh, Jeff…I'm so…sorry…my poor Alan…my poor baby…it's just…not right."

Jeff continued to try to comfort his mother. "I know. I know. Please try to calm down."

Scott leaned against the wall. He blew out a heavy breath. "God…I don't think that I have ever seen her this upset. Do you think she will be okay?"

Virgil sighed. "I'm sure that with time and plenty of love and support she will be…we all will be."

"Except for Alan." Scott replied bitterly.

"Scott…" Virgil began, but Scott cut him off.

"Yeah, I know." Scott said. "Alan wouldn't want to be kept alive like this…This isn't anybody's fault…it was Alan's choice. I've heard it all before, but I am **sorry**. I can't help but feel that I failed Alan. Look, why don't you go in and have your talk with him. That'll give me some quiet time to pull myself together."

Virgil knew that Scott was just trying to get rid of him, and he even debated about pressing the issue, but he opted to forego the inevitable argument that would have arisen if he kept pushing. "Okay, Scott, but if you need to talk about it, I'm here for you."

Scott nodded. "I know, and I will come to you if I need to."

Virgil returned the nod. "I'll hold you to that big brother." Virgil headed towards the sickroom door. Over his shoulder, he asked. "You're going to be here when I am finished, right?"

Scott nodded at the floor, but then lifted his eyes to meet his brother's questioning look. "Yeah, I'll be here." He quietly replied.

* * *

Gordon lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He had debated about going for a swim, but decided against it. Even though he normally swam to relieve stress, he couldn't justify it in his mind. If he didn't have the guts to stay with Alan to the end, he shouldn't be doing anything to make himself feel better. So he just decided to stay in his room. He had turned on some "relaxation" music on the stereo, but if wasn't working. Random memories of he and Alan flitted through his mind. He jumped when he heard a knock on the door. He lifted his head and frowned as he looked at it. 

"Maybe whoever it is will go away if I ignore them." Gordon thought to himself.

The knock sounded again. This time it was louder and more insistent.

"And then again, maybe not." Gordon thought wryly as he stood and made his way to the door. With an exasperated sigh, he hit the door sensor, and the door slid open.

Tin-Tin stood on the other side of the now-opened door. Gordon took in her tear-stained face and hollowed looking eyes. "Oh, honey," he quietly said as he opened his arms to her.

Tin-Tin stiffly stepped into Gordon's embrace. "I'm sorry. I know that you said that you wanted to be alone, but I didn't know where else to go. I really don't want to be alone, but I couldn't stay down in the sickroom. If you want me to leave, I will but I was hoping that I…" Her voice drifted off.

Gordon felt the rigidity in Tin-Tin. His heart dropped even more as he thought about the pain that she was going through. Even though Tin-Tin was Alan's girlfriend, she occupied a special place in his heart, a part that he never shared with anyone.

"It's okay." Gordon said as he guided her across his room. "You can stay here. We'll just sit and talk…or not talk whatever you want to do."

Tin-Tin sat on the bed next to Gordon. She brushed a few strands of hair away from her face as she began speaking. "I don't know what I should be doing, or feeling, for that matter. I mean…my boyfriend is dying, and I ran away. I couldn't stand to be in the room with him in his final minutes. What kind of person does that make me?"

"It makes you human." Gordon answered. "You're not the only one who 'ran away'. I did. So I know what you're feeling."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "But somehow it seems like I've failed him."

Gordon placed an arm around Tin-Tin's shoulders and pulled her into him. He gently rocked her back and forth. "You didn't fail him. You can only do what you can handle. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I promise. No one is going to think anything less of you."

Tin-Tin slipped her arms around Gordon and leaned into his chest. "It's not others that I'm so worried about."

Gordon used one hand to tip Tin-Tin's face up so he could look in her eyes. "Tin-Tin, can you tell me what's really bothering you?"

Tin-Tin's eyes begged Gordon for understanding. "I'm not upset enough."

Confusion crossed Gordon's face. "I don't understand."

"Look at me." Tin-Tin started in exasperation. "I should be falling apart, but here I am. I'm not crying. I'm not…"

"But you were crying." Gordon interrupted. "I can see it in your face."

Tin-Tin shook her head and tried to avert her eyes. "That was in the sickroom, but since then…"

"So, you were upset when you were in the sickroom?" Gordon asked when Tin-Tin's voice drifted off.

Tin-Tin gave a laugh of disgust. "Upset? Hysterical was more like it. I was sobbing and begging. I was crying so hard that I could barely breathe. I thought I would never stop. But then…I did, and that was it. No more tears, no more hysterics, no more nothing. I don't feel upset. I don't feel sad. I don't feel anything."

Gordon tried to move Tin-Tin's face back to look at him, but she resisted. "Tin-Tin, look at me." He quietly ordered. When she did relent and met his eyes, he continued. "What you are experiencing is totally understandable. It's another human reaction. You had an emotional outburst in the sickroom, and from what you said, it was a pretty heavy one. Sometimes in cases like this, a person's mind will shut down the emotional side to prevent an overload. It's a natural protective reaction. You will start feeling again once your mind deems it to be safe."

Tin-Tin gave Gordon a small smile. "Thank you for understanding." She reached up and pulled Gordon's head down slightly and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Gordon pulled back a little and gazed deeply into her eyes. "You're welcome." He mumbled. Without conscious thought, Gordon's head lowered and he softly met her lips with his own. He was shocked when Tin-Tin responded to the kiss. It grew deeper and more intense. When they broke apart to take a breath, Gordon tried to speak. "Tin-Tin…"

"Shut up." Tin-Tin ordered as she pulled Gordon into another long, hungry kiss.

Time stood still as they lost themselves in their kisses. Their hands began to explore each other. Gordon finally came to his senses as he realized that a growing desire had settled in his groin. "Stop!" He said as he pushed Tin-Tin back some. "If we don't stop now, I won't be able to stop."

Tin-Tin moved back closer. "I don't want you to stop." She said huskily.

Gordon pushed her back again although the pressure between his legs continued to grow. "Don't do this to me, Tin-Tin. It isn't right. You don't really want me. You're just reacting to the situation."

"Please, Gordon, don't turn me away." Tin-Tin begged. "I need this. I **need** to feel. I **need** you to help me feel."

Gordon closed his eyes and tried to think. His mind was screaming not to do it, but his body was continuing to respond to Tin-Tin's touch. Her pleading only served to awaken the secret desire in Gordon. Groaning, Gordon threw out his rational thinking and just let his natural bodily instincts take over.

The two lost themselves in hard, hungry kisses as they pulled at each others clothes and moved further onto the bed. As their bodies intertwined, neither were concerned with "pleasing" the other. This was not an act of love. This was simply an act of trying to achieve an emotional reaction through a physical act. It was almost animalistic as they desperately clawed at each other. Gordon kissed Tin-Tin's neck and shoulders. She arched her back as Gordon entered her. Her low moans spurred him into a faster rhythm. In a matter of minutes, Gordon heard Tin-Tin exclaim "Oh God" as a shudder ran through her body. Her bodily reaction pushed Gordon over the edge. He groaned and buried his face in Tin-Tin's shoulder as he reached his own climax.

Gordon moved off of Tin-Tin and sat on the edge of his bed. He held his head in his hands as he contemplated what he had just done. Tin-Tin quietly moved past him and off the bed. She began to redress. He tried to look at her, but shame filled him.

"Tin-Tin, I am so sorry." Gordon said while studying the floor.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." Tin-Tin replied as she buttoned up her blouse.

Gordon shook his head. "But I took advantage of you during your time of grief."

Tin-Tin knelt in front of Gordon. "**You** did **not** take advantage of me. You wanted to stop, but I was the one who wanted to press on. If anything, **I** was the one who took advantage of **you**."

Gordon met Tin-Tin's gaze. "But, I…"

Tin-Tin placed a finger on Gordon's lips. "No, don't say anymore. You were there for me when I needed you. For that I will always be grateful. Now, no more self-recriminations over this."

Gordon nodded. "Okay, no more self-recriminations." He said quietly.

Tin-Tin gave him a small smile. "Good, now I think that I'm going to take a walk. Do you want to join me?"

"Nah, I'd better not." Gordon answered. "Even if I'm not in the sickroom, I have this feeling that I should stay close. I can't really explain it."

"There's no need." Tin-Tin replied. "I think I understand." With that she left the room.

Gordon couldn't shake his feeling of foreboding. Chalking it up to Alan's impending death, he grabbed his clothes and headed to the shower, hoping to wash away some of his apprehension.

* * *

Author's Note: Okay, we are sure that we have a lot of readers who are angry over that last scene. Our second beta was just having a fit. That scene came as a result of an off handed coment by one of our readers (who we will let remain anonymous), and the muse just ran with it. No matter how hard we tried to fight against it, it kept insisting on it. It's a hard thing to explain to people about the muse. Unless you have been a victim of an overbearing muse, it's something that most people don't understand. We usually just say that we don't write the story. The story tells us what to put on the paper. So, anyways, please don't be too hard on us.

Again, thanks for all the reviews. We do appreciate them. We were touched by all the ones from people who have gone through similiar experiences and were willing to share them. We offer our sympathies. We know from personal experience that it is a hard thing to do. For the one anonymous reviewer who accused us of murder, this isn't the forum to debate the "pull the plug", "right to life", or "brain death" issues. We don't intentionally set out to upset our readers, so if it is upsetting to you, we would prefer that you quit reading the story rather than be upset.

We also want to thank our readers for their patience with all the unfortunate delays. You guys have been great about it.


	30. Final Goodbyes

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 30 – Final Goodbyes

Virgil sat next to Alan's bedside. He had been sitting in silence for the past few minutes. He listened to the steady beeping of the heart monitor and watched the rhythmic rise and fall of his brother's chest.

Leaning forward slightly, Virgil began speaking. "I'm not really sure what to say to you. I mean, I know that I want it to be more than just 'I love you. I'll miss you. Goodbye.' There's so much more to it." Pausing slightly, he continued. "I do love you, Alan, more than I can say. I wish I had told you that more often. I wish that you knew how I really felt, but now it's too late. I can say it over and over until I'm blue in the face, but you're not here anymore to hear it. I will cherish all the memories that I have of you, from that inquisitive toddler who kept getting himself in trouble, to the young teenager with his first serious crush, to the fast track rookie making a name for himself on the racing circuit, finally to my co-worker, a young man, mature beyond his years who, without a second thought, was willing to lay his life down for total strangers."

Virgil sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face. "You were an important part of the team. I know that because of a series of misunderstandings, you didn't feel that way at the end, but it is the truth. I just wish that we had a second chance to prove it to you, but I guess that's the way it was meant to be. Life can be stingy when it comes to second chances."

Virgil stood and began pacing. "God, I feel like I'm rambling. There's so much that I want to say, but I can't seem to formulate my thoughts into coherent sentences. I wonder if the others had this much trouble saying goodbye. I know that it's been emotionally distressing for everyone so far. I can understand it because I'm battling my emotions." Virgil ran a hand over his face. "I don't suppose the chance to see your big brother crying is enough incentive to wake you up." Pausing a moment, he continued. "No, how about guilt? Will you wake up if I tell you that grandma was so upset that she had to be sedated?"

Virgil sat back down heavily. "I don't know why I'm talking to you like that. Brains says that you're already brain dead. These 'talks' are just supposed to bring us closure. It's not working. Dad has tried to tell us not to blame ourselves. Hell, we've told each other that, but we're not believing it. At least I'm not. I am so sorry about my part in all of this. You must have felt so alone. I can only imagine the pain that you have suffered over these past couple of months."

A few tears fell from Virgil's eyes, which he wiped away. With a small chuckle, he said. "Well, here are the tears, and you missed it." Getting serious again, he continued. "I just don't know how to handle this. When mom died, I was a child, and I grieved like a child would grieve. This, though, is totally different. Your passing is going to leave such a hole in my life. I will never stop missing you…not ever."

Virgil stared at his hands as he fiddled with his fingers. "I'm not sure what else to say. I could ramble on about different things, memories, feelings, whatnot. None of that will do any good, now will it? Anyways, I hope that wherever you are, you know how much I cared about you."

Virgil blinked rapidly to try to keep the building tears at bay. He scanned the sickroom before sighing heavily. "Well, I guess I should go and let Scott and dad have their chance to say goodbye, but I'm having a hard time bringing myself to leave. I know that I'm only putting off the inevitable, but…" His voice trailed off. He sat in silence for a few minutes before he stood and moved directly next to Alan's bed. He gripped Alan's hand in one of his own. "I'm sorry that it came to this. I guess I am feeling extra guilty. I was so close to stopping you. If I had only gotten to you a few seconds earlier, things would have been different. Losing mom as young as we did, we were always told that she was our special 'angel' to look out for us. I don't know if that is true or not. I hope it is, and that you will join her in watching over us. Goodbye, Alan."

* * *

Virgil exited the sickroom to find Scott, still alone, pacing in the hallway. "Dad's not back yet?" He asked the obvious question.

Scott shook his head. "No and neither is Brains. I hope that doesn't mean that they ran into a problem with grandma."

Virgil shook his head. "I'm sure that they just want to be sure that she is settled before coming back."

Scott took in Virgil's strained face. "Are you okay?"

Virgil gave a short nod. "It's just a lot harder than I had imagined."

"Well, you should have figured that it would be rough considering everyone else's reaction." Scott said.

Virgil shook his head. "It's one thing to know it in your mind, but it's totally different to actually go through with it. You'll see. You're up next."

Scott looked at the closed sickroom door and then back at Virgil. "I'm not going in there."

"What?" Virgil exclaimed. "You can't mean that. You have to go in."

Scott shook his head. "No, I've been thinking about it, and I think this is for the best."

"Best for whom?" Virgil spat out. "For Alan? Or for you?"

Scott leaned against the wall and stared dejectedly at the floor. "It's for Alan's sake. After the way I treated him, he wouldn't want me anywhere near him. I'm just trying to respect his wishes."

"Bullshit!" Virgil spat out.

Scott stiffened at Virgil's tone. "Virgil, I…"

Virgil held up a hand as he interrupted his brother. "Don't Scott. Don't even try to justify this. You don't think I know what is going on? You're hiding, just like you've been hiding for the past week."

Scott shook his head. "I don't know what you are talking about. I'm not hiding. I've been here all week."

Virgil got right in Scott's face. "And how many times have you actually gone in and sat with Alan? Once? Twice? You don't really think that the rest of us have been blind to how you have 'conned' your way out of most of your shifts sitting with Alan. Well, this is one time that you can't 'con' you way out of. You need to do this not just for Alan but for yourself."

Scott bowed his head. When he spoke, his voice was filled with emotion. "You're right. I have been hiding. I've been afraid that my presence would be upsetting to Alan and that something bad would happen like when he flat lined."

Virgil softened his tone. "Scott, why haven't you shared these fears?"

Scott shrugged. "I guess I was afraid no one would understand. After all, I did treat Alan horribly. I feel responsible. I'm just not sure that Alan wants me around, even in this situation."

Virgil shook his head. "Scott, we all would have understood. We've all been battling our own feelings of guilt. None of us are blameless in this situation."

"But at least you can claim that he misunderstood you." Scott argued. "I can't. There was no misunderstanding the things that I said."

"Yeah, but we ignored his cries for help." Virgil argued back. "We all knew something was wrong when he was isolating himself up on five, but we didn't do anything. We just left him to work this out for himself. Well, he didn't. So, we are just as responsible as you are."

"You're brother's right." Jeff's voice interrupted before Scott had a chance to respond.

Both Scott and Virgil jumped slightly in surprise. They had been so involved in their conversation that neither had noticed his return.

"Dad," Scott replied. "How long have you been here?"

Jeff moved closer to his two sons. "Long enough to know that you are allowing your guilt to keep you from taking your last chance to speak to Alan."

"And you think I'm wrong." Scott said simply.

"I know you're wrong." Jeff answered him. "You're allowing your emotions to rule you. There's been a lot that going on lately and look where that has gotten us."

Scott shook his head. "I just don't know…"

Jeff interrupted his son. "Scott, I do understand what you're feeling right now. Really, I do. I also know that if you don't take this opportunity to say goodbye that eventually there will come a time that you will regret it."

Scott sighed and stared at the floor without responding to his father.

Jeff placed a hand on Scott's shoulder. "Please, son, I don't want to see you set yourself up for hurt later. It doesn't have to be a long talk, just enough to give you closure."

Scott nodded slightly. "Okay, Dad, I'll try."

"We'll be out here when you're done." Virgil said, trying to encourage his brother.

Scott gave his brother a wan smile, and then he entered the sickroom. Once the door was closed behind him, Virgil shook his head. "I'm glad that you showed up when you did, Dad. I don't think that I could've convinced him to go in there."

"Sure you could." Jeff replied. "Besides, you're the only one who could get in his face like that without getting decked."

Virgil reddened slightly. "Oh…you heard that?"

Jeff nodded. "I heard the yelling when I got off the elevator. I hurried to break up a fight, but you seemed to have defused it nicely on your own."

Virgil ducked his head. "Well, I'll admit that I did lose my temper when he first said that he didn't want to see Alan, but then when he talked about being afraid, I kind of lost my head of steam. I know how hard that was for him to admit."

Jeff patted Virgil's back. "You're a good brother, Virgil. I'm sure that Scott is grateful."

Virgil reddened again at the compliment. He then changed topics. "How's grandma?"

Jeff nodded. "She's doing better. Her vitals came back down once the sedative took effect. Hopefully, she will be in more control when she wakes up."

"I'm sure she will." Virgil replied. "She's tough. I really think that it was just saying goodbye that drove her over the edge. I'm sure that she will feel better once she gets some rest."

"You're probably right." Jeff responded. Their conversation then dissolved into trivial matters as they waited for Scott to exit the sickroom.

* * *

Scott stood just inside the sickroom door. He silently observed his youngest brother. He so did not want to be there. Even though his family was trying to take part of the responsibility, Scott knew that he was mostly to blame. If he had shown even the least amount of understanding things could have turned out very different. He also knew that he would have to live with his guilt for the rest of his life.

Sighing, Scott moved to the chair and sat down heavily. He opened his mouth to speak but found no sounds coming out. He briefly toyed with the idea of just leaving after about five minutes without speaking. He shook his head. It wouldn't work. He may be able to fool his family, but his father was right. Eventually, he would regret not saying goodbye to Alan.

"Pull yourself together." Scott demanded of himself. "You can do this. You **have** to do this."

Clearing his throat, Scott quietly said. "Hey, Alan, it's me…Scott." He paused for a moment before continuing. "You probably don't want to hear a single word that I have to say. I can understand that, but there are a few things that I do need to say. First off, I am so sorry for the way that I treated you. I know. Earlier this week, during one of my few visits, I tried to explain to you that I was ill myself. I also know that's no excuse. I don't want you thinking that I am trying to shirk my responsibility. I know that I am to blame, and I will have to deal with it."

"Secondly, I want you to know that I love you. It didn't seem like it over the past couple of months, and again, I'm sorry. You should never have had to doubt my love for you. After all, you are my baby brother. I helped take care of you from the time you were born. Okay, maybe not from right when you were born since I was only five, but at least from when you were a toddler. I remember changing a few diapers. Only the wet ones though, grandma wouldn't let me change the crapped ones because she didn't think I could 'clean' your bottom well enough and was afraid that you would get a rash. She'd also double check you after I gave you a bath too, just 'to be sure'." Scott shook his head and smiled slightly. "That was some fun. You were probably a year and a half old, maybe pushing two, but you sure did love to splash. Grandma used to say that I might have just as well climbed into the tub with you since I couldn't have gotten any wetter."

Scott allowed himself to draw a small measure of comfort from the memories. He sobered as he forced himself back to the present. "Lastly, I want you to know that I'm going to miss you. God, you'll never know how much. I'll never again be able to ruffle your hair when we're joking around, slap you upside your head when you pull a bone-headed prank, or pull you into a brotherly hug when I'm proud of you. I have been proud of you. I probably never told you that enough. Damn this 'macho' Tracy pride. There's so much that I should have said to you, but I didn't. I didn't want to appear weak in your eyes. But now it's too late. I've lost my chance. The only consolation that I have is that you will be somewhere where no one can hurt you ever again, especially me."

Scott's eyes filled with tears, and his voice choked with emotion. "God, Alan…I'm sorry…I just…I…Alan…" Running a hand over his face, he looked away from his dying brother. He cleared his throat again and forced himself to speak. "Look, I have to go. I can't…I mean…I just have to leave." Scott turned and left the room in a hurry. Because of his haste, he missed seeing Alan's fingers lift off the bed, just a little and just for a second, before falling limply back on to the bed.

* * *

Jeff and Virgil turned towards the door as it slid open and Scott hurriedly exited the room. Virgil was taken back by the tears that shone in his brother's eyes. Virgil knew that their father had also noticed when he heard Jeff ask. "You okay, Scott?"

Scott nodded. "Yeah, I'm all right. It was hard though, harder than anything I've ever had to do."

"I'm sorry, Scott." Jeff began, but Scott interrupted.

"No, Dad," Scott said. "You were right. It was something that I needed to do. I couldn't run away from this."

Jeff nodded. "Okay, well, I guess it's my turn." He headed towards the door but stopped. He turned and looked at his two sons.

Virgil nodded and gave his father what he hoped was an encouraging look. "We'll be here when you're finished."

Jeff looked at the door and then back to his sons. He sighed and hung his head. "No use putting off the inevitable." He then quietly entered the sickroom.

* * *

Jeff sat in the same chair used by everyone else. He picked up one of Alan's hands and held it between his own. He lifted all three hands up and rested his forehead on them as his elbows rested on the bed. "God, Alan, this is the hardest decision I have ever had to make, and I'm still not sure that I made the right one. My head keeps telling me that it is right, that you wouldn't want to be kept alive like this, but my heart is saying something totally different. Of course, it's understandable. I thought that losing your mother was the worst thing that could happen to me, but this is so much worse. You're my son. It was my job to protect you, and I failed you. I keep wondering where I went wrong in raising you. I thought that I had raised you to be strong and self-reliant, but since this happened; I know that I was mistaken. Was I too involved in my work? Did I rely too much on your brothers to help raise you? It really doesn't matter now. We can't change what has been done. I wish I could. You don't know how badly I wish I could go back and change just even my actions in this whole situation."

"I know that I am rambling, but I am just at a loss here. How am I supposed to say goodbye to my son…my baby? It's just not right that a parent should outlive a child. I never expected too. I know that sounds strange considering the job that you and your brothers do and all the close calls that you've had. I've just always had such good luck in the business world, and in some sort of egotistical way, I figured that same good luck would spill over into my personal life. I thought I was invincible. I know that sounds really strange considering that I lost your mother at an early age. I guess that just proves what a stupid, old fool I am. I just buried my head in the sand concerning the dangers that you boys face both physically and emotionally. I'm sorry. I am so sorry for failing you…for failing all of you."

Jeff felt his own tears build in his eyes. He reached out with one hand and ran it through Alan's hair. "Oh, my precious son, I can't imagine what life is going to be without you. To not see your smile or hear your laugh, it just won't be right. We're going to miss you on the job too. You were our most versatile member. You traded off with John between Thunderbird Three and Thunderbird Five, and you have even stood in for Scott a couple of times with Thunderbird One. You're going to leave a pretty big hole in my life."

Jeff ran a hand over his face. "Well, I'm the last one to say goodbye. I have no idea what the others have said. It was probably a lot like what I have done…rambling on, hoping to say something meaningful, but I think that's impossible. There's just no 'meaningful' way to say goodbye, especially in this case. You were in so much pain. I hope that you have found your relief. I love you, my son. I will until the day that I die. Give my love to your mother. Goodbye for now. We'll be back in for the end. I promise. You won't die alone."

* * *

Jeff exited the sickroom. He leaned against the wall and stared at the ceiling.

"Dad?" Scott questioned.

Jeff meet Scott's questioning gaze. Indecision shone in his eyes. "Am I really doing the right thing? Maybe I should give it some more time. What if I'm wrong? I can't take this back. It's all so final."

Virgil moved next to his father. "Dad, it is a scary prospect of having 'to pull the plug' on a loved one, and doubts are going to abound. It's natural, but you have to trust Brains. He ran all those tests and even consulted with another specialist before giving you Alan's prognosis. He wouldn't steer us wrong. Delaying this is only prolonging the inevitable."

Jeff nodded. "I know you're right, but it's just…" His voice trailed off.

"We understand." Scott replied. "Really, we do, but nothing is going to make this any easier."

Jeff nodded. "Well, I need to contact the other boys and let them know that it's time."

Virgil and Scott stayed by the door as Jeff moved down the hall in order to get a bit of privacy.

* * *

Brains waited in his office until Jeff had left the sickroom. He slipped out of his office and stepped to Alan's bedside. "I w-w-won't be too long, your f-f-family will be back in sh-sh-shortly. I just w-w-wanted to say how sorry I am about h-h-how things have t-t-turned out. I f-f-feel like I have f-f-failed you. If I hadn't m-m-missed that one b-bl-bleeder, you probably w-w-would not be in this c-c-condition. I also w-w-wanted to say that I w-w-will miss you. You, l-l-like all your f-f-family, took me in, and l-l-looked past my i-id-idiosyncrasies. You m-m-made me feel like a p-p-part of your family. It m-m-meant a great d-d-deal to me. Well, th-th-that is all I h-h-have to say. I w-w-will wait for your f-f-family in m-m-my office." Brains returned to his office and for once just sat at his desk and did absolutely nothing.

* * *

Jeff had moved away from Scott and Virgil a little to contact the other boys. He contacted Gordon first. "Gordon, it's time. I wanted to let you know in case you changed your mind about being here…"

Jeff didn't get any further before Gordon, shaking his head, broke in. "No, Dad, I haven't changed my mind. I know that makes me a coward, but I just can't do it."

"That's okay, Gordon." Jeff assured his son. "I do understand, but I would like for you to do something for me."

"What?" Gordon asked warily.

"Go to your grandmother's room and relieve John so he can come back here if he wants." Jeff said.

"Grandma?" Gordon asked in alarm. "What happened to Grandma?"

"Calm down, Gordon." Jeff said as he began to explain. "Your grandmother is okay at the moment, but she was so upset after talking to Alan that she had to be sedated. I really don't want her to be alone for the time being."

Gordon nodded. "Okay, Dad, I'll head right there."

"Thanks, Gordon." Jeff replied. "I'll let John know." He disconnected the call with Gordon and connected a call to John. "John, it's time." He said simply.

"But what about Grandma?" John asked.

"Gordon is on his way to her room." Jeff answered. "He's going to sit with her so that you can return to the sickroom."

John nodded. "Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes."

Jeff returned the nod. "Okay, I'll see you then." He disconnected that call and contacted Tin-Tin. He could tell by the background that she was outside. "Tin-Tin, sweetheart, it's time. I just wanted to make sure that you haven't changed your mind."

Tin-Tin shook her head and brushed a couple of tears away from her eyes. "No, I haven't changed my mind."

"Will you be okay alone?" Jeff asked. "Or should I send someone to be with you during this time?"

Tin-Tin shook her head again. "No, I'll be fine. I don't want to take anyone away from Alan."

Jeff nodded his head. "Okay, but if you need to be around someone, Gordon is in grandma's room taking care of her. You can always go there."

"Thank you, Mr. Tracy." Tin-Tin replied. "I'll keep that in mind."

Jeff disconnected the call to Tin-Tin. The three Tracys stood quietly in the hall and waited for John to join them, which he did in a few minutes. The four exchanged glances with each other. None wanted to make the first move. Finally, Jeff sighed. "It's time." He then entered the sickroom and headed to Brains' office while the brothers headed towards Alan's bed.

Brains followed Jeff to the bed. He did a quick scan of the monitors but didn't notice any change. He looked around at the gathered family. Jeff had taken the seat next to Alan's bed. He had already picked up Alan's hand. John stood behind his father and rested a hand on one of his dad's shoulders. Virgil was sitting in another chair that he had brought to the opposite side of the bed from Jeff. He was holding Alan's other hand. Scott stood at the end of the bed with his arms crossed, and he had his head bowed as he stared at the foot of the bed.

Jeff gently stroked Alan's hand. Quietly, he spoke. "We're back, Alan. I promised that you wouldn't be alone, and you're not. I hope that you are at peace. We love you. Goodbye, my son." Jeff stood for a moment and leaned over and gently placed a kiss on Alan's forehead. He sat back down and gave Brains a short nod.

"One th-th-thing, Mr. T-T-Tracy." Brains began. "M-m-most likely, d-d-death won't b-b-be instant-t-tanious. Like how a sw-sw-swinging pendulum sl-sl-slowly comes to a st-st-stop, his h-h-heart will c-c-continue to b-b-beat albeit sl-sl-slower and slower until it st-st-stops. He m-m-may even take a b-br-breath or two, but that is j-j-just a muscle r-r-reflex. It is n-not true br-br-breathing."

"How long will it take?" Virgil asked huskily.

Brains shook his head. "Every p-p-person is d-d-different. It can r-r-range from a f-few seconds to ten m-m-maybe fifteen m-m-minutes."

Brains' heart broke as he looked around at the anguished faces of these men whom he had grown to love. They were more than close friends. He considered them family. After getting one last affirming nod from Jeff, Brains reached over and turned off the ventilator. He also reached over and disconnected the ventilator hose from the endotrachial tube.

Jeff bowed his head as tears fell from his eyes. As predicted by Brains, he could still hear the monitor beeping with every beat of Alan's slowing heart. He also heard the hiss of air as Alan reflexively drew in a breath.

Brains looked around again at the grieving family. He took in Jeff's bowed head, and he could have sworn that he saw a tear drop on to the bed. John stood behind him with his face turned to the ceiling, and tears ran unashamedly down his face. Virgil found the corner of the room very interesting. He was also blinking rapidly trying to keep his tears at bay. Scott had turned away from the bed and was taking deep breaths in an effort to control his emotions. Brains himself removed his glasses and wiped at the tears that had escaped his eyes.

The heart monitor continued to beep, but Jeff wasn't paying much attention to it. He heard another hiss as Alan drew in another breath. He gripped Alan's hand tighter in his own, but he was shocked to feel Alan's hand tighten slightly around his. He jerked his head up to look at his son. Alan's eyes were half opened. Jeff could see the fear radiating from them, and he heard another hiss as Alan drew another breath through the tube.

Jeff leapt to his feet, startling his sons. "Alan!" He practically yelled. "Oh my God, Alan! You're awake! I can't believe it. Thank God, you're awake!"

* * *

Author's Note - He's awake! Yeah!!!! Everybody breathe a big sigh of relief. (Unless you aren't an Alan fan and was really hoping that he would die, and we know of at least one reader that is like that. You know who you are. ;-) , eggplant. )

Okay, another point that we want to make. Just because we had Alan wake up after Brains had given up on him does not mean that we feel that will happen in all cases. Most doctors that have patients in this position are right. If this story was real, this case would have been considered a "miracle". We only took "poetic" liscense and created this senario. Please do not take this to be "medically" gospel.

We hope that you enjoyed this chapter. We want to thank all our reviewers including our anonymous ones. We do appreciate the ones that we get.


	31. A Miracle

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 31 – A Miracle

Chaos reigned in the sickroom. Almost everyone seemed to be yelling at once. As Jeff, John and Virgil crowded around the bed, Alan's heart rate and respirations increased as his confusion and fear grew. He reflexively began to gag on the tube in his throat. "Alan, calm down." Jeff tried to calm his son. Turning to Brains, he demanded. "Brains, do something!"

Brains pushed past Virgil to get next to the bed. He was checking the monitors and Alan's vitals while at the same time talking to Alan. "P-p-please, Alan, you m-m-must calm d-d-down."

Alan tried to tighten his grip on his father's hand as his growing fear began to overwhelm him.

Brains looked at Jeff. "T-t-talk to him, M-M-Mr. Tracy. It's im-im-imperative that he c-c-calms down."

Jeff nodded. He leaned over his son so that he could look Alan directly in the eye. He ran his free hand gently through his hair. "Alan, listen to me. You have to calm down. You've been on a ventilator and the tube is still in your throat. Don't fight it. I know it's hard, but concentrate on breathing through it. Once you get your breathing under control, we can see about removing it."

Alan continued to weakly grip his father's hand, but Jeff could see in his eyes that he understood and was trying to bring his breathing under control. Slowly, his heart rate and respirations returned to a more normal range.

John and Virgil also quietly encouraged Alan, until Virgil noticed that Scott had not joined them. Looking around the sickroom, he saw Scott pressed against the wall opposite the bed. Virgil moved to in front of his oldest brother. He took in the haunted look on Scott's face as well as the few tears on his cheek. "Scott? Are you okay?"

Scott blinked a couple of times before focusing his gaze on Virgil. "I can't believe it. He's awake."

Virgil smiled. "Yeah, he is. Isn't it great?"

"I…I…" Scott began, but he found he was having trouble articulating his thoughts. He blinked rapidly as more tears forced themselves from his eyes.

Virgil started to get concerned. "Hey, Scott…" He began, but Scott cut him off.

Scott shook his head. "I have to get out of here." He said as he pushed past Virgil.

"Wait, Scott, don't go." Virgil said, but Scott continued out the door. He debated about going after him, but after one look at Alan, he decided that it was more important for him to stay. He moved back to his brother's bedside.

The head of Alan's bed was raised so he was in a more upright position, and Jeff was quietly encouraging him. "That's it Alan. You're doing good…just breathe." He looked over at Brains and asked. "Well, Brains?"

Brains nodded. "He's d-d-doing better." He placed a stethoscope on Alan's chest. "Alan, I w-w-want you to t-t-take as deep a b-b-breath as p-possible and exhale."

Alan followed the order and took in a breath. It wasn't as deep as normal, but it was the best he could manage.

Once Alan had exhaled, Brains repositioned the stethoscope on the opposite side of his chest. "Again, p-p-please." He listened and then nodded as he pulled the stethoscope from his ears. "I th-think that the t-t-tube can be r-r-removed s-safely."

Jeff smiled. "You hear that, Alan? We'll get that tube out and you'll feel a whole lot better."

Alan gave his dad a small nod. He closed his eyes and tried to force himself to relax even more, but it was only a matter of seconds before Brains was talking to him again.

"O-o-okay, Alan," Brains began. "On the c-c-count of three, I w-w-want you to take a d-d-deep breath and ex-exhale as forcible as you c-c-can as I p-p-pull the tube out. D-d-do you understand?"

Alan nodded slightly again.

Brains reached over and grabbed the end of the tube and began counting. "One…t-t-two…three."

Alan took a breath and blew it out. He could feel the tube moving in his throat. His gag reflexes kicked in again. Time seemed to crawl by for Alan even just for the few seconds it was taking. Once the tube cleared his lips, he tried to take a deep breath. Unfortunately, his instinctive gagging turned into a coughing fit. He felt an oxygen mask being placed over his nose and mouth and felt the cool oxygen flow as it moved through it. He could also hear his father talking to him.

"Take it easy, Alan." Jeff said. "Come on. Relax your breathing. You're going to be okay."

It seemed to take forever to Alan, but in reality it was just a few moments before he eventually was able to bring his breathing back under control.

"Wha' h-happen?" Alan stammered out in a hoarse voice.

Jeff looked worriedly over at Brains. He barely shook his head, but Jeff caught his message. Jeff gave Alan a smile. "Don't worry about it right now. We can talk about it later after you've improved some more."

Alan closed his eyes and settled further back into his pillow. "M-M-Mom" he murmured.

Virgil and John exchanged confused looks. "Alan, mom's not here." John said.

Alan wearily opened his eyes. He continued to stammer and slur his words. "Know…talkin'…her…earlier."

The three healthy Tracys gave Brains a questioning look. Brains shrugged. "It c-c-could have been a d-d-dream or…w-well, something else."

"You mean a 'near death' experience." Virgil supplied for him.

Brains nodded. "There's n-n-not enough evidence to p-p-prove or disprove their ex-ex-existence."

"Was…real…" Alan tried to stress, but it caused him to begin coughing again.

Jeff quickly placed a hand on Alan's chest. "Okay, Alan, we believe you. Please calm down. Why don't you close your eyes and try to get some rest?"

Alan gave an unsteady nod and let his eyes close. "F-f-finally…have…**own**…m-m-memories." It was only a matter of minutes before Alan's breathing fell into the rhythmic pattern of sleep.

* * *

Tin-Tin walked along the beach. She carried her sandals in one hand and the waves gently lapped at her feet while the light wind blew a few strand of hair across her face. She tried to concentrate on the natural beauty around her, but memories of her and Alan kept flooding her mind. How many times did they walk this beach hand in hand? Or how many moonlight picnics did they have? Or how many times did she sit on the beach imagining that Alan could see her from Thunderbird Five? That was all over now. Alan was gone. The life that she had anticipated had been ripped away. Everywhere she looked, she saw haunting reminders of that loss. She was contemplating leaving the Island, at least until her memories of Alan became less painful. 

Tin-Tin rounded a bend in the sand and came upon Scott sitting on a fallen log. She could tell by his posture and the hitch in his breathing that he was crying. Knowing how the Tracys felt about showing emotion, she didn't want to intrude on him. She didn't want to embarrass him, so she turned to leave, but Scott must have sensed her because he suddenly looked up.

"Tin-Tin," Scott acknowledged her.

Tin-Tin ducked her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll just leave you alone."

Scott shook his head. "No, wait. You've obviously not heard."

"Heard what?" Tin-Tin asked.

Scott smiled as his eyes shone with new tears. "We got a miracle, that's what it is…a miracle."

"What are you saying, Scott?" Confusion creased Tin-Tin's forehead as she sat on the log next to Scott.

Scott covered one of Tin-Tin's hands with one of his own. "Alan came out of the coma. He woke up."

It took a few seconds for Scott's statement to sink in. "He woke up? He's alive?" Tin-Tin asked in a dazed voice.

Scott nodded and gave Tin-Tin's hand an encouraging squeeze. "Yes, he is."

Tin-Tin's eyes began to brighten. "And he's okay?"

Scott's smile faded a bit. "Uhm…I'm not completely sure of his condition. I was too overwhelmed when he woke up, and I left."

Tin-Tin stood up abruptly. "I have to find out. I have to go to him." She turned and headed back to the villa at a run.

Scott stood and followed after Tin-tin albeit at a much slower pace.

* * *

Jeff, John, Virgil and Brains stood together near the drug cabinet of the sickroom, discussing Alan's condition. 

"So what do you know about Alan's condition?" Jeff asked.

"His v-v-vitals are good." Brains answered. "And th-th-they are holding st-st-steady without the aid of any m-m-machines."

"That is good news, right, Brains?" Virgil asked.

Before Brains could answer, John asked his own question. "Am I the only one who noticed that Alan seemed to be having trouble speaking?"

"Yeah, I noticed that too." Virgil replied. "How about that Brains?"

Brains shook his head. "It could b-b-be a few d-d-different problems like h-h-his throat being s-s-sore from being intubated, or his b-br-brain is still s-s-slow in processing d-due to the c-c-coma, or it could b-b-be an indication of some b-br-brain damage."

"So, when will we find out?" Jeff asked.

"I'm n-n-not sure." Brains answered. "I w-w-will be running t-t-tests over the next f-f-few days. H-h-hopefully as time g-g-goes by he will g-g-gain strength and h-h-his speech will get b-b-better."

Jeff sighed. "Brains, I also noticed that he couldn't grip my hand tightly. You might want to check that out too."

"Do you think that he is paralyzed?" John asked.

Jeff shook his head. "No, at least not totally, but…" He suddenly couldn't go on.

"D-d-don't worry. I w-w-will check it out." Brains assured the family.

"But what if all this is being caused by brain damage?" Virgil asked. "What do we do? What if your tests show more damage?"

Brains sighed. "Again, I w-w-won't know anything un-un-until I run the t-t-tests."

"But what about…" Virgil began to question, but Jeff cut him off.

"Virgil, that is enough." Jeff said. "He won't know anything until he can run some tests. Hounding him isn't going to change that."

"You're right." Virgil nodded. "Sorry, Brains."

Jeff continued speaking. "Alan has overcome the biggest hurdle just by waking up. We will deal with anything else as it comes. Now we need to let the rest of the family know. Grandma should still be sleeping, and Gordon is sitting with her. I don't know where Tin-Tin is. I guess we'll have to check…"

Just then Tin-Tin stepped into the sickroom. She went straight to Alan's bedside. "Alan?" She took in the reading on the monitors showing a steady heartbeat and a rhythmic breathing pattern. She turned to the rest of the Tracys. "Scott said that he was awake."

Jeff moved to Tin-Tin's side. He placed an arm around her shoulders. "He was, but he was only awake for a couple of minutes. The good news is that he is breathing on his own, and his vitals are stable. His body just needs some time to rest and recover."

"Can I sit with him?" Tin-Tin asked.

Jeff smiled at her. "I think that Alan would like that."

"I think that I will go talk to Gordon." John told his father. "Unless you want to."

Jeff shook his head. "That's okay. I trust you to handle this tactfully with Gordon. I think that I will stay here with Alan since Tin-Tin already knows. I need to thank Scott the next time I see him."

"Speaking of Scott," Virgil interrupted. "Do you know where Scott is?" He asked Tin-Tin.

"I left him on the beach." Tin-Tin answered. "But I don't know if he's still there."

Virgil nodded. "Well, that gives me a starting spot." Turning towards his father, he continued. "I need to talk to him, unless you need me to do something else right now."

Jeff shook his head. "No, go ahead. I'll talk to you later."

Virgil and John left the sickroom together. They talked as they walked down the hall until they separated at the elevator.

Virgil headed to the lounge. He had debated about just heading to the beach to look for Scott, but he opted to track Scott's watch first to save some time. He came to a stop partway from the door to his father's desk when he spotted Scott standing by the windows looking out them again. "Scott," he said. "I was just coming to find you."

Scott glanced over his shoulder and then turned back to the window. "You did a good job."

Virgil crossed the room and leaned against the piano that stood a few feet behind Scott. "It's great news about Alan, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." Scott nodded but didn't turn around.

Virgil sighed. "Why'd you leave?"

Scott shook his head. "I just had to."

"Please, Scott," Virgil practically begged. "Please, tell me that I'm misreading your actions. Please tell me that you aren't upset that Alan woke up. You didn't really want him to die. Did you?"

Scott spun around with a horrified look on his face. "No, of course not, how could you even think that?"

Virgil was taken aback by Scott's reaction. "I'm sorry, Scott. It's just that the best thing that could happen did, and you ran away. What are we supposed to think?"

Scott moved away from the window and sat down in a chair. He ran his fingers along the arm of the chair. "You're right. My actions probably raised a lot of questions. I'm sorry. It's just hard to explain my feelings when I don't understand them myself."

Virgil took a seat. "Why don't you give it a try? I'm here, and I'm willing to listen."

Scott locked eyes with Virgil and then began to speak. "Well, first off, I don't want you to think that I'm not happy about Alan waking up because I am. I'm happy, relieved, ecstatic. Actually, those words don't accurately describe what I felt when he opened his eyes. I'm sure you felt the same thing."

"Then what happened?" Virgil asked. "Your demeanor doesn't really scream 'happy' right now."

Scott looked away from Virgil. "I got scared. I mean, look at how I treated him. I thought it was over, that I would never have the chance to make it up to him, but now I do."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?" Virgil pressed when Scott paused.

"But what if Alan doesn't want me to?" Scott asked as tears filled his eyes. "What if he rejects my apology? I can't blame him if he does. I can still remember the look on his face when I said all those hurtful things. He was devastated. How can I ever make it up to him?"

Virgil shook his head. "Scott, we are all feeling the same way. According to his note, he was hurt by all of us, not just you."

"But you guys can at least claim that he misunderstood you." Scott replied. "I don't even have that. I hurt him, and I knew that I was doing it. I just didn't care."

"But you were sick." Virgil argued.

"That's no excuse." Scott countered. "I should've known better. I **did **know better. Deep down, I knew I was wrong, but I was too proud to admit it, and Alan paid the price. Correction, he **is** paying the price. It's not over yet."

"So, what are you going to do?" Virgil asked.

Scott sighed. "I guess that I will have to take my cues from Alan. I don't want to push him, but I am so afraid that our relationship is ruined beyond repair." He suddenly gave a snort of disgust. "Listen to me. **I** will take my cues…**I** don't want to push…**I'm** afraid…God, how selfish am I? I don't deserve to be forgiven by Alan."

Virgil leaned forward and stared intently at his oldest brother. "You listen to me, Scott. What you are feeling is perfectly normal." Scott rolled his eyes at his brother, but Virgil continued. "You've been under a lot of stress. We all have. But don't sell Alan short. It may take a while, but knowing Alan, he will eventually forgive you…forgive us. Remember, you won't be going through this alone. We all have to earn Alan's forgiveness and trust."

Scott sighed. "I know. I know it here." He pointed at his head. "But here…" He pointed at his chest. "That's a different story. I **hate** feeling this way."

"What way?" Virgil asked. "Conflicted?"

Scott shook his head. "Being so out of control. I mean, I've been scared before, and I've been angry before. But **I've** used **them** to better the situation, but I feel like I'm drowning in them right now."

Virgil laughed a little. "Scott, I'm sure that these feelings are because you're still under the effects of the vitamin deficiency. Brains said it would take a while for it to get better."

"What if I never get better?" Scott questioned.

Virgil just shook his head. "Just the fact that you are questioning your emotions means that you're getting better. A week ago, you would have denied even having a problem. Don't beat yourself up over this. Give yourself some time. Give Alan some time. Somehow we will work through all this."

"Do you really believe that?" Scott asked.

Virgil nodded. "Yes, I do. I have to. It's that hope that keeps me going."

Scott returned the nod. "Well, I should head back and apologize now that I know that he can definitely hear me."

"He's asleep again." Virgil remarked.

Scott looked at Virgil in concern. "But he is all right, isn't he?"

"Relax, Scott," Virgil replied. "He's okay. He's off the vent, and his vitals are good, but he just needs some rest."

"Did he say anything once the tube was removed?" Scott continued with another question.

"He mentioned something about talking to mom." Virgil answered.

Scott noticed a flicker of distress cross Virgil's face. "What? You're not telling me something? What is it?"

"Uhm…it's just that he seemed to be having trouble speaking." Virgil replied. "But Brains said that it could just be a residual effect of the coma."

"Or it could be something more." Scott interjected.

Virgil nodded. "Yes, it could be. Brains is going to run some tests over the next few days, but…"

"I'm going to head to the sickroom to see if there is anything that I can do." Scott interrupted and headed towards the door.

Virgil was stunned for a moment at Scott's sudden change in demeanor. By the time he shook it off, Scott had already left the room. He muttered to himself. "Of course, Scott, why don't I come with you? Who knows, maybe Alan will wake up again." Virgil headed to the sickroom himself.

* * *

Gordon sat next to Grandma's bed, idly flipping through a _Good Housekeeping_ magazine. He was bored. He should've thought to bring a magazine or book of his own, but he wasn't really thinking when he agreed to take John's place. 

Gordon hurriedly set the magazine on the night stand when he heard the outer door of the suite open. A few seconds later, John entered the bedroom. "Hi, Gordon, how's grandma?"

"She's been quiet the whole time you were gone." Gordon replied. He looked up at John. He was puzzled by the calm look on John's face. Gordon had expected John to be showing some signs of distress after watching Alan die. "So, I take it that it's over?"

John nodded. "But not the way you think."

Gordon gave John a questioning look. "What do you mean? Didn't Brains turn off the vent?"

John nodded again. "He did turn off the vent, but when he did, Alan woke up."

Gordon leapt to his feet. "He's awake? Are you serious? He's really alive!" His voice raised in pitch as he asked his questions.

John placed a hand on Gordon's shoulder. "Yes, he's really alive."

"But how did this happen? Brains was so sure. He even contacted that specialist." Gordon began to ramble.

John smiled. "I guess we got a miracle."

Gordon's face broke into a smile of his own. "Yeah, I guess we did. I should go see him."

John shook his head. "It won't do any good. He fell back asleep after a few minutes of talking."

Gordon shook his head. "Well, I still think that I will check in on him, for my own sake. You don't mind staying with grandma, do you?"

John laughed. "No, I don't mind. Go see our brother."

"Oh my God," Gordon exclaimed as his face fell. "What about Tin-Tin? Does she know? Maybe I should…"

"She knows. Apparently, she ran into Scott after Alan woke up. She was in the sickroom when I left." John assured him.

The smile returned to Gordon's face. "Great, I'll talk to you later." He then left the room.

John sat down in the chair. "Hey, Grandma, I've got some really good news to tell you when you wake up." He looked around and saw the magazine on the nightstand. Sighing he picked it up and began to flip through it with a bored look on his face. "_Good Housekeeping_…I should have thought to grab my book on the way here." He thought to himself. "Oh well, nothing can bring me down now that I know that Alan will live, not even a boring woman's magazine."

* * *

Author's Note - So now everyone knows that Alan is awake. (Well, except Grandma. Poor thing was sedated.) We hope that you enjoyed the family member's varied reactions. Now we have to wait for the tests results to come back. Has Alan suffered brain damage? Is it correctable? Will the family learn that the shooting was an accident? Will Alan forgive his family now that he is awake? Will Alan find out what Tin-Tin and Gordon did? These are all questions that will be answered over the next few chapters. So, stay tuned.

We want to thank everyone who reviewed our last chapter. We really do appreciate them all. We also want to welcome any new readers. We hope that you are enjoying it. We know that we are still getting some, since we have two new readers review the last chapter. Thanks for reading.


	32. Medical Condition Revealed

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 32 – Medical Condition Revealed

Three days after Alan woke up, the family gathered in the sickroom. Tin-Tin and Gordon each took a spot on either side of Alan's bed, but neither met the other's eyes. The rest of the family sat in chairs arranged around the sickroom.

Brains was speaking. "I h-h-have already discussed these t-t-tests results with Alan. N-n-now, I'm going to d-d-discuss them with you. S-s-stop me if you h-h-have any questions."

Brains paused a moment and looked around and either received a nod of the head or an "Okay, Brains" from the occupants of the room. Brains looked down at Alan's chart. "Okay, f-f-first off, Alan is staying a-a-awake for longer periods of t-t-time than when he f-f-first woke up, so that is sh-sh-showing improvement. I have r-r-run tests on his c-c-cognizant faculties and they a-a-appear to be in-in-intact."

"What do you mean 'his cognizant faculties'?" Gordon asked.

Brains nodded his head and explained. "It m-m-means that his m-memories and thinking p-p-processes are fine."

"But what about his speech?" Virgil interjected.

Alan rolled his eyes at his brother.

"That is m-m-more a physical p-pr-problem than a m-m-mental one." Brains replied. "Alan knows wh-wh-what he wants to s-s-say, but it's h-h-hard for him to f-f-form the words. I w-w-will be working on sp-sp-speech therapy to hopefully c-c-correct it."

"What about the other physical problems?" Jeff asked.

Brains flipped a page in the chart. "That is m-m-more complicated. He has ex-ex-extremely d-d-diminished movements in all f-f-four limbs. M-m-movement on the right s-s-side is almost n-n-non-existent."

"Are you saying that he is paralyzed?" Gordon asked worriedly.

"N-n-no," Brains shook his head. "He d-d-does have limited movement on his l-l-left side, and he even h-h-has some feeling on the r-r-right side when t-t-touched."

"So, what does that mean, Brains?" This time it was John who asked a question.

Brains sighed. "It m-m-means that the p-pr-problems are likely c-c-caused by a n-neurological pathway b-b-breakdown."

"Is it fixable? What can we do?" Gordon pressed.

"I d-d-do not have that an-answer." Brains began. "I'm going to set him up on a ph-ph-physical therapy r-r-regimen, but as far as his r-r-recovery, it is an unknown v-v-variable. Some people have a t-tr-tremendous recovery, while others o-o-only have a moderate r-r-recovery, and then there are th-th-those who have no m-m-markable recovery. It is a w-w-waiting game."

Tin-Tin squeezed the hand that she was holding. "Don't worry, Alan. We'll be here to help you anyway we can."

"She's right. Anything that we can do." Gordon added.

John and Virgil both added in their offers to help.

"Maybe you should call in a specialist?" Grandma suggested. "Not that I don't think that Brains can do it, but he has so many other things to do, that it may be better for someone else to oversee it."

Jeff raised an eyebrow at Brains. "What do you think, Brains?"

"Th-th-that is up to you." Brains replied. "I have the c-c-confidence that I can h-h-handle it, but if you f-f-feel more comfortable with a sp-sp-specialist, I will not t-t-take offense to it." He thought to himself. "I can't really blame you after how I handled his condition earlier."

Jeff nodded. "We can talk about it later. Is there anything else?"

Brains consumed the chart again. "N-n-no, nothing really, he is s-st-still on a liquid d-d-diet which he is t-t-tolerating well. Hopefully, in a f-f-few days, he can be m-m-moved up to solid f-f-food."

"Well, then," Jeff said. "I think we can call an end to this meeting."

"N-N-NO!" Alan forced out.

Everyone looked at Alan. This was the first time that Alan had spoken during the meeting.

"Alan, is there something that you wanted to add?" Jeff asked his youngest child.

Alan nodded. "Want…know…happened."

"You want to know what happened?" Jeff clarified when Alan nodded, Jeff looked at Brains.

Brains shook his head. "It is im-im-imperative that he n-n-not get upset."

Alan shook his head. "Want…know…**now**…" He insisted.

Jeff moved next to Alan's bed." Okay, Alan, calm down." He debated on how to handle this situation. It was a no win situation. Telling him about his suicide attempt would upset Alan, but he was already getting upset by being kept in the dark. Jeff made a decision and hoped that it was correct. "Look, Alan, if I tell you, you have to promise that you will **stay calm**. Do you promise?"

Alan nodded. "P'omise." He managed to say.

"M-M-Mr. Tracy, I d-d-don't think…" Brains began to protest.

Jeff shook his head. "It's all right, Brains, but why don't you prepare a sedative, just in case."

Brains still looked uneasy but nodded. "Yes, M-M-Mr. Tracy."

"Jeff, please, maybe you should listen to Brains." Grandma said. "We don't want to risk a relapse."

Jeff nodded. "I understand that, Mother, but he is already upset, and I need to calm him down."

"But Jeff…" Grandma began, but Jeff cut her off.

"Mother, please," Jeff said. "I know that this isn't the best idea, but it is the decision that I have made. Please don't make things worse by arguing."

Alan looked worriedly between his father and grandmother. " 'ease… need… know."

Grandma stood up from her chair. She grumpily told her son. "Well, I think that I will go help Kyrano in the kitchen. Call me if you need me."

Jeff sighed. "I'm sorry that you don't agree with me mother, but…" His mother just turned her back on him and headed out the door. Shaking his head, he mumbled to himself. "I wish she wouldn't be so stubborn." Then out loud, he continued. "Okay, back to you Alan."

Gordon moved off the bed so that Jeff could be closer to Alan. Jeff began speaking. "It all started a couple months ago when John was injured up on Five. The accident was caused…"

Alan shook his head. "Rem'ber that…John…better…"

Jeff nodded. "Yes, John did get better and he eventually relieved you on Five. Unfortunately, because of a series of miscommunications, on our part too, you thought that we were angry with you, and it led you to an unthinkable decision. Once you got back home, you went to the shooting range, and…you…" Jeff found himself at a loss on how to explain this to Alan.

Everyone could see Jeff's turmoil. Tin-Tin came to his rescue. She gave Alan's hand another encouraging squeeze. "Alan, sweetheart," she began. "You tried to kill yourself."

Alan's eyes widened in shock. "No!"

Jeff reached over and gripped Alan's shoulder. "Alan, I know this is hard to accept. It was for all of us, but…"

"No, not…like…that…" Alan interrupted.

"Alan, I know that this must be confusing." Jeff continued. "But you were found alone with a gunshot wound and the gun next to you."

"Plus, I found the suicide note that you left up on Five." John interjected. "I tried to get Virgil to find you, but we were too late."

"Change…mind." Alan haltingly replied. "Not…suicide."

Silence fell over the sickroom, as the family members exchanged confused looks. "Are you trying to say that you changed your mind about committing suicide? That your shooting really was an accident?" Jeff asked.

Alan let his eyes slide closed, grateful that he had managed to get his point across. "Y-y-yes…wha'…happen?"

Jeff shook his head. "I don't know. You had already been shot by the time Virgil found you. I know that it is hard for you to speak, but what is the last thing you remember?"

Alan slowly opened his eyes. "Fuzzy… try… was… lone… thinking… suicide… coward's way… not… gonna… do it…" Alan's brow furrowed. "Noise… think… I… heard… noise… then… nothing…"

"What kind of noise?" Jeff asked. "Do you know what it was?"

Alan shook his head. "No… not… sure…"

"You're not sure what the noise was, or not sure if you even heard a noise." Jeff pressed.

"Dad, I have a question." John interrupted.

"Okay, John." Jeff replied.

"It's actually for Virgil." John said, turning to his brother.

Virgil looked at John in surprise. "Me?"

John nodded. "You said that you heard the gunshot when you entered the shooting range. How long after you opened the door did you hear the shot? Was it immediately? Or was it a few seconds?"

"I don't really remem…" Virgil began but stopped. He blanched as the implication hit him. "Oh God, it was me, wasn't it? I startled him when I ran into the room. He must have jerked in surprise and that's when he pulled the trigger. It's all my fault."

John shook his head. "No, it's not. It's mine. If I had told you what Alan was planning, you wouldn't have run in there with a full head of steam. I'm sorry. I should have thought it through better. I really screwed up."

"N-n-no," Alan tried to sound forceful, but he was beginning to wear down, so it came out as a loud whisper. "No… guilt… accident… not… your… fault. Never… should… have… gun."

Jeff turned to John and Virgil. "Alan's right. It's not your fault." Turning back to Alan, he continued. "Neither is it yours. Granted, having the gun complicated the situation, and it pains me to think about what you were contemplating, but I am so glad that you did change your mind."

"I think that we all feel that way." Gordon interjected.

Jeff had noticed Alan's fatigue. "All right, guys, I think this is enough. Alan needs his rest. We can all talk more later, and once Brains sets up a therapy schedule, we can discuss that too."

"All right, Dad," Gordon leaned over and ruffled Alan's hair. "I'll see you later, Alan. I love you, bro."

"You take it easy, Alan." Virgil moved next to the bed and gripped Alan's shoulder. "Do whatever Brains tells you to." He paused for a moment. "And I'm sorry for any part that I played in all this."

Alan's eyes narrowed. "No… guilt… 'member?"

Virgil grinned. "All right, you win, no more guilt. I love you, Alan."

As Virgil moved away from the bed, John took his place. "I love you too. You get some rest, but if you need anything, just give me a call."

After John headed towards the door, Alan turned to look at Scott who stood uncomfortably at the end of his bed. He could tell that Scott wanted to say something but was hesitating. "Sco'?" Alan questioned.

Scott looked up at Alan and then dropped his gaze back to the floor. "Alan, I just… I mean… I want…" He stumbled over his thoughts. "Oh hell," he said, shaking his head. He moved closer to Alan. He leaned over and placed a hand on Alan's cheek while looking straight into his eyes. "I love you, Alan. No matter how angry I get that will never, **ever** change. I need you to always remember that. I'm so sorry about everything I said or did before. You're my baby brother, and I'm ashamed of how I treated you. I am going to do everything in my power to help you through this. I promise you that. Now, you rest, and I'll see you later." Scott turned and left the sickroom.

Alan looked at his dad. "Scott… all right? Acting… strange."

Jeff shook his head. "Scott is still feeling guilty over how he treated you. He even wanted to resign from International Rescue because of it. That's when we found out he was sick."

Alan looked up in alarm. "Scott… sick?"

"Relax, Alan," Jeff replied. "I guess I figured that someone had told you. It doesn't matter. Scott had, well still has, a vitamin deficiency that was affecting his emotional state. He is on a vitamin supplement, and Brains is keeping an eye on it. He's getting better, slowly. Hopefully, by the time we re-start International Rescue, he will be able to operate to his full capacity."

"Start… In'nation… Rescue?" Alan questioned. "Why… not… op-op…ting?"

Jeff shook his head. "I shut it down after your shooting. None of us were in any frame of mind to be working rescues. It was just too dangerous."

Tin-Tin poked Alan lightly in the chest. "Enough about Scott and International Rescue. You need to rest, now. So close your eyes and get some sleep."

"Stay… me?" Alan asked.

"Of course, I will stay." Tin-Tin replied. "Now, no more talking. **Rest**."

Jeff laughed. "Tin-Tin's right. I'm going to speak to Brains, but then I am going to the lounge. I have some work to do, but if you need me for anything just give me a call, and I'll be right back."

Alan nodded slightly. "kay… Dad." He let his eyes drift closed as Jeff left the room. As much as he hated to admit it, the family meeting had worn him out. It was only a matter of minutes before he had fallen into a sound sleep.

* * *

Kyrano stood in the kitchen quietly watching Mrs. Tracy. She had stormed into the room a few minutes ago claiming to want to make a chocolate cake. Unfortunately, her banging of bowls, pans and ingredients clearly indicated that she was upset. Kyrano was unsure if he should question her emotional upset. He finally ventured when she began stirring the bowl so vigorously that the ingredients were spilling out over the bowl.

"Mrs. Tracy, is there something that I can do for you?" Kyrano offered.

"No, I am perfectly capable of making a cake all by myself." Grandma snapped at him, but then instantly regretted it. "I'm sorry Kyrano. It's not your fault that my son is a fool. I can't believe that my son is willing to risk Alan's health like this."

Kyrano stopped and looked at Grandma. "I'm sure that Mr. Tracy is not **intentionally** risking Mr. Alan's health. He wouldn't do that."

Grandma rolled his eyes. "Oh he wouldn't would he? Do you know what he is doing right now? He is in the sickroom telling Alan about his suicide attempt, even though Brains said that it would not be a good idea."

Kyrano wasn't sure how to respond. "Did Brains say why it wasn't a good idea?"

Grandma nodded. "He said that it would be dangerous if Alan got upset. How is Alan **not** going to get upset once he hears that he shot himself? I am just so angry with Jeff. I tried to talk to Jeff, but he just blew me off. He said it was his decision, but we all are affected by it. I mean, after all that we went through…how could he risk a relapse? We all thought he was going to die, and then he didn't. I remember how I felt when I woke up and found out that **he** had woken up. It was like the sun had returned to my world. I couldn't help it. I started to cry again. I know that I scared John to death. He probably thought that they would have to sedate me again."

Kyrano took grandma by the arm. "Mrs. Tracy, please come sit down. I understand your feelings. I, too, was very relieved to hear the news that Mr. Alan had awoken. I had spent most of that day in the kitchen because I did not want to impose on this time of family grief. I had made sure that there was plenty of coffee, and, even though I did not think that people would be hungry, I also made sure that there was plenty of food. I was surprised when Mr. Tracy entered the kitchen. He did not bear the aura of grief that a man who had just lost his son should have. Once he told me what had happened, I loaded a trolley with the food, since most of the family had returned to the sickroom just to be with Mr. Alan. I saw the lightened emotions, the contentment and abundant happiness that had pervaded the room. I cannot believe that Mr. Tracy would be willing to risk that without a significant reason. He cares far too much about Mr. Alan."

Grandma seemed to be calming down some. "Well, he probably thought that it was a no-win situation because Alan was getting upset by not knowing what happened. I'm just so worried about Alan. I just wish that Jeff would have waited a few more days, just to give Alan a bit more time to be firmly on the road to recovery."

"I can understand your concern." Kyrano replied. "But you also have to place yourself in your son's position. He must do what he thinks is right for Mr. Alan. I am sure that he did not make this decision lightly. We must trust that Mr. Alan will have the strength to be able to handle the news."

Before grandma could reply, Jeff entered the kitchen. "There you are mother. Look, I'm sorry that I had upset you earlier, but you have to understand that sometimes I will make decisions that you will not agree with, but you still have to accept them."

"And I'm sorry about arguing with you, Jeff." Grandma replied. "I was just so worried about Alan. How did he take the news?"

Jeff shook his head. "Actually, he knew about the suicide attempt, but he informed us that it **wasn't **really a suicide attempt. Apparently, he had changed his mind about going through with it, but Virgil startled him and the gun went off. It was just an accident after all."

Grandma smiled. "I knew it. I just knew that my grandson wouldn't really have tried to commit suicide. They all have more gumption than that. I need to go see him."

"Well, he's sleeping again." Jeff told her. "Maybe you should wait an hour or so to see him."

Grandma nodded. "Okay, that will give me time to finish my cake."

Jeff stuck his finger in the mixing bowl. "Ummm, chocolate cake, my favorite…thank you, Mother."

Grandma pushed Jeff away. "Shoo, now, or you won't get any once it's done."

Jeff laughed as he left the kitchen, and grandma went back to her cake, this time with a lot less frustration.

Kyrano went back to his meal preparation grateful that another disagreement was successfully resolved.

* * *

Author's Note - Okay, so we are now one step closer to family healing. We know Alan's physical condition, and he even managed to explain that the shooting was an accident. We hope that you enjoyed this chapter.

Okay, this part, could be typed in my sleep, but we really do appreciate all our faithful readers and reviewers. We say it at the end of every chapter, but that is because it is SO TRUE. We can't say it enough. Thank you all for your support.


	33. Depression

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 33 – Depression

Tin-Tin entered the sickroom with Alan's lunch tray. "Good afternoon, Alan, how did your therapy go this morning?"

Alan rolled his eyes. "Don't ask."

"That good, huh?" Tin-Tin replied. "Well, maybe your afternoon session will be better. Anyways, I brought your lunch."

"What is it?" Alan asked.

Tin-Tin removed the dish covers. "It's vegetable soup and apple sauce and your protein drink."

Alan wrinkled his nose in disgust. Tin-Tin smiled as she spread out a napkin across Alan's chest. "Come on. It's not that bad. You used to like the soup before."

Alan shook his head. "As a first course, not as the en-en…" Alan struggled for the word.

"The entrée?" Tin-Tin supplied for him.

"Damn it!" Alan threw his head back into his pillow.

"Alan?" Tin-Tin reacted in alarm. "What's wrong? Are you in pain? Should I…" She stopped when she saw Alan shaking his head.

"Not in pain." Alan told her. "I'm… I am…" Again, Alan struggled to find the word.

"Angry?" Tin-Tin asked, but Alan shook his head. "Scared?" She questioned.

Alan shook his head again. "F-f-f…" He tried again.

Tin-Tin listened as Alan once again tried to form the word. "Frustrated?" She offered.

"Yes!" Alan spat out.

Tin-Tin's eyes softened. "It's totally understandable. You've been working hard to get better…"

Alan shook his head. "I'm not getting better."

Tin-Tin sat straighter. "Yes, you are. I know it's not as fast as you would like, but it is happening. Look at what you've accomplished in just these two weeks. You're speech has improved…"

Alan gave Tin-Tin a look of disgust, but she continued. "No, I'm serious. Sure you struggle once in a while for words, but it's better than before. Plus, you're gaining strength in your limbs."

"Not much." Alan remarked.

Tin-Tin patted Alan's arm. "It will take time. You just have to be patient. Now do you want to try to feed yourself, or do you want me to help you?"

"I'll do it." Alan replied in a huffy tone. His left hand shook as he reached for the spoon. He slowly closed his hand high on the spoon's handle. He dipped it into the soup bowl. His hand continued to shake heavily as he tried to move it to his mouth. Halfway there, it slipped from his grasp and splattered broth and a few bits of vegetables across his napkin.

"Here, let me help you." Tin-Tin said as she used another napkin to mop up the spilled soup.

Alan feebly tried to push her hand away. "Just leave me alone. Go away."

Tin-Tin refilled the spoon and moved it to Alan's mouth. "But you need to eat. It's okay, I don't mind helping."

Alan turned his head away. "I'm not h-h-h… I don't want to eat."

"Please, Alan, you need to build your strength." Tin-Tin replied.

"Why doesn't anyone listen to me?" Alan said angrily. "I said I wasn't hungry. Now **leave** me **alone**." He then closed his eyes hoping that Tin-Tin would really leave.

Tin-Tin shook her head and tried a different tactic. "Okay, let's make a compromise. I'll leave **if** you at least drink the protein drink."

Alan sighed and opened his eyes. "Okay, fine, **I** drink. Then **you** leave."

"Deal." Tin-Tin said as she moved the glass closer to Alan.

Alan placed a hand on the glass above Tin-Tin's hand. He knew that Tin-Tin was actually holding it, but at least he felt like he was doing something. He wrapped his lips around the straw that protruded from the glass. In a matter of minutes, the drink was gone. Alan leaned back against the pillow. "Okay, I'm done. Now leave. I want to get a n-n… some sleep before my afternoon therapy session."

Tin-Tin stood as she replaced the lids and napkins on the lunch tray. She leaned over and kissed Alan on the cheek. "I love you. Get some rest."

Alan didn't speak as Tin-Tin left the room. He blinked rapidly to keep the building tears at bay. He hated feeling so emotionally out of control, especially when he didn't understand why he was having so much trouble today. He took some deep breaths trying to get himself under control. He slipped into sleep without realizing it.

* * *

Two hours later, Scott was gently shaking Alan's shoulder. "Hey, sleeping beauty, time to wake up."

Alan cracked an eye open. "Go away, Scott."

"No can do, little brother." Scott replied. "It's time for your therapy."

"I'm not doing it t-t…anymore." Alan told him.

Scott shook his head. "That's not an option, Alan. It's the only way that you're going to get better."

"What does it matter to you, Scott?" Alan demanded.

Scott was taken aback by Alan's tone. "Alan, I want to see you get better. We all do. That's why we want to help you with your therapy."

"Bull!" Alan snapped. "You only want to ease your con-con…guilty feelings. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be like this."

Alan's remark hit Scott like a physical blow. "Alan…" He began, but Alan cut him off.

"Go away!" Alan ordered. "I don't need you. I don't want you… any of you. Now, leave me alone!"

"W-wh-what is going on?" Brains asked coming out of his office.

Alan turned an angry stare at Brains. "I just want to be left alone. Why is that so d-dif-dif… hard for everyone to understand? Maybe I should gather everyone together so I only have to say this once. **Leave me alone!**"

Scott gave Brains a pleading look but didn't say anything. Brains placed a hand on Scott's shoulder. "G-g-go ahead and leave, S-S-Scott. I'll h-h-handle this afternoon's s-s-session alone with Alan."

Scott nodded and headed toward the door. He slid it open, but turned back for a second. "I'll see you later, Alan."

Alan turned his head away and mumbled "Whatever."

Scott shook his head and left the sickroom.

Brains looked at Alan. "C-c-can you explain what h-h-has you so upset?"

"I don't know." Alan answered. "I'm just so tired. I can't keep g-g…this up. What if this is as well as I am going to get?"

Brains sighed and sat on the edge of Alan's bed. "Alan, what you are f-f-feeling is perfectly n-n-normal. Like I t-t-told you before, your r-r-recovery is going to take t-t-time, but I c-c-can tell you that I am en-en-encouraged by your p-pr-progress so far." Alan just rolled his eyes at Brains. "And b-b-believe it or not, even your d-d-depression is normal."

"D-d-depressed?" Alan fought to get the word out. "Who said anything about that?"

"Please, d-d-don't get upset." Brains said. "But the s-s-symptoms that you are ex-experiencing: the f-f-fatigue, the anger, the tears, the l-l-lack of appetite, are all s-s-signs of depression. It h-h-happens to almost everyone w-w-who is in your p-p-position."

"Great," Alan replied sarcastically. "Not only am I a cripple, but I am a depressed cripple."

Brains shook his head. "F-f-first off, you're not a c-cr-cripple; you are m-m-merely in the early s-st-stages of your recovery. As f-f-far as the d-depression, we w-w-will add psycho-therapy and a m-m-mild anti-depressant to your established r-r-regimen."

"Wait a s-s-sec…minute," Alan interrupted. "How did you know my symptoms? I only mentioned being tired."

Brains gave Alan a small smile. "S-s-since I've been expecting you to d-d-develop the depression, I've b-b-been keeping a close w-w-watch on you."

Alan shook his head. "So, now that you know, can I skip therapy this afternoon?"

"No, I'm sorry." Brains replied. "It's im-im-imperative to your r-r-recovery that we keep a sc-sc-schedule, but I w-w-will adapt it to b-be a little less st-st-strenuous. How does that s-s-sound?"

"Whatever," Alan replied, as Brains began to work on loosening Alan's leg muscles. Brains continued talking and asking questions in an effort to subtly determine Alan's exact state of mind.

* * *

Scott entered the lounge to find his father and John talking.

"Scott, there you are." Jeff said. "I was just about to call you. We were just talking about when we should restart International Rescue. I was thinking about putting Five on auto so that we would still have a full compliment of rescue workers if we need them, or are you three boys and Brains enough? What do you think?"

Scott sat down in a chair across from his father. "I think that I need to resign from International Rescue."

Jeff's head swung to look at Scott in shock. "What? I thought we had talked about this, and you were going to stay."

"I know, but that was before." Scott replied.

"Before what?" Jeff asked.

Scott looked uncomfortably at his folded hands. "It's just… well, you see… I mean…"

Jeff and John exchanged concerned looks. "Please, Scott, what happened? Does this have something to do with Alan?"

Scott looked back at his dad, anguish showing on his face. "He still blames me. Every time he sees me, he's reminded of how badly I treated him. I can't stay here. I can't keep hurting him. I want you to post me at one of the stateside offices. I don't really care which."

Before Jeff could respond, John began speaking. "Will you hold off making a final decision and give me a chance to talk to Alan?"

Scott gave John a doubtful look. "I don't know. I don't want to put you in the middle of this."

"Please," John replied. "Let me try. I have a feeling that I know where he's coming from. All I'm asking for is a chance. Is that too much?"

Scott shook his head. "Okay, but be careful. I don't want Alan to think that we are ganging up on him."

John nodded. "Don't worry. It'll be okay."

"Well," Jeff put in. "I guess we should wait until after John has his talk with Alan to make a decision about International Rescue."

* * *

After dinner, Alan pleaded a headache in order to get rid of Tin-Tin. He had put in a comedy in the video system, but it wasn't holding his interest. He desperately wished that he could go for a walk, but that was impossible. He still didn't have controlled movement in his right leg even though the sense of feeling in it was getting stronger, and his left leg wasn't strong enough to support his body weight. He sighed and tried to will himself to go to sleep.

John entered the sickroom with Polly on his shoulder. "Hi, Alan, how are you doing?"

Alan refused to open his eyes. "Go away, John. I'm trying to r-r…sleep."

Instead of leaving, John moved to the empty chair. "I heard that you had a headache. Did you get something from Brains to help with it?"

"Look, John," Alan began as he turned toward his brother. "I really want…what the hell?" He questioned in surprise.

John smiled. "I realized that you haven't met Polly, yet. So I thought I would introduce you. She was a gift from Gordon."

The mask of anger slipped back over Alan's face. "So, I h-h…was **told**. Just something else I was left out of."

John shook his head. "Alan…"

Alan cut him off. "Dammit. I told Scott this, and I'm g-going to tell you, and anyone else who you send in, just leave me alone. I'm tired of being used by you guys."

"How are we using you?" John asked in an infuriatingly clam voice. "We are trying to help you."

"How st-st…dumb do you think I am?" Alan asked, shooting angry daggers at John. "I **know** that the only reason you want to help is to ease your own conscience. You treated me like I was lower than shit on your shoes, and now you think that b-b…acting 'nice' and 'helping' me through this is going to make everything all right again. Well, it won't. This is **your** fault, you know. It was your accident. Everybody blamed **me** for it, but it wasn't all my fault. Was it John? You were up there for two hours. That monitor must have been mal-mal…acting up the whole time. Why didn't you notice it? You should've noticed it. You should've fixed it, but you didn't. You didn't fix the monitor, and you can't fix this."

John just sat in the chair and looked at Alan.

John's silence angered Alan even more. "Did you hear me? You can't help me. So just leave me alone."

Again, John just let Alan rant.

A couple of tears escaped Alan's eyes. "Why aren't you l-l-listening to me? This is how you help me? Why won't you do what I ask?"

Finally John broke his silence. "I am listening to you."

"Then why ar-ar…won't you leave?" Alan asked despondently.

"Because I know that it's not what you really want." John answered quietly.

"You know?" Alan exploded in anger again. "How the hell would you know? You don't know anything…not a d-d-damn thing. I hate you." Alan's tears began to fall harder. "Do you hear me, John? I **hate** you."

John stood and moved Polly from his shoulder to the back of the chair. He sat at the edge of the bed and pulled Alan into an embrace. He gently rubbed his back. "It's okay, Alan. Just let it out."

Even though Alan tried to fight it, he began to sob into John's chest. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry. I'm just af-af…so scared."

"I know. I know." John whispered as he blinked rapidly fighting his own tears as memories flooded his mind. Memories of a time when he was in Alan's shoes.

Neither brother paid attention to the time as they clung to each other. Eventually, Alan's sobs subsided, but he stayed in John's arms.

John began speaking. "Alan, it wasn't that long ago that it was me who was scared, angry and in pain, and I took it out on you. I said hateful, hurtful things, just like you did today. Gordon came to my aid. He was there for me, and he helped me get through my ordeal. Now I know that he is willing to be there for you too, but so will I. **I **am going to be here for you. It's the least that I can do. Any time that you want to talk, rant, yell or cry, call me. I will be here for you."

Alan pulled back and looked at John's face. He could see the sincerity showing through John's tears. "Thank you, John." He said as he lay back against his pillow.

"Anytime, little brother, I love you." John replied.

Alan cleared his throat. "So, this is Polly. Will she let me h-h-h…pet her?"

"Of course," John said as he moved Polly from the chair to Alan's bed. "Say hello, Polly."

Polly squawked. "Hello Polly…hello Polly."

Alan smiled. "She's not very good at conversation, is she?"

John laughed. "She just does what she is told."

Polly moved up Alan's arm and began to pull at his hair.

"Hey!" Alan yelped.

John grabbed Polly's feet and moved her out of range of Alan's head. "Sorry. I thought it was just me that she pulled hair with. Maybe it's the blond color. Just be grateful that you're not Virgil. She keeps pooping on him."

Alan laughed lightly as he shook his head. "What about Gordon and Scott? Does she do s-s-s…anything to them?"

John put Polly back on the chair. "Gordon is the only one she seems to behave for. Scott hasn't really been around her much."

Alan rolled his eyes but didn't say anything.

John decided to take advantage of the opening in the conversation. "Speaking of Scott…I have a question for you, but I don't want you to get upset."

Alan gave John a wary look. "What?"

"Do you want Scott to resign from International Rescue?" John asked.

"What?" Confusion crossed Alan's face. "Where did that come from?"

John ducked his head and picked at some imaginary lint on his pants. "I…uhm… well, I was in the lounge this afternoon talking to dad when Scott came in. He seemed to think that it would be better for you and your recovery if he resigned and left the Island. I asked him to put off making a final decision until I had a chance to talk to you. I want to find out what was really going on with you."

Alan sighed and looked at the ceiling. "I don't want Scott to qu-qu…resign. I was just having a really bad day today, and I was taking it out on everyone who crossed my path…Scott, Brains, you, even Tin-Tin. I didn't really mean what I said. It was just the emotions talking."

John nodded his head. "I thought it was something like that."

A questioning look crossed Alan's face. "What do you mean?"

John shrugged. "It's like I said before. I was in your shoes. It was roughly the same time into my recovery that I had my breakdown. It had been two weeks since my accident. Even though the pain had diminished, the memory of it was still pretty fresh. Plus, I was trying to adjust to not being able to see. I tried to convince everyone that I could still do everything I did before without any help, but I couldn't. It scared me. It scared me bad. My fears basically took over, and I was convinced that I would never see again…that I would be left alone in this world of darkness. I exploded at anyone in earshot, you, dad, Gordon. Our injuries may be different, but our reactions seem to be pretty much the same."

"Maybe we're more alike than anyone ever thought." Alan replied.

Just then Gordon entered the sickroom. "Hey guys, how's it going?" He spotted Polly. "Hey, there's Polly." Cooing to the bird, he said. "How's Polly? Polly's a pretty bird. Say 'pretty bird' Polly. Say 'pretty bird'."

John rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut up, Gordon."

"Squawk! Shut up Gordon." Polly copied.

Alan let out a laugh, and Gordon gave John an astonished look. "You taught her that?"

John shrugged. "I guess she just heard it enough to copy it."

"Well, fine," Gordon said with a pout. "Since I knew that you had a rough session this morning, I came here to see if my favorite younger brother needed anything, and this is the thanks I get."

Alan shook his head. "I'm your **only** y-y…little brother, Gordon."

"Picky, picky." Gordon replied.

The three brothers laughed. Alan realized how good it felt to laugh. Even though he still faced an uphill recovery battle, and his fears still lingered in the back of his mind, it still felt good.

While the brothers were laughing, Tin-Tin entered the sickroom carrying a tray with some food. She got a nervous look on her face when she saw John and Gordon in the room. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."

Gordon turned away and started talking quietly to Polly.

John shook his head. "It's no interruption. What have you got there?"

Tin-Tin shook her head and seemed distracted. "Uhm…since Alan didn't eat much at either lunch or dinner; Brains wanted him to have an extra protein drink tonight. Your dad thought you may need an incentive to drink it, so my father arranged some desserts for you. There are a couple of different Jellos, a variety of popsicles, and a few different types of puddings. Although, Brains said that you can only have two items **after** you drink the protein drink."

Gordon turned back to Alan, carefully avoiding eye contact with Tin-Tin. "Well, it looks like everything is under control here, so I think I will take off. I'll stop by tomorrow."

"Don't l-l…go, Gordon." Alan said. "Tin-Tin brought plenty. Stay and have dessert with me."

Gordon looked uncertain for a moment but then shook his head. "I'd better not. I had dessert already. I wouldn't want to risk losing my nice trim figure."

"Like that is going to happen." John said. "You could just do a few extra laps in the pool."

"I can't really." Gordon mumbled while looking at the floor. "I have things to do." He then quickly left the sickroom.

"Gordon…" Alan tried to stop him, but Gordon left without acknowledging Alan. "Well…what was that all about? He was fine just a minute ago."

"I have no idea." John replied puzzled. "But I intend to find out. You guys have fun and enjoy your dessert." He got Polly and headed toward the door. Just short of it, he turned and asked. "Hey, is it okay if I tell Scott about our earlier conversation?"

"Why don't you have him stop by t-t-tomorrow?" Alan answered. "I should be the one who talks to him."

"Sounds good." John replied as he left the sickroom.

Alan turned to Tin-Tin. "So, will you stay and enjoy a dessert with me?"

Tin-Tin gave Alan a small smile. "Of course, but first…the protein drink."

"Yes, ma'am," Alan replied as he reached for the drink.

* * *

John returned Polly to his room, and then stopped by the lounge and told Scott that Alan wanted to speak to him the next day. He then set out to search for Gordon. He found Gordon doing laps by the pool lights. John slipped out of his shoes and sat at the edge of the pool and let his legs dangle in the water.

Gordon did another four laps before pausing next to John.

"The way you're going at those laps, you could've had that extra dessert." John teased.

Gordon shrugged. "I just wasn't hungry."

John shook his head. "It was more than that. When Tin-Tin brought in the food, you seemed to get…uncomfortable, I guess is the best way to describe it."

Gordon gave John a saucy grin. "I have no idea what you are talking about. You must be dreaming."

"Don't give me that." John argued calmly. "You know exactly what I am talking about. Are you sick? Or are you mad at Tin-Tin about something?"

"No, I'm not sick." Gordon declared indignantly. "Now quit with the twenty questions." Gordon climbed out of the pool and began to dry himself off.

"You didn't answer me about Tin-Tin." John pressed.

Gordon sighed exasperatedly. "No, I'm not mad at Tin-Tin either. Happy?"

John stood and shook the water from his legs. "Then why didn't you want to eat? We, Tracy men, are not known to turn down food."

"You're just not going to let this go, are you?" Gordon demanded.

John shook his head. "Nope, not until you give me the true explanation for your actions."

Gordon sighed. "Fine, if you want to know the truth, I'll give it to you. I just thought that Alan and Tin-Tin deserved some time alone. I'm glad that you also left soon after I did so they could have it."

John stopped and thought for a second. "You're right. I hadn't really thought about that. Do me a favor, though. Explain that to Alan tomorrow. He also thinks there is something wrong."

"Sure," Gordon answered, but he thought to himself. "I'm glad he bought it. Now I just have to convince Alan." Speaking aloud again, he told John. "Well, I'm heading to my room. I need to check my e-mails, and then I think I will try to head to bed early tonight."

John nodded. "Okay, Gordon, have a good night. I'll see you in the morning."

Gordon headed into the villa while John laid out in one of the chaise loungers and lost himself among the stars that he loved.

* * *

Author's Note - SURPRISE!!!! We have some great news, at least some will think that it is great news. We have reached the point that we can go back to weekly updates. YAY!!! The only exception will be the weekend of Nov 16-18 since Convert will be out of town. We are letting you know well in advance, so no grumping when that weekend hits.

Anyways, we hope that you enjoyed this chapter with all it's emotions running freely. Even with knowing that the shooting was an accident, and that there were major misunderstandings abound, things just don't "miraculously" go back to normal. It will take a while (granted probably shorter than in true life, but still a while.)

Loved the reviews. Some of our readers are getting on to us. Thanks to everyone who read the chapter and especially to our reviewers. Thanks again. See you next weekend.


	34. Bombshell

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 34 – Bombshell

Four days later, Gordon entered the sickroom after breakfast. "Well, they're on their way to Five. In a few hours International Rescue will be back in operation." He announced flamboyantly.

Alan laughed at his excited brother. "I guess the world will breathe a sigh of relief. I can't un-un…believe that John didn't set the relays properly. It's not like him to be careless."

Gordon laughed lightly. "Well, that just shows how upset he was. He screwed up something that he should have been able to do with his eyes closed."

"How come nobody realized the m-m…problem before today?" Alan asked.

"Well, during the time that we were shutdown, nobody paid attention to the emergency channel. We had more important things to worry about, namely you. But I will tell you this; it'll be good to get back in action." Gordon replied.

"Did we miss many calls?" Alan asked.

Gordon shrugged. "A few. There was a volcanic eruption in Japan, an earthquake in Peru, a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico, and a forest fire in Canada. There was also a sixteen car pile up in Florida and a building collapse in Moscow."

"Was there many deaths?" Alan wanted to know.

Gordon nodded. "There were some, a few in the earthquake, a couple in the auto accident, but the biggest loss of life was in the building collapse. There were twenty-three people killed there, but they were killed in the initial collapse. There was nothing that we could've done to save them."

Alan shook his head. "How is Brian Worth dealing with all this?"

"You mean our 'loyal consumer advocate'?" Gordon sneered sarcastically. "He's keeping a running total of the rescues that we've missed, the death toll, the monetary losses, etc."

"I'm sorry. This is all my fault." Alan responded.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it." Gordon said. "Brian Worth is a self-absorbed jerk. He has made no secret about his feelings about International Rescue even when we were in service. Plus a lot of the 'missed rescues' that he is counting are ones that we wouldn't have responded to anyhow."

"Like what?" Alan questioned.

Gordon sighed. "Like a train derailment that spilled a load of grain. There were no injuries and no risk to the surrounding area unless you count the influx of birds and squirrels that tried to get to the grain. Or he listed a naval ship that hit a shoal and put a hole in the hull. Never mind the fact it was a small hole, and the ship's pumps handled the leak, and the ship limped back into port without any other problems. Plus, he lists every known fire whether or not the fire department has it under control."

Alan shook his head. "What is wrong with that guy? What did we ever do to him? Why is he so hell bent on dragging International Rescue through the mud?"

"We'll probably never know." Gordon answered. "Maybe he thinks that he can make a name for himself but by stepping on the backs others. Maybe he is hoping that we will make a mistake, and he will be 'proven right' about us. Who cares, really? Nothing we do or say is going to change him. I wouldn't worry. We have plenty of other news reporters that are favorable to us. Besides, it really doesn't matter what others think about us. We'll just keep doing our jobs."

"Yeah, you're right. Hey, did dad say why he is keeping John down here?" Alan asked. "We've worked with just three operatives whenever one of us were on va-va…away from the Island or even hurt in the past."

Gordon nodded. "I think it was John's idea. I don't think he wanted to leave you just yet. I know that I wouldn't want to be up on Five right now."

Alan shook his head. "I can't believe that I thought that you guys didn't want me."

"I can't believe it either." Gordon laughed but then sobered. "No seriously, looking back, we can all see how our actions were misconstrued. If I could go back and change things, I would."

"There's no use dwelling on the past." Alan interrupted. "We just have to m-m…go forward from here."

"You're right." Gordon glanced at his watch. "It's almost time for your therapy. Who's going to be helping you this morning? Obviously, it isn't going to be Scott or John since they are gone."

"Actually, it was Scott's turn, but Tin-Tin vol-vol…offered to take his place since he was needed elsewhere." Alan replied.

"Well, I better get out of here before Tin-Tin gets here." Gordon said.

"Gordon," Alan began. "Is there something going on between you and Tin-Tin? Are you guys f-f-f…not getting along?"

Gordon pasted what he hoped was an innocent look on his face. "Now, what would be 'between' us? I just don't want to be accused of keeping you from your therapy."

"Are you sure?" Alan pressed.

Gordon nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure. Hey, look, I'll see you later. I'm scheduled to work with you this afternoon, so if I don't see you before then, you know when I'll be back."

"Okay, Gordon, I'll see you then." Alan said as Gordon left the sickroom.

* * *

A few weeks later, John entered the sickroom after the morning therapy session. "Hey, Alan, I just heard the good news. It's about time that you got sprung from the sickroom."

Alan smiled as he packed his few personal belongings in a small bag. "It will feel so good to finally sleep in my own bed again."

John laughed. "I'm surprised that Brains was able to keep you here this long."

Alan laughed along with John. "Believe me, I was trying, but Brains was adamant. I had to be able to move in and out of the wheelchair by myself before he would release me."

"It won't be much longer before you're out of that chair and on your own two feet." John said.

Alan grimaced slightly. "It won't be soon enough."

John encouragingly patted Alan's shoulder. "Patience, Alan, just look at how far you have come in this short of a time."

Alan rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't say that five weeks is a 'short time'."

"It is when you're talking about therapy." John argued but then switched topics. "If you're ready, I can take you to your room."

Alan handed his bag to John. "You carry that. I have to maneuver the chair. It's another one of Brains' stipulations for my release."

"Okay," John said simply as he slung Alan's bag over his shoulder. The two brothers were heading for the door when Tin-Tin entered. "Hey, Alan, Brains said you were being released from the sickroom. I thought I'd come down and see if you needed any help."

Alan shook his head. "Thanks, but John beat you to it."

John laughed. "Don't let him fool you. He was in such a hurry that he was practically ready to go when I got here." He started to hand the bag to Tin-Tin. "Here, you can carry this for him. I'm sure that you two are anxious for some 'alone' time."

"No!" Alan said sharply. When John and Tin-Tin turned to him with shocked looks on their faces, he softened his tone. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. It's just that I need to speak to John alone for a few minutes."

"Are you sure that's all?" Tin-Tin asked nervously.

Alan wasn't sure what to make of Tin-Tin's question. "Yeah, that's it. We can have some 'alone' time this afternoon. Is that all right?"

Tin-Tin smiled in relief. "Sure, that's fine. I just wanted to make sure that you weren't mad at me for something."

"Did you do something that I should be mad about?" Alan teased.

The nervousness returned in Tin-tin. "No! It's just…Well, I didn't know if there was another 'misunderstanding'. I didn't want to…well…never mind."

Alan nodded. "Don't worry about it. There hasn't been a misunderstanding. We'll talk later. I love you."

Tin-Tin smiled. "A woman never tires of hearing that." She leaned in and gave Alan a kiss on the cheek. "I love you too. I think I will go help my father in his garden until lunchtime."

"Okay, I'll see you later." Alan replied, and he headed once again towards the door.

John gave Tin-Tin a small wave. "Bye, Tin-Tin, I'll see you around."

Tin-Tin silently returned the wave as John followed Alan out of the room. She felt the nauseousness returning in the pit of her stomach. Shaking her head, she thought to herself. "You have to get a grip on your guilt. It's making you sick."

* * *

Once the two brothers reached Alan's room, John set the bag on the bed and sat down next to it. "Okay, Alan, what did you want to talk about?"

Alan turned his chair to face John. "I wanted to talk about when you are planning on returning to Five."

John laughed lightly. "What are you trying to do? Get rid of me?"

Alan nodded. "As a matter of fact, yes, I am. Things need to get back to normal around here."

John shook his head and teased. "I think that's impossible. There's nothing 'normal' about this family."

"You know what I mean." Alan replied. "International Rescue doesn't need you down here. It's been up and running for the last three weeks, and you haven't been sent out once. It's time for you to get back to work."

"I'm perfectly fine being here." John responded. "Besides you never know when they will need me on a call."

Alan gave John a disbelieving look. "You don't think that I don't know what you're doing? You're staying on the Island because of me. Because you promised to be here for me."

"Or I could just be enjoying this long vacation." John challenged.

"Yeah, right," Alan answered. "You forget. I know you too well. You're just dying to get back up to the stars you love so much. Now, I **am** really grateful for what you have done, but now I'm telling you that I'm fine now, and I don't need you to stay with me anymore. Please, I want you to return to Five. I want you to start living **your** life again, doing the things that you want to do. I don't need you as a babysitter anymore."

"Okay, Alan, if that is what you really want." John replied. "I'll talk to dad about sending me back up to Five, but just remember that you can call me at anytime to talk. Just because you're out of the sickroom doesn't mean that you won't still have bouts of depression. Trust me. I've been there. I know."

"I'm sure that I will be taking you up on that offer." Alan said. "You may actually get tired of me."

John laughed. "I really doubt it, but you can try."

* * *

It took two days, but John was finally back on Thunderbird Five. Thunderbird Three had left almost an hour ago. John had spent the time unpacking and double checking the safety protocols. Now he stood at the observation window looking out at the stars. Alan was right. He really had missed this. As much as he enjoyed being on the Island around his family, the stars gave him a sense of peace which is exactly what he needed after the past few months.

* * *

Over the next two weeks, life on Tracy Island settled into a more normal routine. Alan still had his daily therapy sessions, but the other family members worked on various projects that had been overlooked in the past couple of months. Jeff was making plans to head to the New York office to handle some business. The brothers split their time between their ships and just spending time with each other.

Gordon had spent most of the morning touching up the paint on Thunderbird Four. She had been used on a rescue the day before. A plane had crashed off the coast of Australia, and Four got a few scratches by some of the floating debris. Now that Thunderbird Four was back to Gordon's sense of perfection, he was relaxing by doing some leisurely laps in the pool. As he reached the pool's end, he noticed a shadow that hung over the pool. Stopping, he looked up and saw Tin-Tin standing there. "Hey, Tin-Tin, what brings you out here?"

"I was looking for you." Tin-Tin replied. "We need to talk."

Gordon pulled himself out of the pool and began to dry off. "Okay, shoot."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "In private, can you come to my room after lunch?"

Gordon bowed his head. "Tin-Tin, I really don't think that is such a good idea."

"I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important." Tin-Tin countered. "Please, Gordon."

Gordon sighed. "Okay, I'll meet you."

Tin-Tin turned and briskly walked away without another word.

* * *

After lunch Gordon knocked on Tin-Tin's door, and she let him in. He could tell that she was nervous about him being there which only heightened his anxiety. He took the offered chair and sat down.

Tin-Tin sat on the edge of her bed. Her body faced Gordon, but she would not meet his eyes. "Oh God, this is really hard." She muttered to herself. Clearing her throat, she spoke. "We need to talk about what happened between us."

"No, we don't." Gordon interrupted. "We agreed on that right after Alan woke up. What we did was wrong. It wasn't personal. It didn't **mean** anything. We can't **ever** let Alan know what happened, so we can't **talk** about it ever. It's too risky. It may somehow get back to Alan. So that's it. There's **nothing** to talk about."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "I know that we agreed not to talk about it, but something has come up."

Gordon stood and began pacing. "I know what you're going to say."

Tin-Tin's head jerked up. "You do?" She asked.

Gordon, though, seemed oblivious to Tin-Tin's question as he continued pacing and rambling. "It's Alan, isn't it? He's been asking you questions about us. I know because he's been asking me questions too. He has noticed that we've been acting different to each other."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "It's not that. It's…"

Gordon continued speaking; ignoring the fact that Tin-Tin was trying to speak. "As far as Alan goes, we just need to start acting 'normal' around him. I know that is really hard to do, but we need to try for Alan's sake."

"Gordon, please, this isn't about…" Tin-Tin tried to get Gordon's attention again, but he just kept talking himself.

"I mean I know that neither of us are real comfortable with each other right now." Gordon continued his pacing. "But that's our guilt wreaking havoc with us. **We** have to work through this. We can't let Alan suffer for what we did. If I wasn't needed to be here for International Rescue, I'd leave the Island for a while to give ourselves some time to work through this…" Gordon laughed sarcastically. "And you obviously can't go. That would be a dead give away that something is wrong. Alan needs you here, so you have to stay. We will just need to work on it and figure out a way to be around each other without…"

Finally, Tin-Tin blurted out in exasperation. "Gordon, I'm PREGNANT!"

* * *

Author's Note - For all our reviewers who pleaded for Alan to never find out...we are soooo sorry. We really did try to fight it, but the muse was adament. Please read the rest of the story before you come after us with stakes and pitchforks. You may actually like how we resolve all this.

Then for all those who reviewed last chapter, we hope that the replies that we sent made sense. We were both suffering from colds, and our brains were kind of clouded at the time we did them. We would have waited, but our schedules this week was kind of crazy, and we wanted them done before this chapter was posted.

Last, but not least, next weekend is the weekend that we will not be posting. We know. We are really bad leaving it for TWO weeks after that ending, but alas, schedules are what they are. (Actually, Convert is glad to have an excuse to hide, and she's NOT telling where she is going.)

We hope that you all enjoyed this chapter. Drop us a line and let us know what you think. (But please don't be too cruel if you're mad.) Thanks for reading.


	35. Explanations

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 35 – Explanations

Alan had just finished checking his email when he heard a knock on his door. "Come in. It's open." He called out. He looked up from his computer to see Virgil standing in the open door. "Hey, Virgil, you didn't need to come get me. I can make it to my therapy sessions all by myself."

Virgil nodded. "I know, but then I couldn't give you this." He held out a wrapped package to Alan.

"What is this?" Alan asked as he took the package from Virgil.

Virgil shrugged. "It's just something that I made for you."

"But why?" Alan pressed. "It's not my birthday."

"It's just something that I wanted to do." Virgil answered.

Alan raised his eyebrow in slight disbelief. "Are you sure that you just 'wanted to do' it? Could there be more to it?"

"All right, fine," Virgil sighed. "I've still been feeling guilty about what I did. So, I thought I'd make you something. I hope you like it."

"If it's your work, I'm sure that I will." Alan said. "But you didn't have to do this. I told you that I don't blame you for what happened. I wish you wouldn't blame yourself. It's not good for anyone."

"I know." Virgil replied. "And I'm trying to work through this. I'll feel a whole lot better once you're back on your feet. Come on. Open it up, and let me know what you think. Then we can head to your therapy."

"Okay," Alan said as he tore the wrapping away from the package. "Oh my God, Virgil, it's beautiful." He said in awe as he stared at an eight by ten portrait of his mother. Alan blinked back the tears that quickly formed as he took in the beautiful face from his vision with a soft glow shining from behind. "It's just like I remember her."

"I hoped it would be." Virgil replied nervously.

Alan looked at Virgil in surprise. "You believe that I saw her? I was under the impression that you guys thought I had just dreamed it."

Virgil thought for a moment before responding. "I really don't know what you saw. It may have only been a dream, but then again, it could have been real. Who am I to pass that kind of judgment?" Virgil ducked his head for a moment. "It's nice to think that she's still here watching over us."

Alan nodded. "Yeah, it is."

Virgil cleared his throat. "Did she…I wanted…I mean…did she say anything about us? Or send a message to us?"

Alan bowed his head. "Well, she didn't give me individual messages for you guys, but she did say that she loved us and that one day when the time was right, that we would all be together again."

Virgil thought for a moment and then nodded his head. "I see. Well then, enough of this melancholy. Let's get you down to the sickroom for your therapy. We wouldn't want to get in trouble for you being late."

Alan gave Virgil a mock salute. "Yes sir, after all, we both know what a slave driver Brains can be."

Virgil laughed. "Come along, Alan. Maybe after your therapy, we can play a game of chess or something."

Alan began wheeling his chair towards the door. "We'll see how I feel after the session. Come along brother dear. I have a date with some exercise equipment."

"You better hope that Tin-Tin doesn't find out." Virgil teased. "You know what they say about jealous females."

The two brothers laughed and teased each other as they made their way to the sickroom.

* * *

Jeff stood just inside the sickroom door watching as Brains and Virgil worked with Alan. Had it really only been just shy of two months since he had resigned himself to his youngest child's death? Jeff contemplated how quickly life can change. Sometimes, it was good like Alan's recovery, but sometimes it was bad like when he lost his beloved Lucy. He knew that life was not fifty-fifty when it came to the good and bad. He also knew that he had more than his share of good fortune, but he was extremely grateful when Alan was returned to him. It was a blessing that he had wanted but had not expected. 

"M-M-Mr. Tracy?" Brains voice broke into Jeff's thoughts.

"Oh Brains," Jeff said, bringing himself back to the present. "You're done with the therapy?"

Alan wheeled his chair towards the door. "Yeah, Brains figured that he has tortured me enough for today."

"Be grateful." Virgil said. "Look at what his 'torture' has accomplished so far."

Jeff smiled wanly and nodded to his sons.

"Are you okay, Dad?" Virgil asked. "You seem a little out of it."

"Yeah, I'm fine." Jeff answered. "I was just thinking."

"Anything important?" Alan questioned.

Jeff replied. "I was just thinking about how grateful I was that you're alive and doing so well."

"Aw…Dad's getting sentimental." Virgil teased.

"You just wait." Jeff teased back. "Things will look different when you are looking at it through the eyes of a father."

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Well, I don't think that's going to be anytime soon. I need to find a girl first, and with my job that seems almost impossible."

Jeff laughed. "I guess I will have to do something to change that."

"Not just for me." Virgil responded. "My brothers would probably appreciate it too." Patting Alan on the shoulder, he amended that statement. "Well, maybe not all my brothers, after all, Alan here has a girlfriend. Isn't that right, little brother?"

"Bite me." Alan tried to sound mad, but couldn't. "Are we going to play chess before dinner or not?"

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, what's your big hurry? Got a hot date or something?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." Alan replied. "I've made arrangements with Kyrano for a nice, quiet, intimate dinner in my room for just me and Tin-Tin."

"See, you just proved my point." Virgil laughed. "Are you sure that you even want to play chess? Or do you want to get ready for your big date?"

Alan gave Virgil an irritated look. Turning towards Jeff, he asked. "Do you want to watch me whip Virgil's butt in chess?"

"In your dreams, Alan, in your dreams." Virgil remarked.

Jeff shook his head. "I may catch the end of the game, but first, I need to talk to Brains for a minute."

"Okay, see you later." Alan said, and Virgil nodded his head in agreement. The two then left the sickroom.

Jeff turned towards Brains who had moved away from the group while they were teasing each other. He tried to look like he was working, but Jeff knew that it was just busy work.

Jeff held up a piece of paper. "Brains, I wanted to talk to you about this. Please tell me that you're not serious."

Brains shook his head. "I'm s-s-sorry, Mr. Tracy, b-b-but I am serious. I think it w-w-would be best for everyone."

"Explain that to me." Jeff demanded in exasperation. "How exactly is resigning best for us? Don't you realize how much we depend on you?"

Brains turned away nervously. "You c-c-can't trust me. L-l-look at what I've d-d-done. I almost k-k-killed Alan."

Jeff shook his head. "You didn't almost kill Alan. You simply gave me the information that you had. I was the one who made the final decision."

"B-b-but the information I g-g-gave you was inc-c-correct." Brains argued. "You m-m-made that decision on f-f-faulty information. Inf-f-formation that I g-g-gave you. So it was my f-f-fault."

Jeff sighed heavily. "You told me what your professional opinion was. You also consulted with a specialist who agreed with your assessment. So you couldn't have been too wrong with it. I also remember that you told me that you couldn't give me a one hundred percent guarantee. I took all that into consideration when I made my decision. It wasn't your fault."

Brains shook his head. "I'm s-s-sorry. This is how I f-f-feel."

"Fine, if that is the way you feel," Jeff decided to switch tactics. "But I would like to ask you one thing: why did you wait so long to resign? Why didn't you quit right away?"

"Alan n-n-needed me." Brains explained. "Just b-b-because he had awakened, h-h-he was not 'out of the w-w-woods'. He n-n-needed immediate m-m-medical attention. I c-c-couldn't leave him like that, but n-n-now he has recovered to the p-p-point that I feel I c-c-can leave."

"So you were willing to stay because you were needed?" Jeff asked.

"Yes, Mr. T-T-Tracy." Brains replied. "I believe that was my p-p-point."

"But don't you see?" Jeff pressed. "You're still needed here. You'll **always** be needed here. You're an integral part of this team. International Rescue couldn't function without you, but there's more than that. You have become part of this family. I know that I haven't told you that enough. I just assumed that you knew. The important point is that I don't want to lose you."

Brains bowed his head. "Please, Mr. Tracy, d-d-don't make this harder th-th-than it is."

Jeff sighed. "I'm not trying to make it harder. I just don't want to see you make a decision out of guilt, a decision that we'll both end up regretting."

Brains shook his head again. "I c-c-can't help the way I f-f-feel. If the v-v-vent had been t-t-turned off any earlier, Alan w-w-would have d-d-died." He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I c-c-can't forgive m-m-myself for that. I just c-c-can't."

"Well, I'm not going to accept your resignation." Jeff said. "I need you here."

Brains turned to face Jeff. "You d-d-don't have a choice."

"God, this has so gotten out of hand." Jeff mumbled to himself. "I have to do something about this."

Confusion crossed Brains' face. "What c-c-can you do?"

Jeff looked at Brains in surprise. He hadn't realized that he had spoken out loud. "I've been a fool to think that we could handle this on our own. We need professional help. I should have brought someone in weeks ago. We all need to face up to the guilt that is tearing us apart."

"D-d-do you have an idea on whom to c-c-call?" Brains asked. "It's n-n-not like you can just ch-ch-chose one out of the phone b-b-book."

Jeff nodded. "A couple of International Rescue's operatives are psychiatrists. I thought I would start there."

Brains nodded. "That is a g-g-good idea."

Jeff returned the nod. "The question is: will you stay and take advantage of the help?"

"I'm not s-s-sure." Brains answered.

Jeff placed a hand on Brains' shoulder. "Please, Brains, don't leave. Stay here and get the help. Let us help each other."

Brains could see the emotions running through Jeff's eyes. "All right, I'll st-st-stay."

"Good," Jeff replied. "That's good. I'll see you later. I need to make some phone calls."

Brains nodded and went back to his work, and Jeff left the sickroom.

* * *

Tin-Tin blurted out in exasperation. "Gordon, I'm pregnant!" 

Gordon sat down heavily in the chair with a dumbfounded look on his face. "You're what?"

"I'm pregnant." Tin-Tin repeated, this time in a much quieter tone.

"And it's mine?" Gordon asked the shock still evident in his voice.

Tin-Tin avoided eye contact as she silently nodded her head.

Gordon ran a hand over his face. He stood and moved towards the window. "I can't believe this. It was only the one time." He mumbled to himself, but Tin-Tin heard him anyways.

"It only takes one time." Tin-Tin told him.

Gordon spun around to face Tin-Tin. "Weren't you on the pill? I mean…haven't you and Alan been doing…oh God, you weren't a virgin, were you?" Gordon's face had paled considerably. "No, wait, I shouldn't be asking about your personal life…well, maybe about the 'virgin' part…if I was your first…oh God, what have I done?" Gordon began rambling again.

"Gordon, stop!" Tin-Tin exclaimed loudly to get his attention. He looked at her in confusion, and she continued. "Relax. You were not my first, and yes, I have been taking a birth control pill, but it's not one-hundred percent effective. No birth control is…well, except abstinence." Her voice trailed off as she tried to explain, but then she strengthened her voice. "It doesn't really matter. I'm pregnant, and we have to deal with it."

Gordon nodded, but asked. "Are you sure it's mine? Maybe there's a chance that it's Alan's. Isn't there?"

Tin-Tin gave Gordon a look of unbelief. "Gordon! Between Alan's schedule and then his accident, we haven't been 'together' in five months." Holding her arms out, she asked sarcastically. "Do I look like I am five months pregnant?"

Gordon got red in the face. "How would I know?" He shot back. "How often am I around pregnant females?"

"You're right. I'm sorry that I snapped at you." Tin-Tin replied.

"Hey," A thought ran through Gordon's mind, so he asked Tin-Tin. "It's been what? Almost two months since we had…that we were…I mean…well, you know. Shouldn't you have known before? I don't mean to sound dense here, but aren't women supposed to have a menstrual cycle every month? So what gives?"

Tin-Tin rolled her eyes. "Typical man. Look, I'm going to tell you a few things about women and menstrual cycles. Number one: Not all women have regular monthly cycles. Now, in my case, I usually do. Number two: Other things besides pregnancy can affect a woman's period, like stress. We both know that there hasn't been a lack of stress around here lately. Number three: Not every woman stops having a period immediately when they get pregnant. Some women have periods that first month while a few will even have them each month through the first trimester. Now last month, I had an unusual period which I chalked up to stress, although it could also have been caused by the pill too, but when I totally missed my period this month, I grew concerned. Believe me. This is the last thing that I ever wanted."

Gordon sighed heavily. "So, what are we going to do?"

Tin-Tin bowed her head. "There's really only one option open to us. I think you know that."

Gordon shook his head. "You can't do that. I know how important **all** life is to you. You can't even bring yourself to kill a fly."

"But with the circumstances…" Tin-Tin began, but Gordon cut her off.

"I know that the circumstances aren't the best." Gordon said. "But I'm sure that if we discuss our options, we can reach a resolution that we can live with."

Tin-Tin crossed her arms and challenged. "Like what?"

Gordon shrugged. "Well, you could have the baby and raise it here on the Island. I know the idea of being a single mom is scary, but you won't be, not really. I'll be here to help you raise our baby, as will the rest of the family. You'll have plenty of help. I promise."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "Not an option."

Gordon sighed. "Well, then, I can take the baby to raise. Again, being a single parent won't be easy, but I'll have all the help that I mentioned to you. You won't have to do a thing for the baby."

"Do you really think that I could really live here and see you raising our child and not do anything?" Tin-Tin asked disgustedly.

Gordon sat down and reached out and took Tin-Tin's hand. "We could get married, and raise the baby together."

"What?" Tin-Tin asked in shock.

"I know that you don't love me that way." Gordon continued speaking. "But with a little work, we could make it work. We'd have our child, and maybe in time, we would learn to love each other like a married couple would."

"Are you crazy?" Tin-Tin replied pulling her hand away from Gordon's. "I could **never** marry you." She saw a flash of hurt cross Gordon's face, and she felt guilty for what she was putting him through. "Don't you get it? Don't you understand what the **one** reason that makes all your suggestions invalid options? It's **Alan**. We agreed that he could never know what happened between us because it would hurt him too much. Neither one of us wants to see him hurt or see him relapse. We definitely don't want to give him a reason to consider suicide again. It's not a question of who will raise the child. Just me going through the pregnancy will give us away. You know as well as I do that in order to spare Alan, we only have the one option. It's just about killing me to have to decide between my baby and Alan. As much as I hate to use it as the deciding factor, the truth is, this baby is a mistake. If it would only affect the two of us, my decision would probably be different, but it's not just us. Alan would also have to pay, and I can't do that to him. I can't allow him to be hurt because of my mistake. I just can't." Tin-Tin's voice choked with tears. She turned away from Gordon as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

Gordon felt himself tearing up as he listened to Tin-Tin. Clearing his throat, he said. "You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you. It's just a lot to take in within this short time. Have you checked into it? What's the next step?"

"I've already made an appointment for tomorrow." Tin-Tin answered. "I really don't know why I even told you. I guess I just felt that you had a right to know this has happened."

"Well, you can't go by yourself." Gordon told her. "I'll fly you over."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "I was planning on asking my father to do it. You may be needed here."

Gordon looked at Tin-Tin in alarm. "Does your father know about the baby? I mean, does he know what you are planning on doing?"

Tin-Tin shook her head. "No, I just planned on telling him that I need a procedure to correct a 'female' problem. It's not an actual lie. Yet, he won't press the issue."

"Don't bother your dad." Gordon re-iterated. "I'll take you to the mainland."

"But what about International Rescue?" Tin-Tin pressed. "It's already short handed. How are you going to convince your father to let you go?"

"Don't worry about it." Gordon replied. "I'll figure something out. I'm just as responsible for all this as you. I should be there when you end it. What time do we have to leave?"

"We should leave by eight in the morning at the latest." Tin-Tin answered him.

Gordon nodded. "Okay, I'll meet you in the hanger at seven-thirty."

"Okay," Tin-Tin replied. Gordon headed for the door. Just short of the door, she stopped him. "And Gordon, I'm sorry for how things have turned out."

Gordon paused for a moment, sadness showed on his face. "So am I, Tin-Tin. So am I." He then slipped out the door.

* * *

Author's Note - Okay, was that mean of us to make you wait until the end of the chapter to find out Gordon's reaction? We know. You're all probably ready to kill us. Will Alan find out about the baby before Tin-Tin has the abortion? Will he try to stop her? Join us for the next chapter and find out. We'll be wrapping this up soon. We promise.

Thanks to all our faithful readers and reviewers. We never would have made it this far if we didn't have your encouragement. Thanks again!


	36. Alan Finds Out

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 36 – Alan Finds Out

Alan looked across the table at Tin-Tin. He could tell that something was bothering her even though she hadn't said anything. He had asked Kyrano to make Tin-Tin's favorite dishes, but all she seemed to do was push the food around her plate. "Is there something wrong with the food?" He asked.

"What?' Tin-Tin asked startled but then shook her head. "Oh no, it's fine. I'm just not really hungry right now."

"Are you sure?" Alan continued. "I'm sure that I could get your father to bring you something else."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "Really, it's fine. I don't need anything else."

Alan set his fork down. "Tin-Tin, is there something wrong? Are you mad at me about something?"

Tin-Tin sighed as she moved her hands to her lap. She placed her right hand against her still flat abdomen. "I'm sorry, Alan. I shouldn't have come for dinner." Alan gave her a confused and hurt look. She quickly continued. "Oh, it's nothing that you have done. I just have a lot of things on my mind. Maybe I should just leave."

"No, don't go." Alan said. "Stay and talk to me. Perhaps I can help you with whatever is bothering you."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "I can't really talk about it. It's kind of a personal matter."

Alan reached across the small table to take Tin-Tin's hand, but she bowed her head and refused to take his hand. "Please, Tin-Tin, I can see that something is tearing you apart. I want to help you. I promise that whatever you say I will keep it a secret."

Tin-Tin sighed. "No, I'm really sorry. Look, I have to be up early in the morning. I'm going to the mainland."

"Maybe I can go with you." Alan suggested. "I'll talk to Brains…"

"NO!" Tin-Tin's head shot up in alarm. She forced herself to calm down. "It's not that I don't want you there, but this isn't a pleasure trip. You would be bored stiff."

Alan continued to press. "Is it business? I could help with that. I should be getting back into the business, even if I can't go out on rescues."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "No, it's not business. I just have an appointment, and then I'll be heading straight home."

Alan moved his chair so that he was sitting next to Tin-Tin. He reached out and took her hand. "Tin-Tin, please let me in. Let me help."

Tin-Tin looked down at the intertwined fingers. "Alan, please don't push. I really can't talk about it." A few tears slipped from her eyes.

"Okay," Alan nodded. "I'll stop pressing after you answer one more question."

Tin-tin nodded but didn't look up. She used her free hand to brush at the tears that were slowly falling from her eyes.

Quietly and gently, Alan began. "I'm really not sure how to ask this. I'm either going to be right on target or you are going to think that I've gone completely off my rocker, but…" He paused for a moment and then asked. "Are you pregnant?"

"What?" Tin-Tin's head came up again, shock registering on her face. "How could you know?" The question slipped out before Tin-Tin had even thought about it.

"It was just some little things that seemed to fit together." Alan began to answer her question without really thinking, but then Tin-Tin's statement hit him. "You mean it's true? I was right?"

Tin-Tin looked back down at her lap. She nodded as her tears fell even harder.

"This is what your appointment is about tomorrow. Isn't it?" Alan asked. He saw Tin-Tin nod, but he also grew concerned at the tears that continued to fall. "Tin-Tin, sweetheart, is there something wrong with the baby?"

Tin-Tin shook her head and replied through her tears. "Not that I know of."

"Then why didn't you want to tell me?" Alan asked in confusion.

Tin-Tin's tears turned into harsh sobs. She tried to speak, but Alan couldn't understand what she was saying.

"I can't understand you." Alan said. "You have to calm down. This can't be good for you or the baby."

Tin-Tin took a few deep breaths to pull herself under control.

Once he could see that Tin-Tin was calming down, Alan asked again. "Now, once more, why didn't you want to tell me about the baby?"

"Because I didn't want to hurt you." Tin-Tin answered through her hitched breaths.

"Hurt me?" Alan was confused again. "How could finding out that I am going to be a father possibly hurt me? This is the best possible news. I love you so much Tin-Tin." Alan leaned over to kiss Tin-Tin, but she pulled back away from him.

"There's something that you should know about the baby." Tin-Tin couldn't meet Alan's eyes. "It's the part that will hurt you."

"What is it?" Alan asked nervously.

Tin-Tin looked at Alan but then dropped her gaze. "I'm just under two months pregnant."

It took a moment for Tin-Tin's statement to sink in. Alan sat back in his chair. "It's not mine." He stated plainly.

The tears began to fall harder again. "I'm so sorry, Alan. I really am. I never intended for you to ever find out."

"And how was I not going to find out?" Alan spat out sarcastically. "You don't think that I would notice you growing with child, or that a baby suddenly turns up on Tracy Island? How dumb do you think I am?"

Tin-Tin played with her fingers. "I'm not having the baby."

Her statement stopped Alan short. "What do you mean that you're not having the baby?"

Tin-Tin stood and moved to the window. "The appointment tomorrow…it's for an abortion."

Alan turned his chair to face Tin-Tin's back. "Abortion? You can't have an abortion. It'll tear you apart."

Tin-Tin turned slightly to look at Alan over her shoulder. "But it would tear you apart if I went through with the pregnancy. I can't do that to you."

Alan shook his head. "Isn't it a little late to consider my feelings? Shouldn't you have thought about that when you and…who **is** the **father**?" Alan suddenly asked.

Tin-Tin turned back toward the window. "I won't tell you. I don't want to ruin your relationship with him because of my mistake."

"Never mind, I know who it is." Alan replied. He keyed his watch. "Hey, Gordon, can you come to my room, please."

Tin-Tin spun around quickly. "Alan, no!"

Gordon's voice came over the watch. "Is there a problem?"

Alan gave Tin-Tin a warning look, and she kept quiet. "I need to talk to you. It's important."

"Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes." Gordon's voice replied.

As soon as Alan disconnected his call to Gordon, Tin-Tin knelt next to his wheelchair. "Please, Alan, don't do this. It wasn't Gordon's fault. We didn't mean to do it. It didn't mean a thing. I swear."

"Yeah, sure it didn't." Alan turned away from her.

A knock on the door prevented Tin-Tin from replying. She stood as Alan hit the sensor to open the door. Gordon stepped through the door. "Hey, I was just next door in my room. So, what's up?"

"I want to know how long you have been screwing my girlfriend." Alan demanded angrily.

Gordon's face blanched as his eyes flew to Tin-Tin. She shook her head and quietly admitted. "I'm sorry. It just slipped out."

Gordon ran a hand over his face. "I swear. It was just that one time. We didn't plan on this. It just kind of happened. It didn't mean anything."

"Sure, it didn't mean anything." Alan snarled. "You don't think that I know that you have a secret crush on Tin-Tin."

Tin-Tin looked at Gordon in surprise. "Gordon…"

Alan interrupted her. He continued to berate his brother. "You just couldn't wait to make your move. How'd you do it? Sweet talk? Candy? Wine? What's your secret of stealing your brother's girlfriend?"

Gordon shook his head. "It wasn't like that, Alan. I was just trying to comfort her."

Alan snorted in disgust. "Some comfort."

Gordon flushed with shame. "Please try to understand, Alan. We had just said our goodbyes to you. We were emotionally despondent. We only intended to talk. I swear to God, that was it, but one thing lead to another, and it just happened. It was a **huge** mistake. We had never wanted you to ever find out, but fate obviously had other plans. I'm so sorry. If I could go back in time, I would. I wish I could change this. I would never purposely hurt you."

"So, let me get this straight." Alan challenged. "You never meant to hurt me. Yet while I was laying in the sickroom fighting for my life, and as far as you knew, I was drawing my last breath, you were 'comforting' my girlfriend by having sex with her. Oh yeah, that's not going to hurt me."

"You weren't supposed to find out." Gordon replied in frustration.

"Of course not," Alan yelled back at Gordon. "I was supposed to be **dead**. Maybe the next time you should make sure that the boyfriend really is dead before you sleep with the girl."

"Stop it!" Tin-Tin broke in. "Just stop it!" Tears streamed down her face. "It wasn't Gordon's fault. It was mine…all mine."

"Tin-Tin, don't." Gordon pleaded.

Tin-Tin turned to face Gordon. "No, I won't let you take the blame for this. It's not right." Tin-Tin knelt next to the wheelchair. She took one of Alan's hands in her own. "Please, don't do this. Don't ruin your relationship with Gordon because of what I have done."

"What are you saying?" Alan asked.

Tin-Tin ran a finger along Alan's cheekbone. She looked him full in the face. "I'm saying that it was me. **I **went to his room. **I **searched out his comfort. When things started to get serious, he wanted to stop, but **I **was the one who wanted to continue. He tried to push me away, but **I** begged him to continue. If **I **had listened to him, we wouldn't be in this situation. So, don't blame Gordon. Blame me."

Alan looked up at Gordon. "Is what she is saying true? Did you try to stop?"

Gordon sighed. "It's not like she is making it sound. She was really hurting. She thought she had lost you, the love of her life. She was an emotional wreck. She was overwhelmed by sadness, fear, anger, and despair. She wanted to feel loved again, and she was willing to take it from anyone."

"But you tried to stop?" Alan asked again, this time with not as much anger in his voice.

Gordon bowed his head. "I should have tried harder."

Alan softened his voice. "I'm sorry, Gordon. I just assumed that you took advantage of Tin-Tin when she was so vulnerable."

"It's understandable." Gordon nodded his head. "I would feel the same way if the situation was reversed, but you've got to believe us. We didn't want to hurt you. That's why we kept it a secret. Nobody else knows. I swear."

Alan removed Tin-Tin's hand from his cheek. He held it in his own and gently stroked the back of it with his thumb. "Well, that explains your behavior to each other over the past few weeks."

"It was our guilt eating at us." Gordon admitted. "Every time we saw each other, we were reminded of our betrayal. It became easier just to avoid each other than to deal with our emotions."

Tin-Tin gripped Alan's hand tighter. "But this isn't about us. We did something terrible, and we've hurt you immensely. Saying we're sorry seems so inadequate. I just hope that someday you will find it in your heart to forgive us."

The words "forgive us" seemed to echo in Alan's mind. He suddenly flashed back to his vision of him and his mother. They had been talking about forgiveness.

_Lucy gripped Alan's hands in her own. "Alan, listen to me. You hide so much even from yourself. Trust me when I tell you that nothing is too big for __**you**__ to forgive."_

_"Do you really think so?" Alan asked starring at his and his mother's intertwined fingers._

_"I __**know**__ so." Lucy responded. "I also know that soon you will have to dig deep to forgive a mistake, but you will need to. A life will depend on it."_

_Alan's head snapped up at that statement. "A life? Whose? One of my brothers?"_

_Lucy shook her head. "No, but you will know whose when the time comes."_

Alan suddenly realized that the time had come. The life that needed to be saved was the life of Tin-Tin's unborn baby. His mother was also right that this would be a hard thing to forgive. The betrayal that he felt cut him deeply. He also knew that even though he was intensely angry with Gordon and Tin-Tin at the moment, he still cared about them too. He knew that to cut them out of his life would also cause him pain. So for himself, as well as Tin-Tin and Gordon, he decided that he had to forgive them.

"I forgive you." Alan said quietly.

Gordon and Tin-Tin shared confused looks. "What?" Tin-Tin asked.

Alan looked between Tin-Tin and Gordon. "I said that I forgive you…both of you."

Gordon shook his head. "Alan, I really don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything." Alan interrupted. "Just because I said I forgive you doesn't mean that this is over. Stating forgiveness doesn't mean that the pain that I'm feeling has just miraculously gone away. I'm going to have to work at this, but I feel that repairing my relationship with the two of you is worth the effort."

"I think I understand." Gordon replied. "If there is anything that I can do, just let me know."

Tin-Tin nodded. "Me too. Anything that you need or want me to do, just ask me."

"Marry me, Tin-Tin." Alan replied.

"What?" A bewildered Tin-Tin asked.

"I asked you to marry me." Alan replied.

"You want me to marry you?" A stunned Tin-Tin asked. "But what about the baby?"

Alan placed a hand over Tin-Tin's stomach. "You'll keep it, and we'll raise it together."

Tin-Tin looked up at Gordon and then back to Alan. "But what about Gordon? This is his baby too."

"I know." Alan looked at Gordon but addressed his comments to Tin-Tin. "And he will be involved in this child's life. This baby will be raised like any other child from two-parent homes. As a matter of fact, with us all living on the Island, he will be involved almost as if he was your husband."

Tin-Tin flushed slightly as she remembered Gordon's earlier proposal that she had turned down. She turned to look at Gordon with an unspoken question in her eyes. He gave her a barely perceptible nod of his head. She turned back to Alan. "I know this isn't the way that either of us had envisioned a proposal, but I accept. It has been my greatest dream to become your wife, no matter what the circumstances."

Alan leaned forward and kissed Tin-Tin long and deeply. When they separated, Alan said. "I love you Tin-Tin."

Tin-Tin's eyes filled with tears, this time with joy. "I love you too, Alan."

Gordon cleared his throat, slightly embarrassed. "I think that I should leave now. I'm sure that you two have a lot of plans to make, starting with a date."

"How about tomorrow?" Alan asked Tin-Tin.

Tin-Tin shook her head. "I don't think so. There's no way I can plan a wedding in one day. We'd be lucky to get the marriage license."

"We could elope." Alan suggested. Tin-Tin's only reply was a raised eyebrow. Alan laughed lightly. "Okay, okay, we'll plan a wedding. How about a month from today? Is that enough time?"

Tin-Tin smiled. "I think that's doable. I'm sure that once we tell our families, we'll have a ton of help."

Gordon quietly made his way towards the door, but stopped when Alan called to him.

"Hey, Gordon," Alan said. "I'm going to need a best man."

"You want me?" Gordon asked in disbelief. "After what I did?"

Alan nodded. "My forgiveness needs to start somewhere. Besides you were my closest brother before this happened. It just seems right."

"Thank you, Alan." Gordon's voice choked with emotion. "I can't tell you what this means to me. I'd be honored to be your best man."

"We can talk about it more tomorrow." Alan said. "Plus, there's something 'private' that I need your help with."

"Sure thing, Alan." Gordon replied in confusion. "Goodnight, you two. I'll see you in the morning."

Once Gordon left the room, Tin-Tin turned to Alan. "Are you sure that you want to do this? I don't want you to feel trapped."

Alan brought Tin-Tin's hand to his lips and kissed it. "I won't feel trapped. I always figured that we would be together some day. This just gave me the push I needed."

"I love you so much, Alan." Tin-Tin said. "But I really should leave now."

Alan nodded. "Okay, get plenty of sleep tonight. Tomorrow, we start with the wedding plans. Plus we need to discuss your pre-natal care with Brains."

Tin-Tin leaned in and kissed Alan. "You're right. Goodnight, Alan."

Alan watched Tin-Tin as she left the room. Once she was gone, he moved to the window. He stared at the moon that illuminated the clear sky. He thought to himself. "Oh, Mom, I hope you're right that I can forgive this because I'm really going out on a limb trying." Sighing, he turned away from the window. Deciding to take his own advice, he began to ready for bed.

* * *

Author's Note - Well, Alan now knows, and a proposal. Wow. We know. Some of you don't think that Alan would never react like this, but until a situation happens, you never really know how a person will react. People can really surprise you when push comes to shove. Anyways, we hope that you liked this chapter. The family will be finding out in the next chapter. We hope you all stick around for that too.

Thanks again to all our faithful readers and reviewers. We still sit in amazement at the reception of this story.


	37. The Family is Told

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 37 – The Family is Told

The next morning, after Alan's physical therapy, Alan, Gordon, and Tin-Tin met with Jeff in his private office.

Jeff cleared his throat. "First off, I just want to say that I'm just a tad bit irritated with all this 'secrecy' bit that's been going on here. Gordon, you came to me yesterday insisting that you just **had **to go to the mainland with Tin-Tin for reasons you couldn't tell me which in and of itself was confusing since the two of you have been avoiding each other for the past month at least, maybe longer."

Gordon and Tin-Tin exchanged troubled looks, but Jeff continued without giving either one a chance to respond. "Oh, don't be so shocked. I can tend to be blind when it comes to things right in front of my face, but I am trying to do better. Imagine my surprise this morning when I found out that after the ruckus you raised yesterday that not only had you cancelled your trip, but that Tin-Tin had too. When I tried to ask why, you put me off. I feel like I'm being kept out of the loop, and I don't like it. So, I hope I'm going to get some answers and not another run around."

"It's my fault that they put you off." Alan told his father. "I needed to be here for this meeting."

"No, it's my fault." Tin-Tin interrupted. "I needed to make some arrangements. I wanted to have some specifics before we came to you again."

Jeff shook his head. "It really doesn't matter whose fault it is. I just want to know what is going on. So who's going to tell me?"

The three looked at each other. Alan nodded and turned to his father. "I'll say it. Tin-Tin and I are getting married."

The shocked look on Jeff's face was almost comical. He then began to smile. "That's great news, not exactly what I was expecting, but it's still great news. Congratulations, you two. Your grandmother is going to be thrilled. Have you thought about a date yet?"

Alan nodded. "Next month, on the tenth."

"That's not much time." Jeff replied. "Are you sure that you want it that quickly?"

Tin-Tin nodded her head. "We don't need much time. It's just going to be a small wedding with just the family and a few close friends."

Jeff nodded. "Okay, if that's what you want, but you'll have to explain this to your grandmother. She's from the 'old school'. To her, a quick wedding means a baby is involved."

At Jeff's remark, Gordon stared at a corner of the room, while Tin-Tin bowed her head and fiddled with her fingers. Alan cleared his throat and told his father. "There is a baby involved."

Jeff's gaze flew immediately to Tin-Tin. "You're pregnant?" He asked. Tin-Tin nodded, but Jeff could have sworn that she had brushed a tear from her eye. "Well, that's even better news." He remarked. "Wow, my first, grandchild…congratulations again, you two."

Alan cleared his throat again. "Actually, it's Gordon who deserves that congratulation."

"Gordon?" Jeff asked looking to his red-headed son. "Just what did you do?" He asked menacingly.

Before Gordon could answer, Tin-Tin spoke. "It's not Gordon's fault. Don't blame him."

"Don't give me that." Jeff replied as he moved around his desk to stand in front of Gordon. "I know how it works. How could you do this to Tin-Tin? To Alan?"

Gordon stared at the floor. "I'm sorry, it just kind of happened."

Jeff continued his lecture. "Getting a woman pregnant doesn't 'just happen'. I know. I've done it five times. I thought I taught you better than that, Gordon. I am so disappointed in you."

Gordon felt like he had been punched in the stomach. That was the worst thing that his father could have said to him. He, like all his brothers, had always tried to make their dad proud, and to disappoint his father because of this was crushing. "I'm sorry, Dad." He said quietly.

Alan heard the sadness in Gordon's voice, and he understood it. If he was in Gordon's shoes, he would be feeling the same way. "You don't have to fight for me Dad." The words were out of his mouth before he even realized it.

"What?" Jeff said as he turned to Alan.

"They explained what happened." Alan replied. "It was…"

"Are you saying that you are okay with this?" Jeff asked in disbelief. "That you're okay with the fact that your girlfriend, no correct that…fiancée, soon to be wife, is having your brother's baby?"

"No, I'm not saying that." Alan replied.

Tin-Tin and Gordon looked at Alan in surprise. "Alan, what are you saying?" Tin-Tin gasped.

Alan kept his gaze on his father. "What I'm saying is that I understand how this happened. They were trying to comfort each other when they thought I was dying, and they crossed a line, one that they normally would never have ever thought about crossing. Intense grief can mess with your thinking like it did with them. Now, I'm not saying that I'm not hurt by this or that I'm not angered by this, but what good would harboring these feelings really get me? It would only destroy my relationship with Tin-Tin and Gordon. I had to ask myself if it was really worth it, and I decided that no, it wasn't."

Jeff blinked in surprise. "That's very mature of you, Alan. I didn't look at it that way."

Alan shook his head. "That doesn't mean, though, that the hurt and anger just miraculously disappeared, but **I **have to deal with that. The best way I know how to do that is to go on with my life."

Jeff nodded. "I understand. Gordon, I'm sorry for jumping on you without thinking this through." Gordon just nodded but didn't look at his father.

Jeff looked at Tin-Tin. "Does your father know yet?"

Tin-Tin nodded. "Yes, after breakfast, Alan and I spoke to him. Alan asked for his blessing on our marriage."

"I think he was grateful that I honored his beliefs." Alan added.

"What about the baby?" Jeff asked.

"He is aware of the circumstances." Tin-Tin replied. "And he is accepting it."

"Was he angry?" Gordon wanted to know, feeling a bit uneasy. He had never seen Kyrano angry, and he certainly didn't want to see Kyrano get angry at him.

Tin-Tin shook his head. "No, he feels that any child is a blessing no matter what the circumstances are, and he is grateful that we worked out an arrangement so that I am keeping the baby."

"So, I don't have to worry about an angry father coming after me for 'de-flowering' his daughter?" Gordon asked.

Alan laughed. "De-flowering? Where'd you dig up that term?"

Gordon just gave Alan a withering look, and turned back to Tin-Tin.

"No," Tin-Tin told him. "Obviously, he wasn't real happy about the circumstances, but he is NOT going to come after you."

"Good," Gordon replied lightly. "I wasn't looking forward to having to get a taste tester for all my food that he prepared."

"Well, you're safe from my father." Tin-Tin laughed. "But I would be more concerned about what your grandmother is going to do to you when she finds out."

Gordon groaned. "Don't remind me."

"Speaking of…" Jeff began. "When are you going to break the news to the rest of the family?"

"We thought we would mention it at lunch today." Alan answered.

"Are you going to tell the entire family that Gordon is the father of the baby?" Jeff asked as he moved back around his desk.

Tin-Tin nodded. "Yes, we are. We don't want to have any secrets. Besides, we've agreed that Gordon will be heavily involved in this child's life as he should be. The rest of the family would figure it out eventually. It's better to be truthful from the start."

"Okay," Jeff nodded. "I just hope that you are all ready for the reactions from your brothers. Who knows what will happen?"

Alan just shook his head. "We'll just deal with it as it comes."

Jeff looked at the three people in front of him. Obviously, they had discussed this before coming to see him. "Well, I'll see you shortly for lunch. Alan, I'd like you to stay for a moment."

"There's one more thing we need to discuss." Gordon finally spoke up again.

"I'm not sure that I'm up for anymore surprises." Jeff said.

"Nothing like that." Gordon shook his head. "Tin-Tin has an appointment with an obstetrician on Friday. I need to fly her and Alan there."

"An obstetrician?" Jeff questioned. "What about Brains?"

"I spoke to him this morning." Tin-Tin explained. "We finally found an area that Brains doesn't feel comfortable with. He asked me to go to an obstetrician. He felt it would be safer in case any complications arise."

"Makes sense." Jeff replied, but then got a questioning look on his face. "If you only talked to Brains this morning, where were you planning on going today?"

Tin-Tin bowed her head in shame. "I was going to go to a clinic for an abortion. At the time I made the appointment, Alan was not aware of what we did, and I didn't want to hurt him."

Jeff's face softened. Because of her beliefs, he knew how hard it was for her to have even considered an abortion, let alone make an appointment for one. He looked at Alan. "She really loves you, Alan."

Alan reached out and took Tin-Tin's hand. "I know." He exchanged a knowing glance with his father. "I'm not going to let a love that deep get away."

Jeff nodded. "Okay, well, I see no problem with you taking them on Friday, especially in this case. Is there anything else?"

The three young people shook their heads.

"Okay, then," Jeff replied. "Tin-Tin, Gordon, I'll see you later." Once they had left the lounge, he looked at Alan. "Are you really okay with all this? Marriage is a big step. I'd hate to see you rush into it just because of the baby."

Alan nodded. "Tin-Tin basically said the same thing last night. So, I'll tell you the same thing I told her. I have known for a while that I wanted to marry Tin-Tin. The baby only gives me a reason to do it now."

Jeff smiled. "That's good to hear. Have you thought any about a ring?"

Alan shook his head. "I just figured that maybe we could look on Friday after Tin-Tin's appointment."

"Or I have your mother's wedding set." Jeff volunteered. "I also have her mother's set and a variety of rings that you can use as an engagement ring. So all you would need to get is the wedding band. Would you like to see them?"

"Sure," Alan replied. "I just assumed that Scott would get mom's wedding set."

"I think your mother would approve of you giving it to Tin-Tin." Jeff replied. "Besides, who knows if Scott will ever get married?"

Alan laughed. "Oh, you never know. Someday, a woman could come in and sweep Scott off his feet."

"She would probably have to smack him upside his head to get his attention." Jeff laughed. "Come on. The jewelry is in the small safe in my room." The two left the office and joked and laughed as they headed to Jeff's room.

* * *

Alan entered the dining area to find part of the family already there. Gordon, who was still giving Kyrano a wide berth even though Tin-Tin had said that he wasn't angry, was setting the table while Virgil was in the kitchen hovering around his grandmother as she filled the serving dishes. 

Grandma smacked Virgil's hand when he tried to sneak a piece of roast beef off the platter. "You stop that young man. Go help your brother set the table." She admonished.

Virgil laughed and gave his grandmother a kiss on the side of her head. "Yes, ma'am."

Tin-Tin was busy cutting lemon wedges for the iced tea. When she saw Alan enter, she moved to his side. "How'd it go with your father?"

"It went fine." Alan answered. "He just wanted to make sure that I knew what I was getting into." He pulled Tin-Tin's head down and gave her a kiss. Then he whispered in her ear. "Are you ready for this?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." Tin-Tin whispered back.

Virgil noticed the pair with their heads together. "Geez, you two, get a room will ya."

Alan just smiled. "You're just jealous that I have someone to kiss." He then gave Tin-Tin another kiss.

Jeff and Scott entered the dining area together. Scott had some papers in his hand that he was showing to his father. "This is the third time that we have gotten bad parts from them." Scott was saying. "We have to quit ordering from them. It's a waste of money and time, and more importantly, it's a safety hazard."

Jeff sighed. "I know you're right. We've just been doing business with that company for years. I feel bad that we have to sever a long time business relationship."

Scott shook his head. "You can't feel bad. You did warn them, and it's not like these are hidden flaws. Quality control should have caught them."

"Enough shop talk." Grandma told them. "Sit down. Lunch is ready."

"And it smells wonderful." Jeff said as he and the rest of the family took seats around the table.

Once the food had been passed around, and people began eating, Jeff cleared his throat. "I have an announcement to make." Alan and Gordon exchanged worried glances, and Tin-Tin pushed the food around on her plate. Jeff continued speaking. "Next week, I have agent fifty-two coming out to the Island for three days. Her name is Dr. Cheryl McCall. She's a psychiatrist."

The table got quiet at their father's announcement. Even the three younger ones were surprised by it.

"Why are you bringing a psychiatrist out here?" Virgil asked.

"Well, because I think that we can all benefit by talking to someone about what has happened over these past months." Jeff explained. "I thought we could handle this on our own, but after Brains tried to resign yesterday, I realized that we couldn't deal with this on our own."

"Resign!" Alan blurted out. "Why did he want to resign?"

Jeff sighed. "He thinks that he almost killed you."

"But that's ridiculous." Alan sputtered. "How can he think that?"

Jeff shook his head. "He feels that he gave me inaccurate information when he said that you would never wake up."

"But he didn't." Scott interjected. "He viewed the brain scan, and he even consulted a specialist."

"I **know** that." Jeff said. "And I tried to assure him that I didn't hold him responsible for anything. I asked him for information which he gave me to the best of his knowledge. Unfortunately, he is still blaming himself."

Alan folded his napkin and placed it next to his plate. "Where is he? I need to talk to him. I need to convince him **not** to resign."

"Hold on, Alan," Jeff responded. "He's probably in his lab. That's usually where he is when he misses a meal. There's no reason to rush off. I did convince him to stay until after he has a chance to speak to Dr. McCall. Now, I can't make any of you see her, but I highly recommend it."

"But three days isn't very long for her to 'cure' all of us." Virgil pointed out.

Jeff smiled. "I don't intend her to. This is more a 'get to know you' time. Then we'll follow through, each at our own pace, with her at her office in Arizona."

"All right." Virgil nodded.

"Anyways," Jeff began again. "That's my announcement. Does anyone else have one to make?"

Alan caught the knowing look that Jeff gave him along with a small nod of his head. Clearing his throat, Alan said. "Now that you mention it, I do have an announcement." He noticed that Tin-Tin had quit eating. He reached out and took one of her hands in his own. "Tin-Tin and I are getting married."

After a moment of stunned silence, Scott and Virgil were patting Alan on the back while grandma hugged first Tin-Tin and then Alan.

"Congratulations, little bro."

"You've got a fine woman here."

"It's about time you two got married."

"It won't be too long before there'll be some little Tracys running around here."

"All right, all right." Grandma interrupted her older grandsons. "Sit back down. I'm sure that we all have a lot of questions, but there's no reason that we can't eat and talk at the same time."

"Before you all start asking questions, there is one thing that I need to do." Alan said. Again, he took Tin-Tin's hand in his own. "Last night, when I proposed, I was missing something." With his free hand, he pulled a ring from his pocket. It was a ruby surrounded by small diamonds nestled in a white gold setting. "This ring belonged to my mother. I want you to wear it as a token of my love and our commitment together."

"Alan, it's beautiful." Tin-Tin gasped, as tears filled her eyes. "I would be honored to wear your mother's ring."

"And on Friday, when we are on the mainland, we can go by the jewelers and see about a matching wedding band." Alan offered.

"I'm surprised that you didn't take one of the sets." Scott said.

Alan shook his head. "Dad offered them to me, but I thought the ruby would be more meaningful."

"Oh really," Scott teased. "A ruby is more meaningful than a diamond? Do tell."

"It's nothing." Alan said.

"Well, the ruby is July's birthstone." Virgil joined in the teasing. "But neither of your birthdays are in July. Could that possibly be when the wedding is going to be?"

"No," Alan answered. "The wedding is going to be next month, on the tenth."

"Next month?" Scott asked in surprise. "Like as in January?"

Alan nodded his head, but before he could say anything. Grandma interrupted. "Next month? Oh, no, no, no, we can't possibly be ready for a wedding in a month. There's just so much to do. We need to send out invitations, and they should be sent out at least six weeks before the wedding. Before we can do that, we need to find a place to have it." She turned to Jeff. "Maybe you can rent one of those convention centers near your office in New York. Plus, you'll need to make a list of business contacts that you want to invite."

"Grandma…" Alan tried to speak, but she chattered on about wedding plans.

"We need to line up a caterer, a florist, photographer, and someone to officiate. So you two will need to decide if you want a religious ceremony or a civil one." Grandma clicked off professions as she mentally developed elaborate wedding plans. To Tin-Tin she said. "You need to decide how many attendants you are going to have. We'll need a designer for your gown and the bridesmaids' gowns."

"Mrs. Tracy…" Tin-Tin tried to interrupt, but Grandma seemed oblivious to anything but her plans.

"Maybe Lady Penelope can help us with that." Grandma continued speaking. "She knows plenty of designers. Perhaps, we should hire a wedding coordinator just to alleviate some of the pressure."

"Mother!" Jeff said loudly.

Grandma looked at Jeff in surprise. "Why, Jeff, there's no reason to take that tone. I'm just trying to help."

Jeff forced his volume level lower. "But you're not listening."

Grandma looked back and forth between Alan and Tin-Tin. "You don't want my help?" She asked dumbfounded.

"We do want your help." Alan replied. "But we are not going to have a huge wedding. It's just going to be family and a few close friends."

Grandma turned to Jeff. "Will you talk to your son? A wedding needs to be memorable. It's a day that they will want to remember forever."

"And they will." Jeff told his mother. "Their way. It is their wedding after all."

"Please understand, Mrs. Tracy." Tin-Tin said. "A big wedding just isn't important to us. We'd much rather spend our day with loved ones that we can devote our time to instead of mingling with people we hardly know."

Grandma nodded. "If that's what you want. I'm sorry that I got carried away, but I didn't have any daughters to give a big fancy wedding to. I thought maybe this could be my chance to help plan one."

"You can help us plan it, Grandma." Alan replied. "But just a nice, small, intimate wedding here on the Island…next month."

"So," Scott changed topics. "If you're getting married next month, what is the significance of the ruby?"

Alan looked at Tin-Tin, and she gave him a nod. "It's when the baby is due." He said quietly.

Eyes around the table flew to Tin-Tin. "A baby? You're pregnant?" Scott sputtered.

Tin-Tin nodded, and there was another round of congratulations, pats on the back, and hugs. Gordon, though, remained in his seat and pushed his food around his plate.

Once everyone had returned to their seats, Scott laughed. "Well, I guess that explains the quickie wedding."

"Yes, it does." Grandma said. Addressing Alan, she continued. "Now, I'm not necessarily happy that you put the cart before the horse, but I am glad that you are correcting it."

"Let's see." Virgil began doing the math in his head. "If you're due in July, you're what? Somewhere around six weeks pregnant, give or take a week, depending on **when** in July you're due."

Tin-Tin nodded. "I'm a little over seven weeks."

Scott laughed out loud. "Well, I guess we know what Alan and Tin-Tin were doing while they were alone in the sickroom."

Virgil laughed too. "You sly dog, who knew that you had it in you?"

Alan blushed slightly and stared at his plate. "There's one more thing about the baby that you guys need to know." He paused for a moment before he said. "It's not mine."

The smiles on Scott's and Virgil's faces fell.

"Alan, that's not funny." Virgil said.

"It has to be yours." Scott added. "Number one, we all know how Tin-Tin feels about you. Number two, she hasn't left the Island in months. If it's not yours, whose could it be?"

For the first time since sitting down to lunch, Gordon spoke. Quietly, he admitted. "It's mine."

* * *

Author's Note - Okay folks, we are sorry that we didn't get to respond individually to each of our reviews for the past chapter, but unfortunately our schedules didn't work out for us to meet this week, but here are a general response. 

Thank you to every one who took the time to review. We do appreciate them. For the most part, they are encouraging to us, but then for the couple of ones that took issue that Alan wouldn't have turned around so quickly...well, you could be right, but then again, this is our story and we wrote it OUR way. We could have spent the next few chapters having Alan grouse and complain about the situation, but that would have gotten boring real fast. And for those who thought that Alan would NEVER have forgiven Tin-Tin and Gordon, probably most people are that hard-hearted, but not everyone. Convert just happens to know a couple of brothers who were in a similar situation. They both have daughters by the same woman, and they have work the situation out for the sake of their families. So we know that it CAN work if the people are determined enough.

Anyways, here is our new chapter. We hope that you enjoyed it. We are in the process of wrapping this story up. Just a few more chapters to go. See you next week.


	38. Family Reactions

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 38 – Family Reactions

Scott, Virgil and Grandma sat in stunned silence for a moment.

Virgil broke the silence. "What did you say?"

Gordon looked between his two brothers. "I said that the baby is mine."

"What the hell did you do?" Scott's eyes narrowed in anger. "You, lousy, son of a…"

"Scott Carpenter Tracy!" Grandma interrupted. "You watch your tongue young man."

Scott shook his head. "I'm sorry, Grandma, but I just find it so ironic that while he is chewing me out for how **I** treated Alan, **he** is sleeping with Tin-Tin."

"It wasn't like that." Gordon tried to explain. "It was just one time. We didn't plan…"

Scott snorted in disgust. "That's your problem, isn't it Gordon? You never plan. You never think about the consequences of your actions, do you?"

"It wasn't Gordon's fault." Tin-Tin tried to defend Gordon.

"I find that hard to believe." Scott replied. Turning back to Gordon, he continued his lecture. "And it was 'just one time'? Like that is supposed to make things better? Well, it doesn't. A betrayal is still a betrayal, no matter how many times you did it."

"Scott, I think that is enough." Jeff told his oldest child.

Scott shook his head. "No, Dad, not in this case. He tore into us for hurting Alan, and goes and does this? No, Dad, he needs to be held accountable for his actions. He needs to know how hurtful this is. Right, Alan?"

Alan shook his head. "Actually, Scott, things are…"

Scott basically ignored Alan as he tried to speak. Scott went back to yelling at Gordon. "You lousy, two-faced hypocrite."

Gordon placed his napkin next to his plate and got up from his chair. Without a word, he left the room.

Scott started to rise from his chair intending to follow. "Just where do you think you're…"

"Sit down and shut up, Scott." Alan thundered.

Scott sat down with a dumbfounded look on his face. "What did you say?"

Alan rolled his eyes at Scott. "You're going to listen to me and listen good. What is going on with this baby is between me, Tin-Tin and Gordon. You are not involved."

"But, Alan, I…" Scott began to explain himself.

"No, 'but Alan', Scott." Alan cut him off. "You may be used to being in charge. You may be used to defending your brothers. You may be used to giving your opinion on every and any situation. **BUT** this is one time that you need to stay out of it. Otherwise, you will alienate not just one but **two** brothers. Is that what you really want?"

"Well, no," Scott shook his head. "I just wanted to help you."

"But you're not helping." Alan replied. "And you weren't listening when we tried to stop you."

"You're right." Scott admitted. "I'm sorry. I guess when something gets in my head; I'm like a bull in a china shop."

"I accept your apology." Alan said. "But you should also apologize to Gordon. He has been feeling very guilty ever since this happened." Alan reached out and took Tin-Tin's hand. "They both have."

"He shouldn't feel guilty." Tin-Tin said quietly.

The family exchanged confused looks. "What do you mean by that?" Virgil asked.

Tin-Tin's voice choked with emotion. "What I mean is that this is all my fault. Only Alan and **my** father know this because Gordon is too much of a gentleman to talk about what really happened. I won't let that silence ruin his reputation. The truth is that I sought him out. I was an emotional wreck after saying goodbye to Alan. I was seeking out some sort of comfort. When things started to move past the comfort stage, **Gordon** wanted to stop, but I was the one who pushed it. I was just so desperate that I pushed him into something that he really didn't want to do. **I used him**. Now, he's paying the price. His relationship with his family, especially Alan, has been tarnished. For that I am sorry."

Alan gave Tin-Tin's hand an encouraging squeeze. "When I first learned about the baby, I was furious. Like you, I assumed that Gordon had taken advantage of Tin-Tin during her time of grief. After it was explained to me, I had to make a decision. What was more important to me? Holding on to the hurt that I was feeling or my relationship with Gordon and Tin-Tin. I chose my relationships with them. I didn't want to turn into a bitter, old man by holding on to that hurt. I decided that I had to forgive them, for my sake, as much as for theirs. So, if I can forgive them, you should too."

Suddenly, Alan realized that even though it still hurt to think of Gordon and Tin-Tin together, he really did **want** to forgive them. His mother was right. Most people couldn't forgive something like this, but obviously, he could. Jumping to Gordon's defense against Scott and the protectiveness he felt for Tin-Tin proved it.

Alan looked around at his family. "I am grateful that you all care enough about me to be outraged, but please don't make matters worse with your good intentions. Don't try to fight a war that doesn't exist."

"If that's what you want," Jeff said, speaking for his sons as well as himself. "Then that's what we'll do."

Alan nodded. "It is what I want. Now, let's finish lunch."

Scott placed his napkin next to his plate. "I better go find Gordon. Hopefully, I can convince him to come back to the table."

"Make it a request, not an order." Jeff advised.

"Yes, sir," Scott replied as he left the room.

* * *

Gordon sat at his father's desk. He opened the comm. link to Thunderbird Five.

John answered almost immediately. "Hey, Gordon, how's it going down there?"

"Oh, everything is fine." Gordon answered. "How are things going up there?"

"Things are pretty quiet right now." John replied as he subconsciously scanned the monitors. He also noticed that something seemed "off" about Gordon. "So, what wonderful and delicious creations did you guys have for lunch?" He asked lightly, hoping to draw Gordon out with the idle conversation.

Gordon smiled wanly. "You really don't want to know. It would only depress you."

John laughed out loud. "You're probably right. This freeze-dried stuff up here just can't compare to Grandma's and Kyrano's homemade meals."

"How would you like a chance to enjoy those fantastic meals for yourself?" Gordon asked.

"What?" John responded in confusion.

"I thought that maybe I would come up and relieve you, so that you can spend some time with the family." Gordon explained.

John shook his head. "Gordon, I spent what? Over four months on the Island? I've only been up here for two weeks."

"It seems longer than that." Gordon mumbled under his breath, looking away from John's portrait.

"What was that, Gordon?" John asked.

Gordon looked back at John. "Oh, it's nothing." He lied.

John gave Gordon a disbelieving look. "Come on, Gordon. I know better that that. What's going on?"

Gordon shook his head. "Why does there have to be something going on? Maybe I'm just trying to be a nice brother. Have you even considered that?" He challenged.

"Look, Gordon," John answered. "I can tell that something has upset you. It's written all over your face and in your demeanor. I want to help you, but I can only do that if you talk to me. So, please, will you let me in? Tell me what's going on."

Gordon sighed heavily. "Well, I guess I might as well tell you. I'm sure that someone else will if I don't. It's not a secret after all. I mean, we just told that rest of the family. Of course, Scott blew up like a volcano, but I can't say that I really blame him. There was even a part of me that expected him to react that way because I probably would have said the same things if the situation had been reversed."

"Gordon," John interrupted. "You're rambling. What did you tell the family that upset Scott so badly? And who is the 'we' that you mentioned?"

"Sorry," Gordon looked away as he tried to collect his thoughts.

"Gordon?" John prompted when Gordon remained quiet. When Gordon turned back to the monitor, John could see the pain radiating from his eyes.

"I really messed up." Gordon said quietly. "It's really bad, and there's no way to fix it. It may end up tearing this family apart, and it will be all my fault."

"Oh Gordy," John tried to comfort his little brother. "It can't be that bad. You're probably being harder on yourself than you need to be. It tends to be a 'Tracy" trait."

Gordon shook his head. "No, this time I deserve everything…" Gordon paused a moment as he looked towards the door. John thought he could hear someone else speaking. Gordon turned back to the monitor with a scared look on his face. "John, I have to go." He said and quickly disconnected the comm.

* * *

Scott left the kitchen in search of his younger brother. Since he had no idea where Gordon went, he headed to the lounge so he could track Gordon's watch. As he neared the lounge, he could hear Gordon's voice talking and then he could hear John's voice in response. "This is going to be easier than I thought." He mused to himself. Once he stepped through the doorway, he addressed his brother. "There you are, Gordon. I was looking for you."

Gordon looked up at him with a look on his face like a deer in headlights. "John, I have to go." He said quickly and sprinted from behind the desk heading for the balcony doors.

"Wait, Gordon," Scott called to him, but Gordon was out the doors and racing down the steps as fast as he could go.

Scott headed for the doors, intent on following him, but the eyes on John's portrait began to flash. Scott was torn. He figured that John was calling back down because of Gordon's abrupt departure, but then again, John could be calling because of a rescue call that had just come in. He couldn't take that chance. He rounded the desk and connected the comm. unit.

John took one look at Scott and dove right in. "Scott, what the hell is going on down there?"

Scott looked at John's portrait. "Are you calling to report a rescue?" He asked.

John shook his head. "No, I was calling to see why Gordon is so freaked out."

"Then, I'll have to call you back." Scott replied. "I have to go and find Gordon."

"Oh, no you don't." John said in a seldom used command tone. "You will sit down and explain to me what has happened."

"You don't understand." Scott argued. "I have to talk to Gordon. I have to apologize for losing my cool."

"And even if you go after him, he will continue to run." John argued back. "Maybe if I knew what was going on, I could help you." Scott just looked like he was about to argue more, so John got tough. "You will tell me what is going on. Do you hear me, Scott Carpenter Tracy?"

Scott resignedly sat down in the chair and sighed heavily. "You know that's twice in the past fifteen minutes that I've been called by my full name." John just raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue. "How much did Gordon tell you?" He asked.

John shook his head. "Not much. He said that he had messed up, and that it was something that couldn't be fixed. He said that you exploded, and that he deserved everything that he got. He also wanted to come up to Five because of whatever this is."

Scott closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know if I should tell you. It's not really my place."

John narrowed his eyes at his older brother. "I'm making it your place. I am asking you straight out. What is upsetting Gordon so badly?"

Scott sighed again. "Okay, but if anyone gets mad, I'm going to tell them that you beat it out of me." He said, attempting to lighten the mood.

John gave Scott a small smile. "Cute, Scott, real cute, but I will beat it out of you if you don't start talking. I have to say that I'm getting a bit freaked out myself since nobody seems inclined to tell me what is going on."

"All right, all right," Scott said. "I guess the best thing to do is just to come out and say it. Tin-Tin is pregnant."

John blinked in surprise. That definitely wasn't the horrifying, family crushing problem that he had expected to hear. "Scott, I don't understand. That's a good thing isn't it? I bet dad is just popping his buttons…a grandchild. But I just don't see why that would have Gordon upset." Suddenly, the unspoken message flashed through John's mind. "Oh, no, Scott, please tell me it's not…" John's voice trailed away as he saw Scott shaking his head.

"It **is** Gordon's." Scott affirmed.

"Oh my God," John replied in a stunned tone. "Poor Alan, this has to be killing him. I understand why you were so upset with Gordon. How long have they known? Does it seem to be causing any setbacks with Alan? How could they do this to him?"

Scott shook his head. "Actually, Alan is taking it a lot better than I would have. As a matter of fact, Alan and Tin-Tin are getting married."

"They're what?" John sputtered out. "And he **knows** that the baby is Gordon's?"

Scott nodded his head. "He knows, and he says that he has forgiven them because it was a mistake made during their time of grief. He also chewed me out for getting angry with Gordon. He said it wasn't any of my business, and that if he could forgive them that I should leave well enough alone."

John was quiet for a moment, but then he said. "I guess our little Alan is growing up."

"Yeah, he is." Scott replied. "Well, I really do need to go. I have to apologize to Gordon."

"Okay, Scott, but go easy on him. He's really tripping because of all this." John told Scott.

"I will, John. I promise." Scott answered and then disconnected the comm.

* * *

Gordon had fled the lounge when Scott had entered. He just couldn't face another lecture from him. He had doubled back and sneaked through the house to his room. He lay on his bed and tried not to think, but fragments of the angry lectures that he received first from his father and then from Scott forced their way in. Every so often, he would brush away a stray tear form his eyes.

"This isn't going to work." Gordon thought to himself. "No matter what Alan says, I can't stay here on the Island. My family won't ever be able to forgive me. Every time they see the baby, they'll be reminded of what I did, and they'll get angry all over again. I was a fool to think that it could really work."

Gordon jumped a bit when he heard a knock on his door. He didn't want to talk to anyone, so he ignored it.

A few seconds later, he could hear Scott's muffled voice. "Gordon, I need to talk to you."

"Oh yeah, you just want to yell at me some more." Gordon thought. "Like hell am I going to offer myself up like some sacrificial lamb."

A few more seconds went by, and Scott spoke again. "Please, Gordon, I want to apologize. Please let me in."

Gordon laughed sarcastically to himself. "Yeah, right, Scott doesn't apologize."

Another few moments went by, Scott knocked again on the door. "Come on, Gordon. I know that you're in there. I tracked your watch."

Gordon glanced at his wrist. "Damn, that locator chip. Sure, if you're missing on a rescue, they're great, but if you want to hide, they're a pain in the butt."

When Gordon still didn't answer, Scott said. "Fine, have it your way. I'll just stay right outside this door until you talk to me."

Gordon frowned in irritation. He debated about letting Scott sit out there. "It would serve him right for being so bossy." Gordon thought. "But if I make him wait too long, he'll lambaste me for that too." Gordon made his way to his door and opened it. He immediately turned his back to Scott and refused to acknowledge him.

Scott tentatively stepped into Gordon's room. "Hey, Gordon," He began nervously. "Thank you for talking to me."

"Like you really gave me a choice." Gordon thought to himself, but he didn't speak as he moved to his window keeping his back towards Scott.

"Yeah, right," Scott nervously stumbled over his words. "Okay, look, about what happened at the table, I was out of line. I spoke before getting all the facts. I should have thought before I spoke, and I'm sorry."

Gordon looked over his shoulder. "What facts?"

Scott cleared his throat. "Well, Tin-Tin explained how she was the one who came on to you, and that she pushed you when you wanted to stop."

Gordon looked back out the window. "She shouldn't have said anything."

Scott shook his head. "Well, why not? It's the truth isn't it?"

Gordon sighed. "I should have been stronger. I should have found a way to comfort her without doing what we did. I knew it was wrong. Sure, I tried to stop, but that isn't good enough. I **should** have **stopped** it. That's the root of the problem. **I **should never have slept with Tin-Tin. End of story."

Scott moved behind Gordon. "You both were grieving. Neither of you were thinking straight."

Gordon turned and met Scott's gaze. "And that's supposed to make it right? I don't think so. Now, please leave."

Scott nodded. "Okay, if that's what you want." He then pulled a startled Gordon into an embrace. "I'm sorry that I made you feel worse than you already did. Please don't let your guilt eat away at you. I want to help you if you'll let me, but if you won't, at least talk to Dr. McCall when she gets here."

Gordon pulled out of his brother's arms. He nodded slightly. "I'll think about it."

Scott returned the nod. "Well, how about coming back to the dinner table. You didn't eat much before the announcement."

Gordon shook his head. "I'm not really hungry."

"Are you sure?" Scott asked, and when Gordon nodded, he continued. "Okay, I'll talk to you later." He turned and left the room.

Gordon turned back to look out his window. "God," he thought. "Could this mess ever really be straightened out?" Shaking his head in frustration, he grabbed a swimsuit. Maybe a swim would clear his head. He certainly hoped so.

* * *

Author's Note: Well, there were the reactions. Of course, Scott had to explode. He just thinks he knows everythng. How about that Alan? Standing up to Scott in defense of Gordon. The rest of the family is finally realizing that Alan is growing up. Of course, the situation is basically forcing him to. Poor Gordon, he is still being eaten up by his guilt.

Okay, we meant to add this part to last chapter, but we forgot. Because of the upcoming holidays, our schedule is going to be a little lopsided. We are intending to update the story still once a week, but it will range anywhere from early on a Friday to late on a Sunday just depending on what is going on. Thanks to all our faithful reviewers. We may not get a chance to respond individually to each review in the upcoming weeks, but that doesn't mean that we aren't appreciative of them. We are going to try our best to keep up our normal schedule, but we wanted to put out a forewarning just in case we get behind.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE


	39. The Wedding

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 39 – The Wedding

Gordon shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He peered over the top of his magazine. He glanced around the room and at the three other people in the room, two women and one man. One woman had come in with her husband, but he had promptly fallen asleep almost as soon as he sat down. That woman met Gordon's roaming eyes and gave him a small smirk while rubbing her protruding abdomen. Gordon ducked his eyes back behind his magazine. He felt ridiculous burying his face behind a _Highlights for Children_, but it was a whole lot better than _Expectant Motherhood_ or _Pregnancy for Dummies_. He wished that Alan and Tin-Tin would have just let him finish the shopping, but Tin-Tin was adamant. The ultrasound would only take about a half hour, and it would take him that long just to drive to the next store, let alone shopping and returning for them. He knew that it made sense, but it didn't make him feel anymore comfortable sitting alone in an obstetrician's office.

Gordon shook his head. He couldn't understand why she would even schedule an ultrasound two days before the wedding. He figured that she would want to concentrate on the wedding, but she insisted that if she planned it well, she could fit it in, and she did. So now Gordon sat in the waiting room, wishing that he was anywhere else.

Gordon's thoughts were interrupted by the voice of the nurse. "Mr. Tracy? Gordon Tracy?"

Gordon tossed the magazine on the nearest table and stood up. "I'm Gordon Tracy."

The nurse smiled at him. "Miss Kyrano asked if you would join them."

"Why? Is there something wrong with the baby?" Gordon worriedly asked.

The nurse shook her head. "I really don't know why she wanted you to join them." She led him down the hall and opened a door slightly. "Go ahead on in."

Gordon swallowed the nervous lump that had formed in his throat. He stepped part way in the door. He could see that the technician was still conducting the exam. His concerns forced their way to the front of his mind. He cleared his throat and said. "Hey, guys, the nurse said that you wanted me to join you."

Tin-Tin looked up from her place on the bed. "Yes, come in, Gordon."

Gordon closed the door behind him. "Is there a problem with the baby?" His voice wavered a bit when he asked his question.

"Oh, no, nothing like that." Tin-Tin replied. "Come here and look at the screen."

Gordon moved to where he could see the monitor. He was instantly captivated by the image on the screen. He could make out the head with its dark eye sockets, nose, and mouth. He could see the heart beat through the thin skin of its chest. The partially formed arms and legs moved on their own accord.

"That's the baby?" Gordon whispered in an awed tone.

"Yes, it is." Alan answered.

"And everything is okay?" Gordon hurriedly asked.

The ultrasound technician laughed lightly. "Of course, the doctor will have to look at the scans just to be sure, but things look good. Body weight, movement, and amniotic fluid are all consistent for an eleven week old fetus."

"Can you tell yet if it is a boy or girl?" Gordon asked.

"I asked specifically not to be told." Tin-Tin replied before the nurse had a chance to speak.

Gordon shook his head. "Wow, I can't believe it." He reached a hand out to the screen. "My baby. We're really having a baby."

Tin-Tin smiled. "I feel the same way. It seems more real now. That's why we wanted you to join us. If you're going to be a part of this child's life, you should start now."

A tear of joy escaped Gordon's eye and slowly made its way down his cheek. "Thank you." He said quietly while still keeping his eyes riveted on the monitor. "You'll never know how much this means to me."

Alan gripped Gordon's arm in understanding. When Gordon looked at him, he simply gave him a smile and a nod.

* * *

Tin-Tin woke early on the morning of the wedding. Actually, she was surprised that she had even slept at all. She couldn't understand why she felt nervous about today. Marrying Alan was her dream come true. All the wedding plans had fallen neatly into place, and even though there were a few things that could only be done today, she felt confident that everything would be finished early and with a minimum of pressure. She decided that since she was up early, she would take a relaxing bath. 

After about fifteen minutes of relaxing in the warm, lavender scented water, Tin-Tin heard the household alarm go off. "Oh no, not today, not now." She cried, as she climbed out of the tub and quickly began to dry off.

It took Tin-Tin a few minutes to dress and pull her hair back into a headband. She entered the lounge just in time to see Thunderbird One disappear from sight. "What's going on? Where are they going?" She demanded from Jeff and Alan.

Grandma entered the lounge with Parker following her carrying a tray with coffee and tea and a few pastries and some fresh fruit. She heard Tin-Tin's questions and added her own. "And how long should they be gone? Should I hold breakfast for them?"

Jeff shook his head. "Okay, first question, first. There was a major earthquake off the coast of Hawaii. It created a small landslide on the Island of Lanai, and there is an underwater research facility off the west end of Molokai that was damaged. Virgil is going to drop Gordon and Thunderbird Four off to retrieve the three people from the facility while he and John head to Lanai to meet up with Scott."

"They all went?" Tin-Tin practically shrieked. "But I was counting on them to help today."

Alan took Tin-Tin's hand. "Hey, it'll be okay. We'll just make some adjustments in the plans. You'll see."

"No," Tin-Tin began to ramble. "Don't you get it? They were supposed to make sure the beach was ready. They were supposed to clear away any debris that washed up on shore. Plus, they were supposed to finish the temporary walkway and platform so that you can get your chair down there. What if it doesn't get finished? How will you get to the beach? How will…"

Alan squeezed Tin-Tin's hand. "Come on. Slow down a bit. I'll get to the beach, even if I…" He waved his free hand. "If I have to ride a hover bike." He finished.

"If h'it would 'elp." Parker interjected. "H'I am positive 'hat my Lady would permit me to 'elp in h'any way that h'I can. H'I can work h'on the platform."

"You can't do it by yourself." Tin-Tin challenged. "No body could."

"Per'aps I could steal h'a few moments of 'our father's time." Parker mused out loud.

"But what about the cooking?" Tin-Tin continued to wind herself up. "Mrs. Tracy can't do it all on her own, and then who would be here to meet our guests when they arrive this afternoon? Oh God, who's going to go pick them up from Christchurch? Scott was supposed to do that."

"Well, I can help with the cooking…" Alan volunteered, but Tin-Tin cut him off.

"You cook?" Tin-Tin shook her head as she began to cry. "No, it's ruined…all ruined." She ran from the room still sobbing.

"What the hell just happened here?" Alan asked in confusion.

"Oh, you men," Grandma said before anyone else had a chance to speak. "She's nervous about the wedding. Every bride wants a perfect wedding that goes without a hitch, and rarely does that happen. Plus, the hormonal changes of being pregnant aren't helping either."

"Well, what can we do to help her?" Alan asked.

Grandma stood to her full height as she began to give orders. "First off, I want everyone to meet back here in a half hour. Parker, can you also have Lady Penelope here too?"

"H'I shall try my best." Parker nodded as he replied.

"Good," Grandma continued. "I am going to have Kyrano bring breakfast in here, and we can go over what still needs to be done."

Jeff nodded. "Maybe by then, I'll also have a time frame for the rescue. I'll know more once Scott gets there and evaluates the damage from the landslide. It doesn't sound like Gordon's part with the researchers should be too hard."

"But what about Tin-Tin? Should I go talk to her?" Alan asked, worried about his bride.

Grandma patted Alan on the shoulder. "Don't you worry about Tin-Tin. I'll go talk to her. Things really aren't as bad as she is thinking it is. We left plenty of open time in the schedule for today just in case of complications. Trust me. She is just reacting to the nerves of the day. She's going to be fine."

Grandma and Parker both left the lounge on their individual errands.

Alan looked at her father. "Do you really think we can get everything done?"

Jeff laughed. "I'm sure of it. Your grandmother is now 'a woman on a mission'. It'll get done."

Alan laughed with his father. "You're right. Once grandma sets her mind to something, there's no stopping her."

* * *

Grandma stood outside Tin-Tin's door and knocked. She had already spoken to Kyrano about breakfast, and then she had stopped by her own room for a moment. Tin-Tin opened the door, but she seemed a bit surprised to see who it was. "May I come in, Tin-Tin?" Grandma asked. 

"Of course," Tin-Tin replied as she backed away from the door. She brushed a hand across her red and puffy eyes. "I'm sorry that I got so upset in the lounge. I just wanted everything to be perfect today."

"And it will be." Grandma assured her. "Even if it isn't exactly what you envisioned, it will be perfect in your memories."

Tin-Tin nodded, but her eyes showed that she really didn't believe her.

Grandma continued speaking as she placed three aromatherapy candles on the nightstand and lit them. "Have I ever told you about my wedding?"

Tin-Tin shook her head. "No, but Alan showed me some pictures from it. You had a beautiful outdoor wedding at your farm, didn't you?"

Grandma nodded. "Yes, it was beautiful, and it was perfect because I married my beloved Grant, but would it surprise you to learn that until thirty-two hours before the scheduled time, that 'beautiful, perfect wedding' was supposed to be held at a church."

Tin-Tin's eyes widened. "What happened?"

"The day before the wedding, our town was hit by a tornado." Grandma explained. "The church suffered severe structural damage, and our choice was to either postpone the wedding or move it elsewhere. Since we had already planned on having the reception at the farm, it just made sense to move the wedding there too. It took a lot of work to clean up after the storm, and there were a lot of phone calls to arrange the change in plans. My mother was a little upset that we weren't in a church. 'Before the eyes of God', she claimed, and I didn't get the wedding photo that I wanted in front of the beautiful stained glass window, but it didn't really matter. I got plenty of beautiful photos, and my mother came around to the idea that no matter where we were, we were 'before the eyes of God'. It wasn't what I had planned, but looking back, my wedding was perfect. Yours will be too."

"You're right." Tin-Tin squared her shoulders. "I guess I'd better get busy."

"No, you don't." Grandma told her. "I didn't tell you that story to get you to come work, but just to show you that things will work out."

"With work." Tin-Tin argued. "And that is what I am going to do."

"You can work later." Grandma replied. "But first you are going to take some time to yourself. You're on your last nerve and you're pregnant. You need to take some time to relax. I even brought you some 'relaxation' aromatherapy candles to help you. I want you to take the whole morning to yourself."

"The whole morning!" Tin-Tin exclaimed. "That's too long. I need to be helping."

"You can help this afternoon." Grandma insisted. "Trust 'dear old Grandma'. I've already re-arranged the schedule in my head. You'll be surprised at how much will get done in just a short time. So, take a nap or a bath, listen to music, do whatever you need to do to relax."

"But, I would feel guilty if everyone else is working, and I'm not." Tin-Tin continued to argue.

"Well, don't." Grandma replied. "I'm giving you an order. I don't want to see you until lunch time."

Tin-Tin gave her a small smile. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good girl," Grandma said as she headed towards the door. "I'll have your father bring you some breakfast in a few minutes." With that she left the room.

* * *

Tin-Tin entered the kitchen shortly before noon. She spotted grandma setting the table. "Hello, Mrs. Tracy, how are things going?" 

Grandma looked up. "Hello, Tin-Tin, things are going fine. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, I am." Tin-Tin nodded. "Taking some time for myself really helped. Thank you for insisting on it. You were right about the wedding too. The specifics don't really matter. The only important thing is that I am marrying Alan tonight. If we have to change some of the plans, then that's what we'll do. So, what can I do?"

"Sit down." Grandma told her. "Lunch is almost ready. The others will be here in a few minutes."

"The others?" Tin-Tin questioned. "Is the team back?"

"Not yet." Alan answered her as he entered the kitchen. "Virgil still has to drop off some injured people at the local hospital and then pick up Gordon. They should be back in roughly and hour, maybe and hour and a half."

Jeff, Parker and Lady Penelope entered the kitchen in time to hear Alan's statement. "So, the rescue is basically complete? Were there any problems?"

Alan shook his head. "Nope, everything went without a hitch. I told Scott to call my watch if an unexpected problem does come up."

"Wait a minute." Tin-Tin interrupted. Addressing Jeff, she stated. "I thought you were monitoring the rescue."

Jeff shook his head. "No, I left that to Alan. I was out helping Parker finish the walk."

"And it's done?" Tin-Tin asked in surprise.

"Well," Jeff began. "The flowered archway and the chairs need to be set up, but that's all."

"So what else was done while I was resting?" Tin-Tin asked.

Jeff helped his mother bring the food to the table as she listed off everything that had been done that morning. "Well, the formal dinning room is ready with the exception of the floral arrangements. However, the bouquets, corsages and boutonnieres are finished. The cold food items for the meal are ready. So all we have left to do this afternoon is the hot foods, the chairs, and the flower arrangements for the tables."

Tin-Tin laughed. "It sounds like everything is under control. It makes me wonder why I was freaking out this morning."

Grandma passed Tin-Tin the salad. "You were 'freaking out' because it's your wedding day, and your emotions are wound tight. Most brides on their wedding day are a little high strung. It's totally understandable."

"Well, I want to thank everyone for everything you did this morning." Tin-Tin told the group around the table. "It really does mean a great deal to me."

"It was our pleasure." Jeff reassured her. "You mean a great deal to us, all of us."

Light conversation and laughter filled the room as the group enjoyed their lunch.

* * *

Tin-Tin stood by the window in her room. The afternoon had flown by. The Thunderbirds had returned shortly after lunch. The Tracy brothers had cleaned up and grabbed their own lunches. Scott headed to the mainland earlier to pick up the reverend and the wedding guests. He had returned over two hours ago. Her best friend and matron of honor, Alyssa had arrived and had helped Tin-Tin with her hair and nails. It was now seven pm and the ceremony was to begin in about a half hour. To her relief, all the preparations had been completed in plenty of time. 

A knock on the door drew Tin-Tin from her thoughts. She opened the door, and Alyssa entered the room. "Well, little Jimmy's belly is full. He should be good for a few hours."

"He's a beautiful baby." Tin-Tin said. "He must bring you so much joy."

Alyssa smiled. "He does, and your baby will bring you that joy too. You'll see, but right now it's time for us to get into our dresses."

Tin-Tin nodded as she slipped out of her clothes, leaving on her undergarments. Without her clothes, her growing "baby bump" barely showed through her slip. Alyssa caught sight of her gently rubbing her stomach.

"Do you know if it's a boy of girl?" Alyssa asked as she brought over the gown.

Tin-Tin shook her head as she carefully stepped into the gown. "No, I want to be surprised at the birth."

"That's fun, although most people don't wait anymore." Alyssa commented as she pulled the gown over Tin-Tin's shoulders and fastened it.

Tin-Tin turned to look at herself in the mirror. Her dress was a mid-calf length gown made from pale blue silk with an eastern design embroidered on it with a sliver thread.

Alyssa stood behind her. "Oh, Tin-Tin, you look beautiful."

"Thank you." Tin-Tin replied quietly.

"It won't be long now before you're a married woman. Are you getting nervous?" Alyssa chatted as she slipped into her own dress which was similar to Tin-Tin's, but it was a darker shade of blue and had less embroidery.

Tin-Tin nodded. "Yes, I am. I don't really know why. I love Alan and want to be his wife more than anything. Plus the only guests are either family or really close friends. So why am I feeling this way?"

Alyssa gave Tin-Tin a small hug. "It's perfectly normal. You are entering a new phase of your life. I'll tell you one thing though. If this is how you show your nervousness, you're doing really well. Do you remember how I was on my wedding day? I was a maniac."

Tin-Tin smiled at the memory. "You're right. You were. I'm so glad that you're here. You always seem to know how to make me feel better."

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. Alyssa answered it to find Kyrano waiting on the other side. "Oh, Mr. Kyrano, is it time already?"

"It will be shortly." Kyrano replied. "I was hoping to speak to my daughter, if she has the time."

Alyssa glanced back at Tin-Tin for confirmation. "Yeah, we're ready. I'll just wait in the hall."

Once the door closed behind Alyssa, Kyrano moved to stand in front of Tin-Tin. He took her hands in his own. "You are beautiful, my daughter."

Tin-Tin blushed. "Thank you, Father."

Kyrano blinked back the tears that were building. "Time has gone by so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that you were an inquisitive child following me around, but look at you, now. You are a beautiful young woman ready to embark on your life as a wife and soon to be mother. I am so proud of you. You have taught me so much about myself and life. I love you more than my own life. I pray that you find nothing but joy in your new life."

Tin-Tin kissed Kyrano on the cheek. "Thank you, Father. I love you too. I know that it wasn't always easy for you trying to raise me on your own, especially during the early years. I am so grateful that Mr. Tracy hired you. The whole Tracy family has always treated us wonderfully."

"Yes, we have been blessed." Kyrano replied. "I also know that it has not been easy for you either, daughter. There were many times that I wished that your mother could have been here to help you. I felt inadequate in teaching you 'womanly' things."

Tin-Tin laughed lightly. "You did a wonderful job teaching me those things. I will admit that there were times that I wished mother was still with us, but never because I thought you were lacking in any way. I had a wonderful childhood. You have no reason to ever feel 'inadequate'. I could not have asked for a better father. Always remember that."

"Thank you, Tin-Tin." Kyrano said. "I know that it is part of the circle of life, but it is not easy for me to let you go. You have been my life for so long."

Tin-Tin brushed at the tears that finally spilled out of her father's eyes. Her own tears began to build. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here on the Island, and I'll need you more now than before. Who do you think that I will be coming to for 'parenting advice'?"

Kyrano smiled. "I guess I needed to be assured of that. This is a time of change for everyone, and change can create fear. I am afraid that I fell into it."

Tin-Tin returned the smile. "We're all fearful of the unknown, but we can work through it together. You taught me that."

Kyrano nodded. "We must leave now. It is time to head to the beach. We do not want to keep your groom waiting."

Tin-Tin picked up the bouquets. "I'm ready. Let's go."

* * *

Once Kyrano, Tin-Tin and Alyssa reached the back of the platform on the beach, they could see that all the family members and guests, who consisted of Lady Penelope and Parker, Alyssa's husband, David, who was holding their baby, and lastly was Alan's old mechanic, Kenny and his wife, Sarah, were sitting and talking amongst themselves. Jeff, however, was standing watching for the bridal party. When he saw them, he nodded to the others. Virgil began to play softly on the keyboard. The reverend moved to his place in front of the archway. What surprised Tin-Tin the most was when Jeff and Gordon helped Alan to his feet. He slowly made his way to his spot next to the minister using a walker. Gordon stayed close to him just in case. 

Once Alyssa had walked down the short aisle, Virgil changed the music to the wedding march. Kyrano escorted his daughter down the aisle. Tears streamed down her face.

Once Tin-Tin reached her place in front of Alan, she softly spoke. "Alan? I don't understand. How did this happen? **When** did this happen?"

Alan smiled. "I've been working extra hard in physical therapy. I swore the others to secrecy. I wanted it to be a surprise. It's my gift to you."

"Oh, Alan," Tin-Tin replied. "I don't know what to say. This is so amazing."

The minister began with the customary. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…"

Tin-Tin was so mesmerized by the sight of Alan standing that she toned out the words being spoken. The ceremony went by in a blur. Apparently, she must have answered at the appropriate time because before she knew it, the minister was saying. "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Alan leaned forward and kissed Tin-Tin soft and warm. Tin-Tin's heart soared. Her dream had finally come true. She was now and forever would be Mrs. Alan Tracy.

* * *

Author's Note - Yay!!!!!! They're married!!!! Even with the day's hiccups that sent poor Tin-Tin into a tizzy. Both Grumpy and Convert know that feeling. We both had things go awry on our wedding days that sent us into a paniced frenzy, which now we laugh about. 

Thanks to all our readers and reviewers. We hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	40. Epilogue

Cause and Effect

By GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. We wish we did, but it's just one of those dreams that will never come true. We do NOT make any money off this endeavor. It is just for our own pleasure, and (we hope) your enjoyment.

Chapter 40 – Epilogue

_SIX MONTHS LATER_

Grandma sat in a chair, knitting. The knitting needles created a rhythmic clicking as the baby blanket slowly took shape. Jeff paced back and forth across the small room. His mother watched him with a frown on her face.

Finally, in frustration, grandma dropped her knitting in her lap and said. "Will you please stop that infernal pacing?"

Jeff moved to the open door and looked down the hallway. "What is taking so long?"

"Jefferson Grant Tracy," Grandma laughed. "Have you forgotten how long it takes to have a baby?"

Jeff smiled and sat down in the chair next to his mother. "I know, but it just seems so much longer when you are outside the labor room, waiting."

Grandma laughed again. "Now you know how I felt each time Lucy gave birth."

"Well, I guess that just proves the old adage. 'What goes around comes around.' I guess it's my turn." Jeff said as he resumed his pacing.

Grandma picked up her knitting again. "I sure hope that Virgil brings back decaffeinated coffee. You don't need anymore stimulants."

Jeff didn't reply as he continued his pacing.

Grandma shook her head and thought to herself. "This is going to be a long wait."

* * *

Alan stood next to the bed and held Tin-Tin's hand as she breathed through another contraction. "That's it, honey. You're doing great. Breathe." His eyes flicked back and forth between Tin-Tin and the fetal monitor. He watched as the contraction crested. "Okay, sweetheart, it's going down. It's almost over." As the graph line decreased into a flat line, he said. "There you go. Time for a deep, cleansing breath." 

Tin-Tin exhaled a deep breath and relaxed into her pillow. "Wow, they're starting to get stronger now."

"Are you okay?" Alan asked. "Do you want something for the pain? I could get the nurse…"

Just as Alan mentioned "nurse", she entered the room. "Did someone mention 'nurse'?"

Alan nodded. "Yeah, she's in a lot of pain. The contractions are getting stronger and closer together. You need to give her something."

Tin-Tin rolled her eyes. "Alan, I can speak for myself."

The nurse smiled as she checked the readings on the fetal monitor. "Things here are looking good. The baby's heart rate is good, and the contractions are nice and steady." Moving towards the end of the bed, she said. "Now, I need to check your dilation. Then we can discuss how you want to proceed."

Gordon had been sitting quietly in a chair. When the nurse mentioned checking Tin-Tin, he got up nervously. "Hey, look, I'm going to go get some coffee. Do you want some, Alan? How about you Tin-Tin? Can I get you anything? More ice chips? A magazine? Anything?"

Tin-Tin shook her head, but Alan said. "I would appreciate a cup of coffee as long as it's okay with Tin-Tin." Turning towards Tin-Tin, he asked. "Will it upset you if we drink it in here?"

Gordon reddened. "I'm sorry, Tin-Tin. I should have thought about your restrictions."

Tin-Tin shook her head. "No, that's okay. Enjoy your coffee. I'll be all right."

"I'll be back in a few minutes." Gordon said as he quickly ducked out the door. He paused for a moment to collect his thoughts before taking a deep breath and moving down the hall.

* * *

Jeff saw Gordon coming down the hall, and he practically dragged him into the waiting room. "How's it going? Is she getting close? Or did she deliver already?" He demanded. 

"Please, Jeff," Grandma said. "Give the poor boy a chance to catch his breath before you begin to hound him."

Jeff nodded. "Sorry, Gordon, but I'm just so nervous. It's not every day that I become a grandfather."

Gordon shook his head. "There's no baby yet, but things are progressing. The nurse is checking Tin-Tin right now. So, I'll know more once I get back, but I'm sure that it will still be a while."

"Where are you headed?" Virgil asked.

"I was headed to the cafeteria." Gordon answered. "I was going to get Alan and I some coffee."

Virgil nodded. "Why don't I join you?" Turning to the rest of the family, he asked. "Does any one want anything else?"

Jeff shook his head. "I still have some coffee left."

"Tea, please," Grandma requested. "With honey."

"No problem," Virgil said, and he and Gordon left the waiting room.

* * *

The nurse quickly finished the exam. "Well, Mrs. Tracy, you are dilated to about five centimeters, and your contractions are around six minutes apart. Things are progressing on schedule, but you still have a while to go. So would you like something for the pain?" 

Tin-Tin shook her head. "No, I'd like to try to hold out for a bit longer."

"But Tin-Tin, you're in pain." Alan argued. "There's no shame in getting help through this."

Tin-Tin nodded. "I know, but it's still better if I do it without the drugs. I want to do…" Whatever she was going to say was cut off when another contraction began.

Alan took her hand and let her squeeze it. He encouraged her as he kept an eye on the monitor. "Come on, baby. Breathe with me. He, he, he, he. You're doing really well. Keep breathing. He, he, he, he. It's cresting. There, it's going down. Keep breathing. He, he, he, he. It's almost over. It's easing…easing…there, it's over. Cleansing breath…deep in…slow out. Are you okay? Do you want some ice chips?"

"I'm okay. I don't need anything." Tin-Tin answered him.

"You're actually doing very well with your breathing." The nurse added.

Alan gently ran a hand through her hair. "I really wish that you would take something for the pain. I hate seeing you like this."

"Please understand, Alan." Tin-Tin said. "If it is at all possible, I want to have a natural child birth. I promise that if it gets to be too much for me to handle, I'll ask for something. Okay?"

"Okay," Alan smiled at her. "You are so brave. I could never do this. I love you so much."

"I love you too." Tin-Tin replied. "I can only do this with your support."

Alan leaned over and kissed Tin-Tin. "You will always have my support, now and forever."

"So, are we good for right now?" The nurse asked.

Tin-Tin nodded. "Yeah, we're good."

The nurse nodded. "Okay, then I'm going to step out now. I'll be in to check on you in a while. If you need me for anything before that, just buzz me. Also, just for your information, the doctor should be back shortly to check in on you again."

"Thank you." Tin-Tin replied, and the nurse left the room.

* * *

Virgil and Gordon walked to the cafeteria. "So, how are you doing, Gordon?" 

Gordon shrugged. "I'm fine. It's no big deal."

"No big deal?" Virgil shook his head. "It won't be long before you're a father. I would say that's a big deal."

Gordon sighed as he paid for the drinks. "I have to get back." He said as he grabbed the drink carrier and headed back towards Tin-Tin's room.

Virgil turned and followed Gordon. "Hey, Gordon, what's wrong? And don't tell me nothing. I can tell that something is bothering you."

Gordon stopped walking and leaned against the wall. "I guess I just don't know where I fit into this. Tin-Tin and Alan said that I belonged in the delivery room, but I feel so useless. I mean Alan is Tin-Tin's coach, and she is doing all the work. With the exception of running the video camera when she actually starts to deliver, there's nothing for me to do but twiddle my thumbs. I sit there while poor Tin-Tin suffers, knowing that I did this to her, and I also know that there's nothing that I can do to make things better for her. God, this is so not how I imagined the birth of my first child would be."

"Look, Gordon," Virgil began. "I'm not going to pretend to know what you are going through. The one thing that I do know is that even though you are feeling out of place right now, you will be glad that you are there when the baby is finally born."

Gordon nodded. "I know you're right, but the waiting is hard to deal with."

"But it will be worth it when you see your baby for the first time." Virgil replied.

"Well, I really have to head back to make sure that I am there when that happens." Gordon said.

"Then let's get going, little bro." Virgil laughed lightly as they made their way down the hall.

* * *

John and Scott entered the waiting room to join the rest of the family. Scott had flown up to Thunderbird Five to get John when Tin-Tin's water had broken. 

"How's it going? Did we miss it?" Scott wanted to know.

Jeff shook his head. "No, we're still waiting. You two are a little later than I expected. Was there a problem?"

John shook his head. "No, not really, just general nuisance stuff. We were stuck circling the airport for twenty minutes waiting for our turn to land, then there was a major traffic jam on the way from the airport that tied us up for almost an hour. But we're here now, and we managed to get here before the baby arrived."

Jeff looked around. "Where's Brains?"

John shook his head. "He didn't come. He insisted that this was a time for family, and that someone needed to keep an eye on any calls that came in. He said that he would call us if one does come in."

"Any ideas on how much longer that it will be?" Scott asked.

Grandma rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath. "Men!"

Jeff shook his head. "Babies don't follow strict schedules, but the last update we received was that she was dilated to seven centimeters and the contractions are now down to only three minutes apart."

"So, what does that mean?" Scott continued questioning. "Is that Good? Bad? What?"

Jeff laughed. "It means that we could be waiting another hour or more, or Tin-Tin could be giving birth as we speak. It just depends on how quickly or slowly her labor progresses. There's just no way to know for certain."

John looked around. "Hey, where's Kyrano?"

Grandma's knitting needles clicked away. "The hospital has a small arboretum. He decided to wait there. He said that being among the flowers would 'keep him grounded'. We promised to go get him as soon as we knew anything."

"Well, I sure could use something to drink." John said. "How about you, Scott?"

"Coffee sounds great." Scott answered.

"I'll show you where the cafeteria is." Virgil offered in an effort to give himself something to do instead of just sitting.

"Sure," John replied as he followed Virgil. "Anyone else want anything?"

Grandma shook her head, and Jeff answered. "Nah, we had plenty to drink before you two got here. If I have anymore, I'll float away."

John nodded. "Okay, we'll be right back." The two brothers left the room.

* * *

"Okay, Tin-Tin, you're doing great." The doctor said from his seated position at the end of the bed. "I can see the head. So on the next contraction; I want you to give me a long, hard, **steady** push. Let's see if we can't get the head out in one push." 

Alan sat on the edge of Tin-Tin's bed helping to support her back and to wipe the sweat from her face. "You hear that honey. It's getting close. Are you getting this Gordon?"

"Yes, I am, Alan." Gordon said enthusiastically from behind the doctor where he was filming the birth. "He has red hair."

Alan smiled at his brother's excitement. Turning his attention back to Tin-Tin, he said. "Let's get ready. Here comes the next contraction. Deep breath and push." Alan counted to ten. "Okay, exhale, deep breath, and push."

Tin-Tin groaned loudly as she pushed as hard as she could.

Over Alan's counting, the doctor also encouraged Tin-Tin. "You're doing great. The baby is coming. Nice and smooth, now, nice and smooth." When Alan reached seven on his second count, the doctor said. "Heads out…stop pushing. I need to rotate the baby. Breathe through it." After a few seconds, he told Tin-Tin. "Okay, one more good push to deliver the shoulders and you'll be done."

Tin-Tin gripped Alan's hand tightly as she pushed as hard as she could. Everyone in the room were encouraging her.

After a hard push and a guttural moan from Tin-Tin, the doctor announced. "That's it. The baby's out. Congratulations."

Tin-Tin's tears fell as her baby's cries filled the room.

Alan's eyes also filled with tears. "You did it Tin. You're a mom. I'm so proud of you."

Gordon's tears streamed silently down his face as the nurse handed Tin-Tin his baby. He moved next to the bed. Gently he reached out and stroked his baby's hand. "Perfect…so perfect." He whispered.

"It's amazing." Alan said. "I can hardly believe it."

Tin-Tin nodded. "I know. I can't wait to see the family's reaction."

"Well, let's get you and the baby cleaned up and then you can see them." The nurse said.

* * *

Jeff could tell by the increase of hospital personnel going in and out of Tin-Tin's room that the birth had to be close. He had sent John to get Kyrano. Now the group waited for news. Grandma and Kyrano sat patiently, but the Tracy men paced around the waiting room. 

It was well over an hour though before the nurse came to get them. "Mr. and Mrs. Tracy have asked that you join them."

"Is everything okay? What did she have?" Jeff began to question the nurse as they followed her down the hall.

The nurse just shook her head. "I'm sorry. You'll have to get that information from the parents." The nurse stopped and stuck her head inside the door. "Are you ready for visitors?" The answer must have been in the affirmative because the nurse stepped aside and motioned for them to go in.

Kyrano and Jeff were the first into the room with the rest of the family close behind. Tin-Tin lay on the bed looking tired but happy. Her hair was still damp from sweat, and her eyes were drooping with fatigue, but she smiled when she saw her family. "Hi, guys, how's it going?"

Scott laughed. "Shouldn't that be our line?"

"So, my grandson?" Jeff demanded.

Alan, who was sitting next to Tin-Tin holding her hand, smiled and looked across the bed at his brother who sat in the other chair talking quietly to the bundle in his arms. "We thought we'd let Gordon make the introductions." Alan said.

Gordon stood and moved towards his family. "Dad, Kyrano, I'd like you to meet your granddaughter, Christina Lucille Tracy."

"A girl?" Jeff asked dumbfounded. "But that's impossible."

Laughter flitted through the room. "I would say that since Christina is here that it is possible." Kyrano replied.

Jeff shook his head. "You know what I mean. There hasn't been a Tracy daughter in five generations."

"Well, leave it to Gordon to break with family tradition." Virgil teased.

"Maybe we should check the diaper just to make sure that this isn't a practical joke of Gordon's." Scott teased.

Gordon shook his head. "My daughter is no joke."

"No, of course not," Scott quickly acquiesced. "I'm sorry. I was just teasing you."

"Can I hold her?" Jeff asked tentatively.

Gordon nodded and carefully moved Christina into his father's arms. The rest of the family crowded around him to get a look at the newest Tracy. The jostling woke the baby who opened her eyes for just a few seconds before settling back to sleep. In those few moments, Jeff could see that she had inherited her mother's green eyes as well as her olive skin and high cheekbones. Her red hair, though, was all her father's as was her nose and mouth. Jeff was willing to bet that when she started to smile that it would also be much like Gordon's.

Jeff handed Christina to Kyrano. He looked at his two youngest sons and the woman between them. The three of them wore smiles on their faces. He couldn't help but think of all that had happened over the past year. First, John's accident that almost drove Alan to a desperate act, then Alan's shooting and almost dying which in turn lead to Christina's conception. The wedding followed, as did Alan's continued recovery. Brains had told him only a couple weeks ago that Alan should be back to full strength in another couple of months. Now, the baby was here. Jeff knew that Alan had forgiven Tin-tin and Gordon for sleeping together, but he wondered if they were truly prepared for the life that lay ahead. There were so many problems that would arise: differences in parenting styles and decisions, jealousy while watching her interact with the other parent, and what if Alan and Tin-Tin have more children. Will Gordon be able to handle that? Watching his daughter interact with siblings? Will Alan and Tin-Tin be able to handle it? Jeff shook his head. Only time will tell, only time.

_**THE END

* * *

**_Author's Note - Well, folks here we are at the end of our "epic novel". Which does not mean that we have seen the last of the Tracys or Christina. We have ideas for not only one sequel but two, and who knows how many more will pop up before we get those written. We hope that you have enjoyed the resolution. When we started this story, we never thought that it would have gone on as long as it did.

We are sorry that this chapter is a little later than normal, but with the holiday schedules, family coming in from out of town and later Christmas gatherings, it just worked out this way. We want to thank EVERYONE who was so faithful in reviewing and encouraging us to keep going, especially to Lillehafrue and Tikatu. This story encompassed sixteen months of our lives, and we are grateful that people enjoyed it. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. Hopefully, we will see you around the story boards.


End file.
